a few years ago an igbo man married using the traditional method of 3rd party system. he bought a piece of land which he intended to build a house for him and his family. but after some time his business collapses and now with 4 kids they are about to be evicted from were they stay. The wife on the other hand has been doing well but their marriage has suffered as a result and now she comes to him and ask if she can build a house on that land he has.

I guess the house the wife wants to build is meant for the family or does she want to label if MY HOUSE instead of OUR HOUSE? I dont think there is anything wrong if she builds the house except if she has the syndrome of personalizing whatever she buys with her money. As it were, they are about to be evicted from their home and if the wife has agreed to help out, I see no reason why she shouldn't. Although the husband may not find the situation palatable, but the prayer is that his business picks up so that he join the wife in building the house together.

The truth is time has changed and in many homes the wife find themselves as the main financier. In such situations, the husband may feel threatened as it is expected that the husband should be the provider. With understanding sha, couples could pull it off but the wife shouldn't rub it in at any given opportunity. At least if is better that one of them is still making good money irrespective whether it is the husband or the wife than for the two of them to be broke. There are instances where the wife earns six times the husband's pay, what will you do? blame God, wallow in self pity or live your life the best way u could while u work on yourself and hope for the best.

The man is out of work and so has plenty of down time.

The wife wants to build a house.

I dont see any quandary here- are they going to hire someone to supervise the building when the husband is right there and available?

I don't see what the issue is here (but then, I am not familiar with the Igbo culture well enough to know the significance of the wife building the house). With 4 kids, I don't think the woman is going to find another husband. The man needs to tame his ego and let the wife do what's best for the family. With time, his business will pick up and they can use his money to build a second house in the village.