| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Vyvyanvyvy: 10:39am On Feb 10, 2022 |
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. 14 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Ulunne777(f): 11:51am On Feb 10, 2022 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. E be like say na werey I'm be.Tell him to go to hell.Arrant nonsense.I hope there are recordings and texts kept safely to nail him Kids with both parents alive,strong and healthy to be boothed off to another person maka gini? Contact your state welfare Asap.He needs to be caught before leaving the country. 7 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Nobody: 12:06pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
. 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Kobojunkie: 12:14pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. Again,You should have already been to the courts long before this to file that the man be made to pay child support for the children, whether he wants to stay in contact with them or not. Please talk to a lawyer as soon as today and see if you can get the man's contact information in Italy to see if it is possible for the courts to bill him for the care of the kids no matter where he runs off to.  So long as the children are his, he owes them child support and that is their right as children. Run go see a lawyer asap and don't miss any opportunity to get paid back for all he has owed them for the last 9 years. That money could contribute to their schooling as well.
He had money to build himself a house in all that time but none to care for the children he sired over 9 years ago. Now he wants you, after 9 years to give up custody of the children before he can pay you you support for the same kids. I don't understand what exactly you have been waiting for all this while and even now. Please explain to us what exactly it is that has kept you from engaging the help of a lawyer in all this time abeg? 4 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Ulunne777(f): 12:34pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
He has money to build a house and even his family couldn't send anything to this poor woman all these while.
Where are the nl males who said contact his father;Is it this one ?
You just creep out of nowhere after 9 yrs to come and lay conditions.See his mouth (100% indeed).The sister is just trying to get her own share of his money and having those children will help.
Ndi ara everywhere! 7 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Foodqueen(f): 1:42pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
That guy de mad 2000%. Give up the children u didn't give up for your marriage  Tell him I said, he is very stupid. Did he have an ideal what u went through with your ex cos of them U deserve some accolades. 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Saintmary(f): 1:53pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Hey guys I need your advice please
In brief I am a mother of 4 children and my two oldest children father have been abroad for almost 9 years he has abandoned the children, he hasn't sent a kobo for their upkeep for all these years nor a phone call to know about their health. He returned back this January and he messaged me few weeks ago on Facebook ( I have been using my Facebook since 2008 with my real names) he requested for my number because he want us to meet with him to discussed about the children. I ignored the message because I think if my children had survived 9 years without him and they will survive more years to come without him. He messaged me three more times the last one was yesterday he said he is going back to Italy next week Tuesday if I miss this opportunity to meet up with him . he will never bother me again and my children will hate me for keeping them away from him.
Please am I wrong for not wanting him to see the children This is a serious matter if you have nothing good to say please skip my post Your feelings are valid. However, if you feel that you can't support your kids by yourself, let him help you. But a sensible man should seek you out, not send facebook messages. I don't know how so many women tolerate these shitty treatments from men. Modified: Whaaaaaaaat? I went though your previous posts and I'm so shocked at what you've had to go through. KEEP YOUR KIDS WITH YOU!!!! That man is horrible. Gosh, don't even talk to him. Keep the number blocked. Call your kids and explain everything to them, then meuuuuve. 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Richy4(m): 2:47pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. Thanks for the Update.... Just do what's on your mind... The good head that you have kept all these years taking care of those kids will guide you... Good luck dear...Just keep on believing in yourself.. 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by eniolorunfe: 5:23pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. Chimo!!!!  What did I just read? Pls contact a lawyer ASAP!!! This man thinks taking care of his children is a choice. Set up a meeting to meet with him but make sure you go with your lawyer and do not let him know you are coming to see him with a lawyer. He must not escape back to wherever he crawled out from without starting to pay his dues including the 9 years arrears… 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Double0h7(f): 6:06pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
This woman has really tried for her kids. Don't block him just give him your response and keep it moving. I say don't block because he might bring a better offer to the table when you reject this one. Keep all doors open because you don't know what God has in store for you. |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Kobojunkie: 6:08pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
eniolorunfe:
Chimo!!!!
What did I just read?
Pls contact a lawyer ASAP!!! This man thinks taking care of his children is a choice.
Set up a meeting to meet with him but make sure you go with your lawyer and do not let him know you are coming to see him with a lawyer. He must not escape back to wherever he crawled out from without starting to pay his dues including the 9 years arrears… Exactlcally! 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Pearl05(f): 6:32pm On Feb 10, 2022 |
Why are some people so so mean and selfish?
A woman that gave up so much for her kids for 9 yrs suddenly couldn't be able to look after them properly because you want to start bringing some cash for their upkeep?
This man don't want your other kids to benefit from the peanuts he want to send actually and prefers to send them to his sister.
