And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect. [30:21]




Psychologists have long known about the contrast principle and it is easily demonstrated in university campuses around the world with the simplest of experiments. Teacher brings in three buckets of hot, cold and tepid (room temperature) water and a student each (while blindfolded) is asked to place their hand in the hot water bucket and the other in the cold one. Then, both are asked to dip the same hand in tepid (room temperature) water and describe the sensation.

Wow!

The student who had earlier dipped his hand in hot water describes it as cold while the other describes it as hot. That’s because they had different “comparison points” and anchors.

Marketing gurus and sales people use this principle to maximum effect! In the US estate agents are taught to show “overinflated and mediocre” properties first before showing the actual property which they want to sell and the instant glow in the eyes of the unsuspecting customer tells its own story. The first “overinflated and mediocre” property contrasts and extenuates the second property and the customer views it much better than it actually is.

Car dealers are taught to always negotiate the base (sticker price) of the car before selling options (tinted windows, sunroof, alloys etc) because the cost of £780 for tinted windows seems miniscule compared to the £18,000 which has been agreed for the car.

Similarly department store sales staffs are trained to offer you an additional £60 silk tie after the sale of £600 suit.

Overpriced deserts and drinks at restaurants work on the same principle.

Here is the kicker!

Sara Gutierres, Ph.D., and Douglas Kenrick, Ph.D conducted a series of experiments where male college students were offered a photo of a potential blind date candidate of average attractiveness. If the men were watching “Charlie’s Angels” the photo appeared to be less desirable (then it actually was) to the point where men wouldn’t bother for a date which was available to them. The glamour girls of “Charlie’s Angels” were to blame because they made average attractiveness look mediocre.

We (as Muslims) are bombarded by men and women of “perfect figures” by the media, what do you think it’s doing to our relationships? For men, Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’aan:

[3:14] It has been made attractive for people to love the desired things; that is, women, children, hoarded heaps of gold and silver, branded horses, cattle and tillage. That is an enjoyment of the worldly life; but with Allah lies the beauty of the final resort.

Women are a source of attraction for men to begin with but when the “curvy beauties of the screen” are watched with intent then the perfectly attractive Sunnah loving home wife won’t seem so attractive anymore.

Hollywood or Bollywood, movies, drams, soaps and songs will inevitably downgrade your spouse because Shaytaan is there to exploit the “Law of Contrast” and make the “curvy beauties of the screen” appear much more sensual and attractive than they actually are. Similar is the concept of “intellectual superiority” where the well rehearsed Pundit on the media will make your own spouse look inferior then they really are.

Islamic Tele-evangelism, Nasheed concerts and pop culture are also nothing but deadly to our Islamic ideology while thinly disguised as “Islamic events”. And then we have the massive “Islamic conferences” where speakers are flown in from overseas paid megabucks and housed in 5-star accommodations to deliver “Islamic talks” to thousands of fans.

Where are we heading with all of this?

In our communities, how many of us have heard stories of marital breakdowns where the spouse is deemed to be “physically unattractive” or “intellectually inferior” while we scratch our heads and say, “There isn’t a lot wrong with him or her!”.

Can the “Law of contrast ” be discounted in the breakdown of Muslim family epidemic which every community is experiencing?

Fortunately, the Qur’aan gives solid advice to limit the damage as follows:

Guard your gaze: The poison of “contrast” enters your heart and mind through your eyes so the Qur’aan commands the first barrier to be placed on the sight:
[24:30] Tell the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

[24:31] And tell the believing women that they must lower their gazes…

2. Dolled up Hijabees & Macho Bearded men: How many times have you been to the Masjid and noticed “dolled up Hijabi Sisters” with layers upon layers of makeup and skin tight clothes OR men with tight clothes to show their bodies which they have worked tirelessly at the gym for weeks on end? These “creatures of self-indulgence” must be told that they are committing Haram while enticing others.

[24:31] ….and guard their private parts, and must not expose their adornment, except that which appears thereof, and must wrap their bosoms with their shawls, and must not expose their adornment, except to their husbands or their fathers or the fathers of their husbands, or to their sons or the sons of their husbands, or to their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters, or to their women, or to those owned by their right hands, or male attendants having no (sexual) urge, or to the children who are not yet conscious of the shames of women. And let them not stamp their feet in a way that the adornment they conceal is known. And repent to Allah O believers, all of you, so that you may achieve success.

