Social avoidance, this alone will mess up your life in more ways can you can imagine. In fact I could attribute (total wild assumption) 90% of my social failures just to avoidance!
It’s a terrible habit, easy to fall into. Basically consists on avoiding situations that make you uncomfortable, problem is that when you’re naturally shy – a lot of situations make you uncomfortable!

So what happens is that you start avoiding social situations altogether.

Your comfort zone gets smaller and smaller every time and you just stop trusting your ability to handle social situations. Social intuition, social skills and social confidence go down the drain!

Terrible!

Flickr Image by popofatticusThing is, this is a VERY common trend among socially anxious people and people with low social confidence in general.
It turns into a vicious circle that gets you stuck and not going anywhere, you stop growing and start shrinking.

Anyways, this a website oriented to social excellence, so I’m here you offer you advice on how to stop this right now!

Back in the day I used to be a super philosopher, since I had nothing to do really I spent hours and hours thinking about my life situation and how to improve it.

I came up with the following phrase regarding my social skills:
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“Stop the avoidance and the fear will go away”
This basically sums it up; avoidance is a decision, not an uncontrollable fact. You make the choice whether to avoid situations or to face them.

There’s really no in-between at this point, you’re either growing or shrinking, you’re either facing situations or avoiding situations.

Reality is that the worst thing that can happen is getting rejected when facing a situation, maybe some small bruises on the ego.

So there is really no point on choosing to be avoidant, except facing some bad emotions. You guys do the math!


Facing some fear and the possibility of rejection = Growth
Being safe = Going backwards

There’s tons of advice here on socialsuccessmastery.com! However this is one of those really vital and basic articles, the pinnacle of my improvement.

Construct your social empire on solid bases; this is one of those solid bases.

The decision to grow, stop avoiding and start facing, then build up with all the other tools offered here and on many other websites.

Here’s some practical advice on what to do:

Picture your current life situation.
Picture situations in your life, where social avoidance happens.
Once you have a few situations where you usually avoid the social discomfort, picture how someone you admire would act.
Define your personal style.
Act on it.
It’s important that in social improvement you focus on a few things and not in all the mass of information, so, start bit by bit - this one of those basic things to focus on or starters.

Remember social avoidance is your first enemy towards building your social empire, act on it and move forward.
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