i was watching a Nigerian movie "All my life" (Zach Orji, Omotola and Someone else i can't remember). The Brief Sypnosis: A prince weds a beautiful girl, but cannot assume the throne because he has no heir to succeed him. Time is running out, as he is given a year to produce a child. In depseration, he marries the girl's sister, who (-you guessed it, you think films these days could be a little bit unpredictable) becomes pregnant. The first wife demands a child as well, and before you know it, they try again and she's pregnant as well. Well, you know how the rest goes.

So the question for you folks: Why all the stress for people in marriages with no children, that makes them take (ahem!), DRASTIC MEASURES?

_{Note to Seun: If there already is a thread for this kindly indicate so. Thanks}

What do you mean by drastic measures?

It is only in "Africa" that the ablity to produce children you cannot "feed" becomes an issue! Not having children is not a curse you know!  Many people have children and do not bother about them.  This is not a matter of life and death that calls for the so-called "drastic" measures!  Many have died and left children to be raised by someone else.  Learn to live your life the way you were created, unless you are the "it is not my portion in Jisos' name" type!  Then goodluck with your "portion"!!! If you were not chosen to have kids, it means we have too many armed robbers in the world---please do not bring more in! Thank you!


_{Worry about this! Worry about that!--Meanwhile life is passing you by!!!! Drastic measures my eye!}

BABEELOVE:

What do you mean by drastic measures?

It is only in "Africa" that the ablity to produce children you cannot "feed" becomes an issue! Not having children is not a curse you know! Many people have children and do not bother about them. This is not a matter of life and death that calls for the so-called "drastic" measures! Many have died and left children to be raised by someone else. Learn to live your life the way you were created, unless you are the "it is not my portion in Jisos' name" type! Then goodluck with your "portion"!!! If you were not chosen to have kids, it means we have too many armed robbers in the world---please do not bring more in! Thank you!


_{Worry about this! Worry about that!--Meanwhile life is passing you by!!!! Drastic measures my eye!}

I'm assuming you have to worry about a lot of things for you to come out like that. Just what side of the bed did you wake up this morning?

It is really sad to think that in this day and age the author of a topic is somewhat ridiculed because of something that STILL is an issue. Just because
you're in the US doesn't mean the it's not an issue here. To go all the way to insinuate "armed robbers" or (whatever that means).

I don't recall insulting you in anyway, but because i don't know who you are, i'll assume you were in a very bad mood (charity begins at home you know)


I asked a simple question. If you can't answer it or at least give meaningful input, then shut it! I can pay for trouble and i don't do the free types from the likes of you

_{(can you imagine, "life passing you by" - what about the time you used to post that crap?)}

Due to BABELOVE's post the question has been edited.

WebMonk:

I'm assuming you have to worry about a lot of things for you to come out like that. Just what side of the bed did you wake up this morning?

It is really sad to think that in this day and age the author of a topic is somewhat ridiculed because of something that STILL is an issue. Just because
you're in the US doesn't mean the it's not an issue here. To go all the way to insinuate "armed robbers" or (whatever that means).

I don't recall insulting you in anyway, but because i don't know who you are, i'll assume you were in a very bad mood (charity begins at home you know)


I asked a simple question. If you can't answer it or at least give meaningful input, then shut it! I can pay for trouble and i don't do the free types from the likes of you

_{(can you imagine, "life passing you by" - what about the time you used to post that crap?)}

Due to BABELOVE's post the question has been edited.

I am sorry you think life is passing me by!   Far from it ---I am zooming through life with so much pleasure you cannot even imagine!   I did not mean my post as an insult but as a word of caution to those who obsess about what they do not have instead of being grateful for what they have.  Then you mentioned the "drastic measures angle of it"!!!!

Are there not too many armed robbers and cultists in Nigeria and the world in general?

Please I woke up good today and have not insulted you in anyway---get over yourself and take a chill pill!  Drastic measures-----No!---preach for "drastic measures" phock around and keep populating the world with "children"---some do not even have time to recognize-----so one can be proud of "the chosen" ones!!!!  Learn to be grateful for what you have been blessed with and leave the  so called "African" drastic measures in the toilet where they belong!  Period!!!!

Wonder why u're at each other's throats when u're both practically sayin the same thing.

THE MOVIE : all my life

THE SISTER: rita dominic

THE DRASTIC MEASURES: impregnating the sis

lol i just tot i give a better analysis
@poster tnk me l8r

lamidebaby:

Wonder why u're at each other's throats when u're both practically sayin the same thing.

I could say i didn't like her temperament one bit, so i decided to leave it at that. I guess topics take time to catch up.

@aciddrop, thanks for the info. The movie was funny, especially Zack's reaction to the death of his child (throwing the pots, the shotgun, etc)

hahah, yeah i remeber that, especcially the begining when zack orji was dating omotala's friend

lamidebaby:

Wonder why u're at each other's throats when u're both practically sayin the same thing.

