₦airaland Forum

i am just laughing my @ off

Examine the Timing, Context [/b]and [b]Tone [/b]of your speech, Are you asking a question? are you making an accusation or are you stating the fact. Nigerians (Especially Women of the East-West-South) are the only people I know who will ask you what seems a simple question but it will come off as a damning accusation

[b]Timing: Are you "nagging" at the wrong time? have you looked into his eyes before pulling out the Nag-cannon? Timing is important especially when you are married and live in the same house   choose a less-volatile time of the day (Weekends after Lunch or at Night, definitely not a Sunday).  But there are issues that must be discussed Timing or no Timing  - Like the Female Perfume all over his body  

Context This is when you say something but mean something else. Nigerian women are guilty of making up sentences with lazy words and they also compound issues by not thinking it through before they speak - If you doubt me, face a hungry policeman without your driver's license and you will see how he unwinds you using your own responses to his simple questions   Take time out to gather your thoughts and think of what you will say and all the possible responses you will receive and repeat your question with the benefit of having played around with the various responses you think your husband will put up.

Tone It is often said that Women are Emotional; Men are but you just need to hit the right (any button really) button - truth is most men express their emotions like children. Anger, Cynicism and Petulance. It is common for Men to get on the defensive when your tone of voice sounds like you are on the offensive. When they have heard your peace - they will launch back aggressively. this is when everything from your mouth becomes nagging.

Examples
Situation
You smell an unmistakable Female perfume on him and it is not heavy like it was sprayed - it is subtle like he hugged and rubbed some under-graduate chick before coming home that Night  
1st Response
Do not do anything confrontational at this point, rather pretend you did not smell it and ask him how the day at work went and how nice he smells
2nd Response
If it is a trend (it has happened more than twice, then it is TIME to break out the mortar pestle   No questions are needed at this point

Have you ever met someone who is annoyingly honest? Someone who will never lie even if it to save his life. Well dats my husband, he will never lie and contrary to popular oppinion honesty is not always good oh, it can be embarassing, he is the kind of man that if armed robbers attack and ask you where the money is? He will actually tell them how much he has and where it is. If a neighbor or relative asks if something they are wearing is nice he will tell you the truth if its nice its nice if its not he will tell you. Imagine spending the whole day in d salon and come back home and ask him"how do I look?" He will say that hair is horrible. He simply doesn't understand d need to lie diplomatically or a white lie, when he knows sometimes saying d truth will hurt he will rather not say anything but he will not lie. His brothers didn't like to play with him when dey were kids cos he will always rat them out, my Dad gave me money to take my son for holidays abroad I collected the money and chopped even bought my husband some shirts to buy his silence my dad came for a visit and asked me how the holiday I said very nice then he turned to my husband and commented that my husband must have missed us my husband told him we didn't go anywhere oh, we stayed here and spent ther money and told my dad that I even bought him four shirts from d money. Imagine

debrief08:
Have you ever met someone who is annoyingly honest? Someone who will never lie even if it to save his life. Well dats my husband, he will never lie and contrary to popular oppinion honesty is not always good oh, it can be embarassing, he is the kind of man that if armed robbers attack and ask you where the money is? He will actually tell them how much he has and where it is. If a neighbor or relative asks if something they are wearing is nice he will tell you the truth if its nice its nice if its not he will tell you. Imagine spending the whole day in d salon and come back home and ask him"how do I look?" He will say that hair is horrible. He simply doesn't understand d need to lie diplomatically or a white lie, when he knows sometimes saying d truth will hurt he will rather not say anything but he will not lie. His brothers didn't like to play with him when dey were kids cos he will always rat them out, my Dad gave me money to take my son for holidays abroad I collected the money and chopped even bought my husband some shirts to buy his silence my dad came for a visit and asked me how the holiday I said very nice then he turned to my husband and commented that my husband must have missed us my husband told him we didn't go anywhere oh, we stayed here and spent ther money and told my dad that I even bought him four shirts from d money. Imagine

this really cracked me up, lwkmd o
your hubby is funny o, after he collected the bribe, still rats u out rotfl

.

@CC,

Place the container on the staircase on every step

horny4u:
Just curious !
Is your zodiac sign Sagittarius ?
you remind me of my sis

Nope, why?

