₦airaland Forum

smartbabe1: Hi everyone, please a friend introduced me to this inspiring site and i wish to get some good advice from you all b/c i believe that two heads are better than one and i may really get good advice from some peeps that have witness this.

i got married last 2yrs, we did only traditional wedding . we got divorced last year b/c of some incompatibility in us. and hubby changing into something else when God used me to bless him. but i'm divorced though i have a son. i got divorced last yr. since my divorced, i have been alone praying, asking God to change him but to no avail. i'm a human being i can't keep on waiting. life has to go on b/c i have lost alot of suitors even after the divorce b/c i have always wanted to have my kids from the same dad but nature doesn't want that.

i have been bored and lonely since last year b/c i didn't wanna give any guy chance though they were coming.i decided to wait to know if we will amend things but to no avail. few months ago, i decided to date someone but this time around, someone more older blc i believe that it may be my hubby's age that made him to be a mummy's boy and misbehaved, though he is not a baby. He is presently 35 while i am 25yr.

my present guy is 38yrs while i'm 25yrs. He is from Anambra, He is really a God sent to wipe away my tears. He loves me so much more than i do b/c i'm still scared of another marriage but i have to settle than b/c i'm not getting younger and he is very comfortable. we have done necessary introduction, as in showing and introducing each other to family members. By God's grace he will be paying my dowry this xmas. i told him that i don't want to do traditional wedding since i have done one before. As a lovely matured guy he is , he accepted but we will do our white wedding in Easter as we planned.

He is saying that is either my ex. takes my son or he adopts him. i have pleaded with him to allow my son grow with us for more two yrs before his dad takes him. but he says no. that he is too emotional, is it after he developed love and feeling for my son (our son) and my son will call him daddy, they will always be playing every night, one day one man like that will just come and take his boy away from him with an excuse that he is the biological father just b/c he was the one that donated sperm, that he will feel as if he has lost something and he can never get over it.

i have discussed with my ex and also my people have called him but he said he wouldn't take him now that my son must reach 6yrs before he takes him. meanwhile he is not bring money for his upkeep. my fiancee has given me so much reasons for us to adopt my son so that he will be his first child and when i give birth in future our baby will also have a brother to talk to and he must train him to any level. he knows that my son is a very great man. i have tried to let him know that this is Nigeria, his dad must come for him in future. he always say that i shouldn't panic.

please my fellow Nairalanders, should i allow my fiancee to adopt my son after our marriage this December? i'm really confused here b/c i don't want war blw me and my son's dad.

thanks.