3. Thanking Allah (SWT): Next time your spouse does something which pleases you don’t forget to “Thank Allah (SWT)”.

[14:7] (Recall the time) when your Lord declared, .If you express gratitude, I shall certainly give you more, and if you are ungrateful, then My punishment is severe.

4. Mr Perfect & Miss Right? There is a saying “Nobody is perfect” but it’s time to implement it. Next time you are searching for perfection in your spouse, direct that gaze to yourself instead and follow the command of Allah (SWT) for the “dear wife”:

[4:19] O you who believe, it is not lawful for you that you should forcibly take women as inheritance. Do not hold on to them so that you may take away some of what you have given them, unless they commit a clearly shameful act. Live with them in the recognized manner. If you dislike them, then it is quite likely that you dislike something and Allah has placed a lot of good in it.

So before reaching for that remote control next time remember what it’s doing to your relationship!

Jamiat ULAMA

All these Laws and Some Faithfuls are still Closet Gays and Intolerant Wife Beaters and Sugar Daddies to Underage girls and women they would consider Infidels By Religious standards ;.... ok oooooh Suffering and Smiling

Jazak Allah

IslamVIRGINS:
The laws of Islam that recommend wife beating, I do pity most Muslim women because they have been subjected to mere punching bag

half knowledge dissemination, is equal to fake news, which is a crime.

Pity your self.

This is all I've got to say

Mccullum:


half knowledge dissemination, is equal to fake news, which is a crime.

Pity your self.

Yes, you are right

Na wah for religion.

We bear their names, they don't bear ours.

God came from their land, but not from ours.

We worship God according to their culture, but they don't do anything according to ours.

We use terms in their language at the detriment of suppressing ours.

Stand for your self, your culture is your heritage.

Stop killing it!!!

Learn about Islam and be guided towards eternal life

May Allah make it easy on us.

No brother or sister should reply any comment that insults on the thread pls.

That's what they want, ignore them.

They don't matter, not in the slightest form.

Hmmm this so called law of contrast is true. I used to love modesty and sisters in hijab I still do but nowadays my exposure and limitless access to ladies on social media as make me see sisters less attractive and rather prefer a tight jeans wearing lady or a skimpy cloth wearing girls.
I am afraid if this might affect my decision in choosing a future spouse

nitt:
May Allah make it easy on us.

No brother or sister should reply any comment that insults on the thread pls.

That's what they want, ignore them.

They don't matter, not in the slightest form.

Tell me one thing you've influenced the Saudi Arabians on the basis of your cultural heritage?

Nothing!

You're even bearing their names, which shows the identity of being a conquered Slave.

JAZAAKALLAH.

AS FOR THE "DOLLED UP HIJABIS AND BEARDED MACHO BROTHERS",

(2:9) They are trying to deceive Allah and those who believe, but they do not realize that in truth they are only deceiving themselves.

QUR'AN 2, VERSE 9

Mccullum:


half knowledge dissemination, is equal to fake news, which is a crime.

Pity your self.

Even Qur'an 4:34 is a fake news where Allah subjected your Muslim women to mere nothing?

Jazakallahu khairan. This is quite an eye opener. I'm hearing of this concept for the first time

motayoayinde:
JAZAAKALLAH.

AS FOR THE "DOLLED UP HIJABIS AND BEARDED MACHO BROTHERS",

(2:9) They are trying to deceive Allah and those who believe, but they do not realize that in truth they are only deceiving themselves.

QUR'AN 2, VERSE 9

I think many of them are ignorant of what they do. May be a good idea inviting them to places of good sittings so they can learn more.

STEWpid:


Tell me one thing you've influenced the Saudi Arabians on the basis of your cultural heritage?

Who told you Islam is a religion of Arabs. Who placed social and economic embargo on the muslims? who waged war on Islam and muslims?
The final message had to emanate from somewhere and Allah chose Arab lands for reasons both known and unknown.

rowrowland:

Who told you Islam is a religion of Arabs. Who placed social and economic embargo on the muslims? who waged war on Islam and muslims?
The final message had to emanate from somewhere and Allah chose Arab lands for reasons both known and unknown.

