Whats wrong with y'all saying her mother is wicked?

Bring her in ASAP! What a strange question

Women supporting their fellow women in the mud.

They just celebrated IWD yesterday


That is why i laugh whenever they celebrate IWD because its all fallacy.


Now look at them preventing their mother to stay in to allow them continue to visit men.

They know that woman is problem that is why they cannot deal with their own shït.

It is so difficult for two females to stay in one place in peace.

Do not back down or give into her manipulation. Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. You will regret it every moment if you let her bully you into getting her way. Assist her to find a living arrangement that will work for her but do not let her move in

Stillwhites:
You are a very wicked girl. You are completely stupid! You don't want to let your mother in because that your useless boss is spending the night with you always in that house and you don't want your mother to know. If you don't want to receive curses go and bring that woman in.

mumu

Don't let her in

Make sure you dont live with her..Moters tend to spoil their only child and let them live until marriageble age but she did the opposite.

Inded your mama na wahala person..

Mindlog:


This is not about gender but the personality involved. If it is about gender, there are more sons who have little or no relationship with their fathers than daughters with their mothers.

That you may have a relationship with your mother, that makes you crave to have her in your house does not mean others have the same relationship with their mothers.

When the person whose thoughts of, generates hurtful feelings happens to be your mother who ought to be your safe space....you are better off having limited contacts with her.

People pay money for therapy sessions aimed at building assertiveness to confidently walk away from their toxic parents, whose stock in trade is to emotionally blackmail them and making them feel less.

your points are valid and very meaningful,
I was only trying to point to the fact that women like fighting themselves. I.e. Wife and her mother inlaw, it's natural that ladies value their mothers, but the tide seem to be turning

I never knew most of tthe people(esp the female) that gave advice to her are just animLs in human skin. Were you not the one that celebrated WOMEN DAY yesterday.

You live in your mother's womb for 9 months ,with your BIG TOOTHED MOUTH suckle her breast 2 years plus. Pooed and pee on her for....... Years. Am sure the way you sounded she is not with your father, and you can't support her ,bringing your mother's issues to faceless forum.

Her telling you get married is not a bad idea, because you live alone and anything can happen and you're her daughter, she will not see bad things happening to you AS YOU WANT HER TO SEE.

And if you prefer to stay and be receiving your DOGGIES, REVERSE COWGIRL, BL, HEADS.......with that useless who will dump you later, Continue. KARMA IS REAL and the WALL. await you.

Stillwhites:
You are a very wicked girl. You are completely stupid! You don't want to let your mother in because that your useless boss is spending the night with you always in that house and you don't want your mother to know. If you don't want to receive curses go and bring that woman in.

You are clearly a very stupid person by nature.

Some mother's are very wicked. And if I were to be in her shoes, I won't in my wildest dreams allow my mom to come stay with me.

Rent her an apartment and live in your own in peace.

Some people will never agree to the fact that some mother's are very wicked and will drown you emotionally with their narcicism and toxicity.

Klass99:


At the bolded, seven blessings to you! Stay on this path and do you, to your heart's content. Your life is yours to build, it is not for others (or your mother in particular) to steer in whatever direction they want or she wants.

You already know she is troublesome and she will mess with your peace of mind, so please put distance between the both of you. Don't let her or anyone else guilt trip you, emotionally or spiritually blackmail you into housing her, with their theories of blood is thicker than water, family is everything or this is your mother she carried you for 9 months, did ABC and XYZ for you..........

She made a choice to birth you, she owed you a duty of care and she had a responsibility towards you as her child. So, there is nothing unique or special about what she did, it is the primary responsibility of every parent. If I were you I will insist on fixing her house or renting her an affordable place, but there is no way she will move in with me when she is not sick or dying.

Klass99,

From an empowering point of view, I think nobody owes anyone duty of care and responsibility, including the Parents.

Believing my Parents owe me duty of care and responsibility means;
- when they fail to do this, there is a reason for me to hold grudges against them. Therefore I won't spoil them when I can.
OR
- when they do, I am now constrained/obligated to help them in return even at my detriment.

Now, one argument against will be: how can a child take care of himself?
- Life will do that through strangers, organizations, etc

In summary;
- you don't owe anybody anything. But whenever you are in a position to bless others do that wholeheartedly, expecting nothing in return.

