The World Athletics Championship has finished and Nigeria won no medals.

Worse still, we did not even come close to winning any medal in virtually all the competitions even the ones we have been historically strong at. Some we could not even get past semi-finals like the Men's 100m and 400m. Races we used to have about 2 Nigerians in the finals. So we did not even have a 4X100m relay team.

Yet we see other African countries doing better than us in these areas we are good at.

If we had a President like me, first thing tomorrow morning, letters/emails stamped with the President'a official stamp would have been sent to the Sports ministry and Nigerian Athletics Federation directly to the specific officials with the responsibility for our Athletics to report to Aso Rock by 8am Wednesday morning.

Before that, on Monday and Tuesday, one of the young assistants (interns) would have been given the task to compile the public funding pumped into Nigerian Athletics from the 80s till date (inflation-adjusted) and the performance we generated in those periods (medals, finals participation, exceptional circumstances to be considered e.g. we won a medal because USA dropped baton) to see the trends.

Then the people responsible will come in on Wednesday to explain to me why we did not win anything or even perform while funding has been steady, higher or not significantly lower. Between Monday and Wednesday, I would expect them to have lost a quarter of their weight and be wearing diapers because I want them to be shytting their pants. I would ensure they utilise the diaper by not evening seeing them until 10.30am (even though they were told to arrive at 8am) and they are just sitting in the corner waiting (without updates) and wondering what their fate is.

Then obviously when I finally see them, they have the task of trying to bullshit their way against someone they are not half as sharp (i.e. all of them combined) as his pinky finger and who has already got his facts and figures in place.

But we don't have people like me, we have Jonathan with the IQ of a Silverback Gorilla for the next 4 years.

^^^

So phocking what?

Did any one in your family compete or are they all failures like yourself


Internet gangster ode oshi!