I can sense how your vein swells in defense of the Arab people and religion.

Is the Arabian leader (muhamad) from Nigeria? You behave as if your tribe do not have history.

What about the only language acceptable by the religion (Arabic), which relegates your own indigenous language as worthless?

Why is God always translated to al-lah (the moon god) and acceptable as such, and not in your own local language?

Where is the muslim's holy site situated? Why don't we have any in Nigeria so that people can also spend money annually to visit and improve our economy?

Among the 5 tenets of islam, is hajj not part of it? Which means to travel to the holy site in mecca, Saudi Arabia so far you have money to do so?

Why is there no peace in all islamic countries and countries that practice islam worldwide? Example, Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, Turkey, Nigeria, etc..

Why do you answer kabiru, fatimah, muhammad, ibrahim, etc. and none of them over there get to appreciate your own in any manner?

The list goes on and on..

Let me tell you...

When Slave Masters conquer their slaves, they mandate their slaves to bear their names.

Think!!!

You have your own soul.

...and you can't defend what you know nothing about!!!


Now, tell us where the final message emanated from and what are the known reasons you were claiming? How sure are you? Are you not just acting based on what you were told? Black people en..

Stop defending the Arabian heritage that saw the conquer of your forefathers, which is why you're a muslim today.

Mind you..I was once a muslim. Yet, currently, I'm not a christian.

Women are so disregarded in islam; they are seen only as sexual objects. While the male counterparts get 72 virgins after life, what do the women get?

Nothing for women here, and nothing for them in after life.

Jazakumllahu khairan..... May Allah make it easy for us all

Lukgaf:
And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect. [30:21]




Psychologists have long known about the contrast principle and it is easily demonstrated in university campuses around the world with the simplest of experiments. Teacher brings in three buckets of hot, cold and tepid (room temperature) water and a student each (while blindfolded) is asked to place their hand in the hot water bucket and the other in the cold one. Then, both are asked to dip the same hand in tepid (room temperature) water and describe the sensation.

Wow!

The student who had earlier dipped his hand in hot water describes it as cold while the other describes it as hot. That’s because they had different “comparison points” and anchors.

Marketing gurus and sales people use this principle to maximum effect! In the US estate agents are taught to show “overinflated and mediocre” properties first before showing the actual property which they want to sell and the instant glow in the eyes of the unsuspecting customer tells its own story. The first “overinflated and mediocre” property contrasts and extenuates the second property and the customer views it much better than it actually is.

Car dealers are taught to always negotiate the base (sticker price) of the car before selling options (tinted windows, sunroof, alloys etc) because the cost of £780 for tinted windows seems miniscule compared to the £18,000 which has been agreed for the car.

Similarly department store sales staffs are trained to offer you an additional £60 silk tie after the sale of £600 suit.

Overpriced deserts and drinks at restaurants work on the same principle.

Here is the kicker!

Sara Gutierres, Ph.D., and Douglas Kenrick, Ph.D conducted a series of experiments where male college students were offered a photo of a potential blind date candidate of average attractiveness. If the men were watching “Charlie’s Angels” the photo appeared to be less desirable (then it actually was) to the point where men wouldn’t bother for a date which was available to them. The glamour girls of “Charlie’s Angels” were to blame because they made average attractiveness look mediocre.

We (as Muslims) are bombarded by men and women of “perfect figures” by the media, what do you think it’s doing to our relationships? For men, Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’aan:

[3:14] It has been made attractive for people to love the desired things; that is, women, children, hoarded heaps of gold and silver, branded horses, cattle and tillage. That is an enjoyment of the worldly life; but with Allah lies the beauty of the final resort.

Women are a source of attraction for men to begin with but when the “curvy beauties of the screen” are watched with intent then the perfectly attractive Sunnah loving home wife won’t seem so attractive anymore.

Hollywood or Bollywood, movies, drams, soaps and songs will inevitably downgrade your spouse because Shaytaan is there to exploit the “Law of Contrast” and make the “curvy beauties of the screen” appear much more sensual and attractive than they actually are. Similar is the concept of “intellectual superiority” where the well rehearsed Pundit on the media will make your own spouse look inferior then they really are.

