Please religious folk, don't patronize the idea of the topic with catch-phrases, clichés and talking points of "God always answers etc etc".

Obviously God does NOT always answer when you pray (just flip through the book of Psalms for some examples). I'd like to know how people have dealt with it. What lessons did you learn? Did it eventually work out for your good? or was it bad? Were you frustrated? Disappointed? Angry? Did you approach it as a test of your faith? If so, how do you think you fared? What is your advice to people who may be in a such a situation?

Please do share. Thanks!

I've been praying about an issue for years and got nothing but silence. I'd pray for something else and bam, God would respond with unmistakable clarity. It's quite remarkable honestly. I've run the gamut of emotions from solid faith to frustration to disappointment to resignation to "God are you playing with me?" (lol) back to faith.

I still don't have an answer. Except for that sometimes you don't need to know the destination before you can start walking. But beyond that, I am reminded that He is God. He is God . . . does He really need to give us any other answer besides that? I am reminded to not let emotions overrule experience. And that what we've come to know as truth does not change with season or time or circumstance or a lack of answers.

---

I came across this fantastic article on the subject of which I've posted the conclusion. Its definitely worth the long read on the website. http://tcpiii.tripod.com/ps77.htm

When God Doesn't Answer
A Sermon by Coty Pinckney on Psalm 77. Community Bible Church, Williamstown, MA 8/11/96

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CONCLUSION

Let's step back and talk about ourselves. These emotions, these feelings of being abandoned by God, of God not answering our prayers, will come. If you haven't experienced them, I can promise you that you will at some point in your life, probably at multiple points in your life. God tells us in Isaiah 55, "My ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts," and it is for that very reason that we cannot fathom, we cannot understand the way God works, the mysterious way in which God works in our lives. Because God is so far above us, so much greater than us, he is mysterious to us. Was God there for this Psalmist? Yes! All night long while he was crying out, God was there, God was there! But for his own sovereign purposes, God chose not to remove that sense of fear, that emotion from the Psalmist. Perhaps the Psalmist needed to learn to trust God when the circumstances didn't warrant that trust.

God's way is frequently through the sea, through the difficulties that refine us, that cause us to trust him. We see that in many Bible characters: in David, Jeremiah, Daniel, Hananiah, Azariah, Mishael, Paul, Elijah, in Jesus himself.

How will you respond the next time? The Christian who has learned to trust God in all circumstances will not be led astray by a promise of health, of wealth, and security once you go through some religious experience. Our relationship to God like our relationships to our husbands and wives, is not one of going through a ceremony and then living happily ever after. But like marriage our relationship to God will have its ups and downs, it will have its low points and its high points. God is always there, despite our feelings; that's what we can depend on. We need to hold onto his past deeds. But the emotions will come -- sometimes caused by what we ate for dinner, sometimes caused by the personal tragedies that accompany life in this world. The emotions will come. This Psalm is telling us that we need not be governed by those emotions. When we are faced with this, we need to recollect the solid rock of God's faithfulness, and to know that even when we don't sense his presence, even when we don't feel his love, he is there.

Its always a win-win situation for god. If we get the things we pray fro we thank him, if we dont get it, we justify his refusal and still thank him.
A fatal accident occurs, five people die and one survives. The survivor and is family sing praises to god for his survival. The family of the dead weep, mourn, blame the devil , say only god knows best and then thanks god for all his mercies.
If at the end, god will do his will(which may not always be at our advantage), then what is the relevance of prayer?
Let thy will be done should be the only valid prayer.

globexl:

Its always a win-win situation for god. If we get the things we pray fro we thank him, if we dont get it, we justify his refusal and still thank him.
A fatal accident occurs, five people die and one survives. The survivor and is family sing praises to god for his survival. The family of the dead weep, mourn, blame the devil , say only god knows best and then thanks god for all his mercies.
If at the end, god will do his will(which may not always be at our advantage), then what is the relevance of prayer?
Let thy will be done should be the only valid prayer.

