please check if these are funny. - Jokes Etc - Nairaland
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| please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 7:13pm On Jul 09, 2012 |
SPLIFF [b] I was seated under the Okro tree in my Papa's house reminiscing how i stole church money from the offering bowl under the guise of giving my own offering.I felt ashamed of myself, so resolved to go to my pastor, (Father paul) to confess my sins. in 5 minutes, i was at the mission house.The mission house was very unusUally quiet and with an unusual repugnant odour on the compound.I smelled a dog, a rat, so i tip-toed to the main hall, which had the door ajar.I entered the hall, and unbelievably, saw Father Paul with a spliff(GANJA) smoking and listening to Peter Tosh's "legalise it".  The moment he saw me, he knelt down before me and begged me never to disclose it to any one Father Paul wept and wept and begged me.So , i took the Spliff from him, and smoked it! It was my first time  , so the moment i burnt the first roll, i left the mission house and got home.When i got home, I saw some unusual creatures in my Papa's house.Two midgets, a masquerade and a small rat.All os a fudden grin grin, One of the midgets started asking me unnecessary questions, so i gave it a sound beating, feeling soooo high! Then, the second midget came, then i slapped him left right and center, kicked him and beat him well well. I was feeling sooo irie until i saw that masquerade coming with some three black goats.The goats had no horns and did not bleat too.Before i realised, the three goat had locked me up, i wonder how they did it. . .i woke up next morning in Police custody.There i realised, those two midgets i was seeing were my mum and dad, the masquerade, my grandfaada and those black goats, police officers.Ever since, i dont smoke Egbo again!!![/b] 
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| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 8:31pm On Jul 09, 2012 |
FM [b]Baba Abdul would Always bleep Madam Grace , wife of Paukinus, in his absence. One day, Paulinus was in the office and heard there was a breaking news on radio and since his radio in the office was stolen, had to rush home to listen to the breaking news. Back in the house, Baba Abdul was sweating on Madam Grace once again when they heard a knock on the door, it was Paulinus.Baba Abdul was shaking, and went under the bed.Paulinus entered his room, and all he was looking for was his mainframe radio set;he remembered it was under the bed, so he bent and gradually pulled it out, it was heavy! grin He tuned in, and an unusual voice said, "this is Brilla FM, today no news", Paulinus tuned the nOb again, and the voice again said,, "this is BBC, today no news!''. Paulinus tuned and tuned and tuned and the same message came over and over again. . . Then Paulinus tuned one haaaaaaaaaaaaard one, and this time the voice crying."Oga paulinus, i don tell you since, say today no news, you still dey tune tune my ppenis, why?, eh oga why  na because of small toto i come chop, you want kill me?'' Paulinus tppk to his heels!!! Paulinus took to his heels!!!![/b] |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 8:34pm On Jul 09, 2012 |
ASK AM I entered the bar and requested for three bottles of beer, a plate of full chicken, a big bowl of eba and egusi soup, one plate of isi-ewu and a pack of cigarette . I sat next to this poor looking guy who had just a bottle of pepsi sipping.He was looking into my eye with envy!Obviously very hungry guy! grin I also ate my "downloads" well ,well to infuriate this poor guy.After some minutes, i realised i had to catch a flight at 6pm, poor i had no wrist watch! The pepsi guy had a wrist watch, so i ask am, " oga, what says your time?" He looked into my face closely for 3 minutes speechless, and finally said,. . . . . "ask your isi-ewu!" |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 8:41pm On Jul 09, 2012 |
OGA BISMARK. . . Oga Bismark was caught on top of his househelp by Mariam his wife. "Bismark you are a disgrace!, a big one, so na because of this dirty stinking househelp you no go work today?" Miriam screamed! Oga bismark replied " shut up dia , you witch!, abi you dont know say any dirty water fit quench fire??' miriam saw her period!! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 8:45pm On Jul 09, 2012 |
HAUSA NO DEY CARRY LAST An IBOman, a YORUBAman and a HAUZAman are all going to be executed by a firing squad. The IBOman is taken out and told to face the wall so he does but just as they're going to shoot him, he shouts "Earthquake!" and the firing squad runs away. Then they bring out the YORUBAMANman and he faces the wall but just as they are going to shoot he shouts "Tidal Wave!" and the firing squad again runs away. The HAUZAman is brought out and they tell him to face the wall and just as the firing squad is about to shoot, the HAUZAman shouts, "Fire!" ( just fun, no tribalism intended please!) 1 Like |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by ITbomb(m): 8:23am On Jul 10, 2012 |
[size=20pt]√[/size] Checked |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 8:33am On Jul 10, 2012 |
Mr. bin! your try shaaa... Nice one! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by dani1luv: 9:27am On Jul 10, 2012 |
MOGUL.O:Beht why? |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 10:42am On Jul 10, 2012 |
dani1luv: madman  |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 12:57pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
dani1luv: You too dey shout! Why  ? |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by slimchi2k2(m): 2:10pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
u are very funny president |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 2:19pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
