Should Good Girls Attract Men or Just Be Themselves?

When I read articles about the "laws of attraction" and "how to attract the man of your dreams" I wonder how many young women are really falling for this gimmick. Think about this for a moment. If you have to behave differently, other than just being yourself to attract the opposite sex, then is the person you are trying to attract, really someone you would want to have a relationship with?

Why does a woman feel she needs to "attract" a man? Will he not be attracted to her if she were to be herself? Is it appropriate behavior to do things in order to grab the attention of a man? Does it not make the man feel the woman is easy? Or will she say no when he wants sex? If she says no, then the attracting thing was all a sham. But if she says yes then I guess she will just have to go through the whole rigmarole of the dating scene with him.

Don't get me wrong, I've done the dating scene already and I made many mistakes along the way. I didn't know anything about what I am now talking about because no one ever shed some light on the subject of dating to me. It was "normal" in the........Leave your comment and read more here in my website......

www.tips4marriages.com.

[b]HOW TO OPEN A PAYPAL

In answer to many search queries and to the problem many Nigerians and some other countries are having about opening and verifying a paypal account, I decide to make this post that will guide you on how to open and very a paypal account from a paypal restricted country without using any software to hide your ip

Just follow the steps below and you are about 5 minutes to owning a verified paypal account from any country.

PROCEDURES

1. To enable you open and verify a paypal account from a restricted country, you need a virtual address, virtual phone number and debit card. Now, to get this things, logon to Graphcard and signup. After signing up, check your mailbox and you will see two messages, a welcome message from graphcard and an automated message containing username and password from VTN (virtualterminalnetwork.com). VTN is a merchant which operates with graphcard and their aim to allow you fund your graphcard account.

2. Having registered with graphcard and verified your account, lets proceed to funding your graphcard account to enable you get the virtual address, virtual phone number and debit card. Now, login to your VTN (virtualterminalnetwork.com) account using the username and password that they sent you earlier. Having logged in, update your account with them by providing all neccesary informations, after updating this, get their local bank account number which is probably a local bank in your country. Now, go to the bank and pay the amount you want to fund your graphcard with into their account, after this login to your VTN account and notify them that you are the person who credited or paid into their account by submiting the payment informations like deposit slip number(teller number), depositor�s name and so on. In less than 24 hours, your account on VTN will be credited with the amount you paid.

3. Now, login to your graphcard account and click on add funds. You be automatically brought to a secure page where you can transfer funds from your VTN by entering your login informations. After entering the informations, click on submit and your account will be funded. You can now buy the virtual debit card, address and phone number.

4. After getting those items above, logon to paypal by visiting this website(www.newipnow.com) which will allow you hide your ip. When you get to this site, enter the url www.paypal.com on their address bar and choose the country whose ip you want use, e.g U.S.A.

Note: They have free and paid services, the free service works very well only that the paid service provides you with a list of different countries ip to choose from.

Having done this, hit the go button and you will be automatically redirected to paypal with an american.

5. Just feel free and signup with paypal using the virtual address, phone number and debit card you bought from graphcard. After signing up and verifying your email address, login and verify your paypal account by clicking on get verified. After clicking, you will be brought to a page with two verification options: (card verification or bank verification), choose card verification and enter your debit card details (the one you got from graphcard).

Now you have a verified paypal account from a none surpported or paypal restricted country. This marks the end of our tutorial on opening a verified paypal account from a restricted country without using any software to hide your ip.[/b][color=#000099][/color]

[b]
My wife and I dated for about 2 years before we got married. We were both in our late 20's at the time, and both in college when we met. The desire to get married quickly became apparent, but the timing was also essential. Getting married may be the right thing-a subject outside the purview of this particular article-but the timing itself may be bad.

There are a variety of things you need to consider to determine how long you ought to wait before getting married.

AGE OF BOTH INDIVIDUALS

To be blunt about it, the younger you are the less experienced you are about life, and the more time you need to make certain realizations about each other.In as much i love early marriages,it involves a lot of preparedness.This is because they must have a source of livelihood.

