Change is inevitable, except from a vending
machine.
Few women admit their age. Few men act
theirs.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a
better idiot.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are
missing!"
When there's a will, I want to be in it."
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a
clear conscience."
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave
up reading.";
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--
unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good
liar.";
Traditions are group efforts to keep the
unexpected from happening.";
People always call it luck when you've acted
more sensibly than they have.";
We must believe in luck. For how else can we
explain the success of those we don't like?";
I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty
being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What
do you want, an adorable pancreas?";