To hell with him and his proposal. 4 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by signature2012(m): 3:24am On Feb 11, 2022 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. Reading this updated part of your story really touched me. I feel like crying,no I shed some tears.This is a PTSD to me. Being created as a male shouldn’t be reason to make the female gender suffer or pass through hell. Some men are useless,demonic and disgusting! Can’t imagine father of your kids telling you to send the kids to his sister,otherwise he won’t take care of them. Well,I know a man suffering terribly because of this act. In his mind,he had believed this Yoruba adage that says”Komo ba da gba,abere baba e”(I am not Yoruba). Guess what?He his beyond disappointment! I pray God see you through and send helpers your way. 4 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Eketem: 3:37am On Feb 11, 2022 |
Chai you should have gone to see him since.
It is not about you but the kids and their welfare, they deserve both parents regardless of what happened.
You should have had a lawyer draft an agreement for you both to sign on support owed and the one he will pay in future so if he defaults you can take legal action.
Anyway it is not too late. Please take the kids along, it will be unfair not to see their dad |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Eketem: 3:39am On Feb 11, 2022 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. He can't take the kids from you and give his sister no law allows that. Again go with a lawyer, let him pay the one he owes and the one for the future. You should have gone to court since 1 Like |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by PROPHETmichael: 1:56pm On Feb 23, 2023 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Hey guys I need your advice please
In brief I am a mother of 4 children and my two oldest children father have been abroad for almost 9 years he has abandoned the children, he hasn't sent a kobo for their upkeep for all these years nor a phone call to know about their health. He returned back this January and he messaged me few weeks ago on Facebook ( I have been using my Facebook since 2008 with my real names) he requested for my number because he want us to meet with him to discussed about the children. I ignored the message because I think if my children had survived 9 years without him and they will survive more years to come without him. He messaged me three more times the last one was yesterday he said he is going back to Italy next week Tuesday if I miss this opportunity to meet up with him . he will never bother me again and my children will hate me for keeping them away from him.
Please am I wrong for not wanting him to see the children This is a serious matter if you have nothing good to say please skip my post PM me and I'll take it from there prophetically to reveal the heart and the intentions of the man. |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by MrTed(m): 3:36pm On Feb 23, 2023 |
It's understandable that you may have mixed feelings about allowing your children's father back into their lives after he has been absent for such a long time and has not contributed to their upbringing or well-being. It's important to prioritize your children's safety and well-being above all else and consider what is in their best interest.
It's also understandable that you may feel hesitant about meeting up with him in person, especially if you have concerns about his intentions or if he has not been involved in their lives for a significant amount of time. You have the right to protect yourself and your children, and it's important to trust your instincts and do what you believe is best for your family.
If you do decide to allow him back into your children's lives, it's important to set boundaries and expectations, and to communicate openly and honestly with him about your concerns and what you expect from him as a parent. You may also want to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor to help you navigate this difficult situation and support you and your children through the process. |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Ishilove: 8:56pm On Feb 23, 2023 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. This lady you are iron.  |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by thejourney200: 9:22pm On Feb 23, 2023 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Thank you everyone for your advice. Just to update you . I sent him my number yesterday and he called few hours later we had discussed about the meeting and children arrangement and I couldn't believe my ears when he said he want to support his children 100% but he want them to start staying with his sister in the house he built where his sister is staying with her family because inhave other children and he don't want me to neglect his children needs because of my other children, he want his sister to train them so I can focus on my other children . He ask to meet today and he want me to give the children to his sister this Sunday he will do everything for them. I didn't want to be rude and I told him I will think about it and will give the answer today when we meet. Which will never happen I will not give them away , the same sister that haven't bother to look for them for 9 years and why would I give her my children for. I have blocked him already it is not worth me wasting my time with them. He isn't ready yet. You don't have to block him, pick his calls and let him know your stance. |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by Kobojunkie: 11:48pm On Feb 23, 2023 |
thejourney200:
He isn't ready yet. You don't have to block him, pick his calls and let him know your stance. She did the right thing by blocking his calls. When he is ready to take care of his own kids rather than offload them like cargo on to someone else, he will know how to get in touch with her then. 2 Likes |
| Re: Am I Right Or Wrong by laluski(m): 12:17am On Feb 24, 2023 |
Vyvyanvyvy:
Hey guys I need your advice please
In brief I am a mother of 4 children and my two oldest children father have been abroad for almost 9 years he has abandoned the children, he hasn't sent a kobo for their upkeep for all these years nor a phone call to know about their health. He returned back this January and he messaged me few weeks ago on Facebook ( I have been using my Facebook since 2008 with my real names) he requested for my number because he want us to meet with him to discussed about the children. I ignored the message because I think if my children had survived 9 years without him and they will survive more years to come without him. He messaged me three more times the last one was yesterday he said he is going back to Italy next week Tuesday if I miss this opportunity to meet up with him . he will never bother me again and my children will hate me for keeping them away from him.
Please am I wrong for not wanting him to see the children This is a serious matter if you have nothing good to say please skip my post Meet with him and see what he has to say... It won't remove anything from you.. all that he said about the kids growing up and blaming you is pure trash.. When you meet him and all he's saying is not palatable to you... Get up and go... Simple |