Knowing your own mind and understanding life better is a very important factor in the timing of marriage. Many marriages fall apart, not because the couple failed to love each other, but because inexperience and uncertainty got in the way.

The older you are, the more settled you are and the more able you are to make wise and smart choices. The average age that a couple gets married in today's society is between 26 and 30. A hundred years ago, the age was around 18 or 19. The difference is that a hundred years ago people were forced to grow up sooner. But today, we have forty year olds who live and die just to play computer games and little else.

The odds are, the older you are the more likely you are to be smarter about decisions in life. Having more understanding and experience about life is important to consider. You may think that love will sustain you, but you'll doubt that when you have to move back home with mommy and daddy because you can't make it on your own, or when another pretty or handsome face starts catching your attention and you start wondering what it might be like...

STABILITY IN LIFE

Immaturity and financial instability are things to consider before marriage. Money is one of the top five reasons people seek divorce. Immaturity indicates that a person's mind hasn't settled enough to really know what he or she wants. They're more likely to jump ship later. Immaturity indicates that their character is still growing. You don't want to marry someone who can't show up for work on time. One day, he just may not show up for you.

Typically, women mature faster than men do. This isn't always the case, but it is something to keep in mind when considering marriage at a young age or even soon after meeting someone.

You also need to consider current situations such as: college, career, living with parents, job history, and so forth. Sometimes waiting until these things are resolved will help the marriage last.

SPIRITUAL, EMOTIONAL, AND MENTAL INTIMACY

Most couples get married because of the physical attraction or of shared interests. But more needs to be known of each other than just if she looks pretty or he looks handsome.

Do you know each other intimately emotionally, mentally, and spiritually? If you don't, you aren't ready for marriage. The physical is not nearly as important as these factors. One of the reasons I waited until marriage to have sex is because I didn't want the physical to take away from getting to know my future wife in these other areas. It was hard, but we did it. I'm so glad that we did too.

KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF RELATIONSHIPS

Most people just haul off and get married without ever realizing that they really don't know how to make a relationship work. My wife and I went through premarital counseling, read many books, and made a study of solid relationships before we got married. We're still very, very happily married after 11 years.

We go to college for years and years to prepare for a lifelong career. But we spend little time studying to have a lifelong relationship that we call marriage. How many books have you read? How much counseling have you gotten? How much time have you spent studying people with successful marriages? How many lectures have you attended?

Most people seek answers to relationship problems after they have the problem. By then they've already been hurt and the pain can often blind us to obvious solutions. Don't let that be you.

I do a lot of counseling of relationships. When a couple asks me how long they ought to be dating, I take in consideration these four factors. Too soon would be anything where the issues of these four factors haven't been ironed out appropriately.

I'm not sure there is a connection between the length of dating and divorce. The connection lies more in the issues that haven't been resolved before they actually get married.

The younger you are, often the longer it takes to iron out these issues. Someone in his fifties and sixties may be settled in these areas and can have a very successful marriage with only a couple months of dating. It's possible. For younger couples, at least 2 years seems to be the norm to figure out the issues listed above.[/b]......READ MORE HERE......www.tips4marriages.com

Statistics now show that 60 percent of marriages fail. Why do you think that is? It is because we are not marrying suitable people. If a person exploits you and disrespects you during the courtship / dating period, what makes you think anything is going to change after marrying them?

During the "getting to know one another" stage of the relationship do they care more about what they can receive from you than getting to know you? Do they care more about what you have, how you look, or what you do for a living than the person within? These things are all very superficial and do not matter for having a loving and stable marriage.

Building A Firm Marriage Foundation Before Getting Married

If your relationship starts out as a sexual relationship but never develops into anything else and you marry them, what will the relationship be based on? Lust and desire are not emotions that we should base our marriage on. Having sex with someone before getting married does not guarantee marital success. But getting to know someone's character and seeing they have moral convictions about marriage purity does!

