uncleck:
I'm 35 years old. My sweetheart left me few weeks ago because, according to her, she can't "marry a man who doesn't fear God". This followed series of heart to heart communication over many months. Her problem isn't that I'm a bad person. Normally I don't categorize people based on whether they are good or bad. I equally do not make decisions based on morality rather based on legality (except in family and relationship matters).



I have noticed that people, especially religious people, say what they don't mean (lie) with ease. People live double life with ease. (I don't want this thread to be too long)

Now, I'm not looking for a "compatible" partner (she doesn't exist), I only want a liberal minded person that is contented with one d***k. But it seems I'm on a wild goose chase. I might end up single

i am not married, and i can relate to it.... lost mine too last month.... we were fine until she became born again and started speaking in tongues.. Even then i was fine with it...

I think LordReed advice is the best.. Here's what I've planned to do,

1) keep ur criticism of the religion away from whatsapp status nd Facebook. Or, at least not the church she attends.

2) Don't say you're an Atheist, instead, say u follow Christ to the core... and take "don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" seriously....

3) U also believe Jesus doesn't want to people to serve in public as shown in the Bible..


That's ehat i intend to do... the heart wants what it wants... 😂 😂.. After marriage, u can slowly slowy and small small begin to reveal ur Atheism...

Na weytin me i dey plan do be dat sha...

Kobojunkie:


So what is wrong with being single? Isn't it better than spending your life on this wild goose chase you have determined?

And I wouldn't recommend you resort to living a life of pretense like the Christians do. I just can't see the sense in living that way, doing things that are of no real value or worth to me all so as to keep up appearances. If you are going to reject something, do so, or accept you are no different from the many other hypocrites out there.

😏😏😏

That's unnatural..

kkins25:
😏😏😏 That's unnatural..

*** yawn***

kkins25:

i am not married, and i can relate to it.... lost mine too last month.... we were fine until she became born again and started speaking in tongues.. Even then i was fine with it...

I think LordReed advice is the best.. Here's what I've planned to do,

1) keep ur criticism of the religion away from whatsapp status nd Facebook. Or, at least not the church she attends.

2) Don't say you're an Atheist, instead, say u follow Christ to the core... and take "don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing" seriously....

3) U also believe Jesus doesn't want to people to serve in public as shown in the Bible..


That's ehat i intend to do... the heart wants what it wants... 😂 😂.. After marriage, u can slowly slowy and small small begin to reveal ur Atheism...

Na weytin me i dey plan do be dat sha...

The thing is, I don't go about announcing to everyone about my conviction. However, I don't pretend to be what I am not. I've been severally called upon in meetings to lead in prayers, I'd just politely tell them to appoint another person . As much as possible, I avoid religious conversation...

uncleck:

The thing is, I don't go about announcing to everyone about my conviction. However, I don't pretend to be what I am not. I've been severally called upon in meetings to lead in prayers, I'd just politely tell them to appoint another person . As much as possible, I avoid religious conversation...

For our clime, this is the way. Most people here are not open to having their ideas about their religion openly challenged especially when you begin to highlight the illogicalities in the religion no matter how gentle you are.

uncleck:

Typical church rats. Very easy to predict. Always quick to judge. They only see the world through their tinny understanding. Even without knowing me you have already concluded the type of Christianity I practiced.

As for the bolded, you are very correct. My life is now in my hand. I have outgrown that stage where, if I work hard and my hardwork yields results I will give God the gratitude. But if I fail I'll blame a certain satan. I've outgrown a stage where I don't take responsibility for my life but instead, blame the devil for my failures and thank God for my success even though he contributes absolutely nothing to my success

I can imagine this...

LordReed:


I was already married when I deconverted so while I don’t have your struggle to find a partner, I understand the whole go along to get along thing. I initially struggled with accepting to still go to church and pray with my family just for appearance sake. I had a conversation with my dear sister (may she rest in peace), she made me see that my love for family should transcend my lack of faith or religion. Also I realised that there was no harm to me to continue to minimally be involved in religious activities with my family seeing as they know I don’t share their faith anymore. So now I go to church on Sunday with my family, say amen to their prayers and it has not changed my perspective at all. I'm even more contented to see that life doesn't give 2 bleeps whether you believe in a god or not or whether you attend religious services or not.

I've been going to church myself, though the habit is not catching.

It's Kate you see, almost 90, who likes walking the 500 metres from her house to church but can't walk there alone. So I've offered myself for whenever she wants and it takes us 45 minutes to an hour to very slowly walk there.

The church bores me but I so enjoy her company, and she appears to too.

No, that's not me in the image below.

I count you fortunate to have taken a stance on such sensitive subject before marriage.

In marriage, e for no easy. Because if I understand you correctly, you still believe in God, but don't want to identify with a religious group.

It's easier for one who doesn't believe to compromise and associate, to play along for any reason whatsoever.

When you still believe, the way you express your spirituality is something that will be difficult for a honest person to pretend about.

