₦airaland Forum

DISCLAIMER: These aren't my words!!!

MUSLIMS ARE NOT HAPPY - Jeff Foxworthy

They’re not happy in Gaza
They're not happy in Egypt
They're not happy in Libya
They're not happy in Morocco
They're not happy in Iran
They're not happy in Iraq
They're not happy in Yemen
They're not happy in Afghanistan
They're not happy in Pakistan
They're not happy in Syria
They're not happy in Lebanon

SO, WHERE ARE THEY HAPPY?
They're happy in Australia
They're happy in England
They're happy in France
They're happy in Italy
They're happy in Germany
They're happy in Sweden
They're happy in the USA & Canada
They're happy in Norway

They're happy in almost every country that is not Islamic! And who do they blame? Not Islam... Not their leadership... Not themselves... THEY BLAME THE COUNTRIES THEY ARE HAPPY IN!! And they want to change the countries they're happy in, to be like the countries they came from where they were unhappy. Try to find logic in that...

1. If you refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor... You are a Muslim
2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes... You are a Muslim
3. If you have more wives than teeth... You are a Muslim
4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean... You are a Muslim
5. If you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide... You are a Muslim
6. If you can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against... You are a Muslim
7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing... You are a Muslim
8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs... You are a Muslim
9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four... You are a Muslim
10. If you find this offensive or racist... You are a Muslim!!!

WASHINGTON POST MAKES A HUGE MOCKERY OF PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN

Last month, The Post published an op-ed by Ni­ger­ian President Goodluck Jonathan answering criticism of his response to the kidnapping of hundreds of schoolgirls by the group Boko Haram. This is what he should have written.

I have remained quiet about Nigeria’s continuing efforts to find the girls kidnapped in April from the northern town of Chibok, because, honestly, I hoped the world would ignore it as just another “African tragedy.” But the attention brought by #BringBackOurGirls forced my administration to abandon its usual do-nothing strategy. I admit that for weeks, the Nigerian military was nowhere to be seen in Chibok and aggrieved parents had to resort to venturing into the jungle on foot to search for their children. But I assure everyone, we are doing our best.

I am speaking out now because national elections are in less than a year and my Washington PR firm needs to earn the reported $1.2 million I am paying it to reverse the criticism that has overshadowed all my good intentions.

I wish to assure Nigerians and the international community that, even though my military officially wrapped up its investigation into the kidnappings, without locating the girls, we are sparing no resources. We will keep the findings of the investigations secret, since my good-faith assurances are enough.

My heart aches for the missing children and their families. In fact, my heartache was so painful that I canceled plans to visit Chibok. Instead, I eased my pain by flying to Paris for a national security summit. My first lady, Patience Jonathan, shares in my grief for the families affected by the tragedy. She was so troubled by the agitation of protesters demanding their girls back that she told them to stop their actions and allegedly ordered the police to detain several protest leaders.

While terrorism knows no borders, and security threats rage on across West Africa, Nigeria has long been reluctant to accept counterterrorism assistance from the United States and other partners. Nothing is more important than stopping the machinations of Boko Haram, except maybe my desire to keep up appearances and show the international community that Nigeria was winning the war against the group. I know that I have characterized Boko Haram as a temporary scourge, but in the wake of the latest attacks and kidnappings of more women just this week, I recognize that it has effectively exploited the inability of the Nigerian military to put up any semblance of a sustained coordinated response. But in spite of all the challenges, we are definitely doing our best.

Despite Nigeria’s status as a regional powerhouse with a population of 168 million, until now it had not occurred to me to collaborate with neighboring countries to fight terrorism. I wish to thank French President François Hollande for inviting me and other West African presidents to Paris to discuss this. When it comes to strategizing on African solutions to African problems, a European should take the lead. Besides, I do my best thinking in Paris.

My critics say that decades of neglect have led to conditions amenable to radicalization in the north. My detractors will point also to human rights abuses perpetrated by the military. Let the finger-pointing stop. I am sparing no resources. I propose to set up an international summit to organize a fact-finding commission of investigative inquiry to study the progress of ongoing investigations of corruption and lack of development in the north. I have again asked President Hollande to provide a forum for this in Paris, though I would accept the French Riviera.

Something positive can come out of the kidnappings more than 70 days ago. The world has seen what can happen when terrorism is left to run amok and the citizens of a country have little faith in the ability of their government to protect them. But I wish to assure Nigerians and the rest of the world that I am doing my best.

Ayire: I guess u ar the only one that sees the gun..... All I see is mask ,rope arnd d guys neck and okada.
God should just let the better man rule, they all are the same selfish f$#ed up idi.ots

If you look at the picture carefully, you'll see the travor machine gun... Besides, the mask and hand gloves are a normal DSS dressing in Nigeria!