Marrying someone with lots of money and stuff will not guarantee marriage happiness, but marrying someone because you both live comparable lifestyles in Jesus Christ does! Marrying someone because they are good-looking does not guarantee happiness ever after, but marrying people who are committed to staying married, no matter what, does!

The bottom line is we need to marry people who share our same beliefs in Jesus Christ. Just because two people "say" they are Christians does not mean they are compatible people. One person's faith and beliefs may be VERY different than another person's faith and beliefs. Know who you are marrying!

The root of the problem for failing marriages is that they do not start off right to begin with. Without a firm foundation to support the marriage on, it cannot survive, hence divorce, or at the very least, an unhappy marriage. We need to start off our relationships on something tangible and true! God and His principles are something we can hang onto when times are tough in our marriage, but feelings of lust and desire diminish with time and will not be around to help us when we are having marriage difficulties.

Why are we so superficial in our relationships? Why are we jumping into marriage with such fairytale images of happiness ever after? I think it is because we have not been taught how to find suitable marriage spouses from our parents and because we aren't waiting on God. We seriously need to pray about our friendships with the opposite sex and never take our focus off of the reason we are able to even love another properly in the first place. If Christ had not sacrificed his life for ours how would we have learned what real love and forgiveness is all about?

Jesus Christ living in us gives us the fruits to discern the difference between someone who is only using us and thinks they want to spend the rest of their life with us, and the person who we should actually marry. Look for the fruits in others. Fruits do not come from outside appearances, nobility, status, money, power, etc. But fruits of the Spirit come from within a person. These are what we need to look for in a potential marriage spouse. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance, against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23).

Read more here.......www.tips4marriages.com.[b][/b]

HIV IN MARRIAGE.....DANGERS

1. Poor boundaries. We need to be careful when we are married because of some issues that needs to be tackled so that it will not bring suspicion.

We need to have a clear boundary with the opposite friends.I mean when we have friends, we need to put a boundary as not to offend our spouse because there a lot of cases where spouses complained about infidelity.

Engaging in intimate conversations with members of the opposite sex leads to emotional experiences that cloud judgment, trigger fantasy life, and progress toward physical intimacies outside of marriage.

The connection and acceptance found in an illicit relationship diverts energy away from solving problems with one’s spouse.

Confiding about marital problems with a sympathetic listener provides a contrasting experience to whatever dissatisfaction might be present in the marriage.

2. Selfishness. There needs to be fairness in the distribution of work and responsibility within the relationship. This willingness to extend oneself also pertains to meeting emotional needs.

Placing one’s desires consistently ahead of a partner’s emotional needs and responding only when it is a matter of convenience, demand or negotiations leaves a spouse feeling unloved.

If too many important needs are neglected over time, the unloved spouse feels used or taken advantage of. Consistent lack of love interferes with a spouse’s willingness to give unselfishly in the relationship.

When marriage partners don’t trust their needs will be met, they tend to meet their own needs first and become hesitant to share freely of themselves.

Selfishness in its most destructive form involves control, manipulation, jealousy, possessiveness, demands and abuse in order to get one’s way. In milder forms, it is lack of consideration and respect.

In marriage,either the man or the man should live a life of selfishness and the bad spirit of egoism should be buried.We must all strive to serve each other like how christ served the church.

3. Disrespectful judgments. Marriage needs acceptance, admiration, appreciation and emotional safety. Feelings of anger and hurt follow when the process of exploring differences or contrasting opinions consistently degenerates into criticism, impatience, labeling, contempt, or discrediting one’s thoughts or feelings.

It is disrespectful to try to change a spouse’s thinking by lecture, ridicule, threats, brainwashing, or negative aspersions. These perceived attacks on personality, character, intelligence or values undermine the mutual respect that forms the basis of love.

The tendency is to retaliate in kind or else to withdraw and not share one’s ideas. It becomes hard to love or give of oneself when one feels unfairly judged or mistreated.

4. Explosive, angry outbursts or rages. Anger can have a useful purpose if it is listened to and leads to dialogue and constructive problem-solving. However, anger can either create more anger or withdrawal, both of which interfere with effective communications.

