pocohantas:


You are still deflecting because no part of my posts has encouraged her to get a divorce from her husband. Quote me when you activate the content of your skull. Hopefully it is a brain, not noodles.

So, why are you against my initial post? My post was against divorce.

Poco, no one is the reason why you're unmarried at old age. Don't discourage younger women from staying married.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

brokenheart1234:
So, I have been able to save some money from my little business and I'm thinking of getting an accommodation for myself.
The present accommodation is not conducive and I can't keep living like this, especially with my husband who doesn't understand all the sacrifice I'm making for him.
His salary, can provide us more beautiful life but it's not possible because he's into sport betting. Family members have advised him, he claimed, he's a change person, but he's not.
I don't want to keep living like this. It's obvious that his gambling lifestyle is difficult to stop and it's not healthy for me right now.
He always come back to appologies after he's done wasting all his salaries. Because he will need to put his feeding and transportation expenses on me.

In few weeks, I'll put to birth. I'm really scared, not happy and nothing is giving me strength here.
I just want to successfully give birth and talk about divorce later.
What would you advise?
I want to move to a nice appartment without him.
What do you think about what I want to do?

I know u will not tell us d truth. If u want better future for your children u better stay with him. Women shaa. If u don't have small money dat is deceiving u,u will not say u will leave your husband or if your husband is rich

pocohantas:


And drop their account numbers everywhere to gamble yet again. Yet they say gambling is not a problem. Retards.

Many choose to live in denial that gambling disorder is a mental health issue.

Zonefree:

So, why are you against my initial post? My post was against divorce.

Poco, no one is the reason why you're unmarried at old age. Don't discourage younger women from staying married.

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Deflections once again. Your initial post was anti-divorce. However, in your usual manner, you failed to address the issue at hand. Instead you created your own issue to cast aspersions at the wife that has done her best to shoulder financial responsibilities resulting from her husband’s gambling addiction.

My singlehood as an evening newspaper isn’t the premise of this thread. That is why I have wilfully ignored it and focused on the topic. If you want to discuss that, you might have to create a thread on it.

You can choose not to enjoy your evening.

Regards

Mindlog:

Many choose to live in denial that gambling disorder is a mental health issue.

A very big mental disorder. I would be very wary of anyone into that lifestyle.

Get your own apartment for your peace of mind, you cannot help an addict to change except he is willing to change.

Gainman:
I know u will not tell us d truth. If u want better future for your children u better stay with him. Women shaa. If u don't have small money dat is deceiving u,u will not say u will leave your husband or if your husband is rich

what truth? Why did you comment without reading my post? Did I tell you my husband is broke and doesn't have a well paying job? Did I tell you I'm richer than him?

pocohantas:


Well said. She should go to his parents house or her own parents. Not to rush and rent another apartment.

Abi o....let them see what is happening and draw his ears wella.

sisisioge:


Abi o....let them see what is happening and draw his ears wella.

Correct!!! Let them see what is happening. They would also be feeding her on behalf of their son. He can come pay visits every weekend until he has sense. Rent which new house?

Gainman:
I know u will not tell us d truth. If u want better future for your children u better stay with him.

Women shaa, if u don't have small money dat is deceiving u,u will not say u will leave your husband or if your husband is rich

Explain exactly how staying with a chronic gambler enables a better future for the children, explain with details pls, I want to tap into this new found wisdom.

The other bolded part of your comment shows you have deep rooted poverty of the mind, you need help.

sisisioge:


Abi o....let them see what is happening and draw his ears wella.

Drawing his ear is not needed anymore. Because everybody's advise always fall on his deaf ear.

The way I love my husband and his gambling attitude, makes love look like a fairy tale.

I'm beginning to detect him more and more.

I feel I need my own apartment to stay comfortable, so i don't inconvenient anybody.

pocohantas:


Correct!!! Let them see what is happening. They would also be feeding her on behalf of their son. He can come pay visits every weekend until he has sense. Rent which new house?

