I said my friend sent it to me and I'm not sure if she copied it so I posted it here to get your thoughts, nawa o , Nigerians love insult and everyone wants to go to heaven, Abi una don go ni

My friend sent this story to me and asked for advice , I don't know if she copied it from somewhere so you guys please read and give your advice, I already posted it somewhere else but having a lot of people's opinion makes it fun and understanding

I work at a restaurant with a great team and awesome manager. To give some backstory my manager (30 years old) and I have been talking on and off for about 3 months, we started talking when he got my number when we with some staff out for drinks, he was flirting with me all night and asked me to come home with him and I declined. Since then we've talked, I've sent him pictures and that's about as far as it has gone until 3 days ago. I stayed with my friend and some of the staff and my manager for drinks after work, my manger grabbed my hand and took me into the kitchen and kissed me and then we went back to continue parting. we kissed a couple times throughout the night in secret and then he was leaving, he took me outside and asked me to come home with him and I again declined. We kissed a bit more and then he left and I went home. Now fast forward to last night we had our staff party, all the stuff were pretty bleeping drunk, we started out on a party bus, went bowling and then went to a bar, a lot of them went home once we got to the bar so it was me, my manager, 2 other girls and one of the bartenders. My manager took me to a booth away from everyone else and we just started taking. I started crying just about some life things and he kissed me and held me to console me. everyone came and found us and was consoling me and we decided to go to my managers house to hang out for a bit. Everyone left so it was just me and my manager... we went to his room and were laying down in bed when he started to kiss me, I told him I couldn't do anything for multiple reasons, first because I have a boyfriend, second because I was way too drunk and third I was on my period lol, he said he didn't care and undressed me. He started sucking my boobs and kissing my body all over, he went down and started eating me out and then got undressed and laid on top of me and started bleeping me. I told him to Bleep me from behind so he did. It felt so good but I was too drunk to orgasm. He was done quickly as I know he was wishing for this moment for a long time. Once he finished he started to pass out so I gathered my clothes and put them back on and called my boyfriend to pick me up, he thought I was at ones of the girls houses. My manager and I kissed before I left and went home. I'm so hungover today and I feel so numb to it all. It doesn't even really feel like it happened but yet I just keep apologizing to my boyfriend even though he has no idea why. I can't tel him. I've already bleeped up our relationship before by being an idiot and I really really don't want to lose him. I'm such an awful girlfriend. I told myself I would never chef on him ever, and I genuinely thought I wouldn't. I texted my manager today and said I was sorry for last night and that it can never happen again, he agreed and apologized to. I guess I'm on here just to vent about it.
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I have always been against this and I'm sure this story that was sent to me on whatsapp would help some people going through same thing.


I lived in a violent marriage for years. I was very naive at first and really didnt know people like him existed. He would kick me, slap me, push me, trip me over, throw things at me, stand on my feet, yell abuse, call me names like ‘social cripple’, the list goes on and on, but he never punched me.

In fact he would say to people that he couldnt stand ‘wife bashers’. He would tell me that he didn’t want the children to play with so and so children because they were a bad influence.

He tried to isolate us from all those who loved us and new people we met would go through character assasinations by him.

Life was continous hell, fear and horror and he always blamed the children or me for his violence.

Things got a lot worse towards the end. He would threaten to run us all off the road in the car and kill us. The violence became a daily occurance if not several episodes a day.

 

How I coped

Basically i coped by trying to keep him happy so he wouldnt do these things to us. I believed for a long time that it was my fault or the children’s. I cried a lot when he wasn’t home. I lost all my belief in myself. I was totally isolated and spoke to no one about what was happening. I dont think i really did cope except to hide it from the world and from myself.

 

How the situation changed

When his violence became much worse and was being directed at the children I changed. I began to read about self esteem and positive affirmations. I contacted a friend I used to know who worked in a Woman’s Centre and speaking to her made me realise we were not alone. Finally I began to see the reality of what was happening. When we left I believed he was going to kill us.