Unbridled and unpredictable tempers interfere with emotional safety and trust when spouses need to engage each other on emotional issues. The issues behind the anger get lost as the angry response is perceived as unjust, abusive and unwarranted. It is intimidating and controlling.

5. Lack of emotional intimacy. The lack of sharing one feelings, goals, hurts, struggles, joys and emotional details of one’s life lead to loneliness and sadness. Feelings of friendship and partnership come from ..........

Read more in www.tips4marriages.com

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[b]
How to Tell If A Guy Is Interested In You : 8 Signs You Can't Afford To Miss!

You might have the faintest idea on the guy you should be trusting and on the one you should be avoiding. Chances are you may be having a person on the back of your mind and you really like him, but you do not know if he is a player.

Whatever your heart may tell you, and what ever your feelings, does not make the mistake of obsessing over any guy whom you can never have. There may be so many other boys even in your neighborhood, who would be 1000 times better than the guy you thought about.

In that case, you would be really wasting precious time and energy obsessing over that guy whom you could care for and who would actually justify your feelings.

Before you jump into any conclusion, I would rather suggest that you take time studying the person you like a little from every angle. You should have a fair idea about what type of a person your preferred guy really is, or is he just a player or a user. You can avoid any nasty surprises he could probably give you in case he is just a player.

One of the foremost things you can look to in a guy is the way in which he mingles with other females around. This is one good signs you could get to know if he is just a flirt and how smoothly he gets along with ladies around.

So remember, whenever you next happen to be together at a campus, restaurant or party, observe how he behaves with other females around him, and if you find him casual and comfortable with other ladies, it could mean he has had good prior experience handling girls in the past.

Next, if you have closely observed him and find that he is fairly comfortable with women and other girls, and that he finds cool to place hands on girls (it could mean even you), you can be rest assured that he is just a player.

You can look forward to many signals that reveal the main question like 'is he really interested in me?' or 'is he genuinely interested in me?'. Some of the points are illustrated below:

1. Keep a watch on the chap you really have a liking for, and if possible try catching him gazing at you. If he is really serious about a girl, he will look for a chance to gaze at her even when she is not looking.

Thus if you are able to catch him from the corner gazing at you, then it is a positive signal. He is really showing keen interest in you.

2. Observe if he is smiling at you, when you happen to walk together, or just in a general manner.

3. Notice his behavior in general with people around you; chances are his behavior has somewhat changed recently.

4. When he initiates, try to show interest in his gestures and then observe how he responds. This should make him comfortable to ask you out on a date.

5. Please see if recently he has put efforts to get to know and befriend your friends more than earlier

6. You can alternatively ask some of your friends to do the talking - this is one of the quickest strategies and could work positively if you would like to know the answer fast. But it ought to be subtle.

7. You may also befriend his friends, if you happen to be lucky. But do not worry, if you do not know anyone of them. It takes a little effort to know and befriend them. After this happens, you can comfortably ask his friends, but keep it subtle.

8. If you find him teasing you, or making jokes at you then you can be sure that he is surely interested in you.

You can also look for the five signs to decide if he is serious about you too:

- He informs someone about the fact that he likes you too.
- He has that killing look which says everything.
- He listens and responds positively to whatever you say.
- He happens to know your schedules, so appears sometimes unexpectedly.
- If you are well a happy and fun-loving person, there is no reason why he won't like you.

If these five questions were answered, he would be on the verge of asking you out. Relationships begin from here.

As aptly said, a woman has a hidden talent to read a man's eyes through her eyes. If a male really likes you, he is sure to make a direct eye contact with you. He will be at his best behavior when he is with you. He would do everything to entertain you. He would not just pretend to act and impress if he is genuinely interested in you. He would be appreciative of your positive points, and wouldn't give fake praises, but would opine honestly. He shares his accomplishments with you and supports you with
each important task. He would reveal his deepest wishes and fears with you.[/b


read more at www.tip4marriages.com

[b] Planning a wedding

For some wedding planning is not more than booking a banquet hall for the gala reception and ceremony. In actual wedding planning includes many more things. A perfect plan will include prayer and fasting, invitation ideas, bridesmaid dresses, attire for mother of the bride, not least selecting the right bridal flower bouquets. Most important is that you should make your wedding fun and fabulous.