Whatever a man sows, so he shall reap.
It does not say where ever a man sows...Life determines the where.

PS: Just how my delusional brain thinks.

Rolexxxy:
I had misunderstanding with my mother couple of months ago and she sent me packing. The problem was that I am too old to live with her under the same roof. She taunts and say all manner of things that my age mates are married but I am still at home. I am 23 and a manager in a super market. My boss pays me well. With that I was able to rent my own house. I am career-focused so I don't want what will jeopardize my chances.

Last month she called and demanded to see me. After I arrived she said her house is collapsing and that she wants to move into my apartment but I rejected that idea. Instead I suggest to repair the damaged parts but she refused so we left it that way. As from last week to this week I hadn't breathe in peace as she's always on the phone disturbing me to come and take her in.

Seriously my mother is a troublesome woman, she won't give me peace of mind. I can't live with her I am tired of her emotional torment.

Please my fellow nairalanders help with a word of wisdom on how to handle this matter. I am confused and have no idea what to do.

You told us your age and where you work...but why include your boss pays you well?

There is something definitely going on between you and your boss.

Rolexxxy:
I had misunderstanding with my mother couple of months ago and she sent me packing. The problem was that I am too old to live with her under the same roof. She taunts and say all manner of things that my age mates are married but I am still at home. I am 23 and a manager in a super market. My boss pays me well. With that I was able to rent my own house. I am career-focused so I don't want what will jeopardize my chances.

Last month she called and demanded to see me. After I arrived she said her house is collapsing and that she wants to move into my apartment but I rejected that idea. Instead I suggest to repair the damaged parts but she refused so we left it that way. As from last week to this week I hadn't breathe in peace as she's always on the phone disturbing me to come and take her in.

Seriously my mother is a troublesome woman, she won't give me peace of mind. I can't live with her I am tired of her emotional torment.

Please my fellow nairalanders help with a word of wisdom on how to handle this matter. I am confused and have no idea what to do.

I think you have to be open with your mother and tell her she can move him but you will be looking for another place to stay because you can’t bear her emotional black mail anymore and you want to find another place to live or you renovate her place then you move and start living there, if she says she want to move into the house after the renovations then tell her you would be moving too because you are not a child anymore and you want to settle down like she has always wanted. Anything other than that she a Monitoring spirit. But am sure a man will come your way and she will be out of your live for Good. You have to hold your stand well or else she will destroy your future husband coming.

Allow your mom move in.
She is your mother. She won't kill you. She didn't do that when you were weak and venerable..
Even if she able to spent a year or two or three before you eventually get married you will cherished your time with her and her lessons and even her troubles you will miss. Don't listen to those naive, selfish and myopic set of people telling you not to take her in. She is not stupid. She knows what she want and to is to be with her daughter

FAMILY IS EVERYTHING.
your mom is not a witch. Don't listen to idiots

Nataliace:
I would advise you to meet your maternal uncle's and talk to them about your predicament. Don't let her in no matter what happens. Some mother's are witches, who knows if she's the one who stopped you from getting married? She explain why she doesn't want you to repair her own house and insist to live in your house. Something is fishy about her insistence to move into your apartment. Don't accept that! A word is enough for the wise.

So one day u sef go born get children. Perhaps if someone tell your very own child that you likely a witch and not care about you then maybe u will have sense.
I really don't know what is wrong with u women why y'all like fighting yourselves

Stillwhites:
You are a very wicked girl. You are completely stupid! You don't want to let your mother in because that your useless boss is spending the night with you always in that house and you don't want your mother to know. If you don't want to receive curses go and bring that woman in.

You are being biased and lacking of emotional interligence

1 she was kicked out, becoz her mother saw her as old enough to live alone

2 how would you feel to be kicked out and the same person who kicked you out now is coming to your new roof and wants to leave with you

3 thats emotional blackmail straight one minute you casted out the next they want to be close to you, worse this is your own mother the first woman you trusted first

Dont be biased

.

All Parents aren't the same. Alot of folks whose parents are responsible won't really understand this young lady ordeal.
Don't Bring your mum to stay with you...It will bring you down emotionally .
I met my wife In similar situation like you, she left home and just like you ,worked in a super store. Lived a purposeful and diligent live.
Frankly speaking you owe her nothing ,but she owe you alot.

ahnie:

Bunch of cretins I must confess.sick of reading his senseless vituperation.