 

What helped me

The Domestic Violence Center women have helped me so very much. The support and understanding and sharing of experiences. Counselling, and I have done some violence recovery and self confidence courses. When the Family Court recognised what hell we went through and ordered absolute no contact for him with my children, was a big turning point in my healing. Good friends and family have been wonderful as well.

 

What I would say to others

If I could come and help you leave I would but it is you who has to do it. Leaving permanently is the only thing that will change the situation. You cant make him better no matter how much you love him. It is NOT your fault, it is his. You are a wonderful person and deserve so much better.

You are not alone, there are many people who know what you are going through. Reach out to people and contact support groups like those who own this website, they are the experts. Most of all believe in yourself and know you are strong.

lefulefu:
well as far as dem never send am transport fare for possible hookup then everytin's safe

Abeg ooo this is my first account , I don't know whosoever queen whateveris

EbubeDam:

Where u chatting from?

Lagos

ninetiethcrown7:


Yh I don't mind, but we just friends on this forum, and I don't want to know anything else about you.

If that's fine.

Funny enough we might know each other in reality but it's fine by meeeeee

ninetiethcrown7:


Okay, enjoy yourself on nairaland.

Lol you could be my friend hope you don't mind?

EbubeDam:

How sure u not a scam?

No I'm not

ninetiethcrown7:


Your welcome. It's nice having you here.

What's your addiction? If I may ask.

Anything worth being addicted to

The perks of sex extend well beyond the bedroom.

1. Helps Keep Your Immune System Humming

“Sexually active people take fewer sick days,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD a sexual health expert.

People who have sex have higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders. Researchers at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that college students who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of the a certain antibody compared to students who had sex less often.

You should still do all the other things that make your immune system happy, such as:

Eat right.
Stay active.
Get enough sleep.
Keep up with your vaccinations.
Use a condom if you don’t know both of your STD statuses.

2. Boosts Your Libido

Longing for a more lively sex life? “Having sex will make sex better and will improve your libido,” says Lauren Streicher, MD. She is an assistant clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago.

For women, having sex ups vaginal lubrication, blood flow, and elasticity, she says, all of which make sex feel better and help you crave more of it.

3. Improves Women's Bladder Control

A strong pelvic floor is important for avoiding incontinence, something that will affect about 30% of women at some point in their lives.

Good sex is like a workout for your pelvic floor muscles. When you have an orgasm, it causes contractions in those muscles, which strengthens them.

4. Lowers Your Blood Pressure

Research suggests a link between sex and lower blood pressure, says Joseph J. Pinzone, MD. He is CEO and medical director of Amai Wellness.

“There have been many studies,” he says. “One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.” That's the first number on your blood pressure test.



5. Counts as Exercise

“Sex is a really great form of exercise,” Pinzone says. It won’t replace the treadmill, but it counts for something.

Sex uses about five calories per minute, four more calories than watching TV. It gives you a one-two punch: It bumps up your heart rate and uses various muscles.

So get busy! You may even want to clear your schedule to make time for it on a regular basis. “Like with exercise, consistency helps maximize the benefits,” Pinzone says.

6. Lowers Heart Attack Risk

A good sex life is good for your heart. Besides being a great way to raise your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

“When either one of those is low you begin to get lots of problems, like osteoporosis and even heart disease,” Pinzone says.

Having sex more often may help. During one study, men who had sex at least twice a week were half as likely to die of heart disease as men who had sex rarely.

7. Lessens Pain

Before you reach for an aspirin, try for an orgasm.

“Orgasm can block pain,” says Barry R. Komisaruk, PhD, a distinguished service professor at Rutgers, the State University of New Jersey. It releases a hormone that helps raise your pain threshold.

Stimulation without orgasm can also do the trick. “We’ve found that vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and many women have told us that genital self-stimulation can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache,” Komisaruk says.

8. May Make Prostate Cancer Less Likely

Going for the gusto may help ward off prostate cancer.

