₦airaland Forum

Many young people are very idealistic about marriage; at least, that is the impression I get when I interact with them. At a youth gathering sometime ago, a young man told me this story and asked for advice. His friend and the fiancée had agreed that there will be no premarital sex, mainly on the insistence of the lady.

lovers
The young man grudgingly agreed and looked forward to deflowering his wife after wedding, but alas he encountered no roadblock on their first outing. He was angry and disappointed. He then asked me, what should his friend do?
It was my turn to fire him questions. “Did the lady tell your friend during courtship that she was a virgin?” He answered no. So the friend only assumed. “What or who is your friend marrying, the virginity or the lady?”
“The lady,” he answered. “So what is the problem? This friend who is obsessed with virginity, is he a virgin?” The answer was “no.” A lot of the time we chase shadows instead of substance.
Then I remembered a story another friend told me some time ago and I started wondering, who is a virgin? My friend said in a particular country (name withheld because I could not independently verify his tale), it is a crime or taboo for a girl to lose her “virginity” before marriage.
So what the girls do is to engage in anal penetration (AKA anal sex) and the men also grope their breasts, bums and other parts of their bodies during pre-marriage relationships. But their hymen (the membrane partially or totally covering the opening of the vagina) is still there for their future husbands to “proudly” break after marriage. My question is: are these girls still virgins? Na who be fool? Who be mumu?
Also in some relationships where fiancés and fiancées agree to no sex before marriage, they engage in all forms of sexually intimate acts, except actual vaginal penetration with the penis; are they still virgins? There are lesbians who are actively involved in same sex relationships, but have never been penetrated, so their hymen might be intact, are they virgins?
Now it gets a little complicated. A school of thought argues that rape victims, who were virgins before the rape, are still virgins, even though they have been penetrated and the hymen, broken. They argue that as long as they did not consent to the act, they are virgins because consent is a prerequisite for losing your virginity.
We know for a fact that sports women and others involved in some physical activities can inadvertently break their hymen. The implication is that there is no evidence to prove their virginity, but can those of them who have never had sex still be classified as virgins?
Who is a virgin? The simple dictionary definition of a virgin is “a person who has never had sexual intercourse.” So what is sexual intercourse? Wikipedia says sexual intercourse “is principally the insertion and thrusting of a male’s penis, usually when erect, into a female’s vagina…” This definition is old, traditional and does not address emerging trends.
Humankind has “moved” on. Same sex relationships and marriages have been legalised in many countries, a fact Wikipedia acknowledges. So, sexual intercourse now includes “MouthAction,” “anal sex” and “fingering” among many other new trends.
So who is a virgin? The definition of a virgin has become a matter of individual interpretations to many, but I will associate virginity with one who is pure, chaste, undefiled, unpolluted and unadulterated. You make your deductions.
Many young men want to marry virgins, but cannot find them. Water everywhere, yet none to drink. Who are the pollutants? Why are the virgins scarce? We all know. If married men and women leave bachelors and spinsters alone and bachelors and spinsters keep their hands off one another, there will be an avalanche of virgins. We are knocking our heads over a situation we contributed in creating?
To young men looking for “virgins” to marry, this is my take. It is your life and you have a right to live it the way you like within legal limits, of course, but I have issues with people who come to equity with filthy hands. Also, what exactly do you want from marriage? You must have clarity of purpose, so that you do not focus on the ephemeral to the detriment of recurring issues in marriage.
Virginity is a virtue and it is good for spiritual reasons and the feel-good factor ( na me disvirgin, actually deflower, my wife), but transgressors should be forgiven. God’s grace, if not, I will not be here running my mouth, sorry pen.
I belong to groups who encourage young people to live chaste lives, but we do not condemn others who have made mistakes, because “there is no condemnation unto those who are in Christ Jesus.”(Rom: 8:1). “If the son of man sets you free, you are free indeed.”(John 8:36). The simple message is “go and sin no more.”(John 8:11).
Let me conclude with an analogy. Prior apologies for comparing God’s created with manmade objects, but I see a relationship between virgins/non virgins and brand new cars/fairly used cars. Everybody loves a brand new car. We love the freshness, the pride of being the person who tore off the “rubber,” but can everybody afford a brand new car?
Again if you are offered a brand new Kia Picanto and a Lexus Jeep that has done only 5000 miles, which one will you choose? Also, between a brand new Honda Accord and a Rolls Royce with a 10,000 mileage, which offers superior performance?
Which is better, marrying a virgin you will live turbulently with for the rest of your life or a spouse who is a soul mate, although she had a prior relationship? Virginity is good, godly and holy, but marriage is much more than virginity. Marriage already has trailer-loads of issues. Sort out prior issues during courtship and leave them there; do not import them into marriage.
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2015/09/who-is-a-virgin/

Safe trip

Liberation in life is total submission to the Will of Allah (SWT), may Allah (SWT) make it easy to listen to our leaders and give us good leaders. In addition, May Allah (SWT) guide President Buhari and Vice President Yemi Osinbanjo on the right path to development of this country.