Every wedding has a budget. It depends that how much you want to spend on your marriage. Most brides and grooms feel overwhelmed in the process of wedding planning. Begin by creating a personalized month-by-month to-do list with an approximate wedding date. Add all meetings related to the wedding to your checklist so you don't forget.

The reception party where all your guests come together to celebrate this event with you. It should reflect and complement the formality of your ceremony. The place for reception party should be selected depending on its availability, price, proximity to the ceremony site, and the number of people it can accommodate.

Decision about food is also very important. The first decision that has to be made about your wedding food is whether you will hire a caterer or prepare and serve everything with the help of family and friends, of course. Basically, a caterer will be more expensive but less time-consuming on your part and, therefore, less stressful. On the other hand, buying and preparing the food yourself will save you quite a bit of money.

Wedding planning should be done with fun and excitement. A wedding should always be a most memorable moment of life, so it should be done with care and excitement. A well planned wedding will give you an appreciation from others. However, if you don't do the proper research and stay within your budget things can go bad in a hurry. You need to make a well organized list of things to do. You need to keep the things well organized and simple. Here are some basic tips to organize a well planned wedding.

1. The first that needs to be decided that how big and complex you want your wedding to be. You want a small wedding with some simple arrangements or would you rather have a big wedding? You need to make sure both you and your partner are on the same page and agree on things. Prepare to make some compromises.
2. Decide a good and the most attractive theme for your wedding. This will include that how people will dress, kind of music, food, venue, and decorations.
3. What is your budget for this wedding? How much can you really afford. There is no reason to go all out on a wedding if you can't afford it. This could lead to some really big problems with your families and you as a couple. Instead you can arrange a good and simple wedding within your budget by arranging all things in a well planned manner.
4. Decide that you will make all the wedding arrangements by your self or you want to hire a wedding planner? Wedding planners are certainly great and do a good job. Be sure if you do hire one that they don't get you spending a lot more money then you originally planned.
5. Make all the plans in time. Don't wait to long to get your plans in order. This is something that you must start taking care of. Decide about venue and do a booking for the hall on time, getting invitations ready, decide about foods and recipes and find your and your partner dress. Dress of bride and groom should be compatible to each other.


pLEASE READ MORE AT .......wwww.tips4marriages.com


[/b]

[b]
It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted or just putting up with each other. One husband described this bluntly: “When I get home my dog is the only one who seems excited to see me!” Make this year a break-through year in your relationship by trying three powerful empathy skills to deepen your love for each other.

(1) Make your partner feel welcome in your heart.

Focus on those qualities and strengths that you honor and respect in your partner. This simple focus will restore your partner’s value in your heart. Joe, a successful physician, and Sylvia, a marketing executive, complained about their unfulfilling marriage and stressful lives. The more they talked, the clearer it became that they were living parallel lives.

Their first challenge was to switch the focus away from themselves and onto each other. They acknowledged that they were taking each other for granted and that their jobs got the best of them. They ended up giving each other the leftovers. They decided to switch their priorities and focus first on each other’s feelings and needs and to practice daily the art of welcoming each other into their hearts. Today they are far more emotionally connected and happier.

Try this: Each day greet your partner with a genuine smile and some expression of affection.

(2) Become interested in how your spouse is feeling.

Remember when you were dating? You had an insatiable interest in each other’s feelings and what would make each other happy. Over the years you may have shifted focus away from your partner and more towards yourself. Perhaps now you’ve come to expect that he or she should always be there to support you or you’ve gotten too task-oriented, hoping he or she will not interfere with your plans.

When you disregard your partner’s feelings as unimportant, however, you are actually disregarding your partner. Understanding your partner’s feelings opens the door into his or her intimate emotional life and finding out what makes your partner happy is crucial. You don’t have to be that insightful or sensitive to notice what makes your partner angry, sad, or worried–but what may be more elusive is what makes your partner happy.