Men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer during one study, which was published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

You don’t need a partner to reap this benefit: Sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, and masturbation were all part of the equation.

It's not clear that sex was the only reason that mattered in that study. Lots of factors affect cancer risk. But more sex won’t hurt.


9. Improves Sleep

You may nod off more quickly after sex, and for good reason.

“After orgasm, the hormone prolactin is released, which is responsible for the feelings of relaxation and sleepiness" after sex, says Sheenie Ambardar, MD. She is a psychiatrist in West Hollywood, Calif.

10. Eases Stress

Being close to your partner can soothe stress and anxiety.

Ambardar says touching and hugging can release your body's natural “feel-good hormone.” Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system.

Sex and intimacy can boost your self-esteem and happiness, too, Ambardar says. It’s not only a prescription for a healthy life, but a happy one.

Masturbation should not be a taboo topic for women: Not only does it feel amazing, but it can also improve your health, sleep, and sex life. Whether you struggle to reach orgasm, are a busy mom who needs to do the deed faster, or are simply looking for a different masturbation technique to spice things up, these tips will sharpen your solo sex skills.

1 OF 15

FIGURE OUT WHERE YOUR center of gravity IS.
Assuming you're familiar with the clitoris, it's time you get to know the more elusive center of gravity. Located on the upper wall of the vagina, about two to three inches inside the vaginal opening, it swells up when you are already aroused, says Courtney Cleman, founder of the V. Club. Stimulating it can boost the sensations that can help you orgasm that much faster, she adds.

While there are center of gravity vibrators that help get the job done, to find it manually, insert one or two fingers into your vagina, palm facing down, and curl your fingers back. When you start to feel stimulated, you've hit the jackpot.

2 OF 15

MAKE MASTURBATION A FULL-BODY EXPERIENCE.
Your clitoris and center of gravity may be the main events during masturbation, but paying attention to the rest of your body can enhance your experience, Cleman says.

“Run your hands all over your body, as your partner would do, and give attention to your breasts, hips, and other areas where being touched turns you on,” she suggests. “Like sex, masturbation will be more fulfilling if you make it a full-body experience.”

3 OF 15

KEEP YOUR LEGS TOGETHER DURING ORGASM.
Bringing your legs together just as you’re approaching orgasm will make masturbation (and sex) more pleasurable. Cleman says doing so increases stimulation to the clitoral organ, which is actually six to eight inches long, on average. "[It] will give a sudden boost to your sensations, and can push you over the edge immediately," she says. "Just don’t do it too early when your body can’t possibly orgasm yet.”

4 OF 15

FOCUS ON A FANTASY.
When you want to masturbate but don't have much time, Cleman says it's best to hone in on a single sexual fantasy and stick to it. "The brain is our largest sex organ, so to masturbate faster, try to stay in the moment,” she explains. “Focusing your mind on the pleasure that you are experiencing will make orgasm stronger and bring it on faster.”

5 OF 15

SET THE MOOD.
Even the smallest distraction can keep you from reaching orgasm, which is why setting the mood can be one of the most important steps you take. Goddess Cecilia, a sexuality and pleasure educator at O. School Pleasure Professional, suggests having a couple of stimuli always at the ready. "A favorite descriptive paragraph in a steamy story, sexy images, or videos for your eyes only [are all great ideas," she says. Even if you don't have a ton of time to spare, making these stimuli a part of your masturbation can help put your brain in a state that's primed for pleasure, making it all the more likely to have an orgasm.

6 OF 15

USE LUBE.
Lubricant is not meant to be reserved for penetrative sex; using it is an easy way to get you to orgasm faster, Cecilia says. Just make sure you purchase one that works best for your body — if you have a history of frequent UTIs, yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, or you just feel more sensitive down there, Cecilia says a more natural, water-based lubricant is likely to work well as it has fewer ingredients that could potentially be irritating.


