I finished service in february, but up till now I am still jobless. I am always at home with my dad who is a retired banker. Being at home with him makes me feel like a baby sitter because, he is always seeking my help for virtually everything he wants to do. He is just 56 and I am wondering if there is anyone here in my shoes. If there is, what have you been doing to get through the situation?

Get a job or make your presence scarce at home, and watch your problem disappear.

Tnx missy. I have been searching. I guess I will have to intensify my efforts

kollistic: Tnx missy. I have been searching. I guess I will have to intensify my efforts

That's the spirit! In the meantime, take it easy on yourself; it's only a phase that sure will pass.

Only someone who has never being a father will say something like this about his own father!

Well, there is no free lunch. You're a full grown man still living at home, spending your father's retirement money! You had better make yourself useful while you're still searching for a job!

Ujujoan: Only someone who has never being a father will say something like this about his own father!

She is back

How little uju

I wish i ran more errands for my dad before he passed on. . And he was 57. . My friend, Better appreciate ur father while you still have him.

kollistic: I finished service in february, but up till now I am still jobless. I am always at home with my dad who is a retired banker. Being at home with him makes me feel like a baby sitter because, he is always seeking my help for virtually everything he wants to do. He is just 56 and I am wondering if there is anyone here in my shoes. If there is, what have you been doing to get through the situation?

Stop whining. Learn all u can from ur father, u'll miss him when he's gone.

r231:

She is back

How little uju

She's getting heavier everyday. Lol!

Juuuuuuuuuuu!!!
*gives her a hug*
kedu?

This is a phase OP. It will surely be over soon. In the meamwhile, bond with him. This could be the only opportunity you'l ever have at bonding with him. Try and enjoy it.

Odunnu I really appreciate your advice. You are such a real person, I am so sure you understand my plight 100percent

Thank you. Just enjoy this phase. A time it will be when you cant have a discussion without including 'my daddy used to say . . .' its fun really

fluid26:

Stop whining. Learn all u can from ur father, u'll miss him when he's gone.

Help me tell the OP (off point) lady. They say that you don't know the value of something till it's gone. Trust me, if her father dies she will be th first to cry and wish for the messages she's complaining about.

Could y'all cut Kollistic some slack! If a situation makes you uncomfortable, it's only right to speak out about it.
No one should be misused simply because they are jobless or you're their benefactor.
Plus, at 56, you should move as frequently as possible . . . It is good for your health.
Do all the things you can do yourself. . . .It's called independence, and it's a beautiful virtue.

MamaputB. How market? This your siggy make sense. I like am.

Missyb, I wonder ooo, see me c wahala o

Odunnu: MamaputB. How market? This your siggy make sense. I like am.

Na God we deh look unto oh; as y'all don abandon my kitchen, business nor deh move wella again.
How are you doing? Your students nor deh stress you too much abi?

kollistic: Missyb, I wonder ooo, see me c wahala o

No qualms . . .
For every 10 people that do not or pretend not to understand, there should be, at least, 1 that does.

Eyah. No worry, firearm will be released soon.
Those students no fit kill me, I pass them

Odunnu: Eyah. No worry, firearm will be released soon.
Those students no fit kill me, I pass them

Make whoever tie am release am kia kia . . .I need money to feed my pikins, as husband don forget us because of politics

Me sef phor crase, if I had to deal with those students, walahi . . .You're strong, I trust you can handle 'em all.

Just persevere, lol. Try to make yourself scarce too but just make sure everything he needs is in the house and easily accessible, food, water, phones etc. Parents can send you on marathon errands, and they wouldn't even care. Just make yourself scarce.

@fluid26.

It takes a very mature mind to comprehend your words *Stop whining. Learn all u can from ur father, u'll miss him when he's gone*

Usually not one to comment on NL,considering the fact that most commentaries here are either childish or insultive. But this struck a nerve deep down and i want to say thank you.

I finished my NYSC when ALAWII was a Thousand Three or Five Hundred Naira(can't remember),which makes it a long time ago.

Coming back home to my folks(a tiny face-me-i-face-you-room setting with eleven of us)my space for sleeping had been taken after i left for the UNI,and i came back a grown man.

Dad was always on my case after a month i finished service,in our little ghetto in lagos,shouting in front of all the neighbours that i should go get a job.

Tried explaining to him that it was not in my hands even though i had been dropping my C.V in the Islands and buying,reading and applying from the Tuesday or Wednesday(can't remember)Guardian obediantly.

I hated my father then.

Eventually things went well,got a good job and eventually moved to the UK.

I remember the last day i saw my father alive.

And as i write this,it brings tears.

I had moved them into a posh part of Lagos and life was sweet,so i came home from the UK amd told him i was relocating to the United States.