Mary and Robert had been married for seven years. She complained that Robert liked to run the household as if it were his office. He was caring and responsible but always placed tasks before people. He was convinced that he was a good husband because he worked very hard to provide for his family and had never cheated on his wife or done anything immoral or illegal. He couldn’t understand why Mary was unhappy with him. After all, he thought, wasn’t he hardworking, loyal, honest, and responsible? Mary eventually confronted him: “Yes, Robert, you have all those qualities, but you don’t give me what I want.” Throughout their marriage he played the role of the good husband, according to him.

Finally he realized that he was a good husband only if Mary felt loved by him. Mary wanted a husband that focused first on loving her and the kids and then on completing tasks. He also discovered that Mary felt loved by him when he understood and valued her feelings.

Try this once a week: Ask your partner what you could do during that week to bring him or her joy.

(3) Validate your partner’s feelings.

Validating your partner’s feelings means valuing what he or she is feeling and showing it through supportive feedback. You don’t need to analyze or judge the validity of those feelings but simply appreciate that he or she shared them.

Mark and Tiffany had difficulty validating each other’s feelings. Their attempts to communicate with each other usually followed a predictable pattern of failure. When Tiffany shared anger, worry, or sadness, Mark tried to help her by offering advice on how to solve or prevent the situation that caused those negative feelings. Tiffany wanted to feel understood.

Whenever Mark gave her unsolicited advice, she became upset with him. Mark, in turn, felt upset that she didn’t appreciate his genuine desire to help with her problem and began to withdraw emotionally. Tiffany felt his detachment and began to resent and criticize his emotional insensitivity and shared her feelings again only with reluctance. Fortunately they broke this negative cycle by learning to validate each other’s feelings. Mark began to validate Tiffany by saying, “I can see how upsetting that was for you. Is there anything that I can do to help you now?” Now their sharing leads to greater emotional intimacy...........READ MORE AT www.tips4marriages.com and leave your comments.[/b]

[b]
It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking each other for granted or just putting up with each other. One husband described this bluntly: “When I get home my dog is the only one who seems excited to see me!” Make this year a break-through year in your relationship by trying three powerful empathy skills to deepen your love for each other.

(1) Make your partner feel welcome in your heart.

Focus on those qualities and strengths that you honor and respect in your partner. This simple focus will restore your partner’s value in your heart. Joe, a successful physician, and Sylvia, a marketing executive, complained about their unfulfilling marriage and stressful lives. The more they talked, the clearer it became that they were living parallel lives.

Their first challenge was to switch the focus away from themselves and onto each other. They acknowledged that they were taking each other for granted and that their jobs got the best of them. They ended up giving each other the leftovers. They decided to switch their priorities and focus first on each other’s feelings and needs and to practice daily the art of welcoming each other into their hearts. Today they are far more emotionally connected and happier.

Try this: Each day greet your partner with a genuine smile and some expression of affection.

(2) Become interested in how your spouse is feeling.

Remember when you were dating? You had an insatiable interest in each other’s feelings and what would make each other happy. Over the years you may have shifted focus away from your partner and more towards yourself. Perhaps now you’ve come to expect that he or she should always be there to support you or you’ve gotten too task-oriented, hoping he or she will not interfere with your plans.

When you disregard your partner’s feelings as unimportant, however, you are actually disregarding your partner. Understanding your partner’s feelings opens the door into his or her intimate emotional life and finding out what makes your partner happy is crucial. You don’t have to be that insightful or sensitive to notice what makes your partner angry, sad, or worried–but what may be more elusive is what makes your partner happy.

Mary and Robert had been married for seven years. She complained that Robert liked to run the household as if it were his office. He was caring and responsible but always placed tasks before people. He was convinced that he was a good husband because he worked very hard to provide for his family and had never cheated on his wife or done anything immoral or illegal. He couldn’t understand why Mary was unhappy with him. After all, he thought, wasn’t he hardworking, loyal, honest, and responsible? Mary eventually confronted him: “Yes, Robert, you have all those qualities, but you don’t give me what I want.” Throughout their marriage he played the role of the good husband, according to him.