On how to go about finding an appropriate partner. First, go through your post, you will realize that mentally you have given up even before you started.

Change that mindset.

There are decent ladies who aren't churchy or will still marry someone like you. Our society is littered with cross religious marriages etc, without one spouse trying to change the other.

What most women really need is a man who can be faithful, non-violent, and ability to comfortably provide for the home. The last is even more important to them.

You will come across a lady that will love you as a 'freethinker', if you start by convincing yourself you would.

Another thing, don't hide your identity, when you go on dates. But don't bring it up during the onset of the relationship if you can, or if she doesn't know.

Let her know you for you, and love you for you. Even if she identifies with a religion, she will convince herself that this other thing doesn't matter to love. She will even recount to herself marriages that have failed despite both partners belonging to same religious group.

All the best.

With Love.

uncleck:
I'm 35 years old. My sweetheart left me few weeks ago because, according to her, she can't "marry a man who doesn't fear God". This followed series of heart to heart communication over many months. Her problem isn't that I'm a bad person. Normally I don't categorize people based on whether they are good or bad. I equally do not make decisions based on morality rather based on legality (except in family and relationship matters).

My girlfriend (now ex) always confesses that she has never met a man like me. I hardly express emotions. I don't smoke. I drink moderately. I don't gamble. But I don't judge anyone who chooses a different lifestyle... I'm not diabolic. The last time I raised my hand on a woman was when I was in primary two. The last time I engaged in physical fight was in my SS2. My Yes is my Yes... She wants me to at least pretend to be a Christian even if it's just once. She wants me to pretend to pray even if it's once.... But how can live a lie if if it's just once?

Would you prefer an honest man who has no business with church or a dishonest man who goes to church? At length she saw things from my perspective but her friends convinced her otherwise. "If he truly loves you, he should go to church at least for your sake". "Imagine going to church every Sunday with your children without their father, will there be morning prayer in your home etc...?".

I was born and brought up as a Christian. I dedicated most of my youthful years to Christianity. I lost many life changing opportunities because of my dedication to the Christian life. But when I started asking questions, I was deeply dissatisfied... I've attended almost all christian churches, I've studied Islam greatly, I've done a great deal of searching in both Shintoism and Buddhism. I've delved into the unending African traditional religion... I've reached a conclusion that I won't want to disclose here in the meantime

I have noticed that people, especially religious people, say what they don't mean (lie) with ease. People live double life with ease. (I don't want this thread to be too long)

Now, I'm not looking for a "compatible" partner (she doesn't exist), I only want a liberal minded person that is contented with one d***k. But it seems I'm on a wild goose chase. I might end up single

budaatum:


I've been going to church myself, though the habit is not catching.

It's Kate you see, almost 90, who likes walking the 500 metres from her house to church but can't walk there alone. So I've offered myself for whenever she wants and it takes us 45 minutes to an hour to very slowly walk there.

The church bores me but I so enjoy her company, and she appears to too.

No, that's not me in the image below.

Kate's in good company though.

LordReed:


Kate's in good company though.

Gentle, meek and the best my Lord. She honours me when I'm called upon.

uncleck:
I'm 35 years old. My sweetheart left me few weeks ago because, according to her, she can't "marry a man who doesn't fear God". This followed series of heart to heart communication over many months. Her problem isn't that I'm a bad person. Normally I don't categorize people based on whether they are good or bad. I equally do not make decisions based on morality rather based on legality (except in family and relationship matters).

...

I have noticed that people, especially religious people, say what they don't mean (lie) with ease. People live double life with ease. (I don't want this thread to be too long)

Now, I'm not looking for a "compatible" partner (she doesn't exist), I only want a liberal minded person that is contented with one d***k. But it seems I'm on a wild goose chase. I might end up single

Won't you both want to entertain your father in laws when they come visiting?

Your ex-girlfriend's father is probably Jesus!
Your own father is satan!

Your girlfriends sworn enemy is your father
and
You despise your girlfriend's Father


How do you expect things to work in harmony in your marriage?


You had probably made her commit fornication against the rules of her father and she is tired of breaking her Father's rule of holiness.

Of course, you don't see anything wrong with it because your own father encourages it.

She is tired!
She is broken!
She needs to heal!


She loves you, but she loves her father more.


It is best for you to find a lady that you share the same father with and you will have peace.

uncleck:

I might end up single

Your choice dude. And I like your ex by the way, for accepting you for whom you are but wanting you to help her navigate past all those who wouldn't.

You mentioned Buddhism. When a Buddha arrives in a place, they eat what is eaten and wear what is worn and worship the gods that are worshipped, because in so doing others would see their doing and learn to accept them for whom they are. But much more beneficial is that in joining in doing with them the Buddha gets to learn who they are and better teach them.

Learn to be liberal minded yourself perhaps, and compromise a little. It might help you keep the "liberal minded person that is contented with one d***k".

uncleck:

I'm 35 . I might end up single

Lemme leave you with a word of wisdom.

Know the truth, and use the truth against people.

Are you saying there are no female atheists?