Barka Jumah.

RIP

May Allah (SWT) Grant him Best Paradise (that is, Firdous)

Obasanjo: The game master and chief navigator of the Change revolution

Sai Buhari till 2023.

Using siren indiscriminately is an index of underdevelopment.
#irepgeography

phabulux:
Well, aare, let me put it this way: hit LIKE if you think aare07 does not have an iota of number six. Hit SHARE if you think he does.

Do you honestly think APC can win a house headship in Bayelsa if it's up for a contest or were you hungry for those likes and shares?

AARE HAS IOTA of Number 6 because for development to come in any society, there must be change. APC represents CHANGE needed in the state

With this PDP action, With total sense of responsibilities, PDP lacks the capacity to act as opposition party in this country. Therefore, Nigerian Youths stand up against any form dictatorship ( either APC or PDP)


Youth 4 progressive Change.
Youth hit the ground running.
Nigeria should move.

Hit LIKE for PDP to emerge as the winner in the Dec. 5 election.

Hit SHARE for APC to form the next government in the state.

Hit LIKE for PDP to emerge as the winner in the Dec. 5 election.

Hit SHARE for APC to form the next government in the state.

Known

Okay

So Help me God

#irepyoruba
#iservenigeria
#iworkforafrica

My cutting rejoinder to Femi Fani-Kayode's "Nigerian President or King of the North?"
The statements credited to Sir Ahmadu Bello, Sir Tafawa Balewa and Aliyu Gwarzo, in your article, were statements made in support of self-preservation of the Hausa/Fulani people of Nigeria. In the United States of America, white Americans have been credited with such views too. Also, during the May 2015 general elections in the United Kingdom, the English, led by Prime Minister David Cameroon and the Mayor of London, Mr Boris Johnson, brought forward a valid argument as to why the English electorate must not vote for the Labour Party. According to the duo, the Labour Party will form a coalition government with the Scottish National Party, both will then hold the income generated in England and use same essentially for the benefit of the Scottish people first and foremost. The argument swayed several English voters. They voted massively for the Conservative party. There was element of self preservation in that argument.
The Hausa/Fulani, the white Americans and the English are very astute when it comes to self preservation of their people first before all others. This is one thing the Yoruba people lack. They have no sense of self preservation.
I disagree with your view that fairness and equity in the distribution of national resources and "key government appointments" are a fundamental pre-requisite for peace, security and national unity in our country. This is a very dangerous thing to say, leading people to believe that if we just switch from Jonathan to Buhari, therefore the imbalance in social and economic development will disappear. It will not disappear.
How does Buhari’s victory increase the welfare of the Yoruba people? The Yoruba welfare will be improved not by appointing Fashola, Fayemi and or Abike Dabiri as Federal Ministers and or Ambassadors, but by concrete policies that would uplift their lives.
Restructuring of Nigeria along the path of parliamentary system that will ensure a return to regional autonomy in which 90% of the revenue generated in the Yoruba South-West region will be reinvested into the Yoruba economy will increase the welfare of the Yoruba citizens and residents in Yorubaland.
In fact, our concern should not with Buhari's government key appointments, which has Buhari as the president and several other Hausa/Fulani in powerful political positions, but how does the position of Prof. Osinbajo, the Vice-President guarantee the retention of the wealth generated in Yorubaland to remain in Yorubaland and not to be utilised to fund growth in Buhari’s North-West?
Of course, there are Yoruba-APC millionaires in big cars and large houses. Is it the answer to make a few Yoruba appointee millionaires with big cars and large houses? That is what APC's change means. But how does that resolve the ground problem of economic injustice where Yoruba’s wealth and resources fund economic growth and development in Buhari’s North?
If we delude people into thinking that they are poor because of the lack of key appointments for Yoruba-APC members in Buhari's government or because Jonathan’s corrupt -where are we going to end up?
Indeed, many Yorubas are poor and miserable because the wealth and resources generated in Yorubaland go to Abuja to fund the lifestyles of politicians and to provide economic growth and development in the North. This must be changed peacefully or through a war.
This is the problem with the Yoruba. You know it and I know it. We have known it for a long time. We are a unitary state and unitarism in a multicultural country is out of date.
Unitarism is on the way out but is not moving fast enough. The Yoruba Youths intend to give unitarism a final push and sink it for good in Nigeria. But unitary system alone is not our enemy. Our enemy is the evil that unitarism brings.
Unitary system is the rock on which Hausa/Fulani oligarchies, their Yoruba collaborators, and neo-colonialists build their houses at the expense of the Yoruba and the people of the Niger Delta. Unitary system corrupts because quite a lot of them can do very nicely for themselves and their states under the system.
Now we all know that there is something wrong with the unitary system in Nigeria, when the Yoruba, the economic backbone of Nigeria, cannot meet up its responsibilities. But for the past 10 months that Aregbesola has been unable to pay the Osun State's workers salaries, Yoruba's money continues to fund the economic growth and development in the Hausa/Fulani region of Nigeria. Money from the Nigeria Customs Service; the Federal Inland Revenue Service; the Nigeria Ports Authority; the Central Bank of Nigeria; the Nigeria Maritime Administration and Safety Agency; and the Nigeria National Petroleum Corporation.
Unitary system maintains the North by using the wealth and resources of the Yoruba and the Niger Delta regions to support growth in the North, ostensibly aimed at reducing the Yoruba to mere slaves.
What do we complain about? That we are governed by Hausa/Fulani from the North. That the Hausa/Fulani, are able to come to Yorubaland with Federal Inland Revenue Services to collect our Personal Income Tax, Corporate Income Tax, Withholding Tax, Capital Gain Tax, Education Tax, National Information Technology Tax, Petroleum Profits Tax, Value Added Tax and Stamp Duties from us and take same to Abuja to be shared by the number of states, local governments and fake population figures in which the Hausa/Fulani have the highest numbers and yet contributed merely 5% to the Federal Government revenue when the Yoruba and the people of the Niger Delta contributed 49% and 44% respectively. Exploitation is the word.
No man can be a full human being if he has to say "Yes Sir", "No Sir", to a man who is boss because he belongs to the born-to-rule.
The time has come for the Yoruba Youths to unite for we can't stop this exploitation unless we are masters in our own Yoruba Country. So that is the first thing that has to be put right. We have got to have regional autonomy. It is regional autonomy now or the dissolution of Nigeria. Our concern should not be about Buhari's government key appointments.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10152952714596249&id=668706248

