Statistics now show that 60 percent of marriages fail. Why do you think that is? It is because we are not marrying suitable people. If a person exploits you and disrespects you during the courtship / dating period, what makes you think anything is going to change after marrying them?

During the "getting to know one another" stage of the relationship do they care more about what they can receive from you than getting to know you? Do they care more about what you have, how you look, or what you do for a living than the person within? These things are all very superficial and do not matter for having a loving and stable marriage.

Building A Firm Marriage Foundation Before Getting Married

If your relationship starts out as a sexual relationship but never develops into anything else and you marry them, what will the relationship be based on? Lust and desire are not emotions that we should base our marriage on. Having sex with someone before getting married does not guarantee marital success. But getting to know someone's character and seeing they have moral convictions about marriage purity does!

Marrying someone with lots of money and stuff will not guarantee marriage happiness, but marrying someone because you both live comparable lifestyles in Jesus Christ does! Marrying someone because they are good-looking does not guarantee happiness ever after, but marrying people who are committed to staying married, no matter what, does!

The bottom line is we need to marry people who share our same beliefs in Jesus Christ. Just because two people "say" they are Christians does not mean they are compatible people. One person's faith and beliefs may be VERY different than another person's faith and beliefs. Know who you are marrying!

The root of the problem for failing marriages is that they do not start off right to begin with. Without a firm foundation to support the marriage on, it cannot survive, hence divorce, or at the very least, an unhappy marriage. We need to start off our relationships on something tangible and true! God and His principles are something we can hang onto when times are tough in our marriage, but feelings of lust and desire diminish with time and will not be around to help us when we are having marriage difficulties.

Why are we so superficial in our relationships? Why are we jumping into marriage with such fairytale images of happiness ever after? I think it is because we have not been taught how to find suitable marriage spouses from our parents and because we aren't waiting on God. We seriously need to pray about our friendships with the opposite sex and never take our focus off of the reason we are able to even love another properly in the first place. If Christ had not sacrificed his life for ours how would we have learned what real love and forgiveness is all about?

Jesus Christ living in us gives us the fruits to discern the difference between someone who is only using us and thinks they want to spend the rest of their life with us, and the person who we should actually marry. Look for the fruits in others. Fruits do not come from outside appearances, nobility, status, money, power, etc. But fruits of the Spirit come from within a person. These are what we need to look for in a potential marriage spouse. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance, against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23).

Read more here.......www.tips4marriages.com.[b][/b]

Lovely.....I m taking note

Op has very good points but i ll only marry after God shows me a vision of my husband.

Sniffa: Op has very good points but i ll only marry after God shows me a vision of my husband.

LOL sniffa hmmm vision? Anyway, we'll see about dat. Gist me when it shows in ur drm ok? Well, that said, i think marriage in nigeria is not as it used to be, all thanks to our ladies who are thinking they are more clever than ever in attracting men.

Well, i really feel sorry for the pretty ladies most because now is a real bad generation for them to come to the world. Have you seen wedding photos lately My God! Where are all the "hot" ladies? Nowhere to be found!!! All the "regular-looking girls" are getting all the attention these days. And who will blame d guys? Nobody! Because, Miss make-up and prettyface can't cook, she can't clean, she can't use a bus, so MANY she CAN'Ts... Abeg. One advice, just be real and dump all those fakeness you carry on you, and maybe Bro. Christian who has been fasting and looking for a wife he can start life with on that his average salary will feel you are a wife-material and not a Beauty soap model that is desperately looking for class and lots of naira. *lips sealed*

@op, what do av to say to this;
a muslim was in love with a devoted christian, he joined her church, became a worker, became friends n proposed to her. Of course d church was aware n prayed with them. Shortly after wedding, he brought out all bibles n likes n burnt them. He then brought out his quran n said he has always been a muslim that it was his love for her that made him go that far.
.
.
Marry someone u can accomodate not cos of some so called qualities.

michaelbiz:

LOL sniffa hmmm vision? Anyway, we'll see about dat. Gist me when it shows in ur drm ok? Well, that said, i think marriage in nigeria is not as it used to be, all thanks to our ladies who are thinking they are more clever than ever in attracting men.