Infact you have raised some fantastic points for sober consideration. I'd like to see some of the christian/religious folks in the house address this.

sometimes prayers are answered but not in the way we want [or expect], so we consider them unanswered.

OP it says in the bible that God knows even before you ask. Why then bother. Again the point was raised about the win win situation. There are a lot of escape outlets for God such as lack of faith, or the prayer not being the will of God. In such a case wont it be better to just let things be according to his will ?

When does a prayer expire ? I make this observation. I believe most folks pray at night before they sleep and early the next morning. Now does the prayer cover one from night till morning and also from morning till niight ? I ask because it seems to be a habit of some folks (if they are telling me the truth). Inspite of prayers, some folks still die in their sleep or the next morning sometime after prayer. Does this mean the prayer expired somewhere along the line. A practical person like me would advocate only one prayer to cover a lifetime, afterall as the bible says, he knows s all before we ask it, so why bother, especially when over half the things will clash with his will.

Just some unorganised thoughts.

other reasons for unanswered prayer include asking with wrong motives, living in sin, etc etc. James 4 :3.


sometimes what we're asking for might simply not be God's will.

God answers all prayers. His answer varies. 3 categories:
1. Yes child, here it is
2. No child, I have a better plan
3. Wait child, not now.

How do I know if it's NO or WAIT? I never know.
My response? Frustration, abandonment, insecurity. Have I sinned badly? Did I say wrong prayers? I never know. But let me address some issues here:

1. Prayers are important. Yes, God know all we need even before we pray but he still insists that we must ask. Prayers is like tellin God that you depend on his help to solve a problem. Also that communication with God increases intimacy with HIM.
2. Unlike most Xtians, unanswered prayers don't make me stronger.(lol). They make me weak, I loose faith, get frustrated, blame God, once I almost said bad things about God( I've beenasking for forgiveness since then, the guilt is so heavy on me, and any bad thing that happens to me now I easily trace it to the bad words I used for God)

What do I do? No idea. Fortunately, I have no other God. So after all the cursing, I'll come back to my knees. Lol.

I hope I helped answer our question( I don't think I helped though )

Have a great day

Whatever you're praying for had been given in christ, how strong is your faith in christ to revive it. There are things we can't recieve until our faith matures to lay hold on them. The question is about our RECIEVING .

Pres_elect has in my estimation, given the best answer here though I disagree with his expansion of (2).

IF the relationship is there (IF IF IF) between you & the Spirit of God, a prompting ought to be there giving assurance that there is a reason for "denial" - your safety, another's safety, a larger picture, a hiding (arrow in quiver) etc! Having assurance of a relationship, such prompting should push us to rather than ask for why, seek for "what else"? I remember someone, a masters degree holder in Linguistics, who kept dreaming of carpentry whenever he prayed for prosperity. Every attempt he made to get a job failed even when he was ready to teach!

He ended up a multi-millionaire "designer" of furniture. He didn't have to use a hammer (which was his dsgust) but yes, carpentry was it! Anyone familiar with ibadan challenge area in the early 90s will know the Hi-Tech showrooms.

This then is God's "NO" - something else (usually better) is in the offing.

Sadly, man (a worm, according to scripture) has the tendency to think himself above his boots and so you hear daft stuff like its about your faith. Which is easily disproved - 5 of us want the same contract from government and ALL are Christians. But the one with the least faith is brother to the person handling the contract PLUS he also supplies the lowest quote, has a promise from God and has the most experience - Are you saying "faith" will over-ride competence, connection, best proposal AND God's promise? That's why it is called time and chance - there is a time for everything under the sun!

nuclearboy:

Pres_elect has in my estimation, given the best answer here though I disagree with his expansion of (2).