Islamic Tele-evangelism, Nasheed concerts and pop culture are also nothing but deadly to our Islamic ideology while thinly disguised as “Islamic events”. And then we have the massive “Islamic conferences” where speakers are flown in from overseas paid megabucks and housed in 5-star accommodations to deliver “Islamic talks” to thousands of fans.

Where are we heading with all of this?

In our communities, how many of us have heard stories of marital breakdowns where the spouse is deemed to be “physically unattractive” or “intellectually inferior” while we scratch our heads and say, “There isn’t a lot wrong with him or her!”.

Can the “Law of contrast ” be discounted in the breakdown of Muslim family epidemic which every community is experiencing?

Fortunately, the Qur’aan gives solid advice to limit the damage as follows:

Guard your gaze: The poison of “contrast” enters your heart and mind through your eyes so the Qur’aan commands the first barrier to be placed on the sight:
[24:30] Tell the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

[24:31] And tell the believing women that they must lower their gazes…

2. Dolled up Hijabees & Macho Bearded men: How many times have you been to the Masjid and noticed “dolled up Hijabi Sisters” with layers upon layers of makeup and skin tight clothes OR men with tight clothes to show their bodies which they have worked tirelessly at the gym for weeks on end? These “creatures of self-indulgence” must be told that they are committing Haram while enticing others.

[24:31] ….and guard their private parts, and must not expose their adornment, except that which appears thereof, and must wrap their bosoms with their shawls, and must not expose their adornment, except to their husbands or their fathers or the fathers of their husbands, or to their sons or the sons of their husbands, or to their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters, or to their women, or to those owned by their right hands, or male attendants having no (sexual) urge, or to the children who are not yet conscious of the shames of women. And let them not stamp their feet in a way that the adornment they conceal is known. And repent to Allah O believers, all of you, so that you may achieve success.

3. Thanking Allah (SWT): Next time your spouse does something which pleases you don’t forget to “Thank Allah (SWT)”.

[14:7] (Recall the time) when your Lord declared, .If you express gratitude, I shall certainly give you more, and if you are ungrateful, then My punishment is severe.

4. Mr Perfect & Miss Right? There is a saying “Nobody is perfect” but it’s time to implement it. Next time you are searching for perfection in your spouse, direct that gaze to yourself instead and follow the command of Allah (SWT) for the “dear wife”:

[4:19] O you who believe, it is not lawful for you that you should forcibly take women as inheritance. Do not hold on to them so that you may take away some of what you have given them, unless they commit a clearly shameful act. Live with them in the recognized manner. If you dislike them, then it is quite likely that you dislike something and Allah has placed a lot of good in it.

So before reaching for that remote control next time remember what it’s doing to your relationship!

Jamiat ULAMA

This is very thoughtful, Jazzakallau kair dear brother

Lukgaf:
And it is among His signs that He has created for you wives from among yourselves, so that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has created love and kindness between you. Surely in this there are signs for a people who reflect. [30:21]




Psychologists have long known about the contrast principle and it is easily demonstrated in university campuses around the world with the simplest of experiments. Teacher brings in three buckets of hot, cold and tepid (room temperature) water and a student each (while blindfolded) is asked to place their hand in the hot water bucket and the other in the cold one. Then, both are asked to dip the same hand in tepid (room temperature) water and describe the sensation.

Wow!

The student who had earlier dipped his hand in hot water describes it as cold while the other describes it as hot. That’s because they had different “comparison points” and anchors.

Marketing gurus and sales people use this principle to maximum effect! In the US estate agents are taught to show “overinflated and mediocre” properties first before showing the actual property which they want to sell and the instant glow in the eyes of the unsuspecting customer tells its own story. The first “overinflated and mediocre” property contrasts and extenuates the second property and the customer views it much better than it actually is.

Car dealers are taught to always negotiate the base (sticker price) of the car before selling options (tinted windows, sunroof, alloys etc) because the cost of £780 for tinted windows seems miniscule compared to the £18,000 which has been agreed for the car.

Similarly department store sales staffs are trained to offer you an additional £60 silk tie after the sale of £600 suit.

Overpriced deserts and drinks at restaurants work on the same principle.

