Jesus was with his disciples walking through Jerusalem when they came upon a crowd that was going to stone a woman to death for adultery. He jumped in front of the woman and said, "Let the one without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, from out of the crowd, a rock flew toward the woman's head. It struck her square in the temple, killing her instantly. Jesus said, "Mother, I was trying to make a point!"

this joke sulks

what has christ done to u to desrve this insult on his majesty

why make fun of ur saviour in this whole wide world is there element u can make fun of it not christ

pls i beg of u look else where for ur object of abstract mokery

clemcykul:

this joke sulks

what has christ done to u to desrve this insult on his majesty

why make fun of your saviour in this whole wide world is there element u can make fun of it not christ

please i beg of u look else where for your object of abstract mokery

haba, chill out a little ,nice joke.i cld not help laughing.God 4give me oh

U'll need more than just dat.

thats not a joke its not even funny who threw the rock was he without sin and what point was he trying to prove

@Lancaster
am sure u did not read the joke well.
the person who threw the stone was
HOLY MARY, Jesus' mother
and rem as per catholics she was without sin
is dat abit clear now?

clem easy now that was nt bad ooo i laughed ,

Crhihk la raza!

Apparently for some their sense of humour goes out of the window the moment it touches on their most cherished beliefs

Anyway, let's be fair and balanced, shall we? We should be able to mock all and everything: here's a little joke at the expense of atheists:

The Atheist and the Bear!

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing.

He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!, "
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky, "You deny my existence for all of these years; teach others I don't exist; and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me as Christian now, but perhaps could you make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran again.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
And then the bear dropped his right paw , brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful, AMEN!"

Mellow!! If u had laughed over this then dont dare taking holy communion on sunday . I am ashamed of you as a catholic.

As per the anti christ that posted this joke---this site is not a porn site of a place where u just come and show everybody the level of your atheism.

I am a catholic and I take an exception to this joke that puts my faith in question.

Mellow!! If  u had laughed over this then dont dare taking holy communion on sunday . I am ashamed of you as a catholic.

As per the anti christ that posted this joke---this site is not a porn site of a place where u just come and show everybody the level of your atheism.

I am a catholic and I take an exception to this joke that puts my faith in question.

please is it that i do not understand the joke or it is not funny?

i need someone to explain

@mopegirl.
I'll help u.
Bcus it waz posted in d jokes section, u xpectd it to be 4ny, but bcus its not, u're confused(u dont _stand).

badgood:

Mellow!! If u had laughed over this then don't dare taking holy communion on sunday . I am ashamed of you as a catholic.

Ah the self righteous ones, how wonderful
Did you even stop to wonder which parable the joke was based on?

badgood:

As per the anti christ that posted this joke---this site is not a porn site of a place where u just come and show everybody the level of your atheism.

This is probably a prime contender in the contest "how many fallacious and idiotic arguments can you put in one sentence".
1. What does this have to do with porn?
2. anti christ? Definitely not. I'm not anti-fairy either.
3. cannot show my level of atheism? Where did you get that idea? Run away fast from this forum, as the owner is an atheist as well

badgood:

I am a catholic and I take an exception to this joke that puts my faith in question.

You're not obliged to laugh or to find it funny. Your reaction shows you're a closed minded bigot though.

Migines:

@mopegirl.
I'll help u.
Bcus it waz posted in d jokes section, u xpectd it to be 4ny, but bcus its not, u're confused(u don't _stand).

I guess Benny Hill is more your kind of humour. Well, can't please everyone

This is the most annoying joke i have ever heard.

i will still be waiting for your explanation

the atheist joke is just good.

The mother mary joke's an american joke. Nigerians hate jabs at religion. I laughed well though. Post pope joke .

hey don't like that, take time

macalurs:

the atheist joke is just good.

The mother mary joke's an american joke. Nigerians hate jabs at religion. I laughed well though. Post pope joke .