IF the relationship is there (IF IF IF) between you & the Spirit of God, a prompting ought to be there giving assurance that there is a reason for "denial" - your safety, another's safety, a larger picture, a hiding (arrow in quiver) etc! Having assurance of a relationship, such prompting should push us to rather than ask for why, seek for "what else"?

President nuclearboy, I think it is only fair to say that we don't always know every outcome or every reason for unanswered prayers (or rather, 'denials') - and there are many instances in life to bear that point out so well. David had a relationship with God, but his fasting and prayers to save his child's life was 'denied' (2 Sam. 12:13-19). Some may argue that a reason was indeed given, such that God denied David's prayers on account of the latter's sin. But it is obvious that his sin was "put away", as Nathan said. Etc., etc., etc.

What happens then today in the situations where some parents lose their newborn kids - where sin or blasphemy is not even in view? I'm talking about Christian parents/couples. I know some deaths that have occured in the lives of very committed and exemplary Christian couples - and nobody to this day knows any 'reason' for the deaths of their young kids.

In other circumstances, some exemplary Christian couples have fasted and prayed for something they so longed for: children. They've been to their GPs and taken all the necessary tests, with results that there's nothing wrong with them to prevent their bearing children. Yet, for all those long years of fasting and praying (with FAITH), plus medical help. . . they still have no children. What do you say to such exemplary Christian couples? That God has a "reason"? And what "reason" is that supposed to be?

The bottom line is that we do not know nor understand the many mysteries of our faith and relationship with God. There are certain situations where we can absolutely be sure that our prayers are unanswered - not 'yes', not 'wait', but a definite NO. Not because it involves sin (some people face unfavourable situations without factoring in sin' - John 9:2-3) , and not because the prayers lacked faith or spiritual knowledge. It would be harum-scarum and slapdash to argue that every prayer is answered, or that we would know the 'reason(s)' for those which are 'denied'. Some we know, others we absolutely have no clue and should not even try to be clever about them. 'We know in part. . . we see through a glass, darkly' (1 Cor. 13:9 &12).

^^ sorry

I said a true personal relationship would prompt individual to accept\understand and have peace that there is reason for denial! That DENIAL is thus (to that understanding believing Christian) based on God's Sovereignty rather than faith as I go on to say.

"pres-elect" sees denial as painful and I only tried to show another "face" to it. So I honestly wonder what you are about since we more or less said practically the same thing.

^^
But you expressed a disagreement with his expansion of (2). I think there's more than the 3 possible answers that pres_elect gave. I suggest a fourth:

1. Yes
2. No/denial
3. Wait - be patient
4. Silence - when God says absolutely nothing.

While God's sovereignty and our relationship with Him are not at all in question in all cases, in reality we do not always know what reason there is in a no/denial situation. We may try to think that we have the assurance that there is a reason, but in all honesty what "reason" can we be assured of behind those denials, such as in the examples in my previous comment?

nuclearboy:

"pres-elect" sees denial as painful and I only tried to show another "face" to it. So I honestly wonder what you are about since we more or less said practically the same thing.

On the whole, denial is painful - no gainsaying that, unless the one who disagrees has himself never experienced deep denial ever in life. I could even make bold to say that almost every denial is indeed painful, and there are experiences in life that we can't even ask "what else?" Questions of "why" are quite legitimate (even though many Christians have been brought up traditionally to never ask such questions, as they fear it borders on 'challenging' God or even blaspheming).

@wordtalk:

His point was that denial is ALWAYS painful. Mine remains 2 things - (a). that it is NOT ALWAYS and that many times, there is a silver lining in the cloud. (b) even when its flat out painful, "TRUST" gotten from such relationship, ought help understanding that in His Sovereignty, God has reason. Which is why I gave examples like "the safety of others" etc.

I guess my post should be clearer now cos it seems you took just the "better alternative" portion rather than the entire post.

^^ I get your point and I'll leave it at that.

Btw, 2 and 4 are practically the same thing 95% of the time.

