Today's pop culture has relegated the role of the father as a sideline figure. He has become a man who merely observes the family matters and hardly ever makes a semi-inspirational conversation. This is a disservice to fathers and a bad example for any new father to follow. A father's presence is paramount in any family and his presence, both emotional and physical, has a significant impact on the children.

Take a conscious interest in your child's life. Ask them about their day, talk to them about their hobbies. Don't be over bearing but help your child understand that you genuinely want to have conversation flowing with them. It's not that you become a friend, remain in your parental authority, reprimand when you should but always keep the avenue for discussion open. Your children will not only respect you due to the rapport you have established, but will also have a keener understanding of your expectations of them which they will be more excepting of as they are not being thrown in their faces in the form of anger or disappointment.

Similarly involve your children in your life. You don't need to tell them everything but actions that will in some way or the other impact the family unit should be related to them and their opinion listened to and respected. This will not only increase the bond that you have but create an understanding that as a family you have shared responsibilities and every one counts equally.

Play catch with your daughter; take your son to cooking classes. Fathers can play a major role in breaking gender roles and how their children conceive of themselves. Such acts will show your children that there are no societal boundaries on what they can do and aspire for.

Respect their mother. You cannot expect your children to show respect for you if you are rude towards one of the most important figures in their life, especially in their formative stages. Do not insult or shout at each other in front of the children, arguments are inevitable but remember to conduct your self as the adults you are.

Your children will love you no matter what. You are their father and you matter but how much they respect you goes hand in hand with how much effort you put into building up a solid and a two-way relationship. If you're able to do this, you'll realise that your ability to stay in charge will also increase.

Wilfred is the first online Student Consultant in Nigeria.

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