@divalis, i hear your story and based just on what you have posted, nothing indicates to me a reason for any rational guy to hit you

like i have posted earlier, i believe physical violence against anybody is wrong and i make no excuse for any guy who hits a woman

if you had read the analogy in my first post on this topic, i gave an example of a scenario where a guy tries to do just what you have said and walk away but the small sized, sharp tongued lady he is with blocks his path just so she can continue abusing and cursing him, is that right? because she's a woman she's allowed to do that?

these days there are now so many guys out there getting physically abused by women right here in nigeria where there are no laws to protect women against violence just because those women know the man will not hit them back, is that the way it should be? should women not also tame their psychological and emotional abuse of their men with the use of their tongue during disagreements? it is amazing the way the tide has turned in this domestic violence scene but yet women will still shout to high heavens that men are hitting them

One thing is this

People resort to violence because they think nothing would happen or can get away with it.

No one is inherently violent.

I can beat my houseboy till death cos I know nothing would happen, why dont I beat my boss that cuss the shyyt out of me.

I know a guy that used to beat his sister regularly, He went abroad married an Oyinbo and tried that with her, She made it clear to him that next time he does that he would be cooling in the coldest jail cell.
Since then he never tried it even if he is drunk or on cocaine

An advice to women You should never endure spousal abuse more than ONCE.

If your bf shows any signs of wanting to beat you or beat you sit him down and deliver the message in a stern voice that it would never be tolerated. Invove his family too and yours

Next time he tries it Call the cops on him.

Also dont provoke your man, DOnt dare him to beat you cos such situations can degenerate, If he threatens to beat you, try to calm the situation or walk out.

Reason is that you never can tell when the devil has come upon him

90% of men including me dont like abuse and mouth works. Most women/ladies are uncultured that whenever they are angry, there is nothing they manufactrure with their shiithole called mouth.

Men dont talk, men act!

Some men play maturely and quit the scene for that bad mouthed lady. But, some men cannot withstand it, therefore, they gave her the slap.

Another thing is:
From all religions and african culture, men are bound to be the head/administrator of the house. Because of these western madness called civilizations, some women now think it should be the way round, thereby defaulting on instructions given by their head. And consequence may be beaten and other things.

I am not encouraging beating a wife. But some women can be funny too.

islamrules:

90% of men including me dont like abuse and mouth works. Most women/ladies are uncultured that whenever they are angry, there is nothing they manufactrure with their shiithole called mouth.

Men dont talk, men act!

Some men play maturely and quit the scene for that bad mouthed lady. But, some men cannot withstand it, therefore, they gave her the slap.

Another thing is:
From all religions and african culture, men are bound to be the head/administrator of the house. Because of these western madness called civilizations, some women now think it should be the way round, thereby defaulting on instructions given by their head. And consequence may be beaten and other things.

I am not encouraging beating a wife. But some women can be funny too.

If a man has to use physical force to command his respect as the "head/administrator" of the house, or if he has to slap his woman to quell the so called bad mouth lady, then he is less of a man. There are alternate, non-violent means of earning your respect and quelling a volatile situation.

My only issue is that inasmuch as some women claim that they do not want their men to hit them, these same women will be quick to slap or hit the man in their lives if he supposedly did something wrong.

Now is it OK for a lady to hit a man?

a slap,blow or a kick 4rm a man will only cause temporary wounds on a woman but words 4rm the tongue of a woman,can cause damages or wounds that may never be healed. . .

A husband, and his wife, are to love each other unconditionally, by the grace of The Lord GOD. There is to be no divorce for any reason. Some of what the holy word of GOD says -  "The LORD reigns"!!!
============

Proverbs 18:22
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."

Ephesians 5:21-30
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word," That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones." (the church in view here, is GOD's eternal church of all who are truly saved / redeemed by The Lord JESUS CHRIST, not the congregations that we see, that now because of their apostasy and according to the true word of GOD, are under GOD's judgment, as is the rest of this world - "For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?" -1 Peter 4:17

Colossians 3:18-20
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. "

1 Peter 3:1-4
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

Matthew 19:6
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. "

Malachi 2:16
"For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. " [putting away is divorce, The LORD hates it]

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." - Hebrews 13:4

"But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away." - Proverbs 6: 32-33

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18

1 Corinthians 7
"[b]Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.  For I would that all men were even as I myself.  But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.  I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.  But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.  A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?[/b]"
----
Proverbs 5:17-19
"Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her bosoms satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love."