Concerning your previous examples, I would have preferred to be mute because of the fear of being seen as callous or insensitive! But I also know people closer to me than is comfortable, who have gone through such and worse.

Some eventually found solutions whist others have not. What I know has brought me to the point where I return deep inside and remember - "shall the judge of the whole earth not do right"?

Maybe you should answer that in light of curses, ancestral covenants, ignorance and many times, things we did earlier and have an "accouning" for!

One example

Dude and 2 friends forcibly have carnal knowledge of a young girl whist drunk in university. Bottom line is she can't have babies ever due to a long chain of events following that event.

She commits suicide because they denied it and with them coming from "big" families, her coming from the dregs and Nigeria's police ability to judge on the basis of cash dropped, she again is under threat. PS: she was an only child and the father died soon after. Following that, her mother became "mad"!

When dude wanted to marry, his fiancée kept having strange dreams of a woman chasing him with a knife but hey, she's in love so she ignored and married him! Its 8 years and no sign of pregnancy though they both "confessed" Jesus and are "born again"!

1. Did God know they would become "born again" (their present claim)?
2. Why was she warned there was clear and engoing danger when God knew they would accept Christ?
3. His becoming born-again (apparently) clears his for forgiveness. Does it ALSO clear him of the effects of his actions?

He has matured into a very responsible nice guy who currently assists a pastor of a large congregation. Very few of his parishioners see past his current "niceness" and have any idea of his past!

I have NO proof that's why they have this problem but I wonder. But I know God is Just!

Forgive the nature of my contribution but I sincerely hope it benefits someone - anyone.

We Cannot Measure How You Heal

We cannot measure how you heal
or answer every sufferer's prayer,
yet we believe your grace responds
where faith and doubt unite to care.
Your hands, though bloodied on the cross
survive to hold and heal and warn,
to carry all through death to life
and cradle children yet unborn.

The pain that will not go away,
the guilt that clings from things long past,
the fear of what the future holds
are present as if meant to last.
But present too is love which tends
the hurt we never hoped to find,
the private agonies inside
the memories that haunt the mind.

So some have come who need your help,
and some have come to make amends,
as hands which shaped and saved the world
are present in the touch of friends.
Lord, let your Spirit meet us here
to mend the body, mind and soul,
to disentangle peace from pain
and make your broken people whole

[flash=400,300]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewrR6yIWa68[/flash]

If only we said 'thy will be done' and meant it.

Take a cue from Jesus himself: Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me, however, not my will but yours be done.

He suffered and died, But then he went on into eternal glory.

Many of us these days don't want to suffer any thing.

The bible is very clear on how prayers are supposed to work. . . .According to the bible faith is all that is needed. . . .

If the bible is true then Christians are NOT supposed to be complaining about unanswered prayers. . .The bible is VERY CLEAR about prayers and how they are supposed to work. . . .

I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21:21


Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Mark 11:24

"Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in my name, I will do it, that the Father may be glorified in the Son; if you ask anything in my name, I will do it." John 14: 12-14

If the bible is true then Christians that truly believe and have faith are not supposed to be complaining about unanswered prayers. . . . .

This version now includes the 2nd verse which was missing in the earlier version.

[flash=400,300]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXt8QjSUsv8[/flash]

@mazaje:

Thanks for joining in. What then would you say when balance is shown when the Bible says "you ask and receive not because you ask amiss"

Truth is you select verses that tend to extremism and dogmatism AND are supported by the criminals for whom this is business and who manipulate without looking at the Spirit behind the words

Much has already been said, do permit me to add though,
"And WE KNOW that IN ALL THINGS God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28NIV). There are many facets to what we call unanswered prayers. Many times we miss it because we're not/we've not walked in the Spirit but in the flesh. Our relationship with God is similar to a parent-child relationship. It is also likened to a radio-channel relationship.
Stumbling blocks vary in various situations. Sometimes the block is so big it seems like a mountain to us. Sometimes, we're supposed to lift the block, other times, we should climb the mountain, other times, we should walk round and go away. But we usually stand quoting and scabbashing 'o God give me this mountain. This mountain must remove. O Lord God, you said . .
Let's walk in the Spirit.

