Psalm 55:12" For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:
13: "But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance."
(In other words, my friend)

Micah 7:5" Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom."

Why?

Micah 7:6 "For the son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother, the daughter in law against her mother in law; a man's enemies are the men of his own house"

Beloved, one of the mysterious things about life is that nothing lasts forever, nothing is constant forever,change is unavoidable, change is inevitable, change is always constant, things always change either for the best or for the worst.

This leads us to the unpredictability of human nature, man is unpredictable, you cannot predict the person you know today because tomorrow, the person will deny you, the person can turn against you tomorrow depending on the circumstances that favor him or her.

Your best friend today may be your worst enemy tomorrow, ordinary man in the streets that you don't even know may be your saviour when trouble comes.

However, it is difficult for your worst enemy to suddenly becomes your friend, if it happens, then you should watch out.

The word, friend has been deceptively used overtime to confuse, deceive, manipulate, steal, kill and eventually destroy people.

In life, we only see people as they are but not who they really are, we see the outward appearance, smiling, cheering, respecting, laughing, clapping and embracing us with so much happiness but inwardly they are not who we think they are, they are ravenous wolves in sheep clothing. They are serpent. They are chameleons.
Beware of the chameleons, a chameleon is something that disguises itself to look as much like its environment as possible.

Human beings are like chameleons that change their behaviors to meet up with the current situation in order to get what they want at that particular time.

Jeremiah 17:9"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"

What do we do in this situation?

How do we recognize a true friend?

First, we need to know the meaning of the word' friend 'before we go further.


Who is a friend?


Google defined friend as a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relation.

Similar words for the word' friend':

Companion,
bosom friend,
confidant,
soul mate,
ally,
main man,
amigo,
pal,
buddy,
associate,
comrade.

Full meaning of friend:

A person who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family.

Who is a friend according to the Bible?

Proverbs 17:17" A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity"

At all times, bad times, good times,tough times, time of sickness, time of pain, time of disappointment, when things are hard, when you are facing rough time, business is down, no sales, no money, no cash, when people mock you and speak bad about you.

Real friends or true friends have decided to stay with you to the end, through thick and thin, not for what they can get out of it but to support you in the time of failure and adversity because they understood that life is cruel and sometimes, life doesn't give us what we deserve but they have decided to show what is called empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. True friends identify with you in your trouble, they are like-minded individuals who are sensible to know that it is more rewarding to befriendly in bad times than in good times. Life is a circle. What goes round comes round. It is your turn today,it may be my turn tomorrow. No one knows tomorrow. Life is unpredictable. It is good to help if it is within your capability.


Let's go further, in order to expose friends who are unfriendly, or friends who pretend to be our friends but inwardly they are our enemies, we need to know how to recognize a good friend, a true friend or a real friend.

No matter how long the friendship last, 20 children cannot play together forever, friends will come and go but the good friend will accept you for who you are not what they can get from you.

True friends really care by their behaviors.
Jesus taught us on how to recognize a false prophet, he said by their fruits you shall know them. Matthew 7:20.

When the Bible says by their fruits you shall know them, it means by their actions, behaviors and character, you shall know them.

Real friends are recognize by the way they stayed with you during hard times, they are not there to judge you, they are not there to hurt your feelings, they demonstrate humility, kindness and respect. When you see him or her, you enjoy his or her company. Real friends will tell you the truth even when it is hard for you to hear.

They will not destroy you at your back. They will not like to gossip about you but rather call you secretly or openly to counsel you gently not with harsh words. They will pray for you without your knowledge. They are secret intercessors. They are ready to partner with you in prayer to solve your problem. They are ready to go hungry and fast together with you in prayers to God. They are good listener. They make you smile. They will buy recharge card and call you on phone to ask about your well being. They will pray for you on phone. They are not pretenders. These are real people. True friends.
David and Jonathan in the Bible are perfect example of real friends.

