busar: You mean if you were older than your present age?

Yes.

Sissie:

Yes.

What if you don't know you were older than him? Because there are some people that look more mature than their age.

busar: What if you don't know you were older than him? Because there are some people that look more mature than their age.

Will definitely ask him, immediately we start talking.

busar: What if you don't know you were older than him? Because there are some people that look more mature than their age.

For me it's not about looking more mature, it's more of his behavior/personality/ level of thinking/maturity

^^These are what I meant by the word 'mature'

True Story: Couple married for 40 years having trouble. Man feels woman has taken control of the kids and they only listen to her. I.e they do not regard him or call him. Everything seems to be falling apart. At Eid, Man left home and locked the sitting room, meaning the woman could not even receive guests.

The man has a child, 17 years old outside wedlock in another country but the wife has no clue about this. He was out of the country working for many years, his wife also had a good job in Nigeria so they had that long distance arrangement.

Now, man is thinking of bringing in the 'other family' in since things are not going so well.

So the question is: Would you consider having a long distance arrangement with your husband/wife if both of you have great jobs in different cities?

busar: ^^These are what I meant by the word 'mature'

Alright

by Allah, dah distance stuff is a no-no for me...its what i fear most when i think of my marriage inshaaAllah. i fear it so very much, i dunno y. it starts fitnah, iyen numba one. wife or even d husband may stray to commit zina.(audhubillah mina dhalik). And if dat apns, d division is starting from this dunya wen i am striving to make a home for we too in jannah in akhira?

by Allah, dah distance stuff is a no-no for me...its what i fear most when i think of my marriage inshaaAllah. i fear it so very much, i dunno y. it starts fitnah, iyen numba one. wife or even d husband may stray to commit zina.(audhubillah mina dhalik). And if dat apns, d division is starting from this dunya wen i am striving to make a home for we two in jannah in akhira?

tbaba1234: True Story: Couple married for 40 years having trouble. Man feels woman has taken control of the kids and they only listen to her. I.e they do not regard him or call him. Everything seems to be falling apart. At Eid, Man left home and locked the sitting room, meaning the woman could not even receive guests.

The man has a child, 17 years old outside wedlock in another country but the wife has no clue about this. He was out of the country working for many years, his wife also had a good job in Nigeria so they had that long distance arrangement.

Now, man is thinking of bringing in the 'other family' in since things are not going so well.

So the question is: Would you consider having a long distance arrangement with your husband/wife if both of you have great jobs in different cities?

Long distance affects marriage if it's not properly handled, the kids probably grew up with their mother and don't have a bond with their father hence they would have more respect for their mother.

He should try fix the home first before bringing in the kid.

I don't like long distance marriage, if one of us has a great job, it means we will still do ok financially why jeopardize the marriage. If he has a great job I am moving with him.

busar: As for me, i don't like reading long post. Let stick to the purpose of the thread.
My question : I once told a friend of mine about a sister that I would love to marry. The sister is kind of older than me and he, my friend, was like 'don't you mind the age?' I said, 'I don't mind oh'.
Can you marry a sister that is older than you? And to the sister, can you marry a brother you are older than?

I can marry anybody in as much as she fits in to the qualities i want.We have seen different scenarios where younger people perform much more better than olders.This is where exposure comes in.......

For me, I think the weddings of the prophet (saw) is a message to muslims as to what kind of woman is permissible for us to marry. Older (khadijah), younger - when she is full grown (aisha), widows (umm salma), divorced (zainab), freed slave (safia). Therefore a man may marry any of these categories if they chemically blend with him and his style.

On the distance aspect; it is seriously of a great concern to me due to the nature of my practise, majorly because I really use to think my kids should be a better edition of me, so I want to watch them grow right under my nose. I guess I'll rather wait till I can settle without having to stay away from home.

May ALLAH ease our affairs.

^ ameen. Nice contribution.The Prophet p.b.u.h is our role model.

Jazakallahu khaira.


I can marry any sister from any tribe,younger or older than me,frm diff state or country so far she has d qualities and the chemistry u r talking abt exists.

But the issue of staying here and she s staying somewhere won't happen.We've to live together...to avoid fitnah,for proper/moral child upbringng and education,etc.

The Islamic law recommends that the husband shldn't stay away frm his wife for more than four days...to avoid fitnah.
I 4gt the hadith or reference...

Sissie:

At my age I can't marry someone younger than me, if I was older yes I can.

the nail, you hitted right on its head... Someone I am older than? I doubt if he is thinking of marriage now...

Well, it is a question asked and my answer is NO!

wait ooo.... i jst stormed the thread..... its not a bad idea, how do we even get 2 kno which is male nd which is female, age nd oda stuffs?... cuz m lukin forward to hook a good sister hia ooo

Gooci: wait ooo.... i jst stormed the thread..... its not a bad idea, how do we even get 2 kno which is male nd which is female, age nd oda stuffs?... cuz m lukin forward to hook a good sister hia ooo

abi ayam a late comer ni?

Gooci:
abi ayam a late comer ni?

Hw do we knw whether you are male,female,muslim or christain etc?

Assalam alaykum.
I was conversing with a brother very recently and he mentioned to me that he can't marry a sister that uses the niqab/face veil.Personally,from his level of understanding and religious commitment,I expected a positive response.Then,I felt niqab/face veil should be discussed before marriage.
Do you think its an ''issue''?

harmeenart: Assalam alaykum.
I was conversing with a brother very recently and he mentioned to me that he can't marry a sister that uses the niqab/face veil.Personally,from his level of understanding and religious commitment,I expected a positive response.Then,I felt niqab/face veil should be discussed before marriage.
Do you think its an ''issue''?

w/salam w.w

Allahu akbar.I hope my wife'll b using niqab.....