If a man has to use physical force to command his respect as the "head/administrator" of the house, or if he has to slap his woman to quell the so called bad mouth lady, then he is less of a man. There are alternate, non-violent means of earning your respect and quelling a volatile situation.

Why did you omit the part where I said

Some men play maturely and quit the scene for that bad mouthed lady.

Non-Violent ? I see, like divorce ? Not all men like divorce as women do.

There is no solution to adamant and nagging wife. Pastors/parents cant help. Divorce is not a good option.

Can you recommend a therapy ?

@nawfia, ofcourse am frm anambra, like I said earlier,it depends on whos sister u r beating, i dont need a lawyer to tell me what to do, any man that is coming to marry frm my family can instantly tell by the family setup that this is not one of the ppl u beat their daughter and stay alive, u must show respect to my sister and my family because beating my sister is a big insult on my family, adi agwa ochi nti na agha esu!

I am passing tru one right now though he did not beat me this time but am just thinkin of leaving this time for good

Nawfia,pay no mind to that coward called JOHNDOE,because he clearly sound like a woman beater. Maybe he has been beating somebodys daughter but never been dealt with.he called u a liar ? He might as well say that am a liar too.like I said,it depends on whos sister u r beating.
JOHNDOE,I said wait untill u try it on daughter of a family like mine and find out if what NAWFIA BOY said was a lagos fantasy or lies,latent dullard like u will not see a train coming untill it smashes ur brain !

//

to be honest, simply because women push their men to the breaking point with ''our'' mouth should not be an excuse to beat a woman. it is just so not right.
debrief dear, glad you left. i think that's the best option. i hope they are do advert the program so many nigerian women be aware of help.

women beaters on the prowl

It would be better is both parties can act matured

Men dont raise your hand, Women dont provoke.

I think the bible somewhere says harsh words brings out anger. The way some women use their tongue on their spouse they are begging for it.

I have seen a woman who cursed not only her husband but his mother as well, Locked the door that he shouldnt leave the house and listen to her curses.

One thing is, the person you are cursing is not a piece of wood, If he cant curse you back He might use other means which includes violence.

Not condoning it but it would be better for all to work together and avoid it

I have diligently read through every post on this thread and am like WOW the things some women have gone through am deeply touched and sad by peoples personal experiences i.e[b] Debrief, Divalishis, oyinmama and others. I sympathise and am glad it's all over for you I can only imagine what you all went through because in all of my dating career I have never encountered a man who raised a hand/fist against me or who wanted to.[/b] Not because am perfect oooo. I just haven't had the misfortune of meeting such men

Thanks for sharing your stories, I've gained insight into what to do and what not to do when faced with a similar situation. What to do: leave after the first beating (I may stay after the first beating just to give the jerk a chance to ammend his ways if he is remorseful but by the second one I am definitely out of the door). What not to do: I won't consider what others would think of me or listen to people who advice that I stay and work it out.

@ nawfia and Nri_Priest, I desperately wish I was related to you guys , that way I'll know that any man who lays a finger on me erroneously will not go scot free.

@ Johndoe100 and others like him.
Please give it a rest and stop trying to be so antagonistic to this thread and topic. We all know that majority of victims in domestic violence are women, we don't have the physical strength to match a man's own so of course we are always at the receiving end.

When faced with a sharp tongue or somewhat troublesome woman there are more effective ways to deal with her than getting physical. Try the cold silent treatment am not saying you are a wife beater but you seem to think that if a woman gets beaten then she must have brought it on herself.

well, i am a man and i think its wrong for a man to beat his wife i have never and will never beat my wife or girlfriend, my sisters husband was beating her and slapping her around just because she had five kids for him (all girls) and his reason was why does she always have only girls not a boy, at one time he gave her a big black eye i only found out because she couldnt cover the eye, and what i did to this guy? i broke his nose AND HE WAS CRYING LIKE A BABY, i did to him what he did to my sister and he didnt like it, ever since he never lay a finger on her. these men are cowards its not frustration, btw now shes got two boys, he only had to be patience. guys please do not beat your wives they are your wives!! not punching bags!!

unfortunately those that are fighting against wife battery in nigeria are not winning the war, because they are one sided and refuse  to be objective. they see men as evil and aggressors, while women are saints and victims. most of them are BIAS, this thread is an example.

nobody deserves to have hands or any other object put on them. When i realised my ex had potential to be abusive, i walked away fast as i could.