I wonder oh! It must be the time of the month for both males and females!

afrodixie:

I wonder oh! It must be the time of the month for both males and females!

I guess it is.

WebMonk:

I guess it is.

Now that is better! Now what drastic measures would do you recommend for couples or individuals who are desparately waiting for the fruit of the loom?

afrodixie:

Now that is better! Now what drastic measures would do you recommend for couples or individuals who are desparately waiting for the fruit of the loom?

Depends on the lifestyle you were before one can call it drastic measures.

- Stop sleeping around
- Abstinence ("Lock Up"
- Be wise
- Pray/Fast
- Anything else i missed. you get the idea

But this seems most appealing/mostly used by people who have messed up to some degree (defaulting any of the above).

So if one is okay from the above, i don't think he/she should worry - <sub>just it's a sad sight at those who are in that dilema

PS. Why did no one come when BABELOVE was blasting this thread?</sub>

to add to yours web,

love each other more and be happy
make love often (especially around the 'unsafe period'
work with your OB doctor and stay away from alchohol completely

Depend on God and put HIM first.

omoge:

to add to yours web,

love each other more and be happy
make love often (especially around the 'unsafe period'
work with your OB doctor and stay away from alchohol completely

Depend on God and put HIM first.

_{(like any Director worth his salt would say, )} It's a wrap folks!

WebMonk:

Depends on the lifestyle you were before one can call it drastic measures.

- Stop sleeping around
- Abstinence ("Lock Up"
- Be wise
- Pray/Fast
- Anything else i missed. you get the idea

But this seems most appealing/mostly used by people who have messed up to some degree (defaulting any of the above).

So if one is okay from the above, i don't think he/she should worry - <sub>just it's a sad sight at those who are in that dilema

PS. Why did no one come when BABELOVE was blasting this thread?</sub>

_{Because no one wants to deal with the "BABEELOVE" madness!}

Well, everyone has ways of dealing with the infertility problem.  I do not think if I were a guy I would father a child from a woman just as a means to an end product.---Just like that?   But in Africa "womanizing" is the order of the day so it makes things easier.  I can never have a child for a man I do not care about---just because I want to have a child? How can I love that child? ---a product of stress! Like molestation!

Thank God for modern science!   Since I have been tied, nipped and burned to prevent any further oooooooooPses----I just decided to have some "items" fertilized and stored---about 10 embryos----pay for storage fees every year.  In the future if I have the urge to parent again---I will pay someone to carry them----for the one I love thank God!  All will have the same daddy! ---If I do not use them---I can sell them in the future!

This is the best option personally.  I know at least what I am getting into without all the unnecessary risks and drama!

ALL right, you got me on that one _{(Am i the 3850th victim of such? i get the feeling i am)}

afrodixie:

_{Because no one wants to deal with the "BABEELOVE" madness!}

Thank God for modern science! Since I have been tied, nipped and burned to prevent any further oooooooooPses----I just decided to have some "items" fertilized and stored---about 10 embryos----pay for storage fees every year. In the future if I have the urge to parent again---I will pay someone to carry them----for the one I love thank God! All will have the same daddy! ---If I do not use them---I can sell them in the future!

This is the best option personally. I know at least what I am getting into without all the unnecessary risks and drama!

I guess that requires some balls (ignore the pun) . Well done! _{(Well, who said one can't look at everything from an investment perspective?)}

See a doctor & try IVF. Medicine can do a lot, these days.

laudate:

See a doctor & try IVF. Medicine can do a lot, these days.

My sentiments exactly! Rent an egg, sperm, womb or any missing part to completet the "puzzle"!!!!

_{If you want to screw around--just do so!  Do not use infertility as an excuse!}

for every African family, having children ( i didn't say child) is expected.
it is culture basically,
and like every culture, pple who dnt conform to the dictates are seen as abnormal
modernization has improved things a lot but the fact that it is CULTURE will make it difficult to eradicate or ignore

it always puts pressure on the families affected, no matter how educated or unconcerned they want to appear
because it is CULTURE



the agony of a family without children in Africa is such that should not be wished for ones enemy
even when the families are not fighting them, the couple struggle to be happy


as i said it culture: pples way of life, learned over the centuries, a habit, difficult to ignore

As long as you allow culture to make you a prisoner--you will continue to suffer from it! Welcome to modernization! Culture is good. But only embrace the aspects that give you freedom and fling those out that continue to supress your human growth and development!

afrodixie:

My sentiments exactly! Rent an egg, sperm, womb or any missing part to completet the "puzzle"!!!!

_{If you want to screw around--just do so! Do not use infertility as an excuse!}

Anybody who uses infertility as an excuse to "shine d koko" is taking a DRASTIC MEASURE!

WebMonk:

Anybody who uses infertility as an excuse to "shine d koko" is taking a DRASTIC MEASURE!

