Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,156,214 members, 7,829,354 topics. Date: Thursday, 16 May 2024 at 04:19 AM

A leap into eternity - Poems For Review - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / A leap into eternity (667 Views)

(2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

A leap into eternity by hola2ng(m): 5:33am On Nov 30, 2007
.
Re: A leap into eternity by hola2ng(m): 11:46am On Dec 04, 2007
.
Re: A leap into eternity by beneli(m): 2:57pm On Dec 04, 2007
I have just checked out some of your poems.
You have a lot of depth and i have enjoyed the much that i have read; thank you for writing them.
Re: A leap into eternity by hola2ng(m): 6:13pm On Dec 04, 2007
Thank YOU beneli,for taking time to read my scribbles(that's what i call them). Appreciate that.
Cheers!
Re: A leap into eternity by biife: 5:53pm On Dec 17, 2007
good effort dear,

could your scribble be typed in more legible font?
Re: A leap into eternity by ADESUWA(f): 3:15pm On Jan 02, 2008
I wish i could write poems like you, they only get good whn i use verse perfect
Re: A leap into eternity by hola2ng(m): 4:24pm On Jan 04, 2008
.
Re: A leap into eternity by eldee(m): 3:27am On Jan 05, 2008
hola2ng:

I took just one step,i put my best foot forward
in my mind i thought i could make it,on my own
and on my own as i watched helplessly,i fell
the world that i held in my hands delicately,fell with me
it came crashing down heavily,rainfalls on rooftops

Looking into the distance to find the vague sunset
i saw the yellowish rays it cast upon the clouds
and the clouds in turn further drifted along
in my mind i wanted them to be closer and i thought
it would be nicer if you were here as well, just us
you and me against the weather,and the world too

I think that part got a little overly descriptive, it was almost turning into a novella

Leaning on the shoulder of time shortly after
it waited for me,although it waits for no one else
you got a potential blindfold there but u wasted it by revealing the suspense with weak layman's english
try- it waited for me, though from others it galloped away


i danced with the winds,just me in the cold breeze
just me against the sculptured world


I'm not really a good poet but know I really prefer when people critically breakdown my poems to make me better rather than just seeing the good parts. I've seen ur other poems and I feel ur really deep way of presenting simple things. that's a gift i'm tring to develop. Most of my poems are just what i write when i have that feelin and i'm neva able t stop myself from throwing them into the trashcan.
Re: A leap into eternity by hola2ng(m): 4:36pm On Jan 10, 2008
.

(1) (Reply)

Beat Her Not / P / Nosferatu

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 11
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.