Domestic Violence is all so very sad

HISchild:

A husband, and his wife, are to love each other unconditionally, by the grace of The Lord GOD. There is to be no divorce for any reason. Some of what the holy word of GOD says -  "The LORD reigns"!!!
============

Proverbs 18:22
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD."

Ephesians 5:21-30
"Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word," That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones." (the church in view here, is GOD's eternal church of all who are truly saved / redeemed by The Lord JESUS CHRIST, not the congregations that we see, that now because of their apostasy and according to the true word of GOD, are under GOD's judgment, as is the rest of this world - "For the time is come that judgment must begin at the house of God: and if it first begin at us, what shall the end be of them that obey not the gospel of God?" -1 Peter 4:17

Colossians 3:18-20
"Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.  Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. "

1 Peter 3:1-4
"Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."

Matthew 19:6
"Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh.  What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. "

Malachi 2:16
"For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously. " [putting away is divorce, The LORD hates it]

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." - Hebrews 13:4

"But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away." - Proverbs 6: 32-33

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18

1 Corinthians 7
"[b]Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.  Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.  Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.  For I would that all men were even as I myself.  But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.  I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.  But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.  And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.  And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.  For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.  But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart.  A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.  For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?[/b]"
----
Proverbs 5:17-19
"Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her bosoms satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love."

My guy, can you be more constructive with your posts!
Msscheew!!

Freesia:

One of my closest friend was been battered for over three years by her husband and never told a soul.The last straw was when he beat her up over their crying toddler while she was expecting another baby.This man who is 6'1 punched her in the stomach,dragged her on the floor all while she was screaming and he calls himself a medical doctor!! Thank God for the neighbours they called the cops,she didn't want him to be arrested saying "the father of my kids." his reputation bla bla
This past June he was running late for work and she rushed to give him some stuff he forgot in the house,He verbally abused her snatched the documents from her hand.
He reversed his car,knowing very well she was still standing there aimed at her foot and drove over it!!! She fell down and he sped off,Her little boy was screaming for the dad to stop the car but he didn't.She now has a permanent limp
It's all very sad to think her mother says she has to persevere, her dad came to U.S to take his daughter and his grandkids back to Naija to think things over.My heart bleeds for her because I know she will go back to him :( despite her telling me that this man is out to kill her.May the lord deliver us and give us strength and courage to make intelligent decisions!!!

Spot on.

I have since stopped pitying or wasting any emotion for anyone that chose to stay in an abusive relationship for any reason.I cannot love anyone more than they love themselves.An adult sits,sees his/her death but prefer to(for any ridiculous or stoopid reason) stay back,hope for change,watch and pray has my blessings.

Its more honorable to die a Mrs(in the hands of a lousy man) than to be alive and bear Miss or divorcee.Rubbish

@Freesia
Everything you wrote is hearsay, you do not even know if they are fantasy or not. Your pals parents feel very different from you, if they get to know that you are trying to end the daughters marriage, you will become unwelcome in that family. It is pals like you that people pray to God to keep away from their family.

The truth is that this is very rampant but women will not come out to say it. I commend the courageous women that came forward to share their stories. CC great job bring this up.

The truth is also that it does not only affect the woman going through the abuse but also the children. Children that grow up in a violent atmosphere or home tend to pick up those traits subconsiously.

Violence is never a good thing, it simply makes eveyone around you a victim. Violence is never the answer or solution!!!

NRI PRIEST:

Nawfia,pay no mind to that coward called JOHNDOE,because he clearly sound like a woman beater. Maybe he has been beating somebodys daughter but never been dealt with.he called u a liar ? He might as well say that am a liar too.like I said,it depends on whos sister u r beating.
JOHNDOE,I said wait untill u try it on daughter of a family like mine and find out if what NAWFIA BOY said was a lagos fantasy or lies,latent dullard like u will not see a train coming untill it smashes your brain !

Hahahaha see this foolish ibo man I am original niger delta, you wan try me. Na inside de cargo compartment of bus then go carry you go ya state. TRUE TO GOD NA THIS KIN CHALLENGE ME DEY LIKE.