Great post, Image!

I hope the "scabashers" will grow up and develop real teeth rather than insisting its them will move the mountain

God answered all prayer made to him either by yes, no or wait. but we all expect God to answer in our favour. God is beautiful in all situation; he will only answer yes if it is accordinging to his 'will'.
we have a responsibilty to find out why is not answering yes when we want him to.

if u have prayed and it seems no answer is coming forth, praise him.

nuclearboy:

@mazaje:

Thanks for joining in. What then would you say when balance is shown when the Bible says "you ask and receive not because you ask amiss"

Truth is you select verses that tend to extremism and dogmatism AND are supported by the criminals for whom this is business and who manipulate without looking at the Spirit behind the words

Your welcome. . . .The thing is those verses are in the bible and are alleged to have been spoken by Jesus himself. . .He said if you truly believe what ever you ask for will be given to you. . . .Am not talking about people that ask for wealth(by the way there is nothing wrong in being rich) am talking about people that pray for protection or healing for their innocent children. . . .Once a very good friend of mine who is an exemplary christian prayed in my presence for protection against accident for him and his family before they embarked on a journey to Abuja.They were 4 in the car him, his daughter that was 3 years old at that time, his wife and his younger sister. . .Along the way they had a very bad accident, his daughter is now blind in one eye and broke so many bones, his wife broke her hip bone and some other bones, he broke both legs, his younger sister was paralyzed. . .They are all ok now after very expensive medical treatment in Germany. . .They are no longer the way they were before but they all can walk on their own( him and his wife still limp though) only for the younger sister that is still on wheel chair. . .There are uncountable stories and cases like this that happen every day and all the time to very true believers. . . . .

Asking for God to protect you on a journey is not asking amiss is it?. . . .What exactly are God's plans for a person to remain on a wheel chair for the rest of his/her life? How does that help the persons belief or glorify God the way many people always say? Even Jesus was written to have said that whatever you ask in his  name, he will do it, that the Father may be glorified, no?. . . . .They are verses in the bible that talk about God protecting his own the way a father will protect his children. . . .If the bible is true then why are we not seeing these things happening?. . . .

nuclearboy:

Great post, Image!

I hope the "scabashers" will grow up and develop real teeth rather than insisting its them will move the mountain

AMEN.

@mazaje:

Sad - your friends story!!

But let me ask (and please allow me a caveat based on the insensitivity I adduced to earlier) --> the example I gave above - is that guy amiss from our me or you, with the extent of our understanding and knowledge) POV, to ask to have a child from a JUST GOD?

The story is above

@poster
Am sincerely sorry for you I remember that over a year ago you said in a thread that you had been waiting for god to answer your prayer for something that you had been praying for, for the past 3 months. So up till now god hasn't answered your prayers? Am curious to know but you don't have to answer my question What was it that you were praying for?

O Jesus,
tears on my pillow,
pain in my heart,
you on my mind

Wonderful contributions from everyone, both believers and otherwise.

pres-elect:

God answers all prayers. His answer varies. 3 categories:
1. Yes child, here it is
2. No child, I have a better plan
3. Wait child, not now.

How do I know if it's NO or WAIT? I never know.
My response? Frustration, abandonment, insecurity. Have I sinned badly? Did I say wrong prayers? I never know. But let me address some issues here:

1. Prayers are important. Yes, God know all we need even before we pray but he still insists that we must ask. Prayers is like tellin God that you depend on his help to solve a problem. Also that communication with God increases intimacy with HIM.
2. Unlike most Xtians, unanswered prayers don't make me stronger.(lol). They make me weak, I loose faith, get frustrated, blame God, once I almost said bad things about God( I've beenasking for forgiveness since then, the guilt is so heavy on me, and any bad thing that happens to me now I easily trace it to the bad words I used for God)

What do I do? No idea. Fortunately, I have no other God. So after all the cursing, I'll come back to my knees. Lol.

