I kinda like enigmatic people cos i get bored easily. So, I see it as something to unravel.

However, I doubt if I can date such a person. I prefer when someone is straight forward and easy to study. I prefer someone I can easily understand. But we see many go into relationships, eventually marriage without understanding their spouses. Some men find it difficult to open up. They would rather keep things to themselves leaving their wives confused.

So, which would you prefer?

I prefer a 'straight forward' guy and someone i can easily understand, i don't have time trying to understand anybody....especially in a relationship...biko!!!

All bloody lies! Women don't know what they want and even if they do, they'll lie about it and claim the opposite.

Women claim they like straight-forward, honest guys but once the guy starts telling them the truth or starts being honest, they start complaining and accusing the man of being too emotional or too harsh or too insensitive. The truth is, ladies love to be lied to. They keep fantasies in their heads and minds and they usually seek men who will fulfill those fantasies even though those men are liars and posers. I stopped being completely honest with ladies many years ago. These days, I just tell them whatever it is they want to hear. Makes everybody happy.

My typical convos with a girl I just met a few weeks ago:

Girl : "Where are you?"
Me: "At home, thinking about you" (what I am actually thinking: "Eating dinner at another girl's place" )
Girl : "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes dear" (what I am actually thinking: "Are you crazy? We just met" )
Girl: "I want to have your babies"
Me: "Sure" (what I am actually thinking: "God forbid bad thing" )
Girl: "I want a princess wedding in Paris and a blue box from Tiffany's (2 carats VVS minimum)."
Me: "Baby, we can make that happen if you like, no problem" (what I am actually thinking: "Oloriburuku onigbese! You and your family barely have a pot to piss in and you're dreaming of Paris wedding!" )

^^^^^yeah only because you meet loosers and not real women... , why would i ask a guy if he loves me after 1 year of dating? talk more of just meeting him after few weeks...Really who does that?? you must have been seeing all this secondary school girls....REAL/MATURED WOMEN DO NOT THINK LIKE THAT.

I do not have time for long thing.....if i am feeling you at the moment you will know...if i am not...you will also know...i do not have time for pretence....

ronkebp: ^^^^^yeah only because you meet loosers and not real women... , why would i ask a guy if he loves me after 1 year of dating? talk more of just meeting him after few weeks...Really who does that?? you must have been seeing all this secondary school girls....REAL/MATURED WOMEN DO NOT THINK LIKE THAT.

I do not have time for long thing.....if i am feeling you at the moment you will know...if i am not...you will also know...i do not have time for pretence....

Ronke you are married! You are thinking like a married woman! You really need to meet more of these single Nigerian ladies in the diaspora! They form grown and matured in church and to other ladies but in private, they throw all caution to the wind when they meet correct bobo! Desperation and insecurity does horrible things to otherwise great ladies (they start seeking confirmations of love as soon as they decide the man is a keeper). Of course, the guys will say anything to gain access.

But I only gave a romance example because I have never being married (btw, it wasn't the same girl that said all those things. It was different girls). However, almost all my close friends are married and they lie to their wives all the time to keep peace (I am pretty sure the wives catch some of those lies, but they seem to accept and like things this way.) We go out for drinks after work and they tell their wives they are still are work. They grossly inflate their work titles and work responsibilities. They withhold material facts about their past (e.g. educational accomplishments) and never tell their wives they slept with half the ladies in church before marriage. I could go on and on. Their wives are not complaining; they mistake silence for enigma and fetishize a man with secrets. Works for both parties.

Sista Tgirl4real
would you really marry a man that you didnt fully know/understood? although there is nothing wrong with it, it is a dangerous stand......especially if what you discover is against your beliefs.

also, dont you think that there are issues where it is ok to be enigmatic (non important ones), and others where it is OUT OF THE QUESTION?!

Moremi dear, i was single here in the States before i got married, i met my hubby here, my marraige is not even up to 3 years yet...and i have mingled with ladies that know their worth and respect themselves. Maybe i do not attract nonsense people as friends that is why i find it hard to believe that some women are like that. We have gullible ones' and i have had very few friends that are just foolishly gullible and their arses had been dumped severally by the men in their lives...