Well, i really feel sorry for the pretty ladies most because now is a real bad generation for them to come to the world. Have you seen wedding photos lately My God! Where are all the "hot" ladies? Nowhere to be found!!! All the "regular-looking girls" are getting all the attention these days. And who will blame d guys? Nobody! Because, Miss make-up and prettyface can't cook, she can't clean, she can't use a bus, so MANY she CAN'Ts... Abeg. One advice, just be real and dump all those fakeness you carry on you, and maybe Bro. Christian who has been fasting and looking for a wife he can start life with on that his average salary will feel you are a wife-material and not a Beauty soap model that is desperately looking for class and lots of naira. *lips sealed*

cut some slack michael.not all doll faced girls are not domesticated.yes there are ourightly lazy ladies whose life revolves around make ups and parties.yes,ladies should carry themselves with class and poise but that doesnt mean she is fake for crying out loud.i understand where you are comming from because i've seen a lot of miss class that will be saying thrash with pride e.g i cant make amala,i dont want hot water to pour on me and hurt my skin,i cant make semo,its local,i cant sweep and mop,i am a big girl,besides i have a masters degree so why would i mop.i have come across ladies like that but there are still some ladies that are good looking as well as domesticated,you dont just judge anyone from afar,you move close to people to know who they really are.ill use myself as an example.

I went to corona boarding house when i was in secondary school,when i came home for holidays,my mom noticed i couldnt mop well,i couldnt fetch water,i couldnt even make fufu.guy,my mom withdrew me and took me to a local school with pako kids where they will groom me to be domesticated.i went to a grammar school where they cut grass,fetch water in the well and move to far distance,your hostel,there was no laundary man to wash my clothes like in corona,i had to do everything my self.i didnt adjust on time but finally i did,when i got home,my mom saw the difference.when i look back today i just laugh and thank God for my life because i know if my mom didnt take drastic action,i will most likely be among the miss class that cant do anything because everyone is always doing everything for them.many of my corona school mates who are from wealthy homes cant do anything except attending red carpets and acting miss posh.dont get me wrong,i am not saying a lady should be razz before she can get a man.a woman should be sound intellectually,domestically and at the same time act posh and clean

kulyie: cut some slack michael.not all doll faced girls are not domesticated.yes there are ourightly lazy ladies whose life revolves around make ups and parties.yes,ladies should carry themselves with class and poise but that doesnt mean she is fake for crying out loud.i understand where you are comming from because i've seen a lot of miss class that will be saying thrash with pride e.g i cant make amala,i dont want hot water to pour on me and hurt my skin,i cant make semo,its local,i cant sweep and mop,i am a big girl,besides i have a masters degree so why would i mop.i have come across ladies like that but there are still some ladies that are good looking as well as domesticated,you dont just judge anyone from afar,you move close to people to know who they really are.ill use myself as an example.

I went to corona boarding house when i was in secondary school,when i came home for holidays,my mom noticed i couldnt mop well,i couldnt fetch water,i couldnt even make fufu.guy,my mom withdrew me and took me to a local school with pako kids where they will groom me to be domesticated.i went to a grammar school where they cut grass,fetch water in the well and move to far distance,your hostel,there was no laundary man to wash my clothes like in corona,i had to do everything my self.i didnt adjust on time but finally i did,when i got home,my mom saw the difference.when i look back today i just laugh and thank God for my life because i know if my mom didnt take drastic action,i will most likely be among the miss class that cant do anything because everyone is always doing everything for them.many of my corona school mates who are from wealthy homes cant do anything except attending red carpets and acting miss posh.dont get me wrong,i am not saying a lady should be razz before she can get a man.a woman should be sound intellectually,domestically and at the same time act posh and clean

I think she has said it all. baby that's sweet. More from intelligent ladies like you

kulyie: cut some slack michael.not all doll faced girls are not domesticated.yes there are ourightly lazy ladies whose life revolves around make ups and parties.yes,ladies should carry themselves with class and poise but that doesnt mean she is fake for crying out loud.i understand where you are comming from because i've seen a lot of miss class that will be saying thrash with pride

You just repeated what I said, my dear.
But you don't know where I am coming from.
I was just probably your neigbour (school-wise), I finished from Loral...toosh school, if you remember we had The Bells, Corona and Loral in Agbara Estate route.

Funny thing is most of our girls didn't learn how to cook, and we saw no reason why their pretty face wasn't a problem. Same with Vivian Fowler where I saw it all, my cousins, my girlfriend *at the time* had to marry a white guy cuz she couldn't do ANYTHING!

but there are still some ladies that are good looking as well as domesticated,you dont just judge anyone from afar,you move close to people to know who they really are.

Obviously there are pretty faces everywhere. But that's not my point precisely.
The sincere truth WHICH YOU AND I KNOW is that few men can approach them because they probably would remind them of past experiences with the same kind. Don't you understand

I went to corona boarding house when i was in secondary school,when i came home for holidays, my mom noticed i couldnt mop well,i couldnt fetch water,i couldnt even make fufu.

