In the realm of hospitals and healing, I embarked on a profound journey that would forever alter my perspective. As I walked into the hospital for my visit, little did I know that this day would mark a pivotal moment in my quest for emotional well-being.

After the doctor's routine check, I found myself seated across from my therapist. This was our third session, a milestone reached after a span of four weeks. Looking back, I remembered the storm of my first session, a tempest of arguments and defiance from my end. I had stood resolute, rejecting his insights despite sensing the core of truth beneath his words. Stubborn and strong-willed, I had yet to embrace his guidance, clinging to my own beliefs.

Yet, life has a way of guiding us, even when we resist. A new day dawned, facilitated by my dear friend Ruth, a guardian angel who had taken upon herself the role of my hospital appointment reminder. With her support, I navigated toward my second session. The room echoed with laughter, a blend of confusion, and release. An internal struggle to hold back tears met the compulsion to burst into laughter. At that moment, I chose strength, masking my emotions behind bouts of hearty laughter.

Today, as I entered my third session, an unexpected calm settled within me. The turbulence of my earlier encounters had evolved into a serene, solemn atmosphere. A remarkable 85% of my therapist's words resonated as undeniable truths. A quiet chuckle escaped me as I surrendered to the realization. Acceptance had finally taken root, softening the fortress of resistance I had constructed.

We delved deep into my life, dissecting past victories and failures, enduring challenges, relentless fears, and unwavering faith. Conversations flowed about careers, aspirations, dreams, and the shadows of disappointment. The tapestry of my experiences unfolded, revealing threads of my quest for identity, struggles to fit in, the sting of rejection, and the weight of external judgments.

Amid the revelations, I confessed my struggle with dwindling motivation for once-beloved endeavors. In recent weeks I had been an onslaught of challenges – health, mental strain, spiritual turmoil, physical exhaustion, and financial stress. Amid this turmoil, the desire for human connection surfaced. Yet, the fear of judgment loomed large, shackling my need to share my burdens.

My confidant, my anchor, was notably absent – a true friend and brother had become a ghost. I grappled with the ache of abandonment, the realization that my only steadfast support had seemingly disappeared. Left with no choice, I turned to an old friend, someone I hadn't spoken to in years. With courage, I dialed Ruth's number. "Hey babe, I am not okay and I need to talk to someone," I confessed. Without hesitation, she responded, "Drop your address and I will be right there." Within an hour, she stood at my door, dispelling my fears of reprimand. Her love remained unwavering, bridging the years of separation.

As I reflect on my journey, I recognize the potency of vulnerability. For years, writing had been my refuge from pain, but at this moment, I needed more. I yearned for someone to witness my vulnerability, to see beyond the words. I craved release from the burdens that had taken residence in my mind, stifling my potential. With hindsight, I'm grateful for that pivotal call, the catalyst for my healing.

To those traversing a similar path, I implore you to embrace your truth. It's okay to admit when passion wanes when interests fade. This admission is not a sign of defeat but a plea for renewal. Lean on others, unburden your soul, and shatter the chains of silent suffering. I stand as a testament to the strength found in sharing your struggles, in saying, "I am not okay."

In parting, I offer these verses as solace:

1. 2 Corinthians 12:9 (AMP) – Strength is perfected in vulnerability.

He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you. My lovingkindness and mercy are more than enough, always available regardless of the situation; for My power is being perfected and completed and shows itself most effectively in your weakness.”

2. Nehemiah 8:10 (ERV) – Find joy amid adversity.

Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy the good food and sweet drinks. Give some food and drinks to those who didn’t prepare any food. Today is a special day for our Lord. Don’t be sad, because the joy of the Lord will make you strong.”

3. Isaiah 40:28-29 (AMP) – Seek strength in the eternal.

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become tired or grow weary; There is no searching of His understanding. He gives strength to the weary, And to him who has no might He increases power.

4. Psalms 46:5 (NIV) – Trust in your unbreakable core.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at the break of the day.

5. Philippians 4:13 (ERV) – Draw strength from Christ's embrace.

Christ is the one who gives me the strength I need to do whatever I must do.

If these words have stirred something within you, consider subscribing using the link on my signature for more inspiration. Share this tale with a friend who might find solace in these words, your kindness might spark their healing. Remember, by unraveling your struggles, you pave the way for a stronger, more resilient version of yourself.