Questions About Love - Family - Nairaland
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| Questions About Love by maclatunji: 9:37pm On Apr 06, 2012 |
I think it is largely safe to say that for married folks, there is some degree of love involved when it comes to their relationship with their spouse. I have a few questions based on this premise and one that isn't necessarily so, they are: 1. Who loves the more between you and your spouse? 2. Do you think the person that loves more is at a disadvantage because they are likely to give more than they will receive? 3. How can the imbalance in this love equation be mitigated? 4. If you are of the opinion that this 'talk of love' is a waste of time, what do you think should be the foundation of marriage? In other words, if you think love isn't important, what is? I would love to read your responses to these questions. |
| Re: Questions About Love by Tgirl4real(f): 1:18am On Apr 07, 2012 |
1. Who loves the more between you and your spouse? Ans: based on my defination of love, which is 'commitment', each party should love equally. 2. Do you think the person that loves more is at a disadvantage because they are likely to give more than they will receive? Ans: if the love isn't equall, then the ans is yes. 3. How can the imbalance in this love equation be mitigated? Ans: each party should renew their mind on what love truly is and reaffirm thier love for eachother constantly. 4. If you are of the opinion that this 'talk of love' is a waste of time, what do you think should be the foundation of marriage? In other words, if you think love isn't important, what is? Ans: I believe love is important. Out of love, all other attribute will surface. Communication, trust are also very vital aspect of marriage. Thank you |
| Re: Questions About Love by Nobody: 2:21am On Apr 07, 2012 |
. Who loves the more between you and your spouse? I believe we both love each othe equally. But he swear says he love me more, which is what I want anyway. LOL. Honestly though he love me more. I try to win but I can't. He beat me to it. 2. Do you think the person that loves more is at a disadvantage because they are likely to give more than they will receive? No one is at advantage or disadvantage here, I don't take his love for granted. 3. How can the imbalance in this love equation be mitigated? Is not a problem to me, cuz no matter how much a couple love each other, no matter how great the love is, someone one may be just a tag bit than the other. 4. If you are of the opinion that this 'talk of love' is a waste of time, what do you think should be the foundation of marriage? In other words, if you think love isn't important, what is? I am the kind that believe in love. But than again love is not the only thing needed to make a relationship work. I would love to read your responses to these questions |
| Re: Questions About Love by knowledge4(m): 5:10pm On Apr 11, 2012 |
Love is important,very important in marriage. Love based on emotions or feelings can rupture or fade over time. When it happens,many marriages usually become strained and may be heading towards a collapse. To sustain the marriage,let love be based on a decision to love the other,come what may,feelings or no feelings, and be committed to it.The Bible says to husbands 'Love your wives'(Ephesians 5:22-25) Love her even when she is unlovable.Love her unconditionally.Love her when you know that she does not love you. Thats the way i see the issue of love in marriage. |
| Re: Questions About Love by knowledge4(m): 5:10pm On Apr 11, 2012 |
Love is important,very important in marriage. Love based on emotions or feelings can rupture or fade over time. When it happens,many marriages usually become strained and may be heading towards a collapse. To sustain the marriage,let love be based on a decision to love the other,come what may,feelings or no feelings, and be committed to it.The Bible says to husbands 'Love your wives'(Ephesians 5:22-25) Love her even when she is unlovable.Love her unconditionally.Love her when you think that she does not love you. Thats the way i see the issue of love in marriage. |
| Re: Questions About Love by Tgirl4real(f): 7:33am On Apr 12, 2012 |
@ Knowledge, d summation is commitment. Love is commitment. If u are committed to sum'n, you will give a lot to make it work. |
| Re: Questions About Love by blank(f): 8:56am On Apr 12, 2012 |
First thing is, wht is your definition of love? |
| Re: Questions About Love by maclatunji: 9:20am On Apr 12, 2012 |
blank: First thing is, wht is your definition of love? Blank no make me vex O. I am the one asking the questions here now.   Anyway, Love(for(me)the purpose of this thread)is the ultimate feeling of affection that a person can feel for another. It implies wanting to be with, caring about and being protective of the person as well as wanting them to excel in all their endeavours and seeing them happy always. |
| Re: Questions About Love by knowledge4(m): 1:45pm On Apr 12, 2012 |
Love for me is a sacrificial loyal concern for the well being of another person. The focus of love is on the beloved(the other person),not the lover. Love is giving yourself to your partner i.e. a kind word,your time,attending to him/her,a listening ear. Love is supporting your spouse eg in household chores Love is to provide for your spouse's needs eg financial and s3x needs Love is protecting your spouse from aggression from maybe abusive in-laws and from emotional aggression. Love is seeking peace,making peace,reconciling and conflict resolution Love is caring ie do things to make her know that she matters to you, relieve her of her burdens,locate her needs and meet them, locate her problems and solving them,locate her weaknesses and strenghten her Love is connecting ie Bonding & Intimacy, a connection of minds not just bodies in sexual contact. Love is not sex solely.Love is completely different from sex.You can s3x someone you do not love. Love is communication spending time together,sharing thoughts and opinions, transparency,hiding nothing, Love is befriending,building the friendship element. Love is talking intimately,heart-to-heart with love and understanding about each other,plans,fears,dissappointments,failures etc Love is forgiving each other unconditionally,keeping no records or dates of wrongs done. Love is appreciation,appreciating your spouse for whatever he does for you eg meals,sex,provision,protection etc Love is acceptance.Accept him/her for what he/she is.Accept her imperfections Love is sacrifice. Going the extra mile,giving what cannot be paid back,serving someone who may not be able to reciprocate. Love is touching but in a non sexual manner,eg hugs,kisses. Love is commitment.To stand by him/her in all situations of life whether positive or negative. |