What i can't stand is for one to be pretending, for who kwanu men!!!! all they need to build is their self-esteem...Any lady behaving the way you mentioned is just a looser!!! Sorry to say.

ronkebp: Moremi dear, i was single here in the States before i got married, i met my hubby here, my marraige is not even up to 3 years yet...and i have mingled with ladies that know their worth and respect themselves. Maybe i do not attract nonsense people as friends that is why i find it hard to believe that some women are like that. We have gullible ones' and i have had very few friends that are just foolishly gullible and their arses had been dumped severally by the men in their lives...

What i can't stand is for one to be pretending, for who kwanu men!!!! all they need to build is their self-esteem...Any lady behaving the way you mentioned is just a looser!!! Sorry to say.

Hahaha! Thank God not all ladies are like you. Otherwise, awon boys go suffer for town. Madam strict-strict! Sha take-am easy.

moremi2008:

Hahaha! Thank God not all ladies are like you. Otherwise, awon boys go suffer for town. Madam strict-strict! Sha take-am easy.

Naaaa!!! i am not strict, very emotional though, but i know what i want in a man...no time for dilly-dallying...i go for what i want... you don't have that, you are out! through the window and NOT the door, cos the real man might be knocking already....

moremi2008: All bloody lies! Women don't know what they want and even if they do, they'll lie about it and claim the opposite.

Women claim they like straight-forward, honest guys but once the guy starts telling them the truth or starts being honest, they start complaining and accusing the man of being too emotional or too harsh or too insensitive. The truth is, ladies love to be lied to. They keep fantasies in their heads and minds and they usually seek men who will fulfill those fantasies even though those men are liars and posers. I stopped being completely honest with ladies many years ago. These days, I just tell them whatever it is they want to hear. Makes everybody happy.

My typical convos with a girl I just met a few weeks ago:

Girl : "Where are you?"
Me: "At home, thinking about you" (what I am actually thinking: "Eating dinner at another girl's place" )
Girl : "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes dear" (what I am actually thinking: "Are you crazy? We just met" )
Girl: "I want to have your babies"
Me: "Sure" (what I am actually thinking: "God forbid bad thing" )
Girl: "I want a princess wedding in Paris and a blue box from Tiffany's (2 carats VVS minimum)."
Me: "Baby, we can make that happen if you like, no problem" (what I am actually thinking: "Oloriburuku onigbese! You and your family barely have a pot to piss in and you're dreaming of Paris wedding!" )

Small boy, small girl romance. Still playing games at what age, moremi? After you will come and write 'Is marriage worth it for guys'?

@topic
Don't care as far as he's not a noisemaker or one of those Nigerian men that razz up the whole place in a bid to be real.

moremi2008: All bloody lies! Women don't know what they want and even if they do, they'll lie about it and claim the opposite.

Women claim they like straight-forward, honest guys but once the guy starts telling them the truth or starts being honest, they start complaining and accusing the man of being too emotional or too harsh or too insensitive. The truth is, ladies love to be lied to. They keep fantasies in their heads and minds and they usually seek men who will fulfill those fantasies even though those men are liars and posers. I stopped being completely honest with ladies many years ago. These days, I just tell them whatever it is they want to hear. Makes everybody happy.

My typical convos with a girl I just met a few weeks ago:

Girl : "Where are you?"
Me: "At home, thinking about you" (what I am actually thinking: "Eating dinner at another girl's place" )
Girl : "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes dear" (what I am actually thinking: "Are you crazy? We just met" )
Girl: "I want to have your babies"
Me: "Sure" (what I am actually thinking: "God forbid bad thing" )
Girl: "I want a princess wedding in Paris and a blue box from Tiffany's (2 carats VVS minimum)."
Me: "Baby, we can make that happen if you like, no problem" (what I am actually thinking: "Oloriburuku onigbese! You and your family barely have a pot to piss in and you're dreaming of Paris wedding!" )

Sincerely Moremi, I feel like strangling u right now. I'm sure datz d second tym I will be saying that to u. Be careful not to cone near me o . . .

U got me ROFLOL. People around me are wondering was up. Hehehehe


Btw, Ronke, which wan be Ronke dear, Moremi darling

stillwater:

Small boy, small girl romance. Still playing games at what age, moremi? After you will come and write 'Is marriage worth it for guys'?

@topic
Don't care as far as he's not a noisemaker or one of those Nigerian men that razz up the whole place in a bid to be real.

