₦airaland Forum

Ibrahimado:
During late last year, during our marriage preparation she did not come to her place of work for four days and she was stop from working and her November salary with held without paying her a dime, so she started crying and I use my hard earn money to pay her the money 40k. around this year February she was called to resume back the work, then I was already in Lagos. So informed me about her resume the job a month later, I was upset and I ask her, if they have paid her the month they owe her, she wave it off, she said they will pay her. I said okay.
So concerning this present issue at hand, she said she saw the office money on the floor and kept It in her bag in order for her to return it later but when she went out for like an hour later, they ransack her bag and saw the money, she said she has no intention of stealing the money or taken it home, but all her plea fell on deaf ear.

u yourself can see there's much to the story

They told her to leave n she didn't explain y, they took her back n she didn't explain y again

They used money to set a trap n she fell for it, meaning they have been observing her since n suspecting her

Bro no b today your wife dey steal abeg, the fact she hid it from u doesn't mean she doesn't do it

I know there are many hidden things u don't even know about her ways in d office, better don't act in defence but mediate in d matter n probably have a heart to heart discussion with her

tanigororo:
Is that the only evidence they have?
Even if the case got escalated to court, court is about narrative and how to disprove facts.

What if she has 30k with her too that she can't remember?

Any Evidence for the Boss to proof that the money found is the companys money?

What if someone implanted it in her bag?

What if the boss was making a pass at her and she turned him down and decided to punish her?

Or perhaps they are having an affair and she wants to stop, but boss wants to continue and decided to punish her for that by setting her up.

see u

For someone to use money to set a trap don't u think they might have video evidence too?

U should understand that there's more to this, the op doesn't know everything that transpired n the boss too will not open everything to op cos it might lead to court case

Don't b surprised the boss n other workers have more evidences against the wife that the op doesn't even know about

Sharpsharp00123:
see u

For someone to use money to set a trap don't u think they might have video evidence too?

U should understand that there's more to this, the op doesn't know everything that transpired n the boss too will not open everything to op cos it might lead to court case

Don't b surprised the boss n other workers have more evidences against the wife that the op doesn't even know about

But still he needs to stands by his wife.
Standing by his wife doesn't entails escalating the case

NwaliE01:
Someone that has not steal from you, a devoted Christian, a treasurer in the church, a prudent wife, and a trustworthy person to you. She told you she didn't steal and you believe her boss much more than her.

I weep!

This is a moment to standby her and not to investigating her like the FBI.

Mr. If your wife said she's innocent, believe her against the WHOLE world.

Except you have been looking for a reason to end the marriage.

Your position in this whole saga is pretty clear, and I could sense where you were going when you mentioned that you don't have a baby with her yet.

You even get mind involve her pastor and even contemplating involving your extended family.

Oga, e don do na!

She told you she's innocent and she has proven it over the years.
Cut the woman some slack abeg.

What if it was a set up from someone who might has been asking her out in the office, since you live separately?

Your woman is going through severe pain Sir.. please, stop adding to it.

I can feel her hurt and betrayal of trust from the one she love.

did u read the part where she was sacked last year n didn't explained y to op?

She was reinstated this year n still didn't explain y to op?

There are many things people in her office knows that op doesn't know, she has been doing it since but they have no real evidence against her, they just set her up by throwing d money on d floor n she fell for it

She took d money n didn't inform anyone, what was her intention?

Bros the fact that op didn't know it doesn't mean it's not happening, the fact that husband doesn't know wife is sleeping around doesn't mean it's not happening

For the op to take d boss side it means there are some evidences d boss presented that he can't even say online

Bro there's more to this n if op digs deeper it will ruin his marriage cos there are many things he doesn't know

tanigororo:
But still he needs to stands by his wife.
Standing by his wife doesn't entails escalating the case

bros the best way to solve this issue is to just appreciate the boss n move on

If by standing by her wife u mean he should b defensive then I bet u that he might lose the marriage, cos the boss might b left with no option other than to reveal more damaging things he doesn't know before which might cause problems

Only little evidence broke d op, what makes u feel d boss doesn't have more damaging evidences?

Make op just tell the boss thank u just to give him a permanent shut up, but if he decides to defend then the boss might say more

If na me b op the best way to shut d boss up for life is to tell him

Ok sir

That's a strong word that means I am not willing to hear anything from u again n the boss will get the message n their home will still b intact

Sharpsharp00123:
bros the best way to solve this issue is to just appreciate the boss n move on

If by standing by her wife u mean he should b defensive then I bet u that he might lose the marriage, cos the boss might b left with no option other than to reveal more damaging things he doesn't know before which might cause problems

Only little evidence broke d op, what makes u feel d boss doesn't have more damaging evidences?

Make op just tell the boss thank u just to give him a permanent shut up, but if he decides to defend then the boss might say more

If na me b op the best way to shut d boss up for life is to tell him

Ok sir

That's a strong word that means I am not willing to hear anything from u again n the boss will get the message n their home will still b intact

Okay Sir

There is no justifiable reason to find lost money in her bag.
Since since has been punished for the act, please stand with her and let it be between you alone.
However, watch her closely to be sure it was a one of.
She might just fall for a set up. Spirit attached to money is very high. It takes grace of God to be free from money temptation.

.

Ibrahimado:
1) She save all her contact in her email, and her email is log into my phone.
2) I don't have such intentions to reveal her secret to my family or her
3) I'm not considering divorce but ways to hand it more efficiently and maturely. She is a lovely wife every man can wish for but it hurt to know your wife reputation is stained.