Finally he realized that he was a good husband only if Mary felt loved by him. Mary wanted a husband that focused first on loving her and the kids and then on completing tasks. He also discovered that Mary felt loved by him when he understood and valued her feelings.

Try this once a week: Ask your partner what you could do during that week to bring him or her joy.

(3) Validate your partner’s feelings.

Validating your partner’s feelings means valuing what he or she is feeling and showing it through supportive feedback. You don’t need to analyze or judge the validity of those feelings but simply appreciate that he or she shared them.

Mark and Tiffany had difficulty validating each other’s feelings. Their attempts to communicate with each other usually followed a predictable pattern of failure. When Tiffany shared anger, worry, or sadness, Mark tried to help her by offering advice on how to solve or prevent the situation that caused those negative feelings. Tiffany wanted to feel understood.

Whenever Mark gave her unsolicited advice, she became upset with him. Mark, in turn, felt Aupset that she didn’t appreciate his genuine desire to help with her problem and began to withdraw emotionally. Tiffany felt his detachment and began to resent and criticize his emotional insensitivity and shared her feelings again only with reluctance. Fortunately they broke this negative cycle by learning to validate each other’s feelings. Mark began to validate Tiffany by saying, “I can see how upsetting that was for you. Is there anything that I can do to help you now?” Now their sharing leads to greater emotional intimacy[right][/right] OURSELV[/b]

[b]What Makes Marriage Work

Communication

What is the one indispensable ingredient for making marriages work? Family life educators usually answer: communication. This is good news, because effective communication can be learned. Skills such as active listening, using “I” statements, paying attention to my feelings and those of my spouse, and learning tips for “fighting fair” make marriage easier. Some couples use these skills intuitively because they saw them modeled in their own upbringing. Others can learn them through classes, workshops and reading.

Of course, the hardest part of communicating usually comes when there is disagreement between the two of you.

Commitment and Common Values

Some ingredients, if missing, can doom a relationship from the start. Two primary ones are commitment and common values.

Commitment bonds a couple together when you are tired, annoyed, or angry with each other. Sometimes, remembering your vows can prompt you to push past these problems and try to forgive and start again.

Common values are important. If you aren’t together on basic values such as children, honesty, fidelity, and putting family before work, no amount of learning or effort of the will can resolve the conflict. For example, constant tension will result if one spouse wants to live simply while the other wants life’s luxuries.

Spirituality/Faith

You might not consider yourself a spiritual person; however, anyone who seeks the deeper meaning of life, and not a life focused on personal pleasure, operates out of a spiritual sense. For many this desire is expressed in commitment to a specific faith tradition. Here one joins with others to worship God and work for the common good.

Although being a person of faith is not essential to making your marriage work, it’s a bonus. Certainly good people throughout the ages have had happy marriages and not all of them have been religious. But it helps to have faith principles to guide you and a faith community to encourage your commitment.[/b]

Read more at www.tips4marriages.com

You can leave your comments and suggestions,more so,if you have a problem you can leave it there so that we can share it together.

Characteristics of a good Husband

This article will help you understand how to be a good husband to your wife. As husband, we must all strive to treat our wife's as human beings not like an animal.They are our partners in progress not our slaves.

Moreover,our wife's must be willing to marry us when we meet in heaven or when we meet back on this planet but not the other way round.
How to be a good husband and father? This is one question which is haunting the minds of millions of men across the globe. However, the truth is that to be a good husband, you should first of all be a good human being. Once you achieve this, you will realize that all your worries about your relationships have almost died.

Go through guidelines and suggestions in the next few paragraphs to know more on this subject.

Be Loyal to Your Wife
Loyalty is one of the most important qualities of a good husband. You should remember that only those relationships last long in which the husbands are faithful and co-operate with their wives. You should strictly avoid any kinds of extramarital affairs as this can break your marriage and disturb your happy life. Another suggestion would be to always speak the truth to your wife. If you have a habit of hiding things or telling lies, give it up for your own good. This is because once your spouse loses confidence and faith, you will find it very tough to gain it back.

