A man decides to ve a face - lift for his birthday. He spends $5000 and feels gud about d results. On his way home, he stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. B4 leavn, he says 2 d sales clerk, "i hope u don't mind me asking, but how old do u think i'm?" "about 35", was the reply. "i' m actually 47," the man says, feeling really hppy. After dat, he goes in2 McDonalds 4 lunch & asks d same question. D reply is, "oh u look 29". "i'm actually 47".
Later while standn at a bus stop, he asks an old woman d same question. She replies, "i'm 85 yrs old, and my eyesight is going. But wen i was young, dere was a sure way of telln a man's age. If i put my hand down ur pants nd play with ur balls 4 10 minutes i'll be able to tell u ur exact age". As dere was no one around, d man thinks, what d hell nd lets her slip her hand down his pants. 10 minutes later, d old lady says, "ok,it's done. U're 47". Stunned, d man says, "that was brilliant. Hw did u do dat?"
D old lady replies, "i was behind u at McDonalds."