I was very happy when I realized that I was pregnant, though I didn’t initially go for Doctor’s confirmation, I was quite sure even though I was just 3 weeks gone then.  I shared the news with my hubby and he also was excited about the news of our very first baby. As the weeks progressed, we decided to go to the clinic for confirmation and it was no longer a surprise when I was confirmed pregnant.

At about 7th/8th (2months) weeks, a very observant person could see the changes in me, I was adding a little wait, eating more, bust getting bigger and all that. Well, as for morning sickness, I was quite lucky as I didn’t undergo any stressful pregnancy symptoms.  Even throughout , I was quite strong and my colleagues kept guessing whether I was pregnant or not.

By week 10, some of my fitted cloths/shirts were getting a bit tight on me. I recall the first shopping towards my pregnancy, myself and my husband went looking for more comfortable clothing and even bought some I expected to wear in 4/5/6th month of pregnancy. At this time, my Doctor told me to start Antenatal at 12th week (3months) and I eagerly waited for this time.

Then came the 12th week, I was happy to have gone through the first trimester without stress.  On that Saturday, I prepared to attend the first antenatal (in the company of my husband sha). After much question and answer preamble, the time came for me to be scanned. The scan result indicated that the baby was smaller than what it ought to be. I was referred to another test centre recognised for their expertise on scans, there it was also confirmed that the baby is too small for 12 weeks, looks more like 7wks and moreso her heartbeat could not be felt. I was advised to watch the development by coming for scan at regular intervals.

On Monday morning at work, I started seeing traces of blood and later in the evening it was coming just like a menstrual flow. On my way from work, my hubby and I visited my Doctor who advised us to abort the baby as it seems it is not growing well from all indications. We refused to buy his suggestion and decided to nurse the pregnancy. The flow continued and by Tuesday night it became very heavy and that night the flow came with serious cramp. I saw hell, the stomach pain was killing and I could not sleep all through. At day break on Wednesday; the flow became very heavy, rushing out as if a tap was let loose. I was rushed to the hospital.

After another scan, I was told the baby has been partially aborted and the remains had to be evacuated otherwise I would continue bleeding. That was how I lost the baby at 13th week. Our hope and expection just slipped away like that.

I could not go to work for a couple of days and when I resumed, my colleagues started congratulating me. They thought my absence was due to pregnancy/morning sickness thus confirming their suspicion. But then, how could I explain it was a miscarriage?
It’s been a week now,

I am so so sorry for your loss my dear. I cant imagine how you must feel. Tell your collegues the truth, no need hiding it from dem. Just take your time and grieve, you dont have to keep up any appearances. You lost your baby, dont be worried about what pple will say, that is not an issue now

I am sorry for your loss. You will get pregnant again as for your colleagues its up to you if you want to share or not. I know sometimes colleagues become like family so you may not know where to start from but really the choice to share or not is yours and sharing with them may just make you feel lighter.

I personally would not tell them anything. You were not feeling well so you stayed home. End of story. Don't let this get you down. It does not diminish your worth. You will have babies. Focus on other things. Good luck

am sorry about dat
just be strong and stya positive
in no time u will get pregnant again and keep
it till nine months

God is always with you

My dear, so sorry for your loss.!!!!

Awwww . . . . it's so sad!

I wouldnt worry about your colleagues now if I were you. You should be more concerned about recovering from your loss. God is your strenght!

So sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss. Cheer up you will get pregnant again in no time. A piece of advice though, when next you are preggy,see a gynea earlier say from the time you suspect you might be pregnant. God is your strenght.

2mch:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-773873.0.html

I know you are trying to help but I don't think she has gotten to the stage of reading about infertility. She is not infertile. She most likely does not need any medical intervention. I wanted to send a PM but it is not enabled on this forum. I am only saying it because I am sure she is already considering going through unnesasary medical procedures and I doubt that she needs to.

Outstrip:


I know you are trying to help but I don't think she has gotten to the stage of reading about infertility. She is not infertile. She most likely does not need any medical intervention. I wanted to send a PM but it is not enabled on this forum. I am only saying it because I am sure she is already considering going through unnesasary medical procedures and I doubt that she needs to.

So you mean all those other women are infertile? That seems like a more adequate medium for her to meet people who have been where she is. She will be better advised there. Madam, look at that link and you never know what you can learn and not learn to do. Cheers.

^^hello?
She only needed to pour out her pain and have people comfort her on here.
She didnt say she has a problem.
Respect that!

slimyem:

^^hello?
She only needed to pour out her pain and have people comfort her on here.
She didnt say she has a problem.
Respect that!

Hello? And who are you? . If you have no comment or nothing to contribute. skip my posts. .

OP

2mch:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-773873.0.html

@ chaulay 1,im deeply sorry,well its a painful thing ull surely take in again,my wife was a victim , was very paainful,u nevr believe d news,d fun of going for scaanning,all turned zero,d joy of being a fada,but dear take heart,ullmsurely take in again and avoid much stress,ask ur doctor d best lying position,use q stool in d bathroom,avoid bikes and take lots of fruits and once u notice ur heavy see ur doctor,my wife 5 mths pregnant and i dnt allow her do ny tedious job and pleaase u go to market dont over burden ur cf wit loads maadam,ull surely overcome.aand pls see aa gud gynacolosst gud nit

2mch:

Hello? And who are you? . If you have no comment or nothing to contribute. skip my posts. .

OP

i'm a member of this forum like yourself and if i dont agree with your opinion,i'm free to point out what i think.
Deal with it!

So sori 4 ur loss. It's well & u'll smile again.

@chaulay,m so sorry for your loss.your expectations and all.But one thing is for sure,u'll surely take in again.don't b anxious.the miscarriage wasn't your fault in any way.the fact is that the 1st trimester(1st 12weeks)is the most sensitive part of pregnancy and that's when miscarriages are more commonthats why some GP's advise patients not to share the Ǧ☺☺ϑ news2every one till that stage is over and a scan has been done.In your next pregnancy.make sure u don't stress your self and get registered@an antenatal clinic as early as 6weeks.As for your colleagues,there's no need You hiding the truth from them.they ought to understand and u don't owe them anything.just tell them the truth and get it over with.I wish u all the best.

@Chaulay, I'm so sorry for your loss. I understand what you have been through and I pray that Almighty God will give you and your husband strength to pull through. I said I understand because I have gone through that same experience three times all at second trimesters. I won't wish it on an enemy as it is very emotional. But by the grace of God today, I can joyful share that I am a mother to a beautiful baby boy after four years of ups and down.

I can write pages and pages of what those times were. I will encourage you to be strong, as this time will pass. Be patient, don't entertain fear (it easier said but try) and be positive. Please note this that whatever can't kill you, should make you stronger.

Finally, you don't owe anyone explanation if you don't want to discuss the matter. If you are someone like me that don't like people feeling sorry for you, then you can keep it to yourself. But if your colleagues are understanding and won't start asking too much question, then you can share it with the condition that you won't like it to be a subject of too much discussion and you not going through many details.

My prayer is that God will answer you soon. Be strong and be of good courage. God bless.

Sorry

Accept my sympathy dearie, you will definitely get pregnant again.
It will be nice to share ideas with other women and be sure that you were not doing some things you were supposed to go easy on while pregnant like wearing high heels, pounding things in mortar, rough rides in roads with bumps and potholes etc. Some women have had miscarriages through such.
Do take care of yourself while chilling from it all and remember the need for you to fortify yourself with folic acid (through vit c tablets and meals that contain spinach etc) when you do decide to make a go at it again.

OP, sorry about the loss. It is okay to grieve over it, but you need to take positive steps to maintain good health and avoid such in the future. Obey your doctor's orders on healing and don't worry your mind. You don't have to tell anybody at work anything except for official purposes.

If your colleagues ask, tell them point-blank you lost the baby. Accept moderate condolences and switly move-on. I hope you are not freezing your husband out, let him support you as it will only make your bond stronger.

Try and be positive because unfortunately what happened to you happens to many many women as well. God willing you will bear your children and enjoy the joys of motherhood.

Thanks everyone for your comforting words. Yes, I am trying to be strong and be positive despite the incident.
@babydol, tanks for sharing your experience. I believe God knows best. Tank u all.

^You are welcome!

God is your strength. You will pull through and have as many kids as you desire. Continue to be strong. Don't give a sh*t what your colleagues think.
I had a friend that had 3 miscarriages. She got married about 18months ago. Everyone kept asking her what she did as a young girl that God will punish her like this. She has the most sunny personality i know. She would just brush off their criticisms and move on. I noticed that it was mostly her unmarried friends (ex now) and colleagues that asked such st*pid questions.

Poster,I'm so sorry about ur loss. God will give u d grace to 4get.
I saw my menses at 5 weeks after testing positive to pregnancy. It was a Sunday, n I cried so much in church dt my husband asked why I was crying like someone bereaved. I told him I was bereaved;I'd just lost my baby. God saw my tears,n I conceived d next month.
For everyone who has gone thru dt,u'll yet smile again in Jesus' name.

Chauley, so sorry to hear about your loss.
What you had is called a "missed abortion". The heart just stops beating and yet there are no signs that something is amiss. The best thing is to have a d and c done because eventually after some weeks the heavy bleeding and cramps come and you end up having to get one done.
There is nothing you did wrong and neither could you have prevented it.
I have had three consecutive missed abortions in the past it is traumatic but I still went on to have healthy babies without complications.
God is your strength. Take care of yourself.

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard him say
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true
But, God, can you be a mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied
With confidence in his voice
I give many women babies
When they leave it is not their choice
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for the day
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God
I want my baby here

He took a breath
and cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
of love and life and fear
My mommy loved me so much
I got to come straight here
I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
I learned my lessons very quickly
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I am here"

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are okay
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lessons are through
And on the day you come home
they'll be at the gates for you

So now you see
What makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth
May not realize
Until their time is done
Remember all the love you have
And know that you are
A Special Mom

Sorry for your loss, God will definitely compensate you. I know a lady who had a miscarriage after going through serious morning sickness. Guess what, she got pregnant again n gave birth to twins.

@Poster- please take heart and be not discouraged. Often when pregnancy is lost its nature's way of indicating something may have been badly wrong (for example congenital anomaly). So please do not worry much, as long as there is life, there is hope. Just a brief advice- as this is a 2nd trimester loss, do see a gynaecologist next time you are pregnant especially to exclude cervical incompetence.

So sorry for your loss,

I have a colleague who also suffered d same thing, 3 different times, and each time, she bounced back even stronger n more determined.

She has a baby girl now, just slightly over a year old, wen she took in, she was simply on bed rest for d better part of d pregnancy,

And despite all d ups n down, even during her preg. stages in d hosiptal, she pulled thrugh.

You also will pull true ijn.

Remain strong.