Have you ever met someone who is annoyingly honest? Someone who will never lie even if it to save his life. Well dats my husband, he will never lie and contrary to popular oppinion honesty is not always good oh, it can be embarassing, he is the kind of man that if armed robbers attack and ask you where the money is? He will actually tell them how much he has and where it is. If a neighbor or relative asks if something they are wearing is nice he will tell you the truth if its nice its nice if its not he will tell you. Imagine spending the whole day in d salon and come back home and ask him"how do I look?" He will say that hair is horrible. He simply doesn't understand d need to lie diplomatically or a white lie, when he knows sometimes saying d truth will hurt he will rather not say anything but he will not lie. His brothers didn't like to play with him when dey were kids cos he will always rat them out, my Dad gave me money to take my son for holidays abroad I collected the money and chopped even bought my husband some shirts to buy his silence my dad came for a visit and asked me how the holiday I said very nice then he turned to my husband and commented that my husband must have missed us my husband told him we didn't go anywhere oh, we stayed here and spent ther money and told my dad that I even bought him four shirts from d money. Imagine

lady please count yourself a very lucky lady, my husband will tell the stupidest (if there is any word like this) of lie to save his face. every blame, mistake, wrongdoing goes to someone else.

debrief08:
Have you ever met someone who is annoyingly honest? Someone who will never lie even if it to save his life. Well dats my husband, he will never lie and contrary to popular oppinion honesty is not always good oh, it can be embarassing, he is the kind of man that if armed robbers attack and ask you where the money is? He will actually tell them how much he has and where it is. If a neighbor or relative asks if something they are wearing is nice he will tell you the truth if its nice its nice if its not he will tell you. Imagine spending the whole day in d salon and come back home and ask him"how do I look?" He will say that hair is horrible. He simply doesn't understand d need to lie diplomatically or a white lie, when he knows sometimes saying d truth will hurt he will rather not say anything but he will not lie. His brothers didn't like to play with him when dey were kids cos he will always rat them out, my Dad gave me money to take my son for holidays abroad I collected the money and chopped even bought my husband some shirts to buy his silence my dad came for a visit and asked me how the holiday I said very nice then he turned to my husband and commented that my husband must have missed us my husband told him we didn't go anywhere oh, we stayed here and spent ther money and told my dad that I even bought him four shirts from d money. Imagine

I think u have the best husband any woman would pray for. I wish had that kind of character in mine

CC, for most men, I can truly say we don't deliberately do those stuff.  I guess that is why we are human afterall.  Our spouses are suitable helps.  Come to think of it, who would have organised our homes and keep them well if not our wives?  Instead of seeing those trivial things as big issues, spouses should see them as opportunities to help organise the other.

No one is perfect.  Every spouse should create a space in their hearts to accommodate each other's flaws.  That room should be there, full of deposits of love and mercy.  Each time those flaws appear, just dip into  that space and draw some more love and mercy for your partner.  If he were perfect, he wouldn't need you.  In fact, you wouldn't have married him!

I don't know how many can marry a perfect partner!  You come into the house, it's so perfectly clean.  Nothing to mop, nothing to sweep.  Kitchen sparkles, rooms so tidy you wouldn't know someone lives in there, beds ever laid, no dangling cables, no running water, no misplaced books, everything in its place and all the time.  Nothing to discuss about because all points are clearly understood, nothing to get angry about because it's all smiles 24/7, no questions asked because there are no answers required, and on and on.  Think about it, that will be a boring place!!

That sounds so automated and mechanised, robotic that is!  Angel-perfect.  In fact, the only perfect beings are angels.  So perfect they don't and can't, live here on earth!  They will be so useless here.  No wonder they can't even marry!     What a priviledge we have as humans!

@ analytical, I see your point. It's sometimes tiring though. Esp wen the other party doesn't understand when you do the same. E.g, my hubby can't stand it when d whole place is scattered whereas he contributed 75% of the clutter

queend:
I think u have the best husband any woman would pray for. I wish had that kind of character in mine

queend,

no man is perfect. I'm sure there is an element of good no matter how bad. Some people might be wishing for your kinda hubby from afar.

Tgirl u r right. he has some other great characters too. And I have come to find out that most times he does that to protect me. I prefer the whole truth no matter how hard.

Tgirl4real:
@ analytical, I see your point. It's sometimes tiring though. Esp wen the other party doesn't understand when you do the same.

Tgirl4real, I am not implying spouses should carry on their annoying habits at the expense of the other.  That won't be fair on the spouse at the receiving end.  I am only advocating for understanding and tolerance between spouses, especially since we all have our flaws as humans.

So true