@Ummu Nusaybah I hope you're with ur niqab...LOL

For me I can marry a sister that uses niqab...but I've to see her face Tto face before the marriage....

It was narrated that a companion told the Prophet p.b.u.h that he wanted to marry a lady I've forgtn ha name.The Prophet p.b.u.h said "have u seen her?" the companion replied "No".The Prophet p.b.u.h said "go and see her,for It'll produce love btw you" later the companion saw her and they married.

mashaaAllah. Am not a niqabite buh i av a dream to that effect inshaaAllah. i am a law student and it is not allowed in law. thats what is stopping me buh inshaaAllah as soon as am done with law, i will start using the niqab...i wont practise law niyen

Esji80:

w/salam w.w

Allahu akbar.I hope my wife'll b using niqab.....

@Ummu Nusaybah I hope you're with ur niqab...LOL

For me I can marry a sister that uses niqab...but I've to see her face Tto face before the marriage....

It was narrated that a companion told the Prophet p.b.u.h that he wanted to marry a lady I've forgtn ha name.The Prophet p.b.u.h said "have u seen her?" the companion replied "No".The Prophet p.b.u.h said "go and see her,for It'll produce love btw you" later the companion saw her and they married.

MashaAllah,May Allah make it easy.
If she was on niqab b4 you proposed,then its part of the sunnah to see her face,or better still to look at her well.I dont know of any man who wont want to sef.
And if she wasnt on niqab,I think you should tell her of how much you'ld love seeing ur wife use it.You should ask her opinions about it too.If she still intends to use it,beautiful,and if otherwise,you better start doing admonitiöns.....just come to a conclusion before getting married.

babylolaroy: mashaaAllah. Am not a niqabite buh i av a dream to that effect inshaaAllah. i am a law student and it is not allowed in law. thats what is stopping me buh inshaaAllah as soon as am done with law, i will start using the niqab...i wont practise law niyen

Barakallahufiih.May Allah ease ur path towards goodness.Hope the man that proposes to you makes that dream real.
Another reason I asked this question was becos a friend of mine told me his father took a new wife because his mum doesnt want to use the niqab
I didnt know what to say.I pray Allah assists each and every one of us.Aamin

babylolaroy: mashaaAllah. Am not a niqabite buh i av a dream to that effect inshaaAllah. i am a law student and it is not allowed in law. thats what is stopping me buh inshaaAllah as soon as am done with law, i will start using the niqab...i wont practise law niyen

Allahu akbar ! I really admire your love for the deen.

I wsh u d best of luck in ur studies.May Allah s.w.t assist us in ol our endeavours of life ameen.

IF you are to practice law,will d niqab allow you to practice it?

@Harmeenart. Definately,b4 I propose any lady she has to b mindfl of her dressng code i.e the sunnatic way a muslimah suppose to appear.Even if she doesn't use niqab,a complete hijab frm head to toe is necessary.

I always consider a hijabated sisteras being more beautifl than an unhijabated sister....y? she obeys Allah s.w.t and the Prophet p.b.u.h.


May Allah s.w.t guide and bless us all.ameen

ummsulaym:

... Someone I am older than? I doubt if he is thinking of marriage now...

Esji80:

Allahu akbar ! I really admire your love for the deen.

I wsh u d best of luck in ur studies.May Allah s.w.t assist us in ol our endeavours of life ameen.

IF you are to practice law,will d niqab allow you to practice it?

i cant practice law with niqab. Not even when hijab is not approved of and i have thus decided to leave the practice of law. Once am done wth the study just for study sake. i got admitted for law b4 i realised dah we cant practice with hijab. its kinda too late to turn bak, am already in 300lv.
sista Ameen, inshaaAllah, i hope to find such a man that will allow me to do my deen.

lol. i ddnt realise i said Ameen instead of Ameenah buh same is same. Av met a couple of people whi said my name should be Waduud and Waduudah is just an innovation. Maybe sista Haritha too shud jeje remove the 'a' and stick with Harith

babylolaroy:

i cant practice law with niqab. Not even when hijab is not approved of and i have thus decided to leave the practice of law. Once am done wth the study just for study sake. i got admitted for law b4 i realised dah we cant practice with hijab. its kinda too late to turn bak, am already in 300lv.
sista Ameen, inshaaAllah, i hope to find such a man that will allow me to do my deen.

MashaAllahu. you'll av applied for change of course nw.Anyhw may Allah s.w.t choose us d best...ameen

السلام عليكم
Can someone propose to a sister in advance? Maybe the said sister/brother isn't around(in the country).

A distraction.. If any has the time, they should correct this brother spreading falsehood so that he does not misguide people.


https://www.nairaland.com/1493271/ten-misconception-among-muslims/1#up

Thanx tbaba for ur time to clear the dude of mischief though i doubt if he understood. hez a lost sheep wanting company. i wanted to yab him buh i put myself on check. it was like i could smack him a million times till hez senseless
A buffoon of this era!!

Esji80:

Hw do we knw whether you are male,female,muslim or christain etc?

i am ibrahim, a muslim(22yrs old)

Gooci: wait ooo.... i jst stormed the thread..... its not a bad idea, how do we even get 2 kno which is male nd which is female, age nd oda stuffs?... cuz m lukin forward to hook a good sister hia ooo

I do not think this thread is geared towards that.

tbaba1234:

I do not think this thread is geared towards that.

oops.. mayb it was my misconception ryt from d start...... whats the thread for? is it just to share our views on things?