₦airaland Forum

https://www.nairaland.com/8035527/please-what-should#129201430

This is a follow up to thread above and I just wanted to add more flesh and bring to the family discussion section.

Quick summary, the op had a good job offer and and the husband wanted her to reject a good job offer out of his own senses of insecurities.

Like I commented, as a woman your career is everything, I am not advising that you neglect your husband but just to give a heads up and how to order important priorities in your life.

If you get your career wrong as a woman, you will most likely be unhappy the rest of your life.

Your career is more important, than husband, children, family, church, mosques, religion and every other thing else.
A successful career gives you control over and a big in life.

Do not give up a good career because of your husband or family and a career does not mean an anyhow job, it means that job that has a great potential to make you blow and very successful in life.

You will know it when you land that job. If you do not have the job yet, carefully select a course of study that will guarantee and very good career.

With a good career and money, respect will come, better men will take notice of you.

While the fictional husband is soft in the head or said he wanted a housewife and the babe wasn't listening, your post goes the opposite tangent.

A wise woman knows that her career is not her 'all in all' and knows her God, her purpose and her family (husband, kids) are more important than her job/career.

Reality have also shown that more money/ good careers doesn't always translate to 'a better man'.

Good career and success for a woman translates to more opportunities and abilities to effectively have a control over your life as individual without having to depend on others.
It places a woman in places where they are able to have contact with successful men.

Then th family is able to succeed more because she can also contribute financially.

Sapasenator:
1. Good career and success for a woman translates to more opportunities and abilities to effectively have a control over your life as

2. individual without having to depend on others.

3. It places a woman in places where they are able to have contact with successful men.

4. Then th family is able to succeed more because she can also contribute financially.

1. True

2. There is no independent human being. We all mostly interdependent while some people are dependents. In essence, there is no one who makes decisions without factoring other people or things.

3. True however note that meeting successful men doesn't solve the OP's problem: a husband who doesn't want his wife to earn more than him.

4. True if the wife is inclined to do so and/or the husband is receptive to that.

Sapasenator:
https://www.nairaland.com/8035527/please-what-should#129201430
This is a follow up to thread above and I just wanted to add more flesh and bring to the family discussion section.
Quick summary, the op had a good job offer and and the husband wanted her to reject a good job offer out of his own senses of insecurities.
Like I commented, as a woman your career is everything, I am not advising that you neglect your husband but just to give a heads up and how to order important priorities in your life.
If you get your career wrong as a woman, you will most likely be unhappy the rest of your life.
Your career is more important, than husband, children, family, church, mosques, religion and every other thing else.
A successful career gives you control over and a big in life.
Do not give up a good career because of your husband or family and a career does not mean an anyhow job, it means that job that has a great potential to make you blow and very successful in life.
You will know it when you land that job. If you do not have the job yet, carefully select a course of study that will guarantee and very good career.
With a good career and money, respect will come, better men will take notice of you.

as much as you are right about "some" of the above you wrote, lets us not forget:
A) as much as a woman's career is important, it should never be more important than your family. the family unit is whats more important, and as much this man is insecure (of course), not all job offers should be accepted, just because they are offered to you....it has to be compatible with the family.
B) sadly, many women chose their career over family and ended being unhappy for the rest of their lives. as much as it isnt an easy choice to make, you have to be very careful of the choices you take in life. if you are a mentally broke woman, then probably financial choices you take in life will lead you to misery. if you have a happy marriage then any decision you take shouldnt affect your marriage (unless you are married to an insecure man)... but if all your decisions affect your marriage's wellbeing then the problem is your failed mindset that wanna prioritize your selfish self rather than YOUR FAMILY UNIT.
C) if you have a happy marriage with a happy family therefore you career is irrelevant to that... if now you suddenly want to prioritize your career over your family wellbeing, your husband, your children, your religion etc then the problem is YOU (or in your head).
D) many women have to give up their great career to rear children, and as much it is needed for the wellbeing of the family, it doesnt mean that you are done with your career.... it just means that FOR THE TIME BEING, there is something more important than your career. if you believe that your career is more important than having children and raising these kids til they are old enough to go to kindergarden, then i believe again, the problem is you (or in your head).
E) if you are a single woman then YES prioritize your career over anything else, but if you are already married then what "better men" are you talking of exactly? the initial post on the subject is about a MARRIED WOMAN... therefore before you focus on money/career or respect from men, you should first focus on your FAMILY and its wellbeing, and the only respect you should require, is that of your husband and family.

but let us not forget that the woman in the initial post is married to a very insecure man, but also that this woman is desperate to get a job (after 3 years searching in vain)

MrBrownJay1:
as much as you are right about "some" of the above you wrote, lets us not forget:
A) as much as a woman's career is important, it should never be more important than your family. the family unit is whats more important, and as much this man is insecure (of course), not all job offers should be accepted, just because they are offered to you....it has to be compatible with the family.
B) sadly, many women chose their career over family and ended being unhappy for the rest of their lives. as much as it isnt an easy choice to make, you have to be very careful of the choices you take in life. if you are a mentally broke woman, then probably financial choices you take in life will lead you to misery. if you have a happy marriage then any decision you take shouldnt affect your marriage (unless you are married to an insecure man)... but if all your decisions affect your marriage's wellbeing then the problem is your failed mindset that wanna prioritize your selfish self rather than YOUR FAMILY UNIT.
C) if you have a happy marriage with a happy family therefore you career is irrelevant to that... if now you suddenly want to prioritize your career over your family wellbeing, your husband, your children, your religion etc then the problem is YOU (or in your head).
D) many women have to give up their great career to rear children, and as much it is needed for the wellbeing of the family, it doesnt mean that you are done with your career.... it just means that FOR THE TIME BEING, there is something more important than your career. if you believe that your career is more important than having children and raising these kids til they are old enough to go to kindergarden, then i believe again, the problem is you (or in your head).
E) if you are a single woman then YES prioritize your career over anything else, but if you are already married then what "better men" are you talking of exactly? the initial post on the subject is about a MARRIED WOMAN... therefore before you focus on money/career or respect from men, you should first focus on your FAMILY and its wellbeing, and the only respect you should require, is that of your husband and family.

but let us not forget that the woman in the initial post is married to a very insecure man, but also that this woman is desperate to get a job (after 3 years searching in vain)

I totally agree with you submissions above.