She was no girl...
...she was my sister

THE MAIDEN VISITATION CHANGED
©Jessica Duru
UNEDITED

JUST_A_SHORT_STORY

A soft tap came on the window as I laid on the sofa, with my head turned to the side. Raising it up a bit, partly turning, I checked to see who it was but found no one instead, groaning furiously at the thought. Who’d be playing such tricks this morning? An outrageous knock on the front door came right next, jolting me; the harsh ringing of the doorbell following, prompting me to stand.

The lightbulbs flickered and another knock came on the door as I made to open it. Thinking for a while, while running my hand on the doorknob, I breathed a sigh and opened it, seeing no one but a dusty old scarf—I arched my brows and bent to pick it, taking a close look at it as I found myself saying it was my mother’s. Mom’s old scarf? I couldn’t help but marvel. It’s been years! I shut the door immediately and walked back to the sofa. Observing it again, I noticed the slight tear along with the tip. The tip had some red mark. Must have been stained, I said to myself. I ran my fingers on it, bringing it closer to see. Hm. Paint—I thought with a shrug, wiping my fingers on my pants. Another knock came interrupting; one so light. No sound came, making me stand again. “Who is there?” the awkward silence sent icy chills. A ghost—my mind pulled up suddenly. I was scared to think it was one. A ghost certainly wouldn’t knock, would it? I tried to drive the crazy thoughts out. My poor frozen spine had already glued me to the spot, with the flickering bulbs sending millions of bumps all over me.

Tap—tap—

This time I knew for sure that someone was at the door. Wasting no time to open it, I saw my sister Sequil; her hair wet and dripping, with her face all white. She walked in shakily, acting like one who had witnessed a horrifying scene.

I asked if she was feeling well, and why she hadn’t left with the others. Before then, Mom told me they were going to Brazil. They were going to celebrate Christmas there. They wouldn’t leave Sequil behind, would they? I knew for sure they wouldn’t. “Seq, talk to me,” I urged after much thoughts. “Talk to me. Why aren’t you with Mom? Is everything okay? Are they alright?” I asked simultaneously, wanting her to talk. She could only stare while I went on. The sight of her hair being wet made me question even more. “Sequil—” I stopped, knowing this wasn’t my sister. Sequil was a jolly girl who’d talk at every chance. “Sequil!” I called louder, not bearing it. Sequil uttered no word but kept shivering. Touching her, wanting to make sure it was really her, the coldness of her body sent gazillions of chills through me, as I shuddered and withdrew my palm.

My sister… as cold as ice? The realization made me panic; all I could think of was to call our family doctor. “Sequil, we have to call Dr. Ben,” I shivered as I spoke. “You’re freaking freezing.” Sequil said no word but rose to her feet.

Dismayed—filled with wonderment, I watched as she walked to the guest bathroom, seeing her enter slowly; she shut the door and then came a ring. “What’s wrong with Sequil?” I thought aloud and turned in the direction of my phone. Seeing Mom’s name on the screen, I was happy at least, quickly taking it up from the sofa; her voice coming in at my thumb’s command. “Johnpaul, your sister is dead!” the last thing I wanted to hear came in. “A car crashed into the backseat on our way to the airport—” she whimpered as she said. Immediately, my mind flashed to the girl in the bathroom. MY SISTER IS DEAD—

.

.

.

HAPPY SUNDAY, GUYS

I will fight with you this geh.. why is it short na na when e come dey sweet you come kill am chai! Can you make heaven like this?

I hope this won't be another half written story

Haykinx98:
I hope this won't be another half written story

All my stories are completed, dear. Except the new one I started. This is also completed. That's why I added 'JUST A SHORT STORY.'

Haykinx98
Oh... u said half? Those stories you're seeing in halves... I removed them a long time so people would buy. They were completed be4... had to take 'em down.

dodoatirice:
I will fight with you this geh.. why is it short na na when e come dey sweet you come kill am chai! Can you make heaven like this?

Lolzzzz. I'm so sorry. So sorry. Don't worry. Married to an atheist would be just how you guys like it

dodoatirice:
I will fight with you this geh.. why is it short na na when e come dey sweet you come kill am chai! Can you make heaven like this?

I'll make heaven ooo. Lolzzz

Jaylynn:


All my stories are completed, dear. Except the new one I started. This is also completed. That's why I added 'JUST A SHORT STORY.'

Oh okay
Ride on

Haykinx98:

Oh okay
Ride on

You mean 'ride on'?

Let me grap a sit, near intro Ma'am. That name johnpaul made me remember nollywood movie back in the good old day...

Since front roll don full, make I carry my popcorn and wine to the back seat. Fire on J.

Lakesc:
Let me grap a sit, near intro Ma'am. That name johnpaul made me remember nollywood movie back in the good old day...

Lolzz. Awwn, really?

enirock:
Since front roll don full, make I carry my popcorn and wine to the back seat. Fire on J.

Lolzz. Hope you kept my popcorn for me?

Your story line is quite good. Why don't you develop it into a novel and get it published. Who knows, you might even get a movie deal out of it.
But you still need to sharpen your writing skills though. Your writing is too descriptive. In none fiction writing, you don't need too much description. Just make your scenes come alive in the readers mind. In other words, don't tell - show.

minks:
Your story line is quite good. Why don't you develop it into a novel and get it published. Who knows, you might even get a movie deal out of it.
But you still need to sharpen your writing skills though. Your writing is too descriptive. In none fiction writing, you don't need too much description. Just make your scenes come alive in the readers mind. In other words, don't tell - show.

Yup. I'm still working on that. Really. That's why I've been writing more these days.

minks:
Your story line is quite good. Why don't you develop it into a novel and get it published. Who knows, you might even get a movie deal out of it.
But you still need to sharpen your writing skills though. Your writing is too descriptive. In none fiction writing, you don't need too much description. Just make your scenes come alive in the readers mind. In other words, don't tell - show.

Oh, and thank you. You know, with school and other things, I just try to write short stories and avoid long. But I'll take your advice and make a book out of it one day. Well, by God's grace .

Thanks again, Sir. I really appreciate.

Jaylynn:



Oh, and thank you. You know, with school and other things, I just try to write short stories and avoid long. But I'll take your advice and make a book out of it one day. Well, by God's grace .

Thanks again, Sir. I really appreciate.

You're welcome.
If you ever wish to publish on Amazon and need help, don't hesitate to ask me.
You can take a look at my books through the link on my signature.
It's good to know you're combining studies and writing. Keep it up, the sky is your limit.

minks:


You're welcome.
If you ever wish to publish on Amazon and need help, don't hesitate to ask me.
You can take a look at my books through the link on my signature.
It's good to know you're combining studies and writing. Keep it up, the sky is your limit.

Oh, thank you, Sir. Thank you so much. Thank you. You really have no idea how grateful I am. Thanks so much...

Jaylynn:



Lolzz. Hope you kept my popcorn for me?

You are welcome to all the popcorn in the bowl.