slimchi2k2: u are very funny president thankx my king, together we govern the jokes section!!! and make this place a better place! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 4:11pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
The first joke made me lmao, d rest were just dere. But its obvious u formed it, so i'll say you try! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 4:35pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
booqee: The first joke made me lmao, d rest were just dere. But its obvious u formed it, so i'll say you try! and so what |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 4:38pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
bin gbagbo:and so its dry! Mumu! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 4:44pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
booqee: and so its dry! bush pig!, ashewo!!! https://www.nairaland.com/986153/50-teachers-sokoto-stark-illiterates |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 5:57pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
WAHALA DEY ben was a sane and respected man.he woke up one morning n started going mad.he quickly climbed the tree in front of his house.he stayed there for 5 days n was still not coming down.his family brought police, boxers chieves but all to no avail. they finally brought a pastor.the pastor just did a sign of cross n ben came down. shocked, everyone asked ben why he came down after the sign of cross? ben replied "that cross mean say he dey come cut down the tree" |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 6:01pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
ZEBRA The traffic is really bad in Lagos. After 10 minutes of a man trying to pass over the zebra crossing with his tokunbo a policeman comes up to him and says, "you do know there is a zebra crossing up there don't you , dont you see?" The man replies, "well, I am MR Isaac Zebra, can i go now?" policeman collapsed!! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by slimchi2k2(m): 6:05pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
this guy u always kill me with laugh u r D real joke president |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 6:06pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
JUNIOR [b] I love monkeys, and every close pal of mine knows that. so, five years ago, i bought myself one bouncing monkey from the zoo i called it junior, because it resembled the first son of my nextdoor neighbour junior. i never starved junior, as i provided it bananas allllll the time. i never chained junior so it was free to go anywhere. one observation i made was, anytime junior was alone, it would go close to the pen housing my beloved goats and ram(i love animals u know ) and be watching them.Now it happened that, one day i travelled to Lagos, and while in Lagos, i realised i did not leave any food for junior. i became sooo apprehensive and perplexed.two days later, i returned home and smelled a nice aroma on the compound. i went to the kitchen and saw goat pepper soup on the burner boiling with left over bones in a plate on the dining table. i ran to the pen and saw one goat missing. i cried out," na who come steal my goat ooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!?" then a voice from afar replied with soprano. . ." na me ooooooo, oga!" i went closer and closer to the voice, and behold i got there!!! it was junior. Junior confessed killing the goat for pepper soup! i fainted twice!! that was why i sold junior for 250 naira![/b] |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 6:08pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
slimchi2k2: this guy u always kill me with laugh i am humbled my king 
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| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 6:11pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
nicey |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 6:17pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
PASTOR CHRIS A couple were watching pastor chris preaching on TV. Along the preaching Pastor chris asked all sinners to repent. Now when he got to the sin of adultery, the wife raised her hands and said "amen". The husband boiled up and and questioned his wife why she had committed adultery but she denied. Pastor Chris still preaching on the TV said "now woman quit denying and confess to your dear husband" " you hear, you hear, shame on you!!!. . ." the husband yelled. pastor chris added " now shut up husband!!! , dont be a hypocrite. are you not responsible for ekaette the househelp's pregnancy?" The husband quickly turned off the tv. . . . .. . . fainted and died! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 8:05pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
bin gbagbo: PASTOR CHRIS nice 1 got me laffing  |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 8:52pm On Jul 10, 2012 |
~vicky~: THATS WHY I AM THE JOKES PRESIDENT!! |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 8:34pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
slimchi2k2: this guy u always kill me with laugh |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 8:49pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
rate dis pics 
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| Re: please check if these are funny. by Nobody: 9:03pm On Jul 17, 2012 |
Nice jokes..pastor chris own na dieeeeee |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bunmioguns(m): 9:56pm On Jul 18, 2012 |
JOKES GRADING: A+ . REMARK: You are simply d best . . REWARD: Just a Night Wit Mukina |
| Re: please check if these are funny. by bingbagbo(m): 10:09pm On Jul 18, 2012 |
bunmioguns: JOKES GRADING: A+ * erects already* |
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