@ all. This post has nothing to do with us. It was copied from this site:

http://genuinehusband..com/2012/04/why-husbands-leave-part-1-significance.html

Cheers!

@efe, tanks for your advice. I actually noticed this trait in him while courting and I called his attention to it. He promised that he won't talk to me that way. He talks to his siblings like that sometimes especially wen he is angry but I am not ready to accept that.

@ileobatojo, that is not the issue here. The truth is he has a mindset that I like challenging him, not submissive etc. I don't know why he feels challenged by my person. Fine, I may be the main financier of the home but that should not be a reason for his reactions. Sometimes I feel if things are working better for him, he won't be this irritable.

Thanks for the responses.
@Modele - This is just an example of what communicating with him is like.I don't monitor him and his movement is quite predictable. I was just asking that question because of our initial plan and agreement. Thank you for sharing your experience, I have learnt one or two things from it.

@Biolabee, - hmmm. For now it's like our communication via BB is better o. I know this should not be so though. He is the type that raises his voice when talking to me. So if we are just discussing, his tone sounds as if we quarreling or arguing. If I point it out, he may shout more or few times adjust.

@Baba Oyo - I have to admit that it is not at all times I am that patient sha. His responses can be very annoying and if I point it out he never agrees and would blame me for one thing or the other. He feels it is his place to correct and he does not see himself as being wrong no matter what.

@Efemana- the end was not good. He got home by 4:30 with no explanation or apology. Came home with a take away (I presumed was shared at the meeting). While he was eating I jokingly brought a spoon that I was also interested in the food, he shouted back at me that I was disturbing him. On our way to the the couple's place, I told him I didnt like his responses and in his usual way he started shouting back at me. He called me some names and I replied him (eg he said I was a fool and I replied that that makes him the husband of a fool etc). I know that I should have handled it better but I was also angry.

In all of this, he believes I am always 100% wrong and he is 100%right. I guess I will try to over look his tone and shabby/sharp way of talking.

Hello house, please I need your candid opinion and advice. What do you think is wrong with this couple. I am the wife in question and talking or chatting with hubby usually degenerate into misunderstanding. The BBM chat below is just a sample of what I mean.

Background of this chat: It was on a Saturday and we had planned to pay a visit to a couple who just delivered a baby. Coincidentally, a church meeting was summoned for 11am and hubby was to go while I do other things. He was to go for this meeting and later pick me and our baby for the earlier scheduled visit. (Please note that a day before, our car broke down and hubby worked on it, he was also talking about taking the car for servicing later). When it was 3pm and he was not back I called him to know where he was, he didn’t pick it but he replied via a BBM chat. The chat below is the mgs exchanged:

Hubby: Do other things b4 I come. Not through
Wife: Kk, but no other tins to be done o. Where r u?,Are you not thru wit d church meeting?
Hubby: Read
Wife: Where r u?
Hubby:I told u not through and u are asking where I am. Where did I say I was going to?
Wife: (the following emoticons were sent to him)
love
kiss:
love:
rose flower:
rose flower:
love
Hugs:
Hugs
Smile
winks
Kiss:
Love:
Gift:
gift

(At 4pm, he was not back)
Wife::Where r u now, still in church or at the mechanic?
Hubby: Did I at any point in time mentioned mechanic to u?
Wife: Relax bro God is in control and don't get worked up for nothing. Life is too short. (Hugs Hugs) .
Hubby: And who is getting worked up. If not that u just wanted to be silly. I asked u back where did I say I was going to. Instead of u to get d drift u remained stubbornly adamant and asked me where I am, haba

Wife (pointing out the negative words he used): Silly, stubbornly adamant (Emoticons- love,kiss,winks)
Wife: One good turn deserves another. It’s just that I remember how dis couple stood by us in our time, making several trips to d hospital and home even b4 d naming ceremony. During d naming nko? Who made most of d purchases? Dis may be d only time I'll have to say hello to them, it's really bad. Haba, God dey.
Wife: My asking you where u are is just to know whether you are on your way or not. It’s sad that such a simple question can generate such heat from you. It is well.
Hubby: I never knew you could be this senseless

Most conversations with him end like this. Communicating with him is really difficult as he takes offense at trivial things that many people will let go of or will not notice. He seems to be always defensive when I talk to him especially if I have a contrary opinion. To me I feel we don’t communicate except for normal day to day issues. I find it easier speaking with outsiders- family and friends as he is usually not receptive. I don’t like this situation and I am tired – It can really be so lonely even while married. This is just 2 years marriage o. What do you think is wrong and how can I help this situation? Thanks for your advice

Well, I wouldn't want to call it stealing sha, but what can she do cos it's really annoying.

I still find it hard to believe that some women still think this way. Hmmm... in this present economic situation, you can't have it all. What happens if for some reasons she's the only one working and supporting the family? Though nobody prays for that but then it happens. If only I have the option of 50-50, I will share testimony o.

I feel so sad reading this. Is this all you could say about me to people that don’t know me or have never met me. God knows I am not competing or having power tussle with you but you’ve always had this mindset about me despite my several assurances and pleas.

But I wish you gave instances of when I refused to take your corrections or some of my utterances that you found so disrespectful. Sometimes I wish I could share those issues with someone but I never did because I feel they are so insignificant but you always read so much meaning to my remarks or actions.

Ok, let me share what happened last night that made you post such hateful comments about me. We came home from work together at about 8pm. On our way, I told you about how I had a very stressful day and that I had headache almost throughout the day. I explained to you that I had no time to eat till about 3pm because I was co-opted into a long meeting I didn’t plan for. We both know that I should have eaten a long time before then because of my pregnant state. Anyway, I still managed to prepare dinner which I finished at about 9:15pm. The food was served on a tray and I placed it before you and the first thing you said to me was that the tray was not properly placed before you because the position of the water is blocking your access to the food. I responded that you don’t have to nag about everything. Accepted, I shouldn’t have said that but I was really fagged out, more so I felt the single act of removing the water from its position would have solved the whole thing as against complaining over what I think is trivial. After then we both didn’t say a word about it only for me to see your post today.

I could go on and on over such issues that I feel are petty but you take so serious. I am sorry if you think I am so full of myself and that you don’t know where I belong. I don’t have a medical history and I don’t pray to. It hurts to know that you could describe me that way knowing fully well that I will read your post.

One thing is still no one on my prayer list for you, maybe when it materializes you will stop feeling challenged about my person.

It’s me.