Here is the kicker!

Sara Gutierres, Ph.D., and Douglas Kenrick, Ph.D conducted a series of experiments where male college students were offered a photo of a potential blind date candidate of average attractiveness. If the men were watching “Charlie’s Angels” the photo appeared to be less desirable (then it actually was) to the point where men wouldn’t bother for a date which was available to them. The glamour girls of “Charlie’s Angels” were to blame because they made average attractiveness look mediocre.

We (as Muslims) are bombarded by men and women of “perfect figures” by the media, what do you think it’s doing to our relationships? For men, Allah (SWT) says in the Qur’aan:

[3:14] It has been made attractive for people to love the desired things; that is, women, children, hoarded heaps of gold and silver, branded horses, cattle and tillage. That is an enjoyment of the worldly life; but with Allah lies the beauty of the final resort.

Women are a source of attraction for men to begin with but when the “curvy beauties of the screen” are watched with intent then the perfectly attractive Sunnah loving home wife won’t seem so attractive anymore.

Hollywood or Bollywood, movies, drams, soaps and songs will inevitably downgrade your spouse because Shaytaan is there to exploit the “Law of Contrast” and make the “curvy beauties of the screen” appear much more sensual and attractive than they actually are. Similar is the concept of “intellectual superiority” where the well rehearsed Pundit on the media will make your own spouse look inferior then they really are.

Islamic Tele-evangelism, Nasheed concerts and pop culture are also nothing but deadly to our Islamic ideology while thinly disguised as “Islamic events”. And then we have the massive “Islamic conferences” where speakers are flown in from overseas paid megabucks and housed in 5-star accommodations to deliver “Islamic talks” to thousands of fans.

Where are we heading with all of this?

In our communities, how many of us have heard stories of marital breakdowns where the spouse is deemed to be “physically unattractive” or “intellectually inferior” while we scratch our heads and say, “There isn’t a lot wrong with him or her!”.

Can the “Law of contrast ” be discounted in the breakdown of Muslim family epidemic which every community is experiencing?

Fortunately, the Qur’aan gives solid advice to limit the damage as follows:

Guard your gaze: The poison of “contrast” enters your heart and mind through your eyes so the Qur’aan commands the first barrier to be placed on the sight:
[24:30] Tell the believing men that they must lower their gazes and guard their private parts; it is more decent for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

[24:31] And tell the believing women that they must lower their gazes…

2. Dolled up Hijabees & Macho Bearded men: How many times have you been to the Masjid and noticed “dolled up Hijabi Sisters” with layers upon layers of makeup and skin tight clothes OR men with tight clothes to show their bodies which they have worked tirelessly at the gym for weeks on end? These “creatures of self-indulgence” must be told that they are committing Haram while enticing others.

[24:31] ….and guard their private parts, and must not expose their adornment, except that which appears thereof, and must wrap their bosoms with their shawls, and must not expose their adornment, except to their husbands or their fathers or the fathers of their husbands, or to their sons or the sons of their husbands, or to their brothers or the sons of their brothers or the sons of their sisters, or to their women, or to those owned by their right hands, or male attendants having no (sexual) urge, or to the children who are not yet conscious of the shames of women. And let them not stamp their feet in a way that the adornment they conceal is known. And repent to Allah O believers, all of you, so that you may achieve success.

3. Thanking Allah (SWT): Next time your spouse does something which pleases you don’t forget to “Thank Allah (SWT)”.

[14:7] (Recall the time) when your Lord declared, .If you express gratitude, I shall certainly give you more, and if you are ungrateful, then My punishment is severe.

4. Mr Perfect & Miss Right? There is a saying “Nobody is perfect” but it’s time to implement it. Next time you are searching for perfection in your spouse, direct that gaze to yourself instead and follow the command of Allah (SWT) for the “dear wife”:

[4:19] O you who believe, it is not lawful for you that you should forcibly take women as inheritance. Do not hold on to them so that you may take away some of what you have given them, unless they commit a clearly shameful act. Live with them in the recognized manner. If you dislike them, then it is quite likely that you dislike something and Allah has placed a lot of good in it.

So before reaching for that remote control next time remember what it’s doing to your relationship!

Jamiat ULAMA

The real