[b]ANYWHERE YOU LIKE LAGOS OR PH [/b]You and your family none of you go survive.

Na wa for some men o. If beating a woman would shut her up like some men say, then my mother should have been beaten like million times over. Not that I support the way some women talk or nag but I feel men should be men in all aspects and just walk away when the woman is nagging or insulting.

My father and even his friends all say the same thing when a man complains that a woman is nagging. Na woman, abeg leave am! My dad even says that if men were to beat women because of nagging, then most of the married women would be dead by now.

I respect my Dad so much. Some of the things he used to do, some men of nowadays would not do such because they would say it is a woman's duty. Beating a GROWN UP person is wrong no matter the provocation. Simple

9to5365:

@Freesia
Everything you wrote is hearsay, you do not even know if they are fantasy or not. Your pals parents feel very different from you, if they get to know that you are trying to end the daughters marriage, you will become unwelcome in that family. It is pals like you that people pray to God to keep away from their family.

Believe what you will, this things happen! It is  people with your mindset that I pray  do not have sisters, aunts, nieces etc, because you would never support them if they choose to    leave an abusive marriage.

To all you blabbing that a woman runs off the mouth and therefore needs to be slapped or some bull like that, remember it's not just women who runs off the mouth. Many men talk nastily to their wives and noone slaps them, Respect IMHO, begets respect.

Domestic violence in any way is wrong. No man should beat his wife and no woman should beat her husband (I have seen this happen). Recently, my boss almost lost her friend ( a female) to domestic violence, her husband had removed the ceramic wash basin in their bathroom and bashed her head with it.   I wonder where he got the energy from. She landed in the hospital and the fool man left her there, presumably to die, msssccchhheeewww

Johdoe and his likes, Nothing makes domestic acceptable, NOTHING!!!

Swift SMS:


@ Johndoe100 and others like him.
Please give it a rest and stop trying to be so antagonistic to this thread and topic. We all know that majority of victims in domestic violence are women, we don't have the physical strength to match a man's own so of course we are always at the receiving end.

Does that mean we have lost the right to post our views? Wow how fast they become nazi's.

@ chaircover

You do realize that it is legal to beat your wife in Nigeria under sharia? This being the case why piss against the wind? We in Nigeria are not white, pretending to live in the west just brings problems.

chaircover:

There have been quite a number of threads recently on wife beating & I thought that it may be a good idea to discuss this at length here in the family section.

I have never had a hand raised against me before apart from my parents  so I probably don’t really understand what its like to be beaten by a spouse, however I thought that we can all learn from this thread, even the married ones because we all have single sisters, friends, cousins, colleagues etc share tips and pointers & advice on how to prevent it in the first instance.

Many of the stories here on NL are after the event. The essence of this thread is not just to talk about how to prevent the event but to also talk about what to do if it happens.

From experience and what I have seen, heard etc, these are some of the things that us women need to look out for before we say I do is;

A man who drinks excessively

A man who takes drugs

A man who without batting an eyelid can slap a defenceless person – eg oga slapping his gateman or driver, knowing well that the man will not strike back may one day slap defenceless you.

A man who is always angry – always seems to get involved in road rage incidents, fights at bars etc

A frustrated man who is pushed to the wall; for example He lost his job and his whole world is crashing round him may lash out at people around him.

A man who has a lot of ex-girlfriends – why do they all keep on leaving him

How does he treat his sisters and mother?

This is controversial I know, but some professions seem to have a higher incidence of wife beating. I don’t know if it is because they have a lot of untapped energy or the way that they have been trained. Should these people have stiffer judgements placed on them when they beat their wives to serve as a deterrent to others?

They way that they have been brought up? Do wife beaters learn this from their own fathers?

For those who are already married & have been through this, what did you do after the first slap? Did you pack your bags and leave immediately, report to his/your parents, make excuses for his behaviour etc

Do wife beaters ever stop being wife beaters?

Are there any justifications for a man to hit his woman?

How can we protect ourselves as women? Karate classes etc

Are there any services in Nigeria that are available to battered women & they can go to? If there are it will be nice to name them here.