His parents, stays in the village. I can't go and live there.

brokenheart1234:
His parents, stays in the village. I can't go and live there.

Okay. You should let them know of the situation. Hopefully you have good in-laws that like you.

- Let your parents know.
- Let his parents know.
- Move to a family members place.

Whatever you do, don’t rent a new place.

Do it

brokenheart1234:
So, I have been able to save some money from my little business and I'm thinking of getting an accommodation for myself.
The present accommodation is not conducive and I can't keep living like this, especially with my husband who doesn't understand all the sacrifice I'm making for him.
His salary, can provide us more beautiful life but it's not possible because he's into sport betting. Family members have advised him, he claimed, he's a change person, but he's not.
I don't want to keep living like this. It's obvious that his gambling lifestyle is difficult to stop and it's not healthy for me right now.
He always come back to appologies after he's done wasting all his salaries. Because he will need to put his feeding and transportation expenses on me.

In few weeks, I'll put to birth. I'm really scared, not happy and nothing is giving me strength here.
I just want to successfully give birth and talk about divorce later.
What would you advise?
I want to move to a nice appartment without him.
What do you think about what I want to do?

pocohantas:


A very big mental disorder. I would be very wary of anyone into that lifestyle.

One of the hardest addictions to kick is gambling. And smoking

Mindlog:

Many choose to live in denial that gambling disorder is a mental health issue.

It’s ranked high up on the addiction list with smoking and alcohol addiction. People really think it’s a small thing and you can just decide not to gamble.
Once that gambling habit hooks your brain and feeds your neurotransmitter receptors , it’s over.
Gamblers will borrow from the devil and pledge their first born children as repayment just to get a kick of that gambling high.

sisisioge:
No need to get apartment, move to his parent's, yours or siblings for maximum embarrassment, good intervention and to get help when the baby comes. No need to get apartment. The dude will probably come and camp at your new place begging and crying as usual. It is well.

you have a point

brokenheart1234:
Drawing his ear is not needed anymore. Because everybody's advise always fall on his deaf ear.

The way I love my husband and his gambling attitude, makes love look like a fairy tale.

I'm beginning to detect him more and more.

I feel I need my own apartment to stay comfortable, so i don't inconvenient anybody.

I understand you well but you most likely will be doing yourself a disservice if you get the apartment right away. He would think you have money to support yourself and the kid anyways and do not need his money. Very counterproductive to your quest of making him responsible.

But moving to his parent's would make your trouble their trouble too....they would do beyond talking to him. The act will be a ruder awakening to him. They would also help you care for your baby and might eventually contribute to your new apartment if all fails. Honestly, sometimes it is better to act vulnerable to get better result. Afterall, the pool just hit the fan... biko do not unnecessarily shield other critical stakeholders.

Your poor baby....chai. Hope you're resting well. No go complicate matter for your pregnancy o.

burritto:
Do what your heart feels and what makes you happy. You don’t have to post everything on Nairaland

she have to post it it's not an easy decision leaving a boy friend is not easy talk more of husband.

brokenheart1234:
His parents, stays in the village. I can't go and live there.

Chai....this is a bummer! So sorry. It is well.

pocohantas:


Deflections once again. Your initial post was anti-divorce. However, in your usual manner, you failed to address the issue at hand. Instead you created your own issue to cast aspersions at the wife that has done her best to shoulder financial responsibilities resulting from her husband’s gambling addiction.

My singlehood as an evening newspaper isn’t the premise of this thread. That is why I have wilfully ignored it and focused on the topic. If you want to discuss that, you might have to create a thread on it.

You can choose not to enjoy your evening.

Regards

Killer response .


Hehehehe

Gainman:
I know u will not tell us d truth. If u want better future for your children u better stay with him. Women shaa. If u don't have small money dat is deceiving u,u will not say u will leave your husband or if your husband is rich

How do children benefit from a father who is a pathological gambler, please do share.