I hope I helped answer our question( I don't think I helped though )

Have a great day

  On the contrary, you have. Just to know (even as I already do) that other christians sometimes struggle on these points - but yet still find the faith to rest and trust in God anyways is . . . a blessing. I think more than anything, we can help each other deal with the emotions as you & I mentioned that we go through.

On another side, you said the answer is either ¹ Yes ² No ³ Wait . . . I'm saying in the title that there is a 4th . . . SILENCE, no response at all, which I think is the hardest of all.

---

 

wordtalk:

President nuclearboy, I think it is only fair to say that we don't always know every outcome or every reason for unanswered prayers (or rather, 'denials') - and there are many instances in life to bear that point out so well. David had a relationship with God, but his fasting and prayers to save his child's life was 'denied' (2 Sam. 12:13-19). Some may argue that a reason was indeed given, such that God denied David's prayers on account of the latter's sin. But it is obvious that his sin was "put away", as Nathan said. Etc., etc., etc.

What happens then today in the situations where some parents lose their newborn kids - where sin or blasphemy is not even in view? I'm talking about Christian parents/couples. I know some deaths that have occured in the lives of very committed and exemplary Christian couples - and nobody to this day knows any 'reason' for the deaths of their young kids.

In other circumstances, some exemplary Christian couples have fasted and prayed for something they so longed for: children. They've been to their GPs and taken all the necessary tests, with results that there's nothing wrong with them to prevent their bearing children. Yet, for all those long years of fasting and praying (with FAITH), plus medical help. . . they still have no children. What do you say to such exemplary Christian couples? That God has a "reason"? And what "reason" is that supposed to be?

The bottom line is that we do not know nor understand the many mysteries of our faith and relationship with God. There are certain situations where we can absolutely be sure that our prayers are unanswered - not 'yes', not 'wait', but a definite NO. Not because it involves sin (some people face unfavourable situations without factoring in sin' - John 9:2-3) , and not because the prayers lacked faith or spiritual knowledge. It would be harum-scarum and slapdash to argue that every prayer is answered, or that we would know the 'reason(s)' for those which are 'denied'. Some we know, others we absolutely have no clue and should not even try to be clever about them. 'We know in part. . . we see through a glass, darkly' (1 Cor. 13:9 &12).

Wordtalk thank you very much for this.

I'd like to give a slightly different angle for all our consideration. Thus far we've mainly been talking about asking God for 'things' . . . personally, I've been asking for 'direction' and 'guidance' on a particular issue - and got no answer. So I just wanted to inject into the conversation another aspect of prayer that is not exactly asking for a 'thing'.

manmustwac:

@poster
Am sincerely sorry for you I remember that over a year ago you said in a thread that you had been waiting for god to answer your prayer for something that you had been praying for, for the past 3 months. So up till now god hasn't answered your prayers? Am curious to know but you don't have to answer my question What was it that you were praying for?

Ah! MMW please don't feel sorry for me at all sir! I am quite possibly the most blessed person on the face of the earth. I have not want of anything my heart has desired that I need aside this - and in the big picture it is but a small portion. Ah! if you only knew dude how good God has done me. If I start to say all the blessings I may use up all of Seun's bandwidth lol. And I mean so honestly.

  I am glad non-christians are on this thread. So you guys can get a peek at some of the struggles we go through, so you can know we're still just regular human beings just you.

I don't recall the thread. It could very well be the same thing. As I remarked to WT, I haven't been asking for a thing or blessing (as blessed as I am, what is there to ask for?) - I've been asking for guidance and direction on a particular issue.