I know that this topic is a very sensitive one, but If this thread is going to be of any help, please lets all be mature about how we discuss this.

do nigerian husbands actually wake up and start beating their wives?
there's no smoke without fire and we often forget nigerian women are sometimes caustic with their tongues.
i am not in support of any marital abuse including verbal abuses from the females. . . .give nigerian men their credits, they are not monsters.

if you have a dog who keeps biting at every little provocation, the fault lies with you, not the dog!

Liss:

Johdoe and his likes, Nothing makes domestic acceptable, NOTHING!!!

[size=20pt]Don't you understand? Beating your wife is legal in Nigeria[/size]



First, I need to point out that this thread is just another propaganda effort by the poster. If in fact the subject was aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution. Then that should be the title of the thread, to call it wife beating has already framed  the discussion within a biased set  of parameters, which is what  chaircover wanted.

The truth is that aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution, is sometimes necessary. There are women who by there nature require to be corrected aggressively in order for the message to penetrate their skulls. Also there are women who perform better in their day to day lives when they have someone who takes a firm hand in domestic issues.

We all know that aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution is really a sign of love when it is applied by the man. It shows that he cares for his woman / wife and can actually take the time to correct her. When a woman tries this it is a sign of an underlying mental health issue and her family should assist the man in getting her some help.

I have always wondered how those men who do not practise aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution manage their women / wives.

Really the usual divisions on NL once again play a part here. We Nigerians view this in a certain way. The Internet Nigerians who live in the white man’s land have imbibed what passes for culture in those lands and are spewing it here.
I stand to be corrected but aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution has produced happy, well adjusted women, which in turn makes the home happy.

I must add though that there are cases when aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution is taken too far. As in all things, when done excessively it is extremely counter productive. Most times this is caused by:
1. Sheer ignorance on the part of the man, he maybe young, uneducated, has a militarized mind etc.
2. Substance abuse, such as alcohol, hard drugs etc.
3. Emotional stress

All these issues should be addressed, while understanding that it is not the aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution that is the problem but the underlying factor.

Please enough of this “I wanna be white” mentality.

Oyinmama, Thank God for His mercy. Had your mother been on NL and asked for advice, the reetards of the board would have told her to "stay and pray about it".

Im glad she finally took the initiative to leave. Plus she's now happily remarried. Funny how those who defend monsters are the first to say "why bother leaving, you'll be alone for the rest of your life", I wonder how widows end up remarrying yet people dont have the common sense to realize that divorcees can do the same.
It's SO depressing that people would be callous to turn their backs on those who decide to leave in fear for their lives yet if they allowed themselves to die, they'd be pretending to wanna jump in with the casket. Mindless lunatics.

Btw thanks for calling walcom out on his two faced BS. 2 sides to what? why not beat up your boss or a police man when they abuse you? Awon elesu.

Which is what the thread is trying to change is it can, It been legal in Nigeria is not the issue here, This thread is trying to get answers such as how can they be prevented, who can help, what organisations and possible laws are on ground to assist people who have been in such cases etc,

Aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution my foot! You sound like another wife murderer in the making. Answer me this, do women have a right to this your aggressively oriented domestic conflict resolution system or is just for men?

dayokanu:

It would be better is both parties can act matured

Men dont raise your hand, Women dont provoke.

I think the bible somewhere says harsh words brings out anger. The way some women use their tongue on their spouse they are begging for it.

I have seen a woman who cursed not only her husband but his mother as well, Locked the door that he shouldnt leave the house and listen to her curses.

One thing is, the person you are cursing is not a piece of wood, If he cant curse you back He might use other means which includes violence.

Not condoning it but it would be better for all to work together and avoid it

men shouldn't raise their hands but women should?
what saddens me about this so called violence against women is the hypocrisy behind it.

when a man suffers torrents of abuses from his spouse, he's supposed to be a man and walk away. . . .even when a man gets slapped by his spouse, these women still expect the man to be a gentleman and turn the other cheek. . . .

have you actually seen these wives pounce on the other chics they suspect are having affairs with their husbands? the violence meted out there mocks everything you have seen in world wrestling federation. the truth is women are actually more violent. most violence in marriage are initiated by women but the moment they get overpowered by the men, they cry foul and scream their husbands have physically abused them.

there's no way any man would wake up hale and hearty to start punching his spouse. . . . .i ain't listening to such porkies.