May God give you one. Amen.

In the African settings or in a black man's world, there exists the mentally of crab in bucket,

Crab mentality also known as crab theory Is way of thinking, best described as "if I can't get it, neither can you"
The metaphor is taken from the way crabs behave inside a bucket. If you put about twenty crabs in a bucket, if one crab is trying to get out of the bucket another crab will pull the crab down, so they will all remain in the bucket, that is, you cannot get out while I am still here.

Practically, they demonstrated how unfriendly friends behave.

This will now leads us to the definition of unfriendly friends.

Who is an unfriendly friend?

Unfriendly friend is someone who pretends to be your friends but he is actually your enemy.

Such an individual will respect and say pleasant things about you while you are talking but immediately you finish talking and leave your presence, he will start to bring you down before everyone, he will say evil things about you and condemn you.

An unfriendly friend will gather information about you and use it against you in order to get what he wants, be it, promotion, contract, money, cash or gifts.

An unfriendly friend will block good things from coming your way and lead you to the one that is bad.

Unfriendly friend is a killer and they are on assignment to steal, kill and destroy.

Unfriendly friend doesn't care about your life, they are wicked, callous and dangerous.

Unfriendly friends are always available when they need something from you,

Unfriendly friend is someone who argues without any reasonable point and he is cursing, condemning by giving his own opinion, he has no interest in the truth.



Unfriendly friend is always bringing up his own ideas, his own agenda and he is always talking about his ideas without willing to embrace other people's opinions.

Unfriendly friend will join others to gang up against you.

Unfriendly friend is envious of your achievement.

Unfriendly friend sheds crocodile tears and show empathy with you but behind you, he says " God catch am"

Unfriendly friend will go about wicked places to circulate your names for ritual purposes.

Unfriendly friend wants to move higher in life while you go down. He will continue to push you down by all means.

Unfriendly friend are over my dead body enemy, they are ready to sacrifice anything include their own lives just for you to go down in life or die

Unfriendly friend will continue to judge wrongly even though you are doing the right thing.

Unfriendly friend calls you Pastor, Evangelist, Prophet or Deacon in your presence but call you fake christian at your back, he will say," he is not a christian."


How do you handle these people?

The spiritual world controls the physical world so you need to be connected to the spirit realm by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal saviour, Jesus knows the heart of men.
Jesus will lead you and reveal the person to you.

Always pray for the ability to discern spirit. Pray that God should open your eyes to see the person not physically but spirituality

Mind what you say to people.

Learn how to keep things to yourself.

Trust in God,use your brain and apply wisdom from God.

Talk less and listen more.

Decide that you will not say anything.

Silence is golden.

You can also ask God, who is this person?
God will reveal his true identity, if only you can pray.

Your night dream can also be a way of detecting unfriendly friend.

Biblical examples of unfriendly friend.

King Ahab and King Jehoshaphat.
Find time to read 1 Kings Chapter 22.

King Rehoboam young friends. I kings 12: 3-16

Delilah on assignment to capture Samson. Judges 16:5

Pray that God should turn the information in the hands of your unfriendly friend against you to foolishness.

Lastly, let's show ourselves friendly before everyone, let's be friendly instead of making enemies, if we decide to show ourselves unfriendly we position ourselves as unfriendly friends too before everyone.

Stop the argument!

Start a good discussion so that others can learn

Stop the blame game!
Bring yourself down to learn from others.

No man knows it all.

Respect other people's opinions.

Everyone is entitled to his own opinion.
Greet people politely.

Learn to say,
please,
excuse me,
thank you.
God bless you.
You look great.
Can I help you?
What can I do to help you?



We reap what we sow.

Be nice, be friendly. That is the way to progress in life.

God bless us all. Amen.

Friendship is like a charm.
Your best friend may be your worst enemy.

Friendship is like a trap to make you do what you don't want to do.

O Lord do something for me to make me recognize my unfriendly friends in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.