You just made my point for me here. LOL

i didnt adjust on time but finally i did,when i got home,my mom saw the difference.when i look back today i just laugh and thank God for my life because i know if my mom didnt take drastic action,i will most likely be among the miss class that cant do anything because everyone is always doing everything for them. many of my corona school mates who are from wealthy homes cant do anything except attending red carpets and acting miss posh.

You see I didn't say that for you. I'm probably sure you said it without realizing you were still coming back to the point I made earlier. 80% of the real men out there can't deal with this stuff, dearie, let's face it, ok?

In summary: In this generation ooo, hmm wedding dream is going to be TOUGH for Miss Pretty. Fact not Fiction. Take my advice, and try it and see for yourself. I rest my case, sweetie.

michaelbiz:

You just repeated what I said, my dear.
But you don't know where I am coming from.
I was just probably your neigbour (school-wise), I finished from Loral...toosh school, if you remember we had The Bells, Corona and Loral in Agbara Estate route.

Funny thing is most of our girls didn't learn how to cook, and we saw no reason why their pretty face wasn't a problem. Same with Vivian Fowler where I saw it all, my cousins, my girlfriend *at the time* had to marry a white guy cuz she couldn't do ANYTHING!



Obviously there are pretty faces everywhere. But that's not my point precisely.
The sincere truth WHICH YOU AND I KNOW is that few men can approach them because they probably would remind them of past experiences with the same kind. Don't you understand



You just made my point for me here. LOL



You see I didn't say that for you. I'm probably sure you said it without realizing you were still coming back to the point I made earlier. 80% of the real men out there can't deal with this stuff, dearie, let's face it, ok?

In summary: In this generation ooo, hmm wedding dream is going to be TOUGH for Miss Pretty. Fact not Fiction. Take my advice, and try it and see for yourself. I rest my case, sweetie.

lol,i know all those schools you mentioned and i have a couple of childhood friends from loral who i have lost contact with anyway,the summary of my tale is that its not all ajebos or cuties that cant do anything or cant cope with tough times and real life issues when there is no daddy or mummy to call ,thats just the koko of the issh

when peeps who didnt know me earlier or see me afar of before getting close to me,they usually confess that i look like some bimbo ajebo that is so fragile,sexy and cant do anything,i just laugh in my mind because if they see me with broom chopping ewedu,they wont believe their eyes. However thanks for the advice even though its partly untrue in conclusion ill quote ate mrs bimbo odukoya.she said a complete woman is a woman that is sound domestically,intelectually,socially,has standards she sticks to and respects herself.

myweb:
I think she has said it all. baby that's sweet. More from intelligent ladies like you

thanks love

Exponental: @op, what do av to say to this;
a muslim was in love with a devoted christian, he joined her church, became a worker, became friends n proposed to her. Of course d church was aware n prayed with them. Shortly after wedding, he brought out all bibles n likes n burnt them. He then brought out his quran n said he has always been a muslim that it was his love for her that made him go that far.
.
.
Marry someone u can accomodate not cos of some so called qualities.

Haaaaaaaaa! This one is a real SET-UP!
Shebi I used to tell ladies this thing, but at d end they think they have "found d sweetest guy on earth" *in Mariah Carey's voice. LOL.

Plsssss, ladies not all that glitters is gold.
Can u bear d pain when someone has consistently followed u like mumu just because u want him to do ur wishes, and he being a smart deceiver, plays his Joker on you after you have SEALED YOUR FATE! What could be more terrible? Am just so lost with the attitude of "if he loves me, he will change because of me" Mtcheww av heard that a 1000 x and it didn't work.

Well, I jst pray that ladies will learn to SEE a real man, accept the little imperfections and carry on with a wonderful married life, than to make the whole charade of a wedding to a "Mr.Smart" when he's only playing on your intelligence to "win you over".

Stop all this "checking" check-check checkpoint stop-and-search techniques that have always landed millions of "Miss I-Just-Want-To-Be-Very-Sure" into trouble.
Not every REAL MAN likes the chasing game.
And in this our time, REAL MEN have options....*hot tip*

You guys are funny enough, all correct. Not all pretty poshies are "useless" at home but most people, male and female alike, see them as such.
I'm married to one heck of a pretty, sexy, poshy lady who happens to be a great home maker. But can you imagine that my Pastor's wife was sharing meat in church and didn't give my wife because she felt my wife doesn't cook? Meanwhile if you taste my Lady's efo riro ehn! Na die!!