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All My Life. - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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My Life, My Ordea / My Life, My Job / My Vision Of Love Is Spending My Life With You. (2) (3) (4)

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All My Life. by denex: 1:00am On Jul 24, 2007
ALL MY LIFE.

No one sees my pain
I'm always crying in the rain
and all my tears are washed away.
But so much sorry still remains.

Wish I could borrow me some joy,
a little happiness to keep me warm,
but where I seek there's only hurt
and I can't deny that I've been cursed.

The sun may shine and rain may fall
but ne'ertheless, there's still no luck.
I try to blame but it's no one's fault
the road I chose, I have to walk.

I sit and watch the days go by,
just waiting there till xI lose my mind.
I've loved and cried, I live to die,
I've carried this pain with me all my life.
Re: All My Life. by Ndi(f): 9:35am On Jul 25, 2007
@ Denex

I am really touched, but u know life is not all sorrow and pain.
Lighten up.
Re: All My Life. by iice(f): 1:00pm On Jul 25, 2007
Loved it!
Re: All My Life. by denex: 2:32pm On Jul 25, 2007
Alright Ndi, I heard ya!

Thanks iice. I still haven't written anything new but I'll let you know.
Re: All My Life. by RuuDie(m): 3:47pm On Aug 02, 2007
Its a lovely little piece. . . i like it when people break down their poems into verses, hugely enhances readability and makes it a whole lot less cumbersome. but your poem lost a bit of color in the 3rd verse. . . the first two lines of that verse were a bit off-key and almost nearly discordant with the entirety. . .
however, it's very sound, technical stuff. . . just be wary of li'l details in such "metaphorically-inclined" poems!
Re: All My Life. by denex: 5:35pm On Aug 06, 2007
Alright, that's noted. I'll work on it. Been a while I did any revision. Thanks all the same.
Re: All My Life. by jintujinta(m): 3:33pm On Oct 10, 2007
Good one there brother, But in that last stanza you said you sit and watch. That is where the problem is brother, dont sit and watch the world go by. Be active, grab the world by the balls. It will have no choice but to yeild of its best to you!
Re: All My Life. by Trevelyan(m): 11:48pm On Oct 10, 2007
Nice poem buddy,i can feel ur sense of xpresion, ure very much a writer like me
Re: All My Life. by denex: 11:59pm On Oct 11, 2007
Thanks, thanks, my people I appreciate and notes taken.
Re: All My Life. by nex(m): 8:15pm On Aug 15, 2009
I even forgot I ever posted this here.

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