I have been opportuned to meet people in my already weird looking life but each time I meet or get introduced to someone, It sometimes goes like this

Me: Hello nice meeting you

The person: Oh yea likewise. Where are you from?

Me: I am an African Duh

The person: Lol I know but what country exactly?

Me: West Africa, Nigeria.

The person: Hey I am also a Nigerian but where exactly in Nigeria are you from?

Now the last bolded part is what confuses me sometimes. When I get asked that question I always reply stating my father's state as where I come from, but I have met alot of women that when asked where they are from , They actually say their husband's state.

Am I weird to say that I really come from my father's state or should I say I come from my husband state? saying I come from my husband's state just sounds too strange as I am not from there and would rather my kids claim the state and not me.

What do you think? do you think women should change automatically to their hubbys state when asked this question?

Your fathers state and you can add that your husband is from Ajegunle

E.g if you married someone from China would you say you are from Shanghai?

^^^Exactly, Like I always say I am from this state but my hubby is from that state, but I find it kinda weird when women say they are from their hubby's state.

Lol I am talking about Nigerian women married to Nigerian men dayo. And yea thanx for the Ajegunle

@ Jenny

Lol . . .  I understand your confusion completely!

The name comes automatically but the state/hometown . . .  that's a bot harder.

Even though I've not quite gotten there yet, I always wonder . . . .

Looking at my mum, you'd never guess she was from a different place cos she hardly ever mentions it. Being married for a really long time does that to you . . .  especially if you visit there regularly. When you go to hour husband's place EVERY holidays, you'll definitely start seeing there as your own place.

But 'technically', you are from your father's place.    

I think the guy/person is asking you where you are from ? not where your hubby is from? so your answer should be where your father is from,

Ujujoan:

@ Jenny

Lol . . . I understand your confusion completely!

The name comes automatically but the state/hometown . . . that's a bot harder.

Even though I've not quite gotten there yet, I always wonder . . . .

Looking at my mum, you'd never guess she was from a different place cos she hardly ever mentions it. Being married for a really long time does that to you . . . especially if you visit there regularly. When you go to hour husband's place EVERY holidays, you'll definitely start seeing there as your own place.

But 'technically', you are from your father's place.

How was the honeymoon?

Ujujoan:

@ Jenny

Lol . . .  I understand your confusion completely!

The name comes automatically but the state/hometown . . .  that's a bot harder.

Even though I've not quite gotten there yet, I always wonder . . . .

Looking at my mum, you'd never guess she was from a different place cos she hardly ever mentions it. Being married for a really long time does that to you . . .  especially if you visit there regularly. When you go to hour husband's place EVERY holidays, you'll definitely start seeing there as your own place.

But 'technically', you are from your father's place.    

Exactly, my mum has already claimed my father's place, and I am freaking out that the same thing will happen to me in the nearest future Like if we visit naija we always visit his own place and browse through my father's for a few hours just to see my grand ma, my mama's place we hardly go there . I want my kids to say hey I am from daddys place but not me saying it.

Uju

Even with the name believe me it took me a long time to get used to his name. I used to introduce myself with my father's name at the end . It was too embarassing for me and I was in school then so you can imagine being called Frau . . . . . . and then all of a sudden they had to start calling me frau . . . . my hubbys name

jennykadry:

Uju

Even with the name believe me it took me a long time to get used to his name. I used to introduce myself with my father's name at the end . It was too embarassing for me and I was in school then so you can imagine being called Frau . . . . . . and then all of a sudden they had to start calling me frau . . . . my hubbys name

Lol

It shouldnt have embarassed you na . . . it's a thing of pride around here . . 'Mrs.'!

jennykadry:

Exactly, my mum has already claimed my father's place, and I am freaking out that the same thing will happen to me in the nearest future Like if we visit naija we always visit his own place and browse through my father's for a few hours just to see my grand ma, my mama's place we hardly go there . I want my kids to say hey I am from daddys place but not me saying it.

It's a Nigerian thing oh . . . especially Igbos.

I'm not even married yet and my family members are already caling me nwanyi (his place)!

dayokanu:

How was the honeymoon?

You should knoe na . . . you were there!

Lol stay diaaa e never start very soon they will soon start calling you his name. No be naija again

jennykadry:

Lol stay diaaa e never start very soon they will soon start calling you his name. No be naija again

I think we (women) should hold onto our individuality in our marriages for as long as we possibly can . . . The truth is that, it's all mostly an illusion. A married Nigerian (especiall those living in Nigeria) might as well resign herself to the fact that her identity is now a reflection of who her husband is.