I missed when sexkillz was still a mod,it's braggarts like these he doesn't waste time banning.

Ten years ban for the repeat and unrepentant offenders

Ishilove:

Ten years ban for the repeat and unrepentant offenders

That sexkill guy really doesn't ra'ye shiit
I missed his services Sha.

Oto'fe nwanne mmaru!

Klass99:


I am smiling and shaking my head, thank goodness you already know you have a delusional brain 🤣.

Relationships are a two way steeet, for them to work nicely, be mutually beneficial and mutually satisfactory, there has to be give and take, there has to be reciprocity.

In my own mind and brain, parents owe children a duty of care and responsibility, children also owe parents the same thing, especially in old age, when a parent's youth and strength are gone.

An employer owes an employee the duty of reliably paying his salary, as and when due. An employee owes an employer the duty of showing up on time, doing diligent and excellent work, and not screwing around on social media on company time.

Now, before you or anyone else calls me out on my first post or second paragraph here, let's be clear that the OP has offered to fix/repair her mom's house. She is reciprocating care and responsibility, meaning she knows she owes her mother a duty of care and is trying to do right by her mother.

However, her mother wants to forcefully have her way and dictate how OP should fulfill her duty/responsibility, which I have an issue with. She must not move in with the OP before it is said the daughter cares or is responsible.

hahahah,

You made solid points.
Let me flip them a bit;

For Relationships to be a two way street; there has to be some sort of mutual agreement, right?

For employer and employee; there is a mutual agreement bidding them.

At what point did any kid agree to be born to a certain family?

Two adults do the do, boom, a kid is here. Where is the agreement that the kids wants to be from that family?
--------
- Against old age:

Klass99, are children hedges against an adult's poorly lived life?
- what about adults that do not have kids but lived a lovely life, well loved by so many, that at age old they have too many people taking care of them?
- the world is a small family, why constrain your old age to a select few?
- and must someone come from you directly to be called your child?

The argument that you need to have kids so they can take of of you at old age is a bogus argument
- most kids (now adults) send money to their aged Parents (the good kids/adult). Which a stranger collects and acts as caregiver.
- What about the adults that don't send anything to their Parents?

Maybe we should just say Kids are part of our retirement plan. Some will pay, some won't 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️.

Just be a lovely human being jare, you will have too much people to take care of you at old age.
----

PS: Just how my delusional brain thinks.

Stillwhites:
You are a very wicked girl. You are completely stupid! You don't want to let your mother in because that your useless boss is spending the night with you always in that house and you don't want your mother to know. If you don't want to receive curses go and bring that woman in.

You're a bloody fool

Mercury12:
Allow your mom move in.
She is your mother. She won't kill you. She didn't do that when you were weak and venerable..
Even if she able to spent a year or two or three before you eventually get married you will cherished your time with her and her lessons and even her troubles you will miss. Don't listen to those naive, selfish and myopic set of people telling you not to take her in. She is not stupid. She knows what she want and to is to be with her daughter

FAMILY IS EVERYTHING.
your mom is not a witch. Don't listen to idiots

Family is not everything to some people because of horrifying things perpetuated by family members.

OP is not obligated to continue enabling her toxicity, why should she live with someone who emotionally drains her?

I know for certain that, if Nigeria's economy was good and a young person of 18 years old can easily get a job that pays at least N25k monthly and renting an accommodation is paid monthly , I know for a fact many of them would prefer partnering with a friend and go rent a room than staying with their parents, reason it is very common among Kenya's young adults in urban areas leave home to get their own space as it is very common seeing a 20 year old Kenyan living on her own, in the same city with her parents.

.

Klass99:


I like how your delusional brain worked in this second post, btter than the first one. I can't argue too much because you made valid points too.

However........the argument that a child didn't ask to be born and as such doesn't owe his parents anything, is bullshit and more shit. It doesn't hold sway with me. Meaning no offence to you, but to the general idea behind that theory.

Granted, we didn't ask to be born but now that we are here, alive and well, enjoying good times, facing bad times but conquering, making and spending money, taking ice cream, straffing and TLCing, are we glad to experience this earthly life or not?

