It may look like a healthy new way of eating or a different way of perceiving your life. It may feel like an exciting adventure or a tenuous trek into uncharted territory.

But one thing is sure. When you’re involved in a genuine healing process, there’s going to be change. And where there is change, there is conflict.

Now this isn’t really such a bad thing. It’s more about your expectation.
It would be really tempting to think like “oh, I’m going to change my whole life tomorrow and everything is going to be just so wonnnnnderful!”

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Well it will. Eventually. But between where you are today and where you’ll be tomorrow, there’s naturally going to be an adjustment phase. As long as you’re prepared for it, everything will be fine.

You had your life set up a certain way. It worked for you. You knew what to expect from yourself and the people around you. Your friends and family knew what to expect from you. Everyone was comfy - cozy with things exactly as they were.

Except…

That way of doing things set you up for an unintended result. In the field of medicine, they call it a “side effect.” We call it something that isn’t working for you so well.

Whatever it may be … a few extra pounds, a way of being in relationship with your spouse, a way of handling your finances … your comfy - cozy pattern created it. And now you’re motivated to go after a different result.

Causing a different result means you’ll be doing a few things differently.

Until you get used to the switch, it’s going to conflict with your comfy-cozy habits. It’s just how things work! Here are some examples:

You take a self-test for carbohydrate sensitivity and discover you’ve got all the symptoms. They are symptoms you don’t like, such as weighing more than you want, sore muscles, and fuzzy thinking.

You decide to try a food program that emphasizes more veggies, proteins, and complex carbs and less of the other stuff.

Day one and it’s time for breakfast. You normally have a bagel. You like bagels. They’re easy to get from the shop in the lobby. You get a warm, fuzzy, comfy-cozy feeling from eating bagels.

After all, you’ve gotta reward yourself for dragging in to work, don’t you? But bagels aren’t on the program.

Darn! What now? Your Inner Saboteur chimes in, “Maybe we should just start tomorrow…”

You recognize that your habit of overworking has got you worn out and drained of energy. Your immune function is low, you’re exhausted, and life feels like way more effort than you think it should. You put yourself on a program to lighten up and enjoy life! You’re gonna leave work at 5:00. No exceptions!

First, you sign up for yoga. That’s Mondays and Thursdays. Then on Tuesdays, painting class sounds like fun. That leaves Wednesdays, so you join a dart league with Carol from accounting.

Friday is reserved for ‘the hubs.’ You can take care of housework on Saturday, and with church Sunday morning, it looks like you’ll have Sunday afternoon completely free. All right!

Quick question. Doesn’t anything about this feel vaguely familiar? Comfy-cozy-like? Uh-huh. Let’s revisit your schedule.

See here’s the thing. When you propose to change something, the very first thing you’re likely to do is run headfirst into the old habit. Now you could sit around and wait for that to happen.

Get all bummed out. Throw up your hands. Quit. Say it doesn’t work or you can’t do it.

Or you could set an expectation from the beginning that you’re likely to run into a few assumptions about life that will have to be worked through.

Challenging your previous assumptions may not seem so comfy-cozy in the moment, but it will benefit you in the long run. You could even look for them.

Yep, look for them.

It’s easy to do. Any good project planner or problem solver will tell you that the best way to see new solutions is to stand at the point of where you intend to be and look backwards to where you are now, observing what happens along the way.

If you’ve never tried this before, it can be life-changing.

But there’s also value in doing it the “old” way. Stand exactly where you are, plug in the new “rules” and, in your imagination, look forward. See what bumps you in the nose. Like a cinnamon-raisin bagel or your over-packed schedule.

It’s an information-gathering exercise. Once you know where your challenges lie, you can come up with strategies to get past them. Pack a low-carb breakfast the night before. Enlist a friend to check you on your plans for the week.

It’s all about the expectation. If you expect you’ll never have another thought of doing things the way you’ve done them for the last 20 years, you’ll run into frustration and disappointment when it inevitably happens.

If you look to the future with the expectation of having a few little bumps to climb over, you’ll be ready to negotiate the change with a minimum of trouble.

You’ll be prepped, proactive, and ready for the journey. It’ll probably even be fun!
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