You want make them crucify you for here

You see say nferyn still dey explain to them say na just joke wey dem no understand

Una go kill me for Nairaland ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

mopegirl:

i will still be waiting for your explanation

Alright, I'll give it a try, but beware, once you explain a joke, it's no longer funny.
1. based on a well known parable with the moral content: only judge if you're beyond reproach, boiling down to (as none of us are perfect): don't judge.
2. Catholic doctrine states that there is only one woman free from original sin: Mary, the mother of Jesus
3. As Mary is without sin, the saying "Let the one without sin cast the first stone" applies to her
4. So she stones the woman (to death)
5. This invalidates the moral content of the parable
6. Of course, to be funny there needs to happen something unexpected: Mary, blessed among women throwing a stone and killing the woman outright should qualify as unexpected
7. hence, the reason why the above qualifies as a joke.

Please note that to 'get' the joke, you need to know:
1. the special status of Mary among Catholic believers
2. the parable on which this is based
3. that Jesus was trying to make a point with this parable and didn't mean it to be take literally
4. which in itself is a wink to our protestant Biblical literalists
5. which makes this joke somewhat 'friendly' to our Catholic friends
6. and is a jab at those calling themselves Catholic that want to take the Bible literally (you know faith and works, scripture and tradition )

nferyn:

Jesus was with his disciples walking through Jerusalem when they came upon a crowd that was going to stone a woman to death for adultery. He jumped in front of the woman and said, "Let the one without sin cast the first stone." Suddenly, from out of the crowd, a rock flew toward the woman's head. It struck her square in the temple, killing her instantly. Jesus said, "Mother, I was trying to make a point!"

"Anyways, here's another opportunity for me to perform a miracle"
Then he raised her from the dead .

Perhaps it would be a better joke if the woman collapsed but didn't actually die?

Seun:

Perhaps it would be a better joke if the woman collapsed but didn't actually die?

The moment you try to make a joke more politically correct, it stops being funny. Either you think it's funny or you don't

I wuld have been a joke if it waznt actuall a joke. I mean. . . . If it really happnd it wuld av been funny.

Maybe we can extend this thread to a discussion on the ontological status of Jokes

When is a joke funny?

I just feel Catholics won't be willing to accept the idea of Mary being a murderer.

nferyn:

Maybe we can extend this thread to a discussion on the ontological status of Jokes

When is a joke funny?

I doubt if the objection to laughter (at least in this case) stems so much from the 'funniness' of the joke itself, rather than the status of the hearers. A joke that is not done at the expense of the hearer is always (or usually) funny, whilst if its done at the expense of what the hearer holds dear, it might lose its ability to provoke a laugh.
We are all sensitive beings you know - especially the few that happen to hold some things dear.
Depending on the content (and perhaps context), i may or may not laugh at a joke done at the expense of my mum. However, that does not mean we don't tease her though.

I think its really a tough call.

Seun:

I just feel Catholics won't be willing to accept the idea of Mary being a murderer.

And Protestants will?
Anyway, it's a joke people, a joke

nferyn:

Maybe we can extend this thread to a discussion on the ontological status of Jokes

When is a joke funny?

of course that's not mentioning the fact that some 'inside' jokes tend not to provoke a laugh if the hearer does not understand the context of the joke itself. I remember when i was younger and read Reader's Digest, because i wasn't an american i found it hard to understand the jokes, let alone laugh. As i grew to have a broader context, the jokes became much more meaningful and provoked much more laughter.

ricadelide:

I doubt if the objection to laughter (at least in this case) stems so much from the 'funniness' of the joke itself, rather than the status of the hearers. A joke that is not done at the expense of the hearer is always (or usually) funny, whilst if its done at the expense of what the hearer holds dear, it might lose its ability to provoke a laugh.

If anyone thinks that I was serious about Mary being a murderer, then then need to have their head examined, I even added the atheist joke for that reason.

ricadelide:

We are all sensitive beings you know - especially the few that happen to hold some things dear.

re you implying something here, perhaps?

ricadelide:

Depending on the content (and perhaps context), i may or may not laugh at a joke done at the expense of my mum. However, that does not mean we don't tease her though.

ricadelide, be careful or I might think you're (literally) suffering from a God-complex
Your mum, you said?

ricadelide:

I think its really a tough call.

As far as I'm concerned, there's little off bounds when it come to humour, except when done with the explicit intention of hurting people, which is definitely not the case here.