Stay there and be pandering to his whims and caprices, thinking that you are doing him some good without knowing that you are aiding and abetting his stupidity while jeopardizing your sanity and both of you destroying your lives in general at the same time.

He is akin to a special needs person. So, you must use an intentional genuine (yet hurtful) act like this one you have hatched (although he can easily capitalize on that one to ruin you) to jolt him to reality, and you will see him sit up by force unless you have never had an atom of influence over him, or he has never always placed any value on the union, in which case, you can go for an extended separation.

doggedfighter:


Killer response .


Hehehehe

I wonder what he hoped to achieve with the steady reminder.

her husband loves her, he is only addicted to something, which he has been even before they said I DO.
she should find away around it , with love and respect.
her husband will change, it's not by gra gra .

garriAndsugar:

It's like you want to add domestic violence to the gambling problem

Acidbath:


Sh1t talk. I am sure you are a gambler.

Gambling is not bad,it's only when someone is addicted.life itself is a gamble

brokenheart1234:
Our present appartment has no water close by and has no light. I'm managing things I shouldn't with a husband who don't even know the sacrifice? Not because we can't afford a good one but because he wouldn't make it happen. Only my effort is not enough here.

No marriage succeed without God.
Besides, if he will not make it happen because of his reckless life style how are you so sure you will be able to afford the life of affluence you truly desires without him?

If you can, madam, sit down and reflect thoroughly. Ask God to take the wheel, listen to what He will instruct and do the needful. Peace.

coputa:
Gambling is not bad,it's only when someone is addicted.life itself is a gamble

One common trait with addicts is that they are always in denial saying their addiction isn't bad.

Sometimes people like this deserve an agbero for a wife and the one that will disgrace them well well. That is only when they will be afraid and ashamed. Some women would have carried their pregnant body and their children to his work place to go and cry out in hunger!!! Shame will make him sit up. If he does not get help, he won’t change.

He’s married and still living with his single habits because you enable him. Just ensure you start asking him to pay for everything now. Complain, morning, afternoon and night about the house and all your worries. Take a safe approach because you are pregnant, so, no go fight am o! . Use the money you have to chop well, when he comes home, clean mouth, let him meet empty cups, plate and pots.

If you try this and he does not change, please get yourself a better place to stay and make sure he sends money for your child’s upkeep and whatever you need to take care of yourself and baby. When you are leaving, carry all his expensive items if he has any to sell and sustain yourself.

Acidbath:


Having a gambler as husband means poverty for life. Its a serious disease.

The gamblers on this forum are doomed for life.

Wrong notion,gamblers are not doomed.one out of every ten men gambles in nigeria,it's the addiction that is bad.

lilyheaven:
her husband loves her, he is only addicted to something, which he has been even before they said I DO.
she should find away around it , with love and respect.
her husband will change, it's not by gra gra .

Love and respect does not help an addict change, don't oversimplify gambling.

It is a mental health disorder that an addict don't have control over and can't choose when to SWITCH OFF because it is neurologically compulsive.

Many seek professional help only when they have hit rock bottom and unfortunately dragging their families down with them.

Not being present for an intimate partner
who is a gambling addict, is one of ways of helping the addict as most times the presence is an enabler.

Felimax:
1No marriage succeed without God.
Besides, if he will not make it happen because of his reckless life style how are you so sure you will be able to afford the life of affluence you truly desires without him?

2. If you can, madam, sit down and reflect thoroughly. Ask God to take the wheel, listen to what He will instruct and do the needful. Peace.

1. The same God that cursed marriage in Genesis 3 vs 16 and said that your marriages are of this world and not of the Kingdom of God - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36 ?

Stop dragging God into that which God washed His hands off of since the time of Adam. You both decide the parameters of success as far as your marriage is concerned and since marriage is an agreement between two individuals, it takes two to make it, not just one.

2. What makes you think God isn't the one driving her towards abandoning ship on the marriage in answer to her prayers for help?

Let me guess, even though God never said divorce is sin against Him, it has to be because it goes against your idea?