1. Her email logs into your phone so you took it on yourself to, without her permission, converse with her boss?

2. Then why mention your family as though they needed to know about your wife's vices from you?

3. Ways to handle what? I am not sure what the details are but shouldn't you be there for your wife no matter what? If it turns out she stole it, shouldn't you be on her side still and be there for her to confess and talk to instead?

abbasajao:
There is no justifiable reason to find lost money in her bag. Since since has been punished for the act, please stand with her and let it be between you alone. However, watch her closely to be sure it was a one of. She might just fall for a set up. Spirit attached to money is very high. It takes grace of God to be free from money temptation.

Self-discipline and self-control is what it takes, not your grace of God... you all use that phrase as an excuse not to do what ought to be common sense.

id4sho:
■ Let her get another job but put her on close watch

Close watch, how? Is she his child abi his ward? If OP believes that his wife has kleptomaniac tendencies, then wouldn't it be best to suggest to her that seeing a psychiatrist may be the best resolution?

Ibrahimado:
I understand your point, how about defending her, and her boss escalate the situation and it involve police and they have the evidence and you know, we are in a lawless country and it resolve to court case because they have the evidence. Please tell me, how can I stand by her now. I will be glad to learn from you.

Be like you no take vow during your wedding

Abi , ain’t it ‘ for better for worse ‘ again??

Ibrahimado:
■ We don't stay in same state for now, she left my place about 10 days ago after two days that was when this accusations came in, and when she was going I gave her 50k.
■ So it baffle me that just two days, she will start stealing when she even have money in her account. We have not see,since they accuse her, in order for me to judge her physically.

8 days ago and you already, behind her back, called and talked to her boss?

2. Is this person a woman and wife to you or just a child you picked up and are sponsoring? You way you regard her concerns me as it seems you are looking for a way to cast her down rather than be the supportive husband to her even through this.

Ibrahimado:
■ They have resolve it, in their place of work and they have relieved her of her job but the issue here is why will she be accused of stealing and of a truth, I believe her boss explanation more than her own, because the evidence and detail explanation is very clear to me, she is just crying that she can't do such and that they set her up, but it is not adding up to me.

If you already made up your mind to believe her boss over her, then you have your chosen truth which is that your wife is a thief, right? Whether she is crying or not, your mind is made up that she is a thief. It seems very simple to me. So, what are you bugging about?

Ibrahimado:
Please I want to be straight to the point,
My woman that we got married late last year, no children yet was just accuse of stealing in her place of work. And the evidence is very clear that she committed the crime. But she has deny it vehemently. But all evidence points that she did it. They did not disgrace her but silently told her to leave the work. She has be a supportive wife right from when we where dating. I did not see stealing during our courtship/dating. Last week, I had conversations with her boss and her boss open everything/story for me, it break my heart that her name is associated with stealing and just that last week, when she came to my place of work, I gave her 50k for her up keeping. And I do send her 10k weekly feeding, we don't stay in same place. She stay in Benin why I work in lagos. She stay alone. She is a very fervent Christian and it is hurting me since a week now, that my woman can be accuse of stealing. I don't steal and it is against my principle. She don't lack in that place of her work. I have not informed my family and her family. Because I don't want her to lose the respect they accord her. It is breaking me since a week now. What should I do my fellow people, I will be glad with all your inputs. I'm a nairaland of over 13 years.
Moreover, she has not steal from me and she don't ask too much money from me, she is always a contented person. She don't spend
outrageously like me, no extra expenses/bill on her from her side or my side. Still I'm hearing all this thing from the first time. She is even her church treasurer for over 6years and her pastor has been calling me and telling me that she can't do it but I'm confused because the evidence is very glance in my eye from her boss narrative.

You are a mumu man. You believed your wife boss(stranger) more than your wife.

Deep down in you, she did not steal but because of your insecurity, you believed that she stole.

NwaAmaikpe:




My brother,
You have no reason to look for a reason or to rationalize why she shouldn't be stealing when you confirmed yourself that the evidence presented to you is incontrovertible.

Denial is the worst stage of grief because to question reality and even bargain with facts puts one at par with hallucinating lunatics.

Experience has proven to NwaAmaikpe that the only creature that hides it's shit better than a pussy cat is a lying Nigerian woman. But just like the shït of a pussy cat, the stench of their wrongs always gives them away.

I feel so sorry for you because it was you who played yourself and that's why my problem here is not that your wife may have stolen.

The first rule in the Gentleman's guide to marriage book is; the only relationship that should carry on in distance is a casual one.

After the stomach, the kpekus is the second most ungrateful part of a human being. No matter how full you get it today, it MUST complain the next day when it wants to be full.

It gets even worse because a kpekus has no meter.

If a woman who sleeps on the same bed with her husband will shag a colleague in the store room at work, how much more one whose husband lives in Lagos while she lives in the capital of whoredom.

The fourth rule is, NEVER marry a lady who is neckdeep in church activities because there is a higher probability of her being engaged in something extremely unholy.
No pastor picks up a fückmate from a brothel, it begins from the church and there is no better victim than a vulnerable lonely wife.

That brings my final suspicion.
Despite the proof, why is a pastor who should be the impartial one to chastise her the one attesting to her innocence?

It points to something, he either knows her just as well as you do or even better than you and that is the actual problem I see in this story.

It is up to you to make out what the handwriting on this wall is.

She works, you load her with money, she has no building projects, you don't put her under financial pressure, so except she is a kleptomaniac, she is most likely stealing for another man.

But it is not from NwaAmaikpe's mouth that you will hear that someone else's preek has been expanding your wife's kpekus.

😲