Hahahaha! You can't have a serious big-boy relationship with every lady you mess around with. Some women are just not marriage-quality so you date them for a while and keep it moving. Still searching for the right one! When I find her, my player days will be over.

MRbrownJAY: Sista Tgirl4real
would you really marry a man that you didnt fully know/understood? although there is nothing wrong with it, it is a dangerous stand......especially if what you discover is against your beliefs.

Sir, read the post well. I prefer a straightforward and sincere person. I don't like going in circles trying to unravel the mystery around the guy when he can easily open up.

The post is not about me though.

MRbrownJAY: also, dont you think that there are issues where it is ok to be enigmatic (non important ones), and others where it is OUT OF THE QUESTION?!

Yea, I agree. But moi is a naturally inquisitive person. I like to know which sometimes land me into trouble.
With my hubby sha, I have learnt to allow some things fly, esp. things about his biz and money.

Thinking of things, I don't think I can stand an enigmatic guy. U berra be open n straight forward. I don't want no surprises.

Straight forward spouse...

^^^^ Hey you....where have you been.....?

Straight forward guy pls

i've seen enigmatic and i've seen straight forward.
Straight-forward is boring but easy..
Enigmatic is exicting but works hand in hand with head and heart aches!
....a little of both won't be a bad idea as long as it balances out..
....i hate boring and aches,i love exicting and easy.......my hands are up!

slimyem: i've seen enigmatic and i've seen straight forward.
Straight-forward is boring but easy..
Enigmatic is exicting but works hand in hand with head and heart aches!
....a little of both won't be a bad idea as long as it balances out..
....i hate boring and aches,i love exicting and easy.......my hands are up!

Indeed!

Ur hands are tied girl.

I don't want head n heart ache. Predictable is better.

moremi2008: All bloody lies! Women don't know what they want and even if they do, they'll lie about it and claim the opposite.

Women claim they like straight-forward, honest guys but once the guy starts telling them the truth or starts being honest, they start complaining and accusing the man of being too emotional or too harsh or too insensitive. The truth is, ladies love to be lied to. They keep fantasies in their heads and minds and they usually seek men who will fulfill those fantasies even though those men are liars and posers. I stopped being completely honest with ladies many years ago. These days, I just tell them whatever it is they want to hear. Makes everybody happy.

My typical convos with a girl I just met a few weeks ago:

Girl : "Where are you?"
Me: "At home, thinking about you" (what I am actually thinking: "Eating dinner at another girl's place" )
Girl : "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes dear" (what I am actually thinking: "Are you crazy? We just met" )
Girl: "I want to have your babies"
Me: "Sure" (what I am actually thinking: "God forbid bad thing" )
Girl: "I want a princess wedding in Paris and a blue box from Tiffany's (2 carats VVS minimum)."
Me: "Baby, we can make that happen if you like, no problem" (what I am actually thinking: "Oloriburuku onigbese! You and your family barely have a pot to piss in and you're dreaming of Paris wedding!" )

But come to think of it, this bros is actually right. See the thing is, girls/women like enigmatic men and also like straightforward men too but the thing is that u can't have it all. But they want to. The are so full of greed. Once u start openingup to them, they'l see you finish but when u r not open with them, they want to understand, at the begining its interesting to them, later when they find out that their fish brain cannot comprehend, they start becoming afraid and looking for exit strategies cos at that point you become a stranger to them and they don't know what you are capable of. Truly,really....they don't know what they want..

He'd berra be straightforward cuz I'm already enigmatic. Can't have two enigmas

ronkebp: Moremi dear, i was single here in the States before i got married, i met my hubby here, my marraige is not even up to 3 years yet...and i have mingled with ladies that know their worth and respect themselves. Maybe i do not attract nonsense people as friends that is why i find it hard to believe that some women are like that. We have gullible ones' and i have had very few friends that are just foolishly gullible and their arses had been dumped severally by the men in their lives...

What i can't stand is for one to be pretending, for who kwanu men!!!! all they need to build is their self-esteem...Any lady behaving the way you mentioned is just a looser!!! Sorry to say.

....Am sensing,arrogancy..Just my 1cent.

moremi2008: All bloody lies! Women don't know what they want and even if they do, they'll lie about it and claim the opposite.

