It is a widespread idea in Africa that it is the man’s responsibility to provide for his family. Most times, it does not matter how much the wife earns or what she’s worth. That’s why it’s very common to hear a lot of black women make statements like “My money is my money but my husband’s money is our money.”

I have also read in many places that a man’s wealth does not reflect on him but on his wife. This is another way of saying “monkey de work, baboon de chop.” In Africa, especially the sub-Saharan parts, a man is valued mostly on how well he can provide for his family. In the Igbo tribe, names like “Oriaku” (consumer of wealth) are very common. Somehow, this is a reflection of the culture back home.

I must say that the existing socioeconomic situation viz a vis the cultures across the continent makes it easier for a man to solely bear the family’s financial and otherwise responsibilities without giving up so easily. This is why it appears that marriages between a lot of black people in Europe and America hit the rock faster than back home. A man who tries to be the sole breadwinner in Europe or America will find it extremely difficult to do so.

The European and American economies are mostly built on taxes and monthly bills from water to electricity to waste disposal to heating systems among others. This is not to mention monthly payments of rent that run into hundreds of thousands of pounds and dollars.

Now to the topic proper. Before you take your wife to Europe or America from Africa, you must do the following:

1. Orientation: Do you remember how colleges and universities organize orientation exercises for new intakes? Do you know the idea behind that? Well, it’s for the new students to understand the culture of their new school environment – what is and what isn’t and how to navigate life on campus. You must explain to your wife or girlfriend how life in Europe or America is. This must include the day-to-day life, how bills are paid, the nature of bills paid, and how it differs from the system back home. They might hear you’re earning two thousand pounds monthly not knowing 75 per cent of it goes to tax, and bills. You must prepare them for what to meet.

2. Agree on how to combine resources to support the family: In Europe and America, there is nothing like “Oriaku.” Especially for two migrants still struggling to find their feet. One person depending on the other for financial support will be deeply challenging. If the man pays for some bills, the woman pays for some too. Europe and America do not encourage laziness. Staying a month without earning will be disastrous for either of the couple. So, do away with the mindset that as a woman from Africa, you are coming to Europe or America to live the soft life where you stay at home and your man provides everything. He’ll get frustrated easily and this would bring problems to your marriage.

3. Decide the number of kids to have: The more kids you have in Europe and America, the higher your bills. You’ll have more people using electricity, water, TV; the internet and so on. You can’t have 5,6,7 children when you’re both hustling daily to support yourselves and your families back home.

4. Discuss what happens when your wife gets pregnant: In these countries, a pregnant woman is second to God in heaven. You will be required to change your home if it’s not good enough for a baby, and your wife will be required to stop working for months. You have to let her know this and then come up with a plan. If she gives birth, someone must always be at home with the baby till the age of 5 when he or she can start school. The alternative is to pay a nanny but can you afford 10 pounds or dollars per hour every time your baby is with the nanny? You should talk about the possibility of her mum or yours or a family member coming over for some time to look after the baby while you both go out to hustle.

5. Decide on the level of support for your extended families: This one has destroyed many homes abroad. Your wife’s family might be banking on her to build mansions and buy cars for everyone. Same as yours. Most people back home don’t want to believe that people in Europe and America don’t have enough for everyone. Sit your woman down and tell her to cut short the expectations of her family just as you’ll do the same in yours as you’re now married and have increased responsibility.

6. Tell her the work you do: A lot of people do not share the nature of their jobs with their women back home. Some of the women expect that you’d be working in a big office because of the huge sums you send home. They’d be shocked to find out you’re probably a security guy in a nightclub or a janitor in a college. The good news is that there’s dignity of labour in these countries. No one looks down on anyone because of the job they do as long as you pay your bills and mind your business. High expectations might make your wife lose some love for you if your job doesn’t measure up to her expectations. You should know women!

7. Tell her how the system protects women: The system in Europe and America favours and protects women. That is why it’s very easy for a wife to destroy her husband even without evidence. You must let your wife know this and subtly express your fears. This would help manage the culture shock she’ll experience when she moves over. If she moves over blank and with her African idea of what women in the society is, it might be too overwhelming for her and this would affect your marriage.
See also Why Nigerians Migrate To Other Countries In Droves

Source:
https://vantagenews.ng/2023/09/08/before-you-take-your-african-wife-to-europe-or-america-a-must-read/

Mtcheww I will not even follow any man abroad
I enjoy my life here in naija
I must have really really really really really really really love a man to follow him abroad

IconicR:
Mtcheww I will not even follow any man abroad
I enjoy my life here in naija
I must have really really really really really really really love a man to follow him abroad

You will not and then you will if you love the person. This your comment shaa

HenryQuest:


You will not and then you will if you love the person. This your comment shaa

I mean I must have really love such man to follow him abroad
I love my Nigeria

Instead of wasting resources to export a nigerian girl abroad, it's better you race mix and marry one of them yt chicks