Love Her Unconditionally
Unconditional love is what makes a good husband. Do not put forth any rules and regulations such as, if you do this for me, then I will give you a gift. Putting forth such conditions can lead to your partner suspecting whether your love is real or not. You should stand by your spouse during her good as well as the bad times and face difficult situations with courage. Loving a person just does not mean showering him with big gifts. You can win the heart of your partner by doing simple things which have a true emotional impact. However, one important thing to remember is that if your love is not genuine enough, then it will definitely show from your behavior and will earn you the tag of a liar.[b]

Be Supportive and Encouraging
Encourage your wife to explore her talent to the fullest. If you think that your wife is good at a particular art, then you can simply enroll her name in an art school or college. Your wife will definitely appreciate your efforts in shaping her career. Give your wife time to prove her talent. Do not expect overnight returns and give her the chance to learn the task which she has taken up.

Give up Your Bad Habits
You should try your level best to give up your bad habits which your wife does not like. For example, if you are addicted to drinking or smoking, try to give up these habits completely. If your wife does not like your temper, go to a counselor and search for ways to stay calm and cool. Try to improve your overall personality by conducting a reality check about yourself. Changing yourself does not mean that there is any need to imitate any other person. By increasing your will power, you will certainly be able to be a good human being.Also above all , always forgive her of all her misdoings but always focuses on her strengths not weaknesses.

Thus, from the above explanation, we understand that it is quite easy to understand how to be a good husband. However, the real challenge lies in changing your behavioral ways practically. All the best.


Read more at www.tips4marriages.com[/b]

Healthy Relationship


Relationship is very important in our daily life's because we live among human being even animal have relationships.

More so, it is important to ask yourself what you consider a real relationship to be. You need to understand what your needs and desires are from another person, and what you are willing to give them.

This way, you can see early in your first dates, if you wish to continue and work towards a future together, and if the other person feels the same of course (both sides count). healthy relationship

Once you have decided to have an official relationship, you both need to remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. For instance, what attracted you to each other both physically and emotionally? What do you admire about his or her personality?

This will help not taking the other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort.

Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so never expect a person to always see things your way. However, it is important to have similar expectations out of a relationship, if you wish to avoid frequent arguments.

Look for things like whether or not it is important for the both of you to see each other everyday, or have sex often. While seeing each other on a daily basis seems wonderful and healthy to some people, others may feel smothered and need space to have some alone time. Or if sex is on the top of your list, but is not on your partners, you might want to consider that, unless you do not mind waiting or taking care of yourself once in a while depending on how long you have to wait!

Patience is one of the main keys to a healthy relationship. There are times when our partner will not respond in a way in which is pleasing to us, but this does not mean we have to take it so seriously or personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way.

Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely and they feel attacked, not to mention it shows that you automatically assume the worst of them. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk. No matter what the situation may be, patience is golden in a relationship, unless your partner never wants to discuss matters with you (which would mean you need counseling or leave the relationship).

Honesty is also at the top of everyone's list when it comes to what people want out of a relationship. A person needs to know that they can trust their mate because it builds a zone of safety and comfortableness around them. They need to know that they can at least rely on their loving partner to tell them the truth, no matter what. Being human means NOT being perfect, which means we will make mistakes. Now, we should not let that fact lead us to making mistakes we already know are wrong ahead of time. If your partner deliberately makes mistakes or you knowingly make mistakes, it shows that you or your partner lacks respect and care for the other. This is unhealthy for the relationship. What is healthy however, is realizing that the mistake you committed is a mistake. You or your partner need to know that what they did was wrong and they need to feel the sympathy for what they did. Once you or partner have realized this, you can then figure out a way of how you will confess your wrong doings to the other.

Finally, we must all live peacefully with all men because we don't know who will be of assistance when needs be.We must be help meet and compliment each other at all times.


You can read more at www.tips4marriages.com

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