A very "expensive drastic measure"---- Especially for the unfortunate children with reconconstited "parenthood"---I could at least sell my "products" to nice adoptive parents in dire need of some offsprings! Hopefully they do not marry themselves in the future without knowing that they are siblings!

<sub>Water go pass garri oh!


Hey! you are not a victim---no victims no vanquised on Nairaland!</sub>

The "Drastic Measure" approach didn't work too well for Abraham.

, And his seeds are battling to this day.

My Advice: Wait, and keep waiting.

Tanna:

The "Drastic Measure" approach didn't work too well for Abraham.

, And his seeds are battling to this day.

My Advice: Wait, and keep waiting.

Tell me about drastic measures and sons and daughters of Abraham. No need to wait--once you hit 28 or 30 maximum----for females especially--please proceed to the nearest fertility clinic and map out a plan with a reproductive specialist--your eggs are still in tip tip form. You can be diagnosed and treated pronto!!! Waiting may further make things worse----especially if there is a disease process that needs urgent attention. I am firm believer in taking control of your life instead of wating for "GODOT"---Godot might never show up!!!!!

Tanna:

The "Drastic Measure" approach didn't work too well for Abraham.

, And his seeds are battling to this day.

My Advice: Wait, and keep waiting.

Wow! Nice one! (By a long shot, timewise)

_{@afrodixie - i'm now convinced that everyone was waiting for the dust to settle b4 they jumped on the thread lol}

WebMonk:

Wow! Nice one! (By a long shot, timewise)

_{@afrodixie - i'm now convinced that everyone was waiting for the dust to settle before they jumped on the thread lol}

Which dust? -----I think just like any typical Nigerian---cowardice is the main fabric of any item of clothing they put on! If you can be intimidated by someone behind a screen name I wonder what most will do in real life


---So much of wondering---Nigeria is full of them---no wonder the country never progresses---useless fear for what you do not understand or see. I wonder why so many religious places are all in every nook and crany---------still searching for answers of the unknown!

Nothing wrong with posting your opinions. If you see dust, you go recognize am?

afrodixie:

Which dust? -----I think just like any typical Nigerian---cowardice is the main fabric of any item of clothing they put on! If you can be intimidated by someone behind a screen name I wonder what most will do in real life


---So much of wondering---Nigeria is full of them---no wonder the country never progresses---useless fear for what you do not understand or see. I wonder why so many religious places are all in every nook and crany---------still searching for answers of the unknown!

Nothing wrong with posting your opinions. If you see dust, you go recognize am?

I'm not sure i get you. You mean me a coward?

WebMonk:

I'm not sure i get you. You mean me a coward?

Of course not!   You at least can voice out your likes and dislikes like a normal functioning human being---I was actually referring to those you felt were waiting for "some dust of a mirage" to settle---to participate in an interesting topic--thanks to you!

Talkng about you! How long would you wait to resort to drastic measures you listed here.  We know your possiblities---now how long would you wait and due to some internal or external "pressures" you would give in if you find your self in the position of "infertile" couples? 1 year, 5 years, 10 years or till your religion tells you?

There's something i always refer to in the Bible about issues like this (and you could apply it to other aspects of life)

Remember when Jacob was told by the Lord that Esau was coming to meet him? He had the lord's assurances, BUT called his wife and developed an exit strategy. Moral of the story. Trust God, but he gave you a brain - Get a backup.

If and when i can, i'll probably store up my "goodies" in a bank _{(But sometimes i have so much of the stuff you wonder if you're not the factory/candy shop)}

The next hurdle is usually convincing your spouse _{(we Nigerians are a lot of suspicious people)}

As you can see, I have so much fun on Nairaland, I sleep with ma new laptop under ma pillow---I had to get up from my pillow to reply this interesting jive of yours! He he he he he he he he   I don die for laff!

Well, I am not the "waiting for Godot" type---I usually like to take matters into my own hands since my good lord also gave me all the resources to take care of ma needs. Heaven will usually help those who help themselves---that is the difference between developed countries and retro-developing countries!


You have a lot of stuff eh?  Well hopefully they are not sun bathing at the beach side and afraid to swim!  Yeah!  Convincing an "illiterate" or "uninformed" spouse can really pose a problem in all the demystification process.  All I can say is "thank you Lord"--I do not have to face this kind of problem---for giving me the foresight to listen to ma parents---because the world has become a sad state of affairs. If I did not have kids when I did---nothing in this world would have made me have them now----really not worth the stress!  Much Ado About Nothing!!!!!

Well, good luck in your endeavours and it has truly been a pleasure meeting you!

mellow:

Babeelove was right. the monent your wife is not pregnant you and your wife become anxious.

This anxiety can lead to so many things. I believe the best things is for people to relax and have

fun and wait for the time when the old man up there deem them fit to have issue/s > Do not, I repeat

do not take any drastic meassure remeber ABRAHAM INABILITY TO SAY NO TO SERAH AND TO HOLD HIMSELF
is what is causing all these peaceless in the world today.[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]