| Re: Questions About Love by maclatunji: 2:39pm On Apr 12, 2012 |
Hello people, so far only Rokiatu has attempted to answer my questions the way I asked them. Everybody else seems to be avoiding them by answering selectively or asking their own questions. I would appreciate it if you guys can answer those questions or are they difficult to answer? |
| Re: Questions About Love by knowledge4(m): 5:52pm On Apr 12, 2012 |
The questions are tough somehow to answer. 1)Who loves the more between me and my spouse? Love can not be quantified,not measurable.Its either you love a person or do not love at all. 2)Do you think the person that loves more is at a disadvantage because he is likely to give more than he can receive? Yes.The one who loves more will always be at the giving end while the other who does not love at all will be at the receiving end.However,because love is a sacrificial loyal self concern for the welfare of the other party,the disadvantage naturally arises. 3)Can the imbalance be mitigated? Yes,if the partner at the receiving end makes a decision to love the other spouse.The partner who loves more cannot reduce his affection anyway but the partner who does not love may improve.It takes a decision to love someone.Love cannot be equal. 4)What should be the foundation of marriage? Love should be the foundation but in reality,many couples enter into it for a host of other reasons other than love. Love goes a long way,where there is true love.True love will not fail. Love based on feelings and emotions can easily rupture.Love based on decision cannot rupture. |
| Re: Questions About Love by Tgirl4real(f): 7:14pm On Apr 12, 2012 |
maclatunji: Hello people, so far only Rokiatu has attempted to answer my questions the way I asked them. Everybody else seems to be avoiding them by answering selectively or asking their own questions. I would appreciate it if you guys can answer those questions or are they difficult to answer? Oga Mac, u wan use us as case study for your project?  |
| Re: Questions About Love by N101: 7:45pm On Apr 12, 2012 |
1. Who loves the more between you and your spouse? Neither - it's a mutual thing. 2. Do you think the person that loves more is at a disadvantage because they are likely to give more than they will receive? Whether you're married or not, the person who loves most will always be the vulnerable one. In a marriage it's almost destructive. The one who loves the more will be "suffering and smiling" while the person who loves less can easily run rough shod over them. Not a nice thing. 3. How can the imbalance in this love equation be mitigated? If you're saying people love in different ways, then it's really about understanding the person you married and working with that. If there's an imbalance of love from the start, I can't imagine how that can be mitigated. 4. If you are of the opinion that this 'talk of love' is a waste of time, what do you think should be the foundation of marriage? In other words, if you think love isn't important, what is? "Love" as many of us grew up to believing is a myth. Real love is based on more than feelings. Commitment and respect should be the foundation of any marriage not "I must marry" or the warm fuzzy feelings. Marriage is not compulsory and if you do go there, shine your eye well: any red flags and/or any doubts, that person isn't for you. If you persist don't complain afterwards - you made your bed. . . |
| Re: Questions About Love by aniffy4eva(m): 7:47pm On Apr 12, 2012 |
maclatunji: I think it is largely safe to say that for married folks, there is some degree of love involved when it comes to their relationship with their spouse. I have a few questions based on this premise and one that isn't necessarily so, they are: |
| Re: Questions About Love by maclatunji: 7:25am On Apr 13, 2012 |
Tgirl4real: I research almost all the time. However, the overwhelming majority of my researches are not academic- this one inclusive. I am having some trouble handling this concept of 'Love'. So, I seek to study it more and learn how to handle it better. |
| Re: Questions About Love by freecocoa(f): 7:29am On Apr 13, 2012 |
Hmm is a "spouse" not supposed to be someone you are married to? Only asking cos some people are here talking about boyfriend,or can we also answer based on boyfriend\girlfriend relationships? |
| Re: Questions About Love by maclatunji: 7:41am On Apr 13, 2012 |
freecocoa: Hmm is a "spouse" not supposed to be someone you are married to? Only asking cos some people are here talking about boyfriend,or can we also answer based on boyfriend\girlfriend relationships? I haven't seen the person you are talking about. However, if you want to answer the questions feel free to do so. You know I wouldn't throw away your comments just because you are not married- yet. |
| Re: Questions About Love by Tgirl4real(f): 7:42am On Apr 13, 2012 |
maclatunji: ok. I hope u will share ur findings with us when u are done. |
| Re: Questions About Love by freecocoa(f): 7:46am On Apr 13, 2012 |
maclatunji:You want to hear that sugar is sweet from my mouth abi?anyways I'll be back to answer the questions,let me have breakfast first.  |
| Re: Questions About Love by blank(f): 11:41am On Apr 13, 2012 |
maclatunji: Thank you. With your definition of love, i think it is important but not the bedrock. I think mutual respect and ccompatibility is way more important. As for your other questions, i do not have an answer cos i don't know. |
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