Oouch... Am so stressed out. I just returned
frm mandela's
memorial in south africa..
Oh boy! If u c crowd ehn
na die. even d hold up 4 sky no be small tin...
Oh! Our plane too full to d Yansh (bottom) wey
pple dey lap
some sef dey stand: if no be say na first class I
dey,heat 4 don kill person.. I jst wind down 4
fresh
air to enter my body..
Well,i jst tnk Good i returned safely.. I nid to
rest
now..
2mao,i ll share d tins i brought okk?
happy
sunday... Lolx

Akpos story!!!
You won't believe what happened to
me yesterday night.
I was coming back from somewhere
around 9pm when i saw this beautiful
damsel approaching me.
She has the the beatiful face of
Beyonce,
The sumptious lips of Angelina Jolie,
The backside like that of Kim
Kardashian,
The curves were like that of Mercy
Johnson,
She got the height like that of Angela
Okorie,
Her eyes were as beautiful as that of Ini
Edo,
She got the forehead of Rihanna,
With bumper front package like that of
Cossy Orjiakor.
She was looking innocent like
Gennevieve Nnaji.
I knew i had to talk to her, it will be the
greatest mistake if i allow her pass
without talking. So i said
"Hi"
She didn't replied but she smiled.. So i
continued
"My name is Ocha, i will love to talk to
you but am in a hurry right now, pls
can i get your contact so that i can call
you for us to meet?"
She smiled again and said
"Ok, ZERO HATE ZERO, TIRI TIRI HATE,
SEFUN TWO TIRI, NOI NOI.. NA MY
HENTIHEN LINE BE DIS. YOU WANT MY
SAIN LINE?"
I fainted!!

Akpors committed a crime, and was been chased by
two police men. The police men chased him far and far
inside the forest, immediately akpors climbed on the
tree and hid there. Then the policemen ran far inside
the forest, then one of the police men told the 2nd
policeman, this was their convesation.
Policeman1: (telling policeman2) akpors has escaped
lets go back.
Policeman2: (telling policeman1) ok lets get to a tree
and rest.
So the two policemen went resting under a tree not
knowing it was the same tree akpors was hiding
policeman1: (telling policeman2) if i catch akpors,
hmm he will smell his anus.
Policeman2: (telling policeman1) akpors is a fool, just
watch, he will anwser me when i call him now
so the 2nd policement shouted: Akpors! Akpors!!
Akpors!!!
Akpors that was hiding from been caught, was
laughing up there, then he told the policemen this
Akpors: if you like start shouting my name from now till
next year, i wont anwser you, am not the akpors of
before. I don wise up.
one word 4 akpos.

Check out my mobile blog. http://www.adheshina.mywapblog.com

Thank God always

It happened in a hospital in Warri,
Delta State...
Intensive Care Unit (ICU) patients
were dying in the same bed, every
Sunday at 3pm. Doctors thought it
was something supernatural. So, a team of medical
experts gathered
to investigate the cause or causes
of the mysterious deaths.
The following Sunday, few
minutes before 3pm, all the
doctors & Nurses stood around that particular bed
waiting to see
what it was. Then suddenly Akpos
(part time sweeper) entered the
ICU, unplugged the Life Support
system of that bed & then
plugged his blackberry charger
One word??

AKPOS: Uncle, I learnt its difficult to get admission
into University these days, except you are well
connected… Uncle: Yes thats true. …
AKPOS: Since you are connected, I came to ask you
to help me get admission into university after my
jamb.
Uncle: Ya that’s true…am connected and I will help
you. AKPOS: Thank you uncle. Uncle: You are
welcome,
so how is your result, is it Waec or Neco and how
many credits did you get?
AKPOS: Uncle, its waec, I had only 2 credits in
Agricultural science and Yoruba language, but I
failed the
rest.
Uncle: Well, that’s not bad,you can still be a doctor,
not a medical doctor really, but native doctor
(babalawo)..you will use your credit in Agric in
collecting herbs from forest, and Yoruba language
for
incantations.

maishot: 1) Your best friend catching Ɣõu̶̲̥̅̊ banging his girlfriend = BackPass

2) Banging a girl @ her house and enjoying the same with her twin sister in ur own house, the same Evening (Damn!) = Home and Away match.

3) Gang-banging four sisters @ a blow = Messi

4) Romancing a girl and never able to bang her = FIFa

3) Banging a girl in the lecture hall, with her pants on = Up-true Pass

=D=Dı̣̣̣α̍̍̊и̣̣̣̥G̲̣̣̣̥н̣̣̣̝̇̇̇ɪ̣̝̇п̥̥̲̣̥G̲̣̣̣̥ ọ̥и̣̣̣̣̥†̥ ι̥ọ̥и̣̣̣̥d̶̲̥̅̊=D=D

Reply to get more

A thief was walking in a bush hunting for wht to steal he saw a lion.
He knee down n started praying

When he open his eyes he saw d lion kneeling down.

He askd d lion are u a xtian too.

D lion reply shut up don't u pray b4 u eat=))

How has ur day been?

Football vs Sex.

1. Going to your bf/gf without being invited = OFFSIDE.

2. Dating a girl today and having sex on the same day = FREE-KICK.

3. Condom = GOALKEEPER

4. Condom breaks = PENALTY

5. Abortion = RED CARD

6. A girl with lots of energy = CAPTAIN

7. Having sex without a condom = OWN GOAL

8. Taking a lot of time without coming = MAN OF THE MATCH.

9.Banging 3 girls in a day = HAT-TRICK.

10. Having many chicks and banging all = MVP

11. Having sex with your ex = FRIENDLY MATCH

12. 8 years of sex without getting a child = ARSENAL

13. After 2 rounds, u request for more =EXTRA TIME.

14. Taking it gently when having sex = FAIR PLAY

15. Biting her n!pples = SUAREZ

16.Two legs on shoulder = THROWIN

17. Asking her 'how do you want it' = Taking instructions on the sideline.

18. A lady using pills after sex and later still got pregnant = DEFENSIVE ERROR

19.Girl being pregnant = GoOoOoOallllll

20.Ur guy collect ur chick= True pass

21.Having sex with a girl..and your mum open d door= Injury

22.You and your girl break up= Game over

23. Girl tell u to stop= YELLOW CARD

Pass it on don't laugh only

Life's just too short to be single,snatch someone's Bf/Gf and be happy....

Move close to mine and u are dead