If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the. , ?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes, Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life, quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm, )

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)

uchetobi:


A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

"be careful of what you wish for, you just might get it"

The male praying mantis. . .

thanks for the joke

@ poster

Really want organsm then come to Daddy , funny keep it coming gurl

Chuxy:

@ poster

Really want organsm then come to Daddy , funny keep it coming girl

daddie i need it where are you jest give me a second lol nice joke

I got this mail from a friend called Becky:

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour

(Don't try this at home, maybe at work)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the. , ?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes, Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life, quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm, )

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out.)



An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains

(I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)


Personally, I envy the cockroach. Who knows, in all that time they might find a way to stick my head back on. But, the lion…o boy! No wonder he is so lean, mean and lazy. Who wants to be a mantis? I bet women would love all guys to be mantis, pleasure without the subsequent snoring!

And this was my reply:

While wait till your next life, when I can make you squirt in a couple of minutes

@sniper
i saw it yesterday

Migines:

@sniper
i saw it yesterday

What did you see, do you mean the Pig Envy mail or what?

@poster

Why wait till the next life!! Go look for that pig(male) and swap places

I got this joke sent to my mail like 3 years ago but I still get a kick out of it anytime I read it.

def i envy the pig too