He prayed with me and we ate.

As i was leaving for that Airport that evening(a friend came to pick me)for some strange reasons i felt there was a eye on me so i looked back and there was my father upstairs at the balcony staring at me,i waved and he waved back.

That was the last time i saw him.

Left for the United States a week after i got back to the UK.

Some weeks later i got a call from an uncle of mine that my dad had slumped and died.

It was strange because i had sopken to him and my mom like two days earlier.

He was 58.

Its been years now and it still hurts.

Hurts because i never told him what he meant to me,never told him thank you and never told him i loved him for all the sacrifices he made for me while growing up in poverty,up to the university level.

Never told my dad anything and it still hurts me after all this years.

@op,i only have my mom so i call her everyday appreciating her. My dad died for me to clean my eyes and hold on to what i have.

I am married with kids now but mom is someone i hold dear and if she is not in my house in the US or me visiting Nigeria and seeing her in person,i call.

Please appreciate your folks.

Don't know your age but take it from somebody you can consider to be an elder brother,your dad is guiding you on the right path but the young brains usually rebel against the right choices.

Appreciate your dad and mom. Never ever give up on any opportunity to tell them how much you appreciate and love them.

But most importantly,never ever talk about your dad or mom in a public fora.

Thx Sapele_Don. U've also spoken very well. Congrats on ur achievements.

Sapele's words are so inspiring.op he has said it all.
There are times I'm tempted to complain when (in this case),my mum send me on errands,they sometimes seem unending but when I reflect on how much she's invested and still investing on me..I'm always more than willing to run them.

I'm not disputing the fact that we are human and complaints seem inevitable sometimes,but like someone said think of the time you would yearn for his presence but he would not be there to answer your call.Cherish every moment you have with him now and also remain steadfast in your job hunt. I wish you all the best.

op. think I understand your situation a bit. it's a phase as someone said. truth is African men of their generation hardly do things for themselves; they prefer to send ppl, not cos they are lazy, but it's the way of life they were born into. he has always sent u on errands, flimsy ones at that but you are just noticing cos u are becoming an adult.
used to.struggle with that too, but I read a story which I seem to be having a hard time retrieving online so I'll summarise.

a man went out to a field with his dad once, and his dad saw something and asked, what is dat? , a crowbar he replied. some minutes later, the father asked same question again...and the man answered. this continued intermittently over some minutes until the man flared up...it's a crowbar okay...I've answered you four times already,!!!! is something wrong with you or something! then the father said...when u were a boy, we came out to this field one evening and asked me 18 times wat dat was, and each time I lovingly told you it was a crowbar!

my point is life is a cycle, he once took ALL your excesses, now you must return the favor. God help you

@ op i'm in ur shoes ryt now but dis tym,its d opposite.my mom can send me errands 100 tyms in a day.she ill call me from upstairs to pass d remote beside her,as am climbing d stairs again to go n do wot am doing,she will cal me again to go and look 4 her cell phone,d next ten minutes she wil call me to cook for her,anoda tym again daddy wil come and he will say d food i cooked is not what he wants to eat,i should make amala and ewedu for him,he too will send me on various annoying errands.infact i can be eating and he will tell me to leave my food and go and iron his clothes and i dare not complaining about my parents sendin me on errands because dey will start a sermon of how they paid my pocket money all through my years in d university,how i am an ungrateful child bla bla bla,so to kip away from such stories i just do it in peace with d encouragement dat i wont stay in d house forever,so learn what u can learn now before u leave d house cos u myt nt av d opportunity to learn it again

[quote author=Sapele_Don

But most importantly,never ever talk about your dad or mom in a public fora.





[/quote] when i see posts like this it makes me so sad. . Talking about ur parents in a public forum shows the kind of regard or respect you have for them. IMHO.

Look for something worthy to do with your time

whose house do you live in?
who feeds you
and the small change u use for transportation and other personal things(who gave you)
Is it not your father/mother? the least you can do is help out the man and quit complaining(ungrateful child)

OP,

You sef suppose dey form activity, No just dey siddon for house.

Dey use scope comot for house like say you dey go find job

If there is any Ashi joint around you, Go there and sit down and look at those girls dancing while you are smoking your white london

One day one day, Someone go call your phone and give you a job

Or dem fit make you onile for the snooker table wey dey the ashi joint, Dem fit make you the DJ or make you the manager of the Hotel

:8

Warfibabe:
I wish i ran more errands for my dad before he passed on. . And he was 57. . My friend, Better appreciate ur father while you still have him.

Rubbish!!

mcdazzling:

Rubbish!!

Something someone wrote seven years ago is what you're responding to