Here's to the comic side of football; grinches, please keep off...

'We lost because we didn't win' - Ronaldo.

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable' - Paul Gasoigne (8+7 = 15 )

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday wen it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing' - Ade Akinbiyi roflma.

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked' - Richard Rufus

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd' - Johnny Giles (memories of the 'rather kill myself than commit suicide' spewage )

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country' - Ian Rush

I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado- Gordon Strachan. Nobody in football does funny quotes like Strachan,not even Mourinho. Google and see