Afodot0022:
Forgiven her wasnt easy, to be honest with you have not 100% forgiven her cos am still shocked and heartbroken. But you see those kids they are girls and i know they will be massively affected if i act irrationally, they should not suffer for their mom crimes . The major thing now is trust and the way this union is going its very sketchy if it will last the test of time. The kids cant live with me cause am also a busy person and even though we end up DIVORCING, the court will still grant her cos they are still very young.

Tokskob2008:
I think it's the trust you lost in her that's making you more worried about the six month course away from base cos 6months isn't that a long time but after it won't she be posted to another state?

If you want her to stop the work just tell her to do so and face the kids and family, the work isn't helpful in the first place plus she is already exhibiting strange behaviors so what's the point Imagine her having extramarital affairs that isn't helpful in anyway to her, still uses the upkeep allowance when she is broke so what is the use of her affair

Afodot0022:
Thanks for the input, you see women, you cant just predict them, this is the person that have not been beneficial in financing any thing at home. I basically do everything for her and the kids and instead of her to look for a way to support and lessen my financial stress, it was cheating that comes straight to her mind. Honestly i was devastated and betrayed by what she did, thank God i survived those period i discovered but you see, i have wise up and know how to run through things now, reason why i wanted the kids to go with her so she will bear the brunt and also the stress of what she has caused. Though she has apologize but you see forgiven a cheating wife is the difficult thing a man can do in this life.. you just cant let go as a man. ,

Afodot0022:
Honestly brother, that job has been a curse rather than blessings to the family. It has been one issue to another ever since she got the job. Nothing to show and the way they use her as a wardress is bad. Her pay is 32k and she spend close to 2k for transport daily which even exceed the salary each month. Attimes its the money i give her for housekeep she uses to transport herself. So whats the gain. I have gotten through enough pain in this marriage honestly and am on the verge of DIVORCING and opting out cos things seem not to get better and its worst if you marry a woman that should make things worst and difficult for you. Ever since i got married to her, it has always been one issue or the other. I am just tired honestly.

4ward4:
I feel your pain OP. The worst part of all this is that ,her salary might not be up to 100k Considering her educational qualifications.
To be a man is complicated and uttermost wisdom is needed in handling issues . Number 1 and most importantly is home running monetarily.
Letting her work with such poor qualification was your mistake, she will definitely flirt to argument her poor pay, Considering Lunch and transport fare. It might be an innocent flirt ,but she will definitely do.
Your solution is simple, take her on a Trade. Take a loan and establish her...Discuss this intensively with Her and make a comprehensive business plan ,that will entice her. Show her how to make more money than the little salary she earns.
Divorce and those shouting out of points aren't conversant with Marriage reality. If you like go pick another wife, and same might befall you . If you don't plan for your woman properly.

4ward4:
I feel your pain OP. The worst part of all this is that ,her salary might not be up to 100k Considering her educational qualifications.
To be a man is complicated and uttermost wisdom is needed in handling issues . Number 1 and most importantly is home running monetarily.
Letting her work with such poor qualification was your mistake, she will definitely flirt to argument her poor pay, Considering Lunch and transport fare. It might be an innocent flirt ,but she will definitely do.
Your solution is simple, take her on a Trade. Take a loan and establish her...Discuss this intensively with Her and make a comprehensive business plan ,that will entice her. Show her how to make more money than the little salary she earns.
Divorce and those shouting out of points aren't conversant with Marriage reality. If you like go pick another wife, and same might befall you . If you don't plan for your woman properly.

BATified2023:
sorry u keep hammering cheating but did they have any sexual affair ?

If it’s still flirt chat u can reprimand her which is normal but still keeping it in mind will break d marriage in d long run

If they didn’t have sex u can still take measures that will help d family especially as a man, with the way u are going any small pressure will break d marriage especially from your end

Afodot0022:
Honestly brother, that job has been a curse rather than blessings to the family. It has been one issue to another ever since she got the job. Nothing to show and the way they use her as a wardress is bad. Her pay is 32k and she spend close to 2k for transport daily which even exceed the salary each month. Attimes its the money i give her for housekeep she uses to transport herself. So whats the gain. I have gotten through enough pain in this marriage honestly and am on the verge of DIVORCING and opting out cos things seem not to get better and its worst if you marry a woman that should make things worst and difficult for you. Ever since i got married to her, it has always been one issue or the other. I am just tired honestly.

Meandmycrew:
How many times will you post this? Oga a beg rest !

Zonefree:
Your main concern and worry should be infidelity from your wife, like I told you in your former thread.

You're yet to address that and now you're most concerned about her relocation. A woman who was flirting with her ex when you're sharing same room with her, what do you think will happen when she's alone?

Be wise.

Kollins11:
first of all, I don't do that useless shit called relationship or marriage.

Marriage/relationship is for delusional people who think love exist.

Secondly, them never born any useless Nigerian girl wey go play with my peace of mind. She dey Mad? abi Ogun wan kill her papa?

Oga, you better take total control of your house without minding her useless feelings, else the next Shege she go show you, you no go fit resist the urge to shalaye.

Just dey SIMP

Kollins11:
OP after reading your previous and current real life stories, I'm still asking myself what are you still doing with that useless wh0re. Infact by now I expect you to have bring in another fresh kpekus into your house.

All your stories state that your wife dey always show you better Shege and yet you dey SIMPly accept her back. U be mumu? 70 years old man

My Verdict: you're irredeemable SIMP, I have no advice for you becus you no dey hear word.
And anybody wey go advice you na also typical BASTARD.

Justkatty:
First of all, I'll commend you for forgiving your wife because in this part of the world, a man can overlook any other thing but when it comes to cheating 99% won't even want to think twice before sending her out.
May God continue to strengthen your marriage and also bless Mama for helping out.


Back to your question

I'll advise you to let her work for few months or a year, for her to be able to gather herself and think of a business she can do atleast for now, till when the kids comes of age. But I wouldn't want the kids to go live with her because of expenses, I believe you both can come up with a target and when that is achieved, you can now consider her quitting the job.
I know for sure you'll be having this double mind of her messing around, since you won't be together again, just don't let that bother you
If she chooses to respect her body fine
If she chooses to misbehave fine, when it's time, she'll bear the consequences.
Peace.

Afodot0022:
Yes the infidelity is my concern and this has really deaded the trust i have for her, if not that, i can still navigate this myself but you see trust is very big in marriage, i have thought about it that if she can have the mind and bold to talk to another man under my roof, ehat cant she do when she is distance when there will be little monitoring. Though it have been addressed and she apologize bitterly and promised she wont venture into such but you see once bitten is twice shy. Reason taking decision is difficult expecially the one that will favor the kids. Now there is a loophole in the marriage and seperation now will just destroy everything cos the union is weak now.

peepydelano:
Don’t take any advise from a woman especially the one above me