Accept responsibility any where, any time that is crux of the matter

I will win Noble prize in geography.

May God save him.

Yes.

Sai leader

…To address session on Wednesday

Senate President, Dr. Abubakar Bukola Saraki, will today (Monday) lead the Nigerian delegation to participate in the 4th United Nations Conference of Parliamentary Heads holding at the organisation’s headquarters in New York, United States.

This year’s conference which will be declared open by the United Nations Secretary-General, Mr. Ban Ki-moon, will feature presentation of reports and general debate on “placing democracy at the service of peace and sustainable development.”

Other issues billed for debate include ‘Challenges facing Parliaments today’, ‘Parliamentary Oversight: challenges and opportunities ‘, while Dr. Saraki is expected to participate in a multi-lateral meeting to be hosted by the Speaker of the Israeli Parliament (Knesset), Mr. Yuli-Yoel Edelstein.

The United Nations Office for Disaster Risk Reduction (UNISDR), Inter Parliamentary Union (IPU) and selected Heads of Parliaments (GLOBE International Representation) are also expected to meet on the sidelines during the conference.

The Senate President is billed to address the session of the world forum on Wednesday September 2 and later hold a press conference immediately after the speech. He is also billed to hold bilateral talks with the heads of delegation of China, Germany, France and United Kingdom.

Saraki is accompanied on the trip by Senators Andy Uba, Shehu Sani and Dino Melaye. Others on the entourage include Special Adviser to the Senate President on Economic Matters, Dr. Uchendu Okoye and Special Assistant on Public Partnerships, Mr. innocent Onah.

The Senate President and his team departed the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja for New York on Saturday ahead of the conference which begins on Monday 31st August 2015 and ends on Wednesday September 3, 2015.

Yusuph Olaniyonu

Special Adviser to Senate President on Media and Publicity

http://www.abubakarbukolasaraki.com/saraki-leads-delegation-to-4th-un-conference-of-parliamentary-heads/

FTC

Message for that guy

Every woman is beautiful

K

Well written article. Kudos to the OP.

[color=#550000][/color]OKUPE is sending message to we ( Youth)
Therefore, youths wake UP



Youth 4 progressive change and dynamic development.

Grass to grace

Yahaya Bello


Kogi needs purposeful and value-added leadership.

#Kogidecides