His guys,
This will be a bit long, but I ask for your honest, well meaning opinion.
Firstly, my approach to dating is to date to marry.
I'm 28 and she's 26. We are both professionals in our fields and we live outside Nigeria

We started dating a couple of months ago and she has expressed to me that she doesn't want to have sex or do anything sexual before marriage, which I thought of deeply and accepted.

She also has said things like she would like yo adopt a child one day, she would get a cook in the house and some strong religious beliefs as well, all of which I've been thinking about.

In recent times however, I haven't been able to stomach something and have spoken out. Please see below for some occasions:

1. Thursday 26/04/23:

She had suggested that we involve God in what we were doing about our relationship and that she needed to pray about it and get His direction before going forward with the relationship. I agreed and told her to take all the time she needed, that I’ll also do the same.

We didn’t talk for a few days and I had a truly intense session with God where I had driven my car out to a secluded area and prayed and called on him for my direction.
She later called me on Sunday, 3 days after we went mute, while I was at work (night shift) and said she had prayed about it and that she liked many things about me and that these are the things she would want in a husband, but that my faith is the one thing that isn't as strong and that it is something she wasn’t sure about. I listened and we discussed where I was with the Catholic Church and my transition and open mindedness in search for the truth and where to serve God. She then suggestef some books and also sent me a testimony from her mum. She then explained the other things she got from her break, but still sounded unsure whethet she wanted this relationship. Towards the end of our conversation, it dawned on me that we had spoken about her experience and her views on me as a partner, taken a break, but hadn’t even touched on mine or my experiences. I was disturbed by this and called her out on it. We argued and said our goodnight after.

2. Wednesday 03/05
We were talking about family, children and roles in the house. She started to ask me about my past relationships and how many women I’ve been with. I answered only the first question. She then said something about men being with women but then marrying a woman who is clean/hasn’t been with other men. I ignored that statement. She asked me if I’d marry a woman who has been with many men, I said no. She went on about that as well, arguing that it was hypocrisy. I haven't even been with many women, mostly those I've dated.

3. Friday 5/05/23
We were talking and I shared with her some issues I was dealing with I.e. my housemate deeply betraying my trust and hurting me and as such, I was going to end that relationship and keep my distance. She then revealed that she had matched and briefly conversed with my housemate on a dating app around the time we started talking, which I didn’t have an issue with, but she said she had recognised him when I introduced them. I felt as though she could’ve told me earlier. Moving on, after I’d shared my experience and decision with her, she made a blanket statement that it’d be unwise to cut my friend off and then went on a tangent about something she didn’t fully understand.
After listening to her, I asked her if she had even asked how I was coping with this, if I was ok or where I was with it first before straightaway undermining the decision that I had made based of my own experience. She went on trying to justify it and then made a flimsy apology at the end.
At the end, we had a truce and I remembered that we had been talking about the church before ( she’s Pentecostal, I’m Catholic, but leaning away from Catholicism for personal reasons) and I told her I would like to come to her church on the third Sunday of the month and that I would like her to come to my service the following week ( this service happens once a month because it is an Igbo service). She declined saying that she doesn’t believe In the Catholic Church. I asked her to perhaps comes for the cultural aspect and to also meet the people that are in my life. She refused, I kept quiet.

4. 07/05/23
We were discussing and the church came up again. She had a lot to say about the Catholic Church (mostly things I’d told her). She seemed to have developed such strong views against the Catholic Church. After we had discussed it, I asked her if she had ever been to the Catholic Church or if she understood the ways of the church? She said no. I asked her this “if your friend was getting married in the Catholic Church, would you go?” She said yes. I asked how that would be any different to her visiting my community to meet them and learn more about why I’m leaning away from that church. She couldn’t reply, but was trying to justify her stance. We argued and then ended the conversation.


I'm deeply worried about these because she always has a response to everything. She rarely wants to be corrected and has strong views of what she doesn’t understand. Are these fundamental issues that can be resolved? Am I being too compromising?

Ok
This ur matter strong oo..
Let's wait for the elders. I might probably pick some few things.

Stop thinking negative thoughts about your relationship and flow with the flow. Abeg u

You better leave her

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Married/experienced people.
Are these positive signs that she is a grounded, religious person? Are these things you'd expect from a good wife who wants you even closer to God?

Or are these red flags?

DeeBaDan:
Stop thinking negative thoughts about your relationship and flow with the flow. Abeg u

How exactly am I? Also, because I'm quite serious about marriage, I'm being very deliberate with it all.

Which Church do you intend marrying her into?
If your intention is for her to remain in her church and same with you, you wouldn't have peace of mind in your home.
Both of you aren't of the same yolk

cazchi:


How exactly am I? Also, because I'm quite serious about marriage, I'm being very deliberate with it all.

No power to type. Stop the negative presumptions and assumptions

MCLION:
Which Church do you intend marrying her into?
If your intention is for her to remain in her church and same with you, you wouldn't have peace of mind in your home.
Both of you aren't of the same yolk

I'm in a stage now that I am moving away from my lifelong church (Catholic) due to the Chruch having several practices i think are umbilical.

In saying that, I'm looking for the right match, church wise and spiritually.

By the time you start realising that ur mind/conscience
is ur true religion and relationship with God that's when you know you're ready with realities of life and not abt one selfish n gullible delusions from religion bigots

cazchi:


I'm in a stage now that I am moving away from my lifelong church (Catholic) due to the Chruch having several practices i think are umbilical.

In saying that, I'm looking for the right match, church wise and spiritually.

I'm a Christian, but hypocrisy too much for inside Christianity

Nawttiboi007:
I'm a Christian, but hypocrisy too much for inside Christianity

Bro, I don't think I can do it.

I feel as though I'm beong too understanding and trying too hard to be open and compromising with her.

How person go decline invitation to igbo Church for evening because sey she no too believe in Catholic Church? Like, I'm literally coming to yours to be around your people.

Na the same thing we dey talk na.. hope u read my comments well?.. I say hypocrisy too much for Christianity

cazchi:


Bro, I don't think I can do it.

I feel as though I'm beong too understanding and trying too hard to be open and compromising with her.

How person go decline invitation to igbo Church for evening because sey she no too believe in Catholic Church? Like, I'm literally coming to yours to be around your people.

Nawttiboi007:
Na the same thing we dey talk na.. hope u read my comments well?.. I say hypocrisy too much for Christianity

I did bro. I'm backing out of this relationship.