I may not know who my true friends really are here in London. This is because when I am alone, my so-called friends are near but they don't approach me, so I ignore and keep to myself.

So is there any advice to give out there about how to find out who your true friends are?

Hello Chizube,

The craving for a 'true friend' is present in all of us. Unfortunately, the harder you search, the more you get dissapointed, because all friends will be disloyal, critical, hurtful, unapologetic, and insensitive at times. Human beings will be human beings.

But the moment you stop searching for (true or perfect) friends; the moment you stop thinking that friends will cure your loneliness; the moment you choose to be happy with yourself; the moment you are convinced that you will be a happy person with or without a true friend ... that moment is when you start having friends that are close to being true friends.

High expectations will always bring dissapointment. I believe that we need to learn to "manage" the friends that we have and make our (imperfect) friendship as pleasurable as possible. We need to learn not to depend on friends' approval for our happiness. And we need to learn to minimize friendships with people whose values are not compatible with ours, because such friendships will only lead to strife.

What I am trying to say is that 'true friends' come only to those who have learnt to be happy without them. So give up on your search for true friends and learn to be hapy with yourself and with the friends you have today. Try to make friends with people who value the same things you do.

Best wishes!

maybe to them. you are annoying. (no offence)

anyway, i hear london is a very socially-cold place.

i can be your friend

Yeah I hear London is socially cold. My cuz got so homesick and lonely once that she locked herself up and wept in her room couple of months after arriving.
Well you discover true friends and hard as it may be, you have to be strong for the periods when you have not really met people who you can hang out with and GENUINELY enjoy their company.

The only true friends one can have IMO are those you grew up with.

this is a lovely thread and all the above posts are so nice....

i think whenever one feels lonely and as if one has no friend, the best thing is to try to give rather than receive. try to think of someone who needs a friend more than you or just try to help somebody. i believe in the process of making someone else happy, one will get joy reflected back. And if you learn to this often, you will surprisingly start having more true friends than you even expected..

this is a hypothesis, and i'd love to put it to test..

Friends are no good sometimes.Why don't you be yourself for sometimes,true friend will always come

I will love to be you friend, just call me any time you need a friend

I don't think it's only london that's socially cold. I'll be your friend Chizube.
Do you think your giving off a vibe?
I know when I arrived I was a little mean with the people around here, because I craved home. I craved my family and friends. I actually started building up my own friends higher than they really were and compared the people here with them.

True Friends?
Sadly very few people truly know what a True Friend is
in a nut shell.

A True Friend will Gladly Give there life for your's with
no hesatation what so ever.


True Friends are one of rarest of all treasures
should you be lucky to have one...

( Consider your self blessed and Dam lucky!!!)

Chxta:

The only true friends one can have IMO are those you grew up with.

True that! My best friends today are the ones that have been my friends since I was so small.

remember this chibuze there are a lot of nigerians in foreign countries who feel the same way. so dear step out of ur comfort zone and make hte first move.

There are so many friends in our lives, some who we need to keep and some who we need to eliminate. If one really wants to know who his/her true friends are, then wait till time of temptaion. The people who show up when u're in trouble, when u're life is falling apart, when you need somebody to talk to, are your true friends. has anyone ever had the experience of new people showing up when they're in trouble? because I have, and it goes like this. None of all the other friends u have in your life will come, which I find very funny, but the once who comes are surly God sent to you, and they will stay if only you allow them to. I hope that answers your question

Chxta:

The only true friends one can have IMO are those you grew up with.

I really don't believe the only true friends you can have are those you grew up with. I have seen a couple of childhood friends change so much that I wonder if they were the ones I knew in childhood. I guess its true inj a lot of cases, but in my experience, the truest friends I have had are those I knew from my university days, and those i got to know in a yearlong training program I attended.

At that age, they have exited their formative years and the personality you see and come to appreciate is "the real deal". I mean people can't fake for say 5 years. If you are fooled about the kind of person, it probably means you weren't paying attention.

i really admires the views u all ve laid down on this topic,well, as 4 me i feel ur real friends are the ones u grew up together with. that u can tell their likes and dislikes.

and when u get to know them. then u will realise that real friends are nice 2 have and they are forever.

i could be ur frend but i'm based in edinburgh, maybe we could get 2geda anytime i'm in london 2 visit my family. Are there any nigerians living in scotland ? holla @ me saintkola15@yahoo.com cheers !

;Dthis is the biggest loser thread ive same across, dude if you have no TRUE freinds just admitt your a loser and sulk it out,

dufferz

u sound like a looser, lame

@duffer

you kind of sick with that reply and at thesame time i can see the funny side.
@poster you will never find a true friend by looking, they are rare and come into our lives by accident, i have had experiences with old school people who i never thught much of but turned out to be some of my closest friends and the ones i thought were my best turned out to be worse than satan himself. I have one advise for you, when you too start making time for those close to you, you will see others begin to open up to you and give more to you and that way you can begin to build te foundations of friendship. It works both ways too

hello katherine

katherine,out of all the replies,yours was the most the fascinating,and i think i would like to be your friend,u can reach me on 08036112298
keep it up

i can be ur friend if u want
but when u have a true friend u will definately feel it in u nd sumtimes it might dangerous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I love this quiant thread.

I wonder .how it stopped at just a page!

I find it still relevant years after.

Heh, are you Chizube Uche?

London. . .tsk tsk, way tooo dryyy. But don't worry, you'll live through it.