If you even have or had good parents who did right and did well by you, provided comfort and wonderful life experiences to the best of their ability, that bullshit ideology should not be found anywhere near you or in your vocabulary. I'm speaking generally and not specifically to you.

hahahah,
now Klass99 you are being sentimental and emotional. Relax

Don't worry I don't take it personal, my delusional brain always knows it is wrong and ready to learn.
But you have to have make an argument Klass, no sentiment/emotion/blackmail.

My assertion, that you don't owe your Parents anything does not mean you should not take care of them when you are in the position to do that.
My delusional brain is only saying do good not from an obligatory point of view. No guilt trip.

Whether you have a good or bad Parents, both desire to be loved when it's in your power.
It has nothing to do with what they did for you or didn't do.

If you are going to be a kind person, be kind irrespective of what anyone did or didn't do.

The whole world is a small family.

Question Klass: what if someone had a terrible Parents, should that Parents not be loved and cared for as well?
- yes or no, what is your rational behind that?

Remember no emotion/sentiment; my delusional brain wants to learn.
Thanks

PS: Just how my delusional brain thinks.

Failure2019:
She's your mom , let her into your home but you talk to her about it and tell you've rules and regulations in your house and if she'll abide by it then she's free to stay in your house


You better spend time with her before she's no more


You gonna regret spending time with your mom when she japa this world

Why do people love to say this shit?

Instead, the mother should have been nicer, the kids have limited time to spend with her because they're going to move out one day and start their own lives.

Cutehector:
Women supporting their fellow women in the mud.

They just celebrated IWD yesterday


That is why i laugh whenever they celebrate IWD because its all fallacy.


Now look at them preventing their mother to stay in to allow them continue to visit men.

They know that woman is problem that is why they cannot deal with their own shït.

It is so difficult for two females to stay in one place in peace.

Even if this was the case, is it a crime? isn't she grown?

Mmm when I hear story like this my respect for my mum keep increasing , She is the best & cool mum I ever have & she always gives us that respect.

Stillwhites:
You are a very wicked girl. You are completely stupid! You don't want to let your mother in because that your useless boss is spending the night with you always in that house and you don't want your mother to know. If you don't want to receive curses go and bring that woman in.

Sentiments kill your there!!

Rolexxxy:
I had misunderstanding with my mother couple of months ago and she sent me packing. The problem was that I am too old to live with her under the same roof. She taunts and say all manner of things that my age mates are married but I am still at home. I am 23 and a manager in a super market. My boss pays me well. With that I was able to rent my own house. I am career-focused so I don't want what will jeopardize my chances.

Last month she called and demanded to see me. After I arrived she said her house is collapsing and that she wants to move into my apartment but I rejected that idea. Instead I suggest to repair the damaged parts but she refused so we left it that way. As from last week to this week I hadn't breathe in peace as she's always on the phone disturbing me to come and take her in.

Seriously my mother is a troublesome woman, she won't give me peace of mind. I can't live with her I am tired of her emotional torment.

Please my fellow nairalanders help with a word of wisdom on how to handle this matter. I am confused and have no idea what to do.

Seun Mynd44 nlfpmod Dominique push this post to front page for a wider audience.

Rolexxxy:
I had misunderstanding with my mother couple of months ago and she sent me packing. The problem was that I am too old to live with her under the same roof. She taunts and say all manner of things that my age mates are married but I am still at home. I am 23 and a manager in a super market. My boss pays me well. With that I was able to rent my own house. I am career-focused so I don't want what will jeopardize my chances.

Last month she called and demanded to see me. After I arrived she said her house is collapsing and that she wants to move into my apartment but I rejected that idea. Instead I suggest to repair the damaged parts but she refused so we left it that way. As from last week to this week I hadn't breathe in peace as she's always on the phone disturbing me to come and take her in.

Seriously my mother is a troublesome woman, she won't give me peace of mind. I can't live with her I am tired of her emotional torment.

Please my fellow nairalanders help with a word of wisdom on how to handle this matter. I am confused and have no idea what to do.

This is the kind of issues that makes me tired

Let me not say what is in my mind

Stillwhites:
You are a very wicked girl. You are completely stupid! You don't want to let your mother in because that your useless boss is spending the night with you always in that house and you don't want your mother to know. If you don't want to receive curses go and bring that woman in.

You sound so bitter. Do you know that there are wicked mothers?

She misses you but letting her in won't help you on the long run. Unless you are willing to sacrifice your peace for a few years of torture. She is lonely.