Why Is It Better To Be A Woman - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by olawalebabs(m): 2:45pm On Jun 22, 2011 |
WHY IT IS BETTER TO BE A WOMAN! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. We can cry easily and get out of police trouble. 4. We have never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 5. Men die earlier than we do, so we get to cash on their life insurance. 6. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 7. We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves as men do. 8. If we are dumb, some people will find it cute. 9. Free drinks, free dinners, free movies (you get the point). 10. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 11. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we are gay. 13. Our friends won’t think we are weird if we ask whether there is spinach in our teeth. 14. Our boyfriends’ clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 15. Taxis stop for us. 16. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we look like an idiot. 17. We can fully assess a person by looking at their shoes. 18. We’ll never regret piercing our ears. 19. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 20. We never have to reach down so often to make sure our privates are still there. 21. We have enough sense to realise that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Kunbee: 10:39pm On Jun 23, 2011 |
What about men? Lets be fair  |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by olawalebabs(m): 6:00am On Jun 24, 2011 |
I dont mind if you provide it. |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by mikuz(m): 1:20pm On Jun 24, 2011 |
Yeah kunbee don't be a coward,take the shot! |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by olawalebabs(m): 2:16pm On Jun 24, 2011 |
mikuz:atleast we are on the same line for the first time |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Kunbee: 12:57am On Jun 25, 2011 |
How does my bravery have to do with the issue at hand?  Ola since you are the jokester i expected you to have the male version |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by mikuz(m): 1:05am On Jun 25, 2011 |
^ so ola go marry wife for you and help you impregnate her abi? |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by olawalebabs(m): 4:54am On Jun 25, 2011 |
No problem, coming up with the male version soon |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by mikuz(m): 10:54am On Jun 25, 2011 |
^ i smell partiality! |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by EfemenaXY: 2:12pm On Jun 25, 2011 |
Interesting thread eagerly awaiting Part 2  |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Kunbee: 10:49pm On Jun 25, 2011 |
Wassup? |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by EfemenaXY: 2:26pm On Jun 26, 2011 |
^^ Lady K longest time - how body? |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Kunbee: 10:38pm On Jun 26, 2011 |
Am good my wife Fine o, been a lil busy and when i came back  , i am still lost sha |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 11:48am On Jun 27, 2011 |
 Nice thread, got me Laffing Maybe i help out wiv the Men Version i.e Part 2  |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 12:05pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
Our a*s*s is never a factor in a job interview. Our orgasms are real always. Our last name stays put. The garage is all ours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. We can be presidents. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell us the truth. We don't give a heck if someone notices our new haircut. If we retain water, it's in a canteen. You can open all your own jars. You never have to drive to another gas station b'cos this one's just "too icky."?? Same work . . . more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding Dress €5,000; Tux rental €100.  People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood, ALL the damn time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can leave the motel bed unmade. You can kill your own food. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is €8.95 for a three-pack. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me." You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You don't have to shave below your neck. 0ne wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. You can do your nails with a pocketknife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on December 24th in 45 minutes. The world is your urinal |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by mikuz(m): 12:24pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
Hahahaha el guapo! "people never stare at your chest when you are talking to them" my favourite! |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by angelz(f): 12:26pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
@ El guapo. really? |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 12:26pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
We Are the Hero In Titanic Do we have to check on Menses We dont have to be too Religious, we've got wives representing us at Church We can always pull off our soccer jersey while celebrating a Goal We are never at risk of a Miscarriage |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 12:35pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
mikuz: Lol Why would u stare at a barechest that ve got no bumps, u know what i mean angelz: Ofcourse Yes Dear, Or u wanna prove me wrong? |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by mikuz(m): 1:15pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
El guapo! More please! Am just feeling you badly! More and more! Make it rain! |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 1:29pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
mikuz: Mikuz wetin naa?? Jxt Chill i go post more but no dey scream like to be say u be ma wife, abeg u |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by angelz(f): 1:40pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
@ El guapo. l can prove u wrong in many ways. l'l jus mentioned 1. ladies bare dia breast anywhere dis days, D areas were guys cant even dare to bare, ladies r into it. |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 2:25pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
^Lollz, now Angel, El needs an instance Part 3[/b]A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, Male and Female procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender. [b]Male Procedure: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. Female Procedure: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 4. Tell person on mobile 'phone you will call them back and hang up. Attempt to insert card into machine. 5. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. Insert card. 6. Re-insert card the right way. 7. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 8. Enter PIN. 9. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 10. Enter amount of cash required. 11. Take a quick peek at yourself in rear view mirror. 12. Retrieve cash and receipt 13. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 14. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. 15. Re-check makeup. 16. Drive forward 2 feet. 17. Reverse back to cash machine. 18. Retrieve card. 19. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided. 20. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you 21. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 22. Redial person on cell phone. 23. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 24. Release Parking Brake. |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by mikuz(m): 7:27pm On Jun 27, 2011 |
El guapo! Nothing do you! |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 1:37am On Jun 28, 2011 |
**Whispers to Mukiz** Papi Something do me o, my wife seems to be gerrin the better of me in bed of lately, lot of concerns mountaining  |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by olawalebabs(m): 5:48am On Jun 28, 2011 |
Soo! But you are talking to the wrong person. He will just , |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 5:55am On Jun 28, 2011 |
Just do what?? Let him dare go near my pregnant Wife, i will jxt delete his Young moses |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by olawalebabs(m): 6:34am On Jun 28, 2011 |
I for like that, so all the mouth go dey shot. |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 6:52am On Jun 28, 2011 |
Trust me!! With the latest advert of Ipad 7 on Oprah n Cnn, that guy's Holy mallam is at risk! Oh i love technology!! |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by seemyown: 8:05am On Jun 28, 2011 |
9ija man trying to avoid paying doctor fee after eye operation by saying, "I still can't see" Dr. asks a sexy nurse to UnCloth in front of him. He again says "I cant see" Dr. tells nurse to open her legs. Again he says "I can't see" Dr. says : "{mother fuker}!! if you can't see, how come your dick is standing? Lol |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by Nobody: 8:50am On Jun 28, 2011 |
Lmao. . .nice One Seemyown |
| Re: Why Is It Better To Be A Woman by olawalebabs(m): 11:52am On Jun 28, 2011 |
ija man trying to avoid paying doctor fee after eye operation by saying, "I still can't see" Dr. asks a sexy nurse to UnCloth in front of him. He again says "I cant see" Dr. tells nurse to open her legs. Again he says "I can't see" Dr. says : "{mother fuker}!! if you can't see, how come your Joystick is standing? LoYeah. I can laugh |
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