My People, i don't know how to start explaining my issue, i have this lady, i love so much and we planned spending the rest of our lives together. We ve always enjoyed telling each other truth and as we know it is always bitter. She said there was something she wanted to tell me that she has been hiding from everyone but she feels its time i know. she revealed that she has a child(girl) for one man from Jos who she said she does not love to marry because of ethnicity and other issues but her parents and siblings did not know about it. When i asked how she could do it, i mean hiding the pregnancy from her parents, she said she told her parents that she was in her cousins house in Aba and coincidentally, her cousin was abroad throughout the period of her pregnancy so no way for her parents to suspect but she was always speaking on phone with her parents and then she was waiting for NYSC too. She then followed the owner of the pregnancy(Jos guy) sister who lived in Kaduna while her parents stay in Abuja and she stayed with the guys sister in kaduna for 1 yr and three months and gave birth to the girl child. She said because she planned to get married one day, she did not breast feed the baby in order to keep the shape of her breast. She proceeded to put the child in motherless babies home in Abuja where she always sneak out to visit without the knowledge of her parents and siblings. we re both from the eastern part of the country. meanwhile, she always said no to premarital sex and even said it is till our wedding night that can make love with her meaning i ve not slept with her before but we planned getting married.

After listening to all these, i was confused but i know i love her and i ask her, her plans for the baby, she said immediately we marry, she will move the child who is now 3yrs and 3 months old to our matrimonial home to start staying with us nd give her motherly love which has denied her for long. i told her i don't support the idea that she should let her parents know for the child to stay with them or else i will let them know myself as the child is not motherless and she threatened dealing with me if i do saying it was her life and not mine. My people, i know good suggestions are always gotten here.pls if you were in my shoe what will u do, your advise is welcomed. Note we re both managing financially and marriage is everlasting,Advice your brother.

If she was crafty enough to do that to her own family and her own baby,you think she loves you more? You have to leave her and let her go.It may be painful but will only last a short while.She is NOT who you think she is. You have never forked her but others may be out there servicing her every week because she seems to be an expert at keeping things hush hush.Do not be deceived.

If you fail to heed my warnings,someday after wedding,you will come back to nairaland to complain about more painful findings about her.By then things can not be undone.

Do not marry someone who found it easy to keep secrets from those who loved and trusted her.She will do the same thing to you in the future.
If your life is not complicated,do not marry a person with complicated life.

I confuse with dis your matter. The long and short of it is that if she refuses to tell her parents, abandon her 100%. If she decides to tell them weigh, the pros and cons. Can you deal with all the issues that this matter raises? If you can; it is your decision to make whether you want her as a wife or not. If you cannot, abeg let her go.