Women claim they like straight-forward, honest guys but once the guy starts telling them the truth or starts being honest, they start complaining and accusing the man of being too emotional or too harsh or too insensitive. The truth is, ladies love to be lied to. They keep fantasies in their heads and minds and they usually seek men who will fulfill those fantasies even though those men are liars and posers. I stopped being completely honest with ladies many years ago. These days, I just tell them whatever it is they want to hear. Makes everybody happy.

My typical convos with a girl I just met a few weeks ago:

Girl : "Where are you?"
Me: "At home, thinking about you" (what I am actually thinking: "Eating dinner at another girl's place" )
Girl : "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes dear" (what I am actually thinking: "Are you crazy? We just met" )
Girl: "I want to have your babies"
Me: "Sure" (what I am actually thinking: "God forbid bad thing" )
Girl: "I want a princess wedding in Paris and a blue box from Tiffany's (2 carats VVS minimum)."
Me: "Baby, we can make that happen if you like, no problem" (what I am actually thinking: "Oloriburuku onigbese! You and your family barely have a pot to piss in and you're dreaming of Paris wedding!" )

my broda, u don knw dem finish. I cudnt have said it better. Though i have decided nt 2 make ladies change my person(straight foward), but guy u no go envy me at all, they jst avoid me like hell upon how hansome i am. God knws wen i go c who 2 marry evn at 29. Sha! I no send

y2kaustin: ....Am sensing,arrogancy..Just my 1cent.

How expantiate please!!!

straight foward spouse,iced wiv a little bit enigma... I think dat wil do d magic 4 me

moremi2008: All bloody lies! Women don't know what they want and even if they do, they'll lie about it and claim the opposite.

Women claim they like straight-forward, honest guys but once the guy starts telling them the truth or starts being honest, they start complaining and accusing the man of being too emotional or too harsh or too insensitive. The truth is, ladies love to be lied to. They keep fantasies in their heads and minds and they usually seek men who will fulfill those fantasies even though those men are liars and posers. I stopped being completely honest with ladies many years ago. These days, I just tell them whatever it is they want to hear. Makes everybody happy.

My typical convos with a girl I just met a few weeks ago:

Girl : "Where are you?"
Me: "At home, thinking about you" (what I am actually thinking: "Eating dinner at another girl's place" )
Girl : "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes dear" (what I am actually thinking: "Are you crazy? We just met" )
Girl: "I want to have your babies"
Me: "Sure" (what I am actually thinking: "God forbid bad thing" )
Girl: "I want a princess wedding in Paris and a blue box from Tiffany's (2 carats VVS minimum)."
Me: "Baby, we can make that happen if you like, no problem" (what I am actually thinking: "Oloriburuku onigbese! You and your family barely have a pot to piss in and you're dreaming of Paris wedding!" )

PMSL! Lawd!

Staight forward one but with a creative, adventurous spirit and open mind.

Everyone, both male and female would like a unique combination of a spouse who is both enigmatic and straight forward. Now, this combo is not so easy to find but there are exceptions...

Being straight forward wit a grl mkes everytin borin bt whn u re enigmatic it gets dem excited n wnt 2 knw wht u re up2....

moremi2008: All bloody lies! Women don't know what they want and even if they do, they'll lie about it and claim the opposite.

Women claim they like straight-forward, honest guys but once the guy starts telling them the truth or starts being honest, they start complaining and accusing the man of being too emotional or too harsh or too insensitive. The truth is, ladies love to be lied to. They keep fantasies in their heads and minds and they usually seek men who will fulfill those fantasies even though those men are liars and posers. I stopped being completely honest with ladies many years ago. These days, I just tell them whatever it is they want to hear. Makes everybody happy.

My typical convos with a girl I just met a few weeks ago:

Girl : "Where are you?"
Me: "At home, thinking about you" (what I am actually thinking: "Eating dinner at another girl's place" )
Girl : "Do you love me?"
Me: "Yes dear" (what I am actually thinking: "Are you crazy? We just met" )
Girl: "I want to have your babies"
Me: "Sure" (what I am actually thinking: "God forbid bad thing" )
Girl: "I want a princess wedding in Paris and a blue box from Tiffany's (2 carats VVS minimum)."
Me: "Baby, we can make that happen if you like, no problem" (what I am actually thinking: "Oloriburuku onigbese! You and your family barely have a pot to piss in and you're dreaming of Paris wedding!" )

extremely smart.