7 OF 15

FIND A intimacy gadget YOU LOVE.
intimacy gadgets are as diverse as women's desires, so it's important that you try out a variety of them to discover which toy textures and sensations you enjoy most. One kind that Cecilia is a big fan of? Toys that rumble. "[They] tend to have better stimulation and produce better orgasms,” she says.

But every woman is different, and there's such a wide variety of products out there that provide different types of stimulation — oscillation, rotation, and pulsations of air, for example. "Once you know what type your body responds well to, that can be your go-to toy that brings you to bliss with minimal effort," Cecilia says.

8 OF 15

TRY USING TOYS IN WATER.
Masturbating in water can instantly relax your body and mind, and there’s no shortage of intimacy gadgets that are perfect for water play.

“Try a suction Love Machine that attaches to the surface of the tub,” says Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., sexologist and host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast. “You can adjust the angle and height, [as well as] the rhythm and depth to suit your needs.”

O'Reilly's top pick: the We-Vibe Wish. "It fits perfectly around the entire surface of your lips to stimulate the inner and outer parts of your clitoris," she says.

9 OF 15

EXPERIMENT WITH TEMPERATURE.
When you masturbate in the shower, changing the temperature by a few degrees can make a world of difference. Run a warm shower and, while the hot water cascades over you, press your frontside against the cold wall and touch yourself,” O’Reilly suggests. Focus on how your clitoris responds to the sensations of the cool wall and the hot water in succession, as the contrast may bring you to the brink faster.

10 OF 15

READ A STEAMY BOOK.
Many women are verbal, so it's more likely they'll be turned on by steamy passages in books than by visuals or their own sexual fantasies, O'Reilly says. That's why she suggests stashing a few sexy books by your bed, and reading a chapter or two before you masturbate. Then, "if the mood strikes you, you can drop the book and get yourself off using your fingers and fantasy alone," she adds.

11 OF 15

CHANGE POSITIONS.
Always having sex in the same position can get boring, and the same goes for masturbation. And while there's nothing wrong with doing it the same way for years, mixing it up can bring you to new levels of pleasure.

“New positions lead to new angles and new, often more pleasurable, sensations as your body is awakened by the thrill of anticipation and the unknown," O'Reilly says. Need some inspiration? “Try squatting, lying on your stomach, standing, or putting one leg up on the side of the tub or bed,” she suggests.


12 OF 15

WEAR A VIBRATOR DURING THE DAY.
If there's no time to get off before you get on with your day, don't wait until you're back in the bedroom to get in the mood. You can actually wear a discreet vibrator beneath your clothes. The We-Vibe Jive, for example, is designed to deliver rumbly vibrations to your center of gravity, and the thin outer arm fits discreetly in your underwear so no one will be the wiser, O'Reilly says. "You can control it from your phone, or give your partner the power to control it from theirs." Sounds like the making for a fun sex game, if you ask us.


13 OF 15

DOUBLE-CHECK YOUR MEDS.
It's not super well-known, but some medications can really mess with your arousal and libido. Antidepressants like Prozac, hormones, and pills that treat hypertension are common culprits, O'Reilly says, so if you've been experiencing a delay in orgasm since starting a new prescription, talk to your doctor about alternatives with fewer sexual side effects.


14 OF 15

CONSIDER UNEXPECTED PROPS.
If intimacy gadgets aren't really your style, there's good news: There are plenty of props around your house that can do the job just as well. "Rub up against the side of the mattress, a firm pillow or the bathroom sink,”

15 OF 15

GO WITH WHAT WORKS.
A few masturbation tips are really helpful, but at the end of the day, what feels good is unique to you. So try not to get too caught up in what you see in porn or hear from friends. "You can be inspired by other people, but ultimately you have to experiment to discover what turns you on and gets you off,” O’Reilly says. “Some people prefer penetration, and others like to rub themselves off. Some desire intense vibrations; others respond to the gentle flow of warm water. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to masturbation.”

Moral of the story: relax — and have fun.

Hey guys , I'm new here and I don't mind making new friends for those interested