So my advise to you namesake dear . . . Stick to your father's state for as long as you can. But don't fight the change, it's inevitable!

Ujujoan:



I think we (women) should hold onto our individuality in our marriages for as long as we possibly can . . . The truth is that, it's all mostly an illusion. A married Nigerian (especiall those living in Nigeria) might as well resign herself to the fact that her identity is now a reflection of who her husband is.

So my advise to you namesake dear . . . Stick to your father's state for as long as you can. But don't fight the change, it's inevitable!

Tell me about it. I am freaking out already. Why do men always have to get away with so many things. It is not fair

ronkebp:

I think the guy/person is asking you where you are from ? not where your hubby is from? so your answer should be where your father is from,

True but some women actually say they are from their husbands place.

Methinks, it's where your dad comes from that you should claim, not where your hubby is from. Its more appropriate that way.

Fortunately for me my husband and I is from the same state, so when people ask I tell them I am from Delta state because that is where I am from originally. I think women should say where the come from instead of the husband's state

@JennyKadry

Shut up,you are an ALIEN!

jennykadry:

Tell me about it. I am freaking out already. Why do men always have to get away with so many things. It is not fair

jennykadry:

Tell me about it. I am freaking out already. Why do men always have to get away with so many things. It is not fair

search me o my sister. And there's almost nothing we can do bout it

You should reply with your own state of origin.

there is nothing wrong in stating your own state. also there is nothing wrong in stating your own state and your husband i.e " i am from, B state but/and i am married in A state" or "i am from C state however, i am married to a D state man" etc. or " i am originally from E state but now married to. . . . ."

there shouldnt be any change, since there is/are so many ways of answering the question. 

it is generally nigerian culture that marrying a person, esp men, means marrying his whole village and their problems, so some women find it only but natural to state their husbands origin, since they are now a member of that state, tradition, and culture by martial naturalization.

it is the same as some naturalized american/uk/Canadian etc citizens. since, they are a naturalized citizen of that country, some now claim it as their own. i.e, asking an american naturalized Canadian where he is from, his new answer will likely be " i am an american" etc

I have never given a thought to this issue before. My parents were from the same village so it never came up and my husband and i are from the same state. As for village, i answer whichever one takes my fancy or suits my purpose at that time. If i am talking to an acquaintance/stranger, i say my husband's village. If its someone i know very well or its for official purposes, its my village.

Actually, i think i always say my village.

Ujujoan:



I think we (women) should hold onto our individuality in our marriages for as long as we possibly can . . . The truth is that, it's all mostly an illusion. A married Nigerian (especiall those living in Nigeria) might as well resign herself to the fact that her identity is now a reflection of who her husband is.

So my advise to you namesake dear . . . Stick to your father's state for as long as you can. But don't fight the change, it's inevitable!

I don't agree with the bolded. I don't see myself claiming a state I don't come from. Perhaps if the two places are close, e.g different towns in the same state, that's understandable but different states? Nah. I'm an individual, abeg.

I think it might depend on individual cultures.

I'm not used to the concept of a woman claiming her husband's place of origin if she's not from there.

Unless maybe she has a long familiarity with the area.

Dad's hometown + or - place of birth are what people usually go by.

tpia@:

I think it might depend on individual cultures.

I'm not used to the concept of a woman claiming her husband's place of origin if she's not from there.

Unless maybe she has a long familiarity with the area.

Dad's hometown + or - place of birth are what people usually go by.

Exactly.

Depends.

If its someone that 'might' be familiar with my place,I'd use my husbands place to confuse his head and end the discussion. . .and vice versa.
Generally,I love my mothers place and more often than not, claim to be from there.

..

chaircover:

I dont have a choice 

I would say that 90% of Yorubas hear my husbands surname and will correctly name his town.

You know how those danfo drivers join peoples change together by force LOL; well thats how it is with me. N[b]o one ever asks me where I am from as soon as they hear my hubbys surname[/b]   

CC no worries. We shall overcome

chaircover:

I dont have a choice

I would say that 90% of Yorubas hear my husbands surname and will correctly name his town.

You know how those danfo drivers join peoples change together by force LOL; well thats how it is with me. No one ever asks me where I am from as soon as they hear my hubbys surname

OBASANJO??

is it only obasanjo who has a unique name?

could also be olunloyo or saraki.

She is from Ogun State iirc.

.

Lol, A married woman like u should be proud to say u are from ur husbands place cos he owns u now unless u got some fishy things ur upto,