See our Hon Madam Speaker Etteh in action while on official duty:


1) On the day the National Assembly was inaugurated,

Mrs Etteh reminded House of Representatives members

of the need to register their names, warning that any person

who failed to do so would have their name "striking out".

Slip of tongue? Perish the thought. The following day

she repeated the phrase "striking out" several times.

2) When a motion was tabled, she asked the member who

was speaking, "are you in support of favour?"

3) Any time the ayes have carried the day on the floor,

she wastes no time in announcing, "the hayes has it".

4) Giving her defence before the David Idoko panel, Etteh

informed the nation that she spoke to the management

of the national assembly if due process was followed

and each person "answered in the affirmation action".

5) When the German ambassador in Abuja visited her, the

speaker enthusiastically announced that the first place

"I visited as a young parliamentarian was a German"

6) When the Spanish ambassador paid her a courtesy visit

with a fairly large delegation, an impressed Etteh spared

no effort to "welcome the strangers".

7) When officials of FERMA visited the House, speaker Etteh

urged them to urgently "make our roads habitable".

To demonstrate the urgency of fixing major roads nationwide,

she did not fail to make the point of the "deploration state of our roads"

9) When a House member tabled a motion on the unenviable

condition of Kaduna Airport , Etteh called attention to the

"two run-aways of our airport".

10) Concerned about the increasing wave of vices, such as

occultism on university campuses, excessive drinking,

smoking and womanising by our youth, she has set for

herself the task of reducing, if not, eradicating these

social vices, which she colourfully calls "social devices".

11) In far-away South Africa , at a meeting of the

African Parliamentary Union, speaker Etteh stated that
Nigeria has vast land where agriculture could thrive
so much, that it could serve as an alternative source
of foreign exchange, or in her own words,

" Nigeria has fast land where agriculture is alternate"

12) To Etteh, the comity of nations can sometimes be
referred to as "international countries".

13) The office of the speaker has regained its aura
as, not just an exalted place, but an "exotic office ".

14) The House has become respected as "a hollow chamber",

rather than just a hallowed chamber.

DO NOT SAID I TOLDED YOU O

Aussie:

See our Hon Madam Speaker Etteh in action while on official duty:


1) On the day the National Assembly was inaugurated,

Mrs Etteh reminded House of Representatives members

of the need to register their names, warning that any person

who failed to do so would have their name "striking out".






Slip of tongue? Perish the thought. The following day

she repeated the phrase "striking out" several times.

2) When a motion was tabled, she asked the member who

was speaking, "are you in support of favour?"

3) Any time the ayes have carried the day on the floor,

she wastes no time in announcing, "the hayes has it".

4) Giving her defence before the David Idoko panel, Etteh

informed the nation that she spoke to the management

of the national assembly if due process was followed

and each person[b] "answered in the affirmation action".[/b]


5) When the German ambassador in Abuja visited her, the

speaker enthusiastically announced that the first place

"I visited as a young parliamentarian was a German"[/b]6) When the Spanish ambassador paid her a courtesy visit

with a fairly large delegation, an impressed Etteh spared

no effort to [b]"welcome the strangers".

7) When officials of FERMA visited the House, speaker Etteh

urged them to urgently "make our roads habitable".

To demonstrate the urgency of fixing major roads nationwide,

she did not fail to make the point of the "deploration state of our roads"


9) When a House member tabled a motion on the unenviable

condition of Kaduna Airport , Etteh called attention to the

"two run-aways of our airport".

10) Concerned about the increasing wave of vices, such as

occultism on university campuses, excessive drinking,

smoking and womanising by our youth, she has set for

herself the task of reducing, if not, eradicating these

social vices, which she colourfully calls[b] "social devices".[/b]

11) In far-away South Africa , at a meeting of the

African Parliamentary Union, speaker Etteh stated that
Nigeria has vast land where agriculture could thrive
so much, that it could serve as an alternative source
of foreign exchange, or in her own words,

" Nigeria has _fast land where agriculture is alternate"

12) To Etteh, the comity of nations can sometimes be
referred to as "international countries".

13) The office of the speaker has regained its aura
as, not just an exalted place, but an "exotic office ".

14) The House has become respected as "a hollow chamber",

rather than just a hallowed chamber.

DO NOT SAID I TOLDED YOU O

Is she related to Daddy Shokey by any chance?---because this honorable member of the "ouse' english dey break Guiness and Gulder botoes!!!!!!!

