At a very young age my parent divorce, i was 5years old my brother was 6 months then, my mum left without looking back, that made life very uneasy for me and my brother, unfortunately my brother got a little bit lucky (he was took in by my dad sister) so as for me, living with one family members or the other but finally i start living with my grand ma when i was about 15, but grand ma is fond of swearing and all sort of abuse, thats when i met this friend of mine, he live very close to my grand ma's house and one way or the other the relationship got very good and i started staying with them, (me, my friend, his mom, and his younger brother) in a room, the mom was not bothered about feeding us. During the holidays we do petty jobs like, labourer at bricklayer site, block industry, water factory, any job we lay our hands on we do it so as to help reduce the workload with the mother. We got to meet someone who introduce us to church, we start living a good christian life and things started going smooth.

To cut the story short i was ahead of them in education, i finished my secondary school, they are still school. unfortunately an offer came for me to study computer software and hardware in an institute which i went for, that led to cut in ties with them.

After a long year, i met them today, this morning.. but to my greatest surprise my friend has a plaited hair (like that of women, very dirty and untidy) and the brother (boy) has about 4 waste bids on him.. they look high on drugs early in the morning on Monday.. i felt really bad and unhappy about the situation i met them, because i feel indebted to them, for taking me in and offering help

Now my problem is how do i help them, have ask people for advice some feel i should just let them go, because they are different person now.. but some feel i should help them

The problem is that am not financially buoyant to help them in anyway, because i work under an institution where my salary can only sustain me and my family (of 2 kids)

My question is this:
Should i help them?
Should i just ignore?
how do i help them?

i will appreciate any advice from you guys

Difficult situation.

You have a good heart. But you are like a baby taking his first steps,that wish to help another crawling baby to stand and join him in walking. What do you think happens to both babies in their venture?

princeemmma:
At a very young age my parent divorce, i was 5years old my brother was 6 months then, my mum left without looking back, that made life very uneasy for me and my brother, unfortunately my brother got a little bit lucky (he was took in by my dad sister) so as for me, living with one family members or the other but finally i start living with my grand ma when i was about 15, but grand ma is fond of swearing and all sort of abuse, thats when i met this friend of mine, he live very close to my grand ma's house and one way or the other the relationship got very good and i started staying with them, (me, my friend, his mom, and his younger brother) in a room, the mom was not bothered about feeding us. During the holidays we do petty jobs like, labourer at bricklayer site, block industry, water factory, any job we lay our hands on we do it so as to help reduce the workload with the mother. We got to meet someone who introduce us to church, we start living a good christian life and things started going smooth.

To cut the story short i was ahead of them in education, i finished my secondary school, they are still school. unfortunately an offer came for me to study computer software and hardware in an institute which i went for, that led to cut in ties with them.

After a long year, i met them today, this morning.. but to my greatest surprise my friend has a plaited hair (like that of women, very dirty and untidy) and the brother (boy) has about 4 waste bids on him.. they look high on drugs early in the morning on Monday.. i felt really bad and unhappy about the situation i met them, because i feel indebted to them, for taking me in and offering help

Now my problem is how do i help them, have ask people for advice some feel i should just let them go, because they are different person now.. but some feel i should help them

The problem is that am not financially buoyant to help them in anyway, because i work under an institution where my salary can only sustain me and my family (of 2 kids)

My question is this:
Should i help them?
Should i just ignore?
how do i help them?

i will appreciate any advice from you guys

You have a very kind heart, Yes I must admit that. Not everyone have this kind heart of your's.
Now that you have said you are not financially buoyant to help, the only thing I would advice you do now is this, since they are not as enlightened as you are, check if they are working, earning anything for themselves to fend for themselves, if the answer is no, try and look for a job for any one of them using your influence/power/ referal. As for the girl, you didn't state her age catergory. If she is still young enroll her for a skill she can use to make something for herself later on in future. (catering, tailoring, hari making and many more skiils) or you can ask her what she wants to do. Since you both have stayed before, discussion like this will not be difficult as you both will flow freely. Don't mind the level you are now, relate with them and see how you can be of help to them. Things happens and its part of life. we can be of help to one another.

tommy589:
You have a good heart. But you are like a baby taking his first steps,who wish to help another crawling baby to stand and join him in walking. What do you think happens to both babies in their venture?

this is a parable. if care is not taken both babies will fall. but the opp can help look for a job for any one of them, so that they too can have a source of income. and with words and encouragement, they can stand and gain themselves back.

We rise by lifting others. but one have to be carefull when doing the lifting. This life sha, e nor balance.

Help their mother but be careful with those boys if they are in drugs. They can hook unto you and demand money you can’t afford. Drug addicts are dangerous. They could set you up for robbery or death if you don’t give money when they need it for their fix. Help from afar, no let them know your house.

Decide on a big help for one time and move on with your life. You are also just starting out. Don’t use pity to destroy your own life. A boy wearing 4 waist beads is either gay or male prostitute.

You can give advice.

Also, you need to part with money to help them. Don't give the excuse of not being too buoyant.

You owe them this help.

Remember you are now married... Your financial responsibility is now divided...
Help them only if they are in need of help ..
Don't force someone to accept help when they obviously aren't in need of help...
Are they poor? Do they need financial help??
Are they mentally unstable? Do they need psychological help?
Check well and know the angle of help you want to help?
You really don't know what they have passed through in the past or currently passing thru ...
So stay one side and look and b ready to give help if and only if you can...
Don't help above your means so that you won't be indebted to them ..
Take care

princeemmma:
At a very young age my parent divorce, i was 5years old my brother was 6 months then, my mum left without looking back, that made life very uneasy for me and my brother, unfortunately my brother got a little bit lucky (he was took in by my dad sister) so as for me, living with one family members or the other but finally i start living with my grand ma when i was about 15, but grand ma is fond of swearing and all sort of abuse, thats when i met this friend of mine, he live very close to my grand ma's house and one way or the other the relationship got very good and i started staying with them, (me, my friend, his mom, and his younger brother) in a room, the mom was not bothered about feeding us. During the holidays we do petty jobs like, labourer at bricklayer site, block industry, water factory, any job we lay our hands on we do it so as to help reduce the workload with the mother. We got to meet someone who introduce us to church, we start living a good christian life and things started going smooth.

To cut the story short i was ahead of them in education, i finished my secondary school, they are still school. unfortunately an offer came for me to study computer software and hardware in an institute which i went for, that led to cut in ties with them.

After a long year, i met them today, this morning.. but to my greatest surprise my friend has a plaited hair (like that of women, very dirty and untidy) and the brother (boy) has about 4 waste bids on him.. they look high on drugs early in the morning on Monday.. i felt really bad and unhappy about the situation i met them, because i feel indebted to them, for taking me in and offering help

Now my problem is how do i help them, have ask people for advice some feel i should just let them go, because they are different person now.. but some feel i should help them

The problem is that am not financially buoyant to help them in anyway, because i work under an institution where my salary can only sustain me and my family (of 2 kids)

My question is this:
Should i help them?
Should i just ignore?
how do i help them?

i will appreciate any advice from you guys

I. Think they have choosen the part of life they want to live

For you to rehabilitate them which is exactly what they need will take you lots of money and time to do so and after that stabilize them and fix them up

I don't know how capable you are financially

In my opinion, I think you should visit their mum and greet her and check what she does for a living

If she needs financial support for her businesses or she wants to start something doing, just fund her or use the money to pay for her goods directly

She is the one feeling the pains and Shame of her children lifestyle
So give that help to her

As someone posted up there, help from a far ooo. Don't let anyone of them know where you live or any of your family.

Your help should be finding a rehabilitation centre for them. Their lifestyle is nothing to write home about.