Dad; what's ur result?

Son; i've failed in 5 subjects.

Dad; from now onwards don't call me "DAD".

Son; oh come on dad! Its my school test not a DNA test,


A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine,

My Teacher pointed at me with a Ruler & said:
“At the End of this Ruler is an Idiot” I still don’t get why I got rusticated.
I only asked him,
“Which End Sir?”

With a pile of 300 resumes on his desk and a need to pick someone quickly, my boss told me to make calls on the bottom 50 and toss the rest. "Throw away 250 resumes?" I asked, shocked. "What if the best candidates are in there?"

"You have a point," he said. "But then again, I don't need people with bad luck here."

Today I Saved a Life
.
.
How??

, I Asked a Begger

'what will u do if I'll give u a thousand dollars?

He Said 'I'll die with happiness'

So I didn't gave him.

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology that was explaining the phenomenon of mixed emotions. The husband turned to his wife and said, 'Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time'.
She said 'Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis.

*thread booted*