Aussie:

DO NOT SAID I TOLDED YOU O

Of course, you didnt tolded us, you only spoked it louded and clearest

Yes my nairalander,

i wasn't tolded you. was i tell u?

Obvioustically nope

Brilliant, simply brilliant!

Is this really a true tori?? Did she ashually said all those statement??

My bestest ones:

6) When the Spanish ambassador paid her a courtesy visit

with a fairly large delegation, an impressed Etteh spared

no effort to "welcome the strangers".

7) When officials of FERMA visited the House, speaker Etteh

urged them to urgently "make our roads habitable".

Great collection, @Aussie

i don't believe she can't speak but u know she always have criminal activities to think about.
my fears are not with her english but if she could do such a wonderful crime with pen within such a short time frame, hmmm am afraid she will be a danger woman if she has access to lagos-benin expressway with gun.

madam wey no sabi english dey steal like this, imagine if she be okonjo iweala, wow she will steal aso rock

Well lets assume she made all this statements, it would have been nice if the poster provided the source.

What did we expect from someone like that, when other countries are busy ensuring their best brains are in politics and law makers we come up with arguementations oh sorry was that supposed to be argumentative, lol, that it doesnt matter your education.

I dey look the other day the third party in UK, the 2 guys seeking to be Oga (chairman), one had a degree from Cambridge, the other from OXford, then when u look at the composition of the house, the caliber of the education of the folks, u go just dey wonder, Cambridge, Oxford, Imperial, LSE, 1st class this, degree with dat, how d country no go beta,

Abeg 4get tory, if hairdresser fit be speaker, trouble dey oh.

Wot else do you expect from the chairllady of ikeja under bridge hairdressers association who has a diploma in law?

Madam Hair dresser, oh sorry I mean, I meant,
Madam Speaker

It is at once baffling and supremely ironic that a woman who demonstrates her utter lack of a formal education with every utterance could be elected to the position of "Speaker" in any government that expects to be taken seriously by the international community.

Even more bizarre than the selection of a stark illiterate hair-dresser to house speaker is the fact that baying hordes of "elected officials" rose to engage in fist-fights over whether or not to remove the joke of a speaker, to the amazement of a transfixed Nigerian television audience, with one out-of-shape buffoon actually having a cardiac and dropping dead during the melee.

Now what was that DNA scientist saying about black people again ?

Jakumo:

It is at once baffling and supremely ironic that a woman who demonstrates her utter lack of a formal education with every utterance could be elected to the position of "Speaker" in any government that expects to be taken seriously by the international community.

Even more bizarre than the selection of a stark illiterate hair-dresser to house speaker is the fact that baying hordes of "elected officials" rose to engage in fist-fights over whether or not to remove the joke of a speaker, to the amazement of a transfixed Nigerian television audience, with one out-of-shape buffoon actually having a cardiac and dropping dead during the melee.



Now what was that DNA scientist saying about black people again ?

Heh! ----------------

Never fails as usual! Laffing and cryng at the same time!

I rest my case!

Jakumo:

It is at once baffling and supremely ironic that a woman who demonstrates her utter lack of a formal education with every utterance could be elected to the position of "Speaker" in any government that expects to be taken seriously by the international community.

Even more bizarre than the selection of a stark illiterate hair-dresser to house speaker is the fact that baying hordes of "elected officials" rose to engage in fist-fights over whether or not to remove the joke of a speaker, to the amazement of a transfixed Nigerian television audience, with one out-of-shape buffoon actually having a cardiac and dropping dead during the melee.

Now what was that DNA scientist saying about black people again ?

. It has been said!

Jakumo:

Now what was that DNA scientist saying about black people again ?

From what i gather, he was trying to describe the type of people in leadership positions in Africa.

Well Dave, If the scientist's derogatory comments were aimed specifically at blacks in leadership positions, then whatever he had to say must surely amount to an understatement with respect to the illiterate kleptomaniac Nigerian "speaker", as well as those willing to die in fist fights to prevent her being removed as speaker and shunted of to jail or kindergarten where she belongs.

Jakumo, i think Watson was only trying to be diplomatic in describing our "leaders" as unintelligent. In essence he was trying to convey the fact that most of them have no functional thinking faculties at all.

Is Madam Etteh not one of "our" leaders?   Watson was right then!

Jakumo:

Well Dave, If the scientist's derogatory comments were aimed specifically at blacks in leadership positions, then whatever he had to say must surely amount to an understatement with respect to the illiterate kleptomaniac Nigerian "speaker", as well as those willing to die in fist fights to prevent her being removed as speaker and shunted of to jail or kindergarten where she belongs.

More please!

Gosh!

xanadu:

Did she ashually said all those statement??

Ashually?? Oh my GOD!!!! LOL

Just got this in my mail box:


VACANCY!      VACANCY!!    VACANCY!!!


A foremost Political Party in Nigeria, popularly referred to as “The Ruling Party”, requires for immediate appointment into the House of Representatives, a qualified Hooligan with the following professional qualifications:

·        First degree in Boxing or Kick boxing.
·        A Professional diploma in aggressive cover-up techniques.
·        MUST be a duly certified LIAR with vast experience in corrupt practices.
·        Must be ready to shun the voices of the People in allegiance to the Party’s wishes and Baba's wishes.
·        Possession of a falsified educational degree will be an added advantage.

Duly qualified candidates should please forward their detailed CV’s to the Party Secretariat.

NB:
Please note that candidates with deadly upper-cuts will be given preference.

The selection process will definitely be biased and open to changes without notice, as this is part of the party policy.

Short listed candidates will be given a course in ‘Political Jargons’ to familiarize them with the language of the tournament


Please note that in this "legislathief" rat-race, you must be a graduate of Advanced Baba-antics Studies from the School of Babaism, a Black Belt holder in kick back, sorry in kick boxing, Black Belts obtained while hawking Dodo-Ikire along Ife-Ibadan Express way is given preference over other Black Belts.

Candidates susceptible to Cardiac Arrest need not apply.

I bet Madam Hairdresser is armed with enough Shampoo to Launder her Image. Talk about Sham and Poo Poo together, Huh?


In Nigeria Anything is Possible. With Guts All Things Are Possible. Etteh Sure Got Guts in her hair. God "Shave" her.!

Pain:

I bet Madam Hairdresser is armed with enough Shampoo to Launder her Image. Talk about Sham and Poo Poo together, Huh?


In Nigeria Anything is Possible. With Guts All Things Are Possible. Etteh Sure Got Guts in her hair. God "Shave" her.!

desgiezd:

Just got this in my mail box:


VACANCY! VACANCY!! VACANCY!!!


A foremost Political Party in Nigeria, popularly referred to as “The Ruling Party”, requires for immediate appointment into the House of Representatives, a qualified Hooligan with the following professional qualifications:

· First degree in Boxing or Kick boxing.
· A Professional diploma in aggressive cover-up techniques.
· MUST be a duly certified LIAR with vast experience in corrupt practices.
· Must be ready to shun the voices of the People in allegiance to the Party’s wishes and Baba's wishes.
· Possession of a falsified educational degree will be an added advantage.

Duly qualified candidates should please forward their detailed CV’s to the Party Secretariat.

NB:
Please note that candidates with deadly upper-cuts will be given preference.

The selection process will definitely be biased and open to changes without notice, as this is part of the party policy.

Short listed candidates will be given a course in ‘Political Jargons’ to familiarize them with the language of the tournament


Please note that in this "legislathief" rat-race, you must be a graduate of Advanced Baba-antics Studies from the School of Babaism, a Black Belt holder in kick back, sorry in kick boxing, Black Belts obtained while hawking Dodo-Ikire along Ife-Ibadan Express way is given preference over other Black Belts.

Candidates susceptible to Cardiac Arrest need not apply.

Nairaland never fails to amuse me!

Heh!!!! More please!

You wantinged more engalissh?

Ok, wait you would have to went to aso roki and met hous rep speakership Etteh-Gate(gate-woman)

She wil given you more and bokulous englishh.

I will saw u when u reach am tghere

Jakumo:

It is at once baffling and supremely ironic that a woman who demonstrates her utter lack of a formal education with every utterance could be elected to the position of "Speaker" in any government that expects to be taken seriously by the international community.

Even more bizarre than the selection of a stark illiterate hair-dresser to house speaker is the fact that baying hordes of "elected officials" rose to engage in fist-fights over whether or not to remove the joke of a speaker, to the amazement of a transfixed Nigerian television audience, with one out-of-shape buffoon actually having a cardiac and dropping dead during the melee.

Now what was that DNA scientist saying about black people again ?

Two thumbs up for Jakumo! You never fail to bring out the crux of the matter. Hmn, I'm just wondering if there's any difference between the stark illiterate hairdresser and the ''stark'' literate boxers, who wasted no time at painting